


To the Moon

by citation (WannaDay)



Series: your mind's catalyst [1]
Category: I.O.I (Band), NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mystery, Ongniel, Pining, Psychological Drama, Science Fiction, To The Moon, To the Moon AU, because I explain what needs to be explained, don't worry even if you haven't played the game you'll still understand the story, minhwan, really this is a pile of angst, the characters are either older or younger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2018-12-29 21:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 91,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12093405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WannaDay/pseuds/citation
Summary: Have you ever regretted something in your life?If you had the chance to rid yourself of that regret, would you?Two doctors traverse backwards through the memories of a dying man.All for the sake of fulfilling that dying man's last wish.





	1. the start

**Author's Note:**

> Whenever you see **♪♪♪** , please click on it! (open in new tab/window). It's music accompaniment for that part of the story! :)  
>  Also, don't forget to turn off autoplay!  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the Moon AU.
> 
> Don't worry, guys. Even if you haven't played the game, you'll still be able to understand what's going on :) I wrote explanations of the game's mechanisms throughout the whole story and (hopefully) they're easy to understand.
> 
> Aaand, without further ado, let's start!

  

 

 

_Have you ever regretted something in your life?_

_Regret that continued to linger, refusing to go away_

_And all it did was eat away at you— suffocating you— tearing you down little by little_

_If you had the chance to rid yourself of that regret, would you?_

_Would you?_

 

 

* * *

   **[♪♪♪](https://youtu.be/ASTXaTZZNHs)**

* * *

 

 

 

 

A lonely car made its way down an equally lonely road. Hours ago, it left a big city full of lights and bustling crowds. The scenery it now resided in was the complete opposite— dark and quiet except for the sounds of the sea nearby. Far away from pollution, the sky was filled with stars as far as the eye could see.

Thoughts ran in Hwang Minhyun’s mind as he drove the car carefully, his hands tight on the wheel. It was around 7 o’clock at night, and he wondered exactly how far away from civilization anyone could get. This was the first time he received a job from such an isolated location.

“Minhyun-hyung.”

At the sound of his name from a familiar voice, Minhyun glanced to his side. Settled comfortably on the passenger’s seat was his friend and work partner, Kim Jaehwan.

Just like Minhyun, Jaehwan wore a white lab coat over a simple black-colored shirt and pants— the uniforms of the company they worked at. The difference from them was that Minhyun kept himself nice and tidy, while Jaehwan’s dark brown hair was a complete and utter mess.

For a split second they locked eyes. Jaehwan, sitting cross-legged on the seat, clutched a folder full of documents to his chest as if it was a pillow. Realizing that Jaehwan didn’t even take off his shoes, Minhyun’s eye twitched.

 _What am I going to do with you?_ the older of the two groaned inwardly. He sighed before turning to focus on the road in front of them. They should be arriving at their destination in about an hour.

“Minhyun-hyung,” Jaehwan said again. “You were spacing out.”

“Was I?”

“Yeah, you looked kind of blank. Remember that we’re literally driving on the edge of a cliff. I’d prefer not to plunge into the sea.”

“Well, I’m all focused now. Don’t worry.”

Jaehwan looked out the window, observing the roaring sea below them. He whistled. There was only a small steel railing separating them from the drop. It would really be a long, long fall.

They stayed silent for a while until Jaehwan spoke again.

“Even though this is our eleventh job, it still feels weird.”

“What’s weird?” Minhyun asked. From the corner of his eye, he could still see Jaehwan staring out the window.

“That we’re fulfilling wishes,” the younger man said. “We’re fulfilling the wishes of people who don’t have much time to live.”

Minhyun knew where the conversation was going.

There was a sort of emptiness in Jaehwan’s voice as he continued. “But in the end, the wishes don’t really come true, do they?”

“If the company hears you saying this, you could get fired,” Minhyun said quietly.

Jaehwan was now leaning his head against the glass. “I know.”

Minhyun didn’t know what to say. Before, they had a similar conversation— plenty of times, actually. At the end of each conversation, they would trail off and never continue, only to start from the beginning again at some other time.

It wasn’t as if Minhyun didn’t have his own doubts. Working at Sigmund Corporation was a complete mindfuck of its own.

_Artificial memories._

Who knew that something as abstract as artificial memories could be created by technology? When Minhyun heard that it was indeed possible, and made by a company in the heart of the city, he wanted to know more about it. Being a psychology major graduate, it was his natural instinct to be curious about the workings of a person’s mind. Months later, he applied to work at Sigmund Corp. And it was there that he met Kim Jaehwan, a fellow psychology graduate from a different university. Despite utterly loathing the company’s name, Jaehwan was also interested in how the technology worked.

That was almost two years ago. After enduring a year of grueling training and selections, they were finally employed. Job after job they went through together— granting the dying wishes of men and women.

And grant wishes, they did. But it wasn’t as happy as one would think.

The technology developed by Sigmund Corp wasn’t like a wish-granting machine that could spew out items that a person desired. It also wasn’t a time machine that could change and solve previous life regrets.

It was a machine that created artificial memories. It enabled Sigmund Corp doctors to enter the memories of their clients, where the doctors would interact with both people and things residing in said memories. Through this, Minhyun and Jaehwan helped guide events into the direction in which the client would fulfill the desired wish.

But of course, that was the problem itself. Because artificial memories were simply that—   _artificial._ They weren’t real, never actually happened in the client’s life. And in simple terms, it fucked with the client’s head. Ultimately, the artificial memories would conflict with the real, authentic memories.

Which was why the machine could only be used for people who were on their death beds.

“But the clients die believing that they truly fulfilled their wish,” Minhyun said. "They die believing that they lived a life in which their wish really came true." The road seemed so long in front of him. He was grounded yet again to reality, his fingers gripping tightly onto the steering wheel.

Jaehwan finally turned to look at his friend. The stare lasted for a couple seconds before he finally nodded. “Yes.” He then returned his gaze back to the window.

“Hey,” Minhyun said, rather desperate to change the topic. “Instead of thinking about that, why don’t we go over the information of our client again?”

“Ah, yes.” Jaehwan tore his eyes away from the sea and opened the folder in his hands. For the next couple seconds, the rustling sound of papers filled the car.

“And for heaven’s sake,” Minhyun muttered. “Take your shoes off if you’re going to sit like that. You’re going to get the seat dirty.”

“Yup, hyung.” Jaehwan didn’t make any move of slipping off his footwear though.

Kim Jaehwan was a fully grown 24-year-old man but still acted like a little brat. 

“This is like the hundredth time I told you,” Minhyun said, though he knew it was pointless.

“Yup. Make that a hundred and one.”

“Ugh.” 

“Aaaand, here’s the file.”

Minhyun shot Jaehwan a quick but deadly glare before turning back to the road.

“Kang Daniel,” Jaehwan said, his voice loud and clear. “Currently 65 years old. Parents died when he was still a kid. No close living relatives to adopt him. He was eventually adopted at the age of ten by the CEO of an entertainment agency when the CEO realized Daniel’s star potential.”

Minhyun nodded, the information still fresh in his mind. “Occupations?” he asked, though he still remembered since Jaehwan had read the file to him last night.

Jaehwan cleared his throat before continuing. “Daniel was an idol in his 20’s. Took a two-year long hiatus once due to personal reasons. Later worked as an actor and dance choreographer until he finally retired in his 50’s.” Jaehwan paused for a bit. “Hyung...”

“Yes?”

“Kang Daniel was really popular back in the days. Even now, his name is still really well known.” Jaehwan seemed lost in thought. “I wonder why someone like him is out here, living somewhere so isolated from the world that adored him so much.”

“Maybe he needed some time alone,” Minhyun said, though he himself was curious.

“He’s been living at a small house by the sea...” Jaehwan said. “Ever since he was 60.”

“So he’s been living there for five years.”

“Not by himself, though. He has a friend looking after him.” Jaehwan looked at the documents again. “A man named Yoon Jisung is always there to take care of him.”

Minhyun nodded again. “This Yoon Jisung sounds like a nice person.”

“He does,” Jaehwan agreed. “We’ll be meeting him and Daniel when we get there. At that small house by the sea.”

“Yeah... Keep going.”

The younger of the two turned to the next page. “Kang Daniel was married,” he said, “to Ong Seongwoo.”

“Ong,” Minhyun echoed. “That’s such a rare name.”

“It is, indeed.”

“Seongwoo was an actor, right? And a model too.”

“Yup,” Jaehwan confirmed. “He was a handsome, popular fellow. I watched one of his old films a couple days ago. You know, for research.”

A light laugh escaped Minhyun’s lips. “Are you sure you didn’t watch it because you thought he was hot?”

“Oh, hyung. Are you jealous?”

“Shut up, Kim Jaehwan.”

“Moving on.”

“And no, I am not jealous.”

_“Moving on.”_

Minhyun rolled his eyes, though he felt his cheeks burning.

Jaehwan continued as if nothing happened. “They were married when Daniel was in his early 30’s. Oh, Seongwoo was also in his early 30’s.” He let out a hum. “Seongwoo’s a year older than Daniel. They’re only a year apart. They were happily married.”

"Just like us," Minhyun said. There was an awkward pause when he realized how his words must have sounded. "Er, I mean about me being older than you by a year. Not the part about being married."

"Um, okay."

"Continue reading."

Seconds passed as Jaehwan's eyes skimmed over the paper in his hand. "And now to the really sad bit,” he said, voice heavy.

Minhyun sighed. He remembered the silence that filled the room when they read the documents last night. He remembered the fragile look on his friend’s face, how he had leaned over to give Jaehwan a comforting pat on the shoulder.

“Ten years ago,” Minhyun said gently, “Ong Seongwoo passed away.”

“Yes.” The younger man's voice was so faint that his friend could barely hear him. “They didn’t have any kids.”

Just like how the silence filled his and Jaehwan’s shared room last night, it filled the car again. The silence was heavy, suffocating the both of them. In the distance, they heard the faint sound of the crashing waves below.

“I guess,” Jaehwan finally said, “we’ll be seeing a lot of Seongwoo in Daniel’s memories. We might even interact with him.”

“We’ll only interact with him if it’s necessary.”

“Yes, of course. It’s just... so weird to talk to people who are actually already dead."

Minhyun shook his head. “Just entering a person’s memory is weird.”

“You’re right, hyung. Entering a person’s memory and altering things happening in it is just as weird.”

“But it’s our job.”

“Yes. We'll be seeing a younger Kang Daniel. We'll see him in his 60's, 50's, 40's, 30's... Heck, we'll see him when he's around our age too." Jaehwan could imagine what would happen next. "And we'll even see Daniel as a kid. We'll probably interact with him quite a lot.”

“And Kang Daniel’s wish...” Minhyun said, his voice hanging in the empty air. “The wish that we’ll help him fulfill.”

Jaehwan blinked as if being pulled out of a daze. He glanced at the paper in his hands again, though of course that was unnecessary. There was no way he’d forget Kang Daniel’s wish. It was impossible to forget something so out of the ordinary— something so bizarre and dreamlike.

“To the moon,” Jaehwan said. He looked out the window, eyes fixed on the glowing bright orb that hung high in the sky. “Kang Daniel’s final wish is to go to the moon."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be one painful journey and I don't know why I do this :(


	2. a small house by the sea

 

Crashing waves. Green scenery. White sand that slightly glowed under the moonlight. The undeniable, strong scent of salt water.

And a small house by the sea.

This was the sight that greeted Minhyun and Jaehwan as they finally reached their destination— after hours and _hours_ of driving.

The two doctors, still seated in the company car, let their eyes roam around the view in front of them. 

After realizing that there was no proper parking lot, they had parked the car as near as they could to the house— which was still quite far. Minhyun had gripped unsurely on the steering wheel as he stopped the vehicle near the road, on a flat space of grass. It felt awkward and unsafe, but he didn’t see any other available option. Plus, there was another car parked there as well (“Probably Daniel’s,” Jaehwan had commented).

They were no longer near cliffs. As they drove, the cliffs were replaced by short green hills, stretching far in all directions, grass painted black in the darkness. In front of them, the hill descended until it met sand, and the sand finally touched the sea.

Kang Daniel’s house was built dangerously close to the waters. Jaehwan saw Minhyun shiver a little.

The scenery was as isolated as they imagined it would be. There were no other houses (or _people—_  in that matter) in sight, no matter how hard they looked. The only light came from the moon and stars, and the windows of Daniel’s two-story home.

They couldn’t exactly see the details of the house since it was still quite far.

“Kang Daniel lives here?” Jaehwan asked.

“Apparently yes,” Minhyun answered, voiced laced with uncertainty.

“In the middle of nowhere?”

“Well, it looks like he has his own generator running. So he has electricity at least.”

Jaehwan added, “And some sort of phone signal, since he was able to call Sigmund Corp.”

“Yup.”

“But still, _the middle of nowhere._ ”

“Like I said. Maybe he needed space.”

“This is a lot of space, though.”

Minhyun was about to make another remark when he realized that Jaehwan was combing his hair. He let out a small whistle. “Wow, I didn’t even have to remind you to tidy up this time.”

The younger doctor looked unfazed as he stared seriously at his reflection in the dark window. “We’re meeting a celebrity, hyung. I want to look good.”

“And you can’t be like that at home?”

“You’re not a celebrity.”

“The back is still a mess,” Minhyun said. He waited while Jaehwan attempted and failed to flatten out the mentioned part. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the comb. “Come here.”

Jaehwan stayed still as a statue while the older doctor leaned over and did his work. A few seconds later and Minhyun finally got the chaos that was Kim Jaehwan’s hair (decently) under control.

“Your bangs are getting too long,” Minhyun muttered, slipping the comb back in the glove compartment. “They’ll get in your eyes and everything.” He unbuckled his seatbelt. “Come on, it’s time to meet him.”

Jaehwan did the same and flung open his door, a smile plastered on his face. “Let’s go, let’s go!”

The smile melted when Minhyun spoke again.

“It’s your turn to carry the equipment.”

Jaehwan groaned loudly.

“I carried it last time, so it’s your turn.” Minhyun smirked and exited the car, stuffing the keys in the pocket of his lab coat. He tried not to shiver again as the cool wind hit him. It was the middle of autumn, after all.

“But, hyuuuung, it’s heavyyyy.”

“Which is why we’re taking turns.”

The groaning intensified.

Minhyun watched as Jaehwan, mumbling under his breath, opened the car trunk and lifted a large metallic suitcase from it. It looked even larger in the younger man’s small arms.

“Don’t kill me if I drop this,” Jaehwan said menacingly.

“The one that’ll kill you is the director, not me.” Minhyun automatically locked the doors and began walking towards the house, giving Jaehwan another smirk over his shoulder. “Come on.”

“Damnit, hyung.”

And Jaehwan followed, lugging the large object in his feeble grasp.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It took them a full five minutes to reach the house. Their feet trudged over the comfortable gravel of the road before touching the soft and not-so-comfortable grass of the hill.

Not-so-comfortable as in Jaehwan nearly tripped at least a dozen times on the uneven ground.

(Minhyun kept his patience because it was dark and they could barely see anything).

It felt like a blessing to finally stand at Kang Daniel’s porch. The sound of the sea was even louder where they stood. As Minhyun knocked on the door, Jaehwan attempted to get his breath back, carefully placing the suitcase on the floor.

It was a small house— a cottage, perhaps. Built out of unpainted bricks, Daniel’s home stood two stories high.  Thin wisps of smoke slowly poured out of a chimney at the top, and square windows were seen on all sides of the wall. The wooden porch itself was quite small, decorated with two chairs and a petite table that looked like it had seen too many winters. Minhyun could imagine Kang Daniel and Yoon Jisung sitting on those chairs, staring at the sea during sunsets.

“No answer,” Jaehwan said between breaths.

“Yeah.” Minhyun was about to knock again when the door suddenly flung open, revealing a young, short man with a bright smile.

The man, holding a clipboard in one hand, was also wearing a white lab coat. His voice was just as bright as he said, “You must be the doctors from Sigmund Corp.”

“Yes. It’s nice to meet you.” Minhyun also pulled on a polite smile. “My name is Hwang Minhyun and this is my partner, Kim Jaehwan.”

Still tired, Jaehwan wheezed in response.

“Nice to meet you two.” The man grinned as he clutched the clipboard to his chest. “I’m Kang Daniel’s doctor, Ha Sungwoon.”

“You look a little too young to be a medical doctor,” Jaehwan commented, somehow having regained his strength.

Sungwoon let out a laugh that sounded suspiciously like Spongebob Squarepants. He didn’t appear offended though. “I’m sure that I’m years older than you, kid.”

Jaehwan blinked. “Really? How old are you?”

The shortest doctor leaned over and whispered in Jaehwan’s ear. The latter’s eyes grew large, stepping back in disbelief.

“No way,” Jaehwan breathed.

With a wink, Sungwoon nodded.

“B-But you don’t look that old.” Shocked, Jaehwan looked him up and down. “So you’re my _hyung?”_

“That’s right, kid.”

“Oh my gosh.”

“Anyways,” Minhyun cut in, clearing his throat rather loudly. “I think we should start.”

“Yes, of course.” Sungwoon glanced at his watch. “It’s now 8:11 PM.” Suddenly the bright smile disappeared from his face, replaced by a serious expression. “I think it’s best for you guys to meet Jisung first before I explain Daniel’s current condition. Come on in.”

The minute they stepped into the house, their cold bodies were instantly warmed by the blaze of the fireplace (a _real and authentic fireplace!)_ located at one end of the room.

Minhyun took in his surroundings quickly. They were in a pleasantly cozy living room. In front of the fireplace were three comfortable-looking couches, with a table placed in between. A basket of what appeared to be pink peaches lay on the table. At each corner of the room was a tall lamp, illuminating the room in an orange glow.

He saw two other doors— probably the kitchen and bathroom.

“Daniel is upstairs in his room,” Sungwoon said quietly. “Jisung is looking after him. He’s really looking forward to meeting you two.”

And they followed him up the wooden stairs. During the ascent, Minhyun saw framed photographs on the wall.

He recognized Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo from their younger days. The first photo was of them in formal suits, holding hands and smiling as they faced each other. Minhyun saw the glint of the wedding ring that they each wore on their finger.

The next frame displayed an older version of Seongwoo. The gray was evident in his hair as he appeared to be walking in a park, surrounding by the orange and yellow of autumn trees. He was grinning fondly at the camera, and Minhyun could easily guess who was taking the photo.

The third photo was of the sea. It was the exact same scenery that had greeted Minhyun and Jaehwan a few minutes ago. The striking difference was that Kang Daniel’s house wasn’t in the picture. It wasn’t surprising though. According to the documents provided by Sigmund Corp, the house was built only six years ago.

Minhyun looked over his shoulder to see Jaehwan struggling to make it up the stairs, suitcase still in his hold.

“You okay?” Minhyun asked, brow furrowed in concern.

“Yup, never better.” Jaehwan looked to his right, seeing the photographs as well. “They looked really happy.”

“Yes, they did.” Minhyun suddenly halted and held out his hand. “Here, I’ll help you carry that.”

Jaehwan let out a groan of relief. “Hyung, have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Just give me the damn suitcase before I change my mind.”

“Okay, okay.”

They continued climbing the stairs, Minhyun now lugging Sigmund Corp’s heavy equipment. There were more photographs that he didn’t see, having to focus instead on making sure he didn’t trip and fall on his face (or worse, damage the thousands of dollars' worth of equipment).

The second floor revealed a small hallway with two doors, one of them being slightly open.

Sungwoon nudged open the slightly open door. “The Sigmund Corp doctors are here,” he said softly.

There was a rustling noise and an elderly man appeared from the room. He swung the door open and grinned widely, his eyes shaped like crescents. With fluffy gray hair and wearing a wool sweater, he gave off a noticeable friendly vibe.

“Ah,” the man said, his voice gentle and rather soothing. “Dr. Hwang and Dr. Kim, right?”

At the confused look on both Minhyun and Jaehwan’s faces, the elderly man chuckled. “Voices carry very easily here. I heard your conversation downstairs. You mind if I call you Dr. Hwang and Dr. Kim?”

“Of course not,” Minhyun said with a smile. He slowly set down the suitcase, feeling the strength slowly return to his arms.

The man then introduced himself. “I’m Yoon Jisung. Pleased to meet you.” He then let out another chuckle. “I’d be even more pleased if you two simply call me ‘Jisung-hyung.’”

Jaehwan was grinning widely, already growing fond of this Yoon Jisung already. Of course it was more than weird to address a man probably three times his age like that, but who was he to refuse? “Okay, Jisung-hyung.”

Jisung seemed to radiate happiness. “I feel younger already.” With a final eye-smile, he walked back into the room. “Come in and meet Daniel.”

_Meeting_ probably wasn’t the right word.

Already finished previous jobs at Sigmund Corp, both Minhyun and Jaehwan grew familiar with the sound of a cardiac monitor. It greeted them every single time they first met their client.

Kang Daniel was no exception.

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

It felt like all the smiles and small laughs were sucked out of the room. Silence filled the air. An achingly delicate silence.

Jaehwan was the first to speak.

“How long has he been unconscious?”

His voice was soft, as if treading carefully on ice. It was the complete opposite of the Jaehwan that Minhyun was used to.

When Jisung answered, it felt like the bright man they had met merely seconds ago suddenly disappeared. “Since this afternoon. Daniel was outside, looking at the sea.” He stopped, breathing slowly. He continued with a shaky voice. “I was making dinner. I went out to call to him, but he was already lying on the ground by then.”

“His condition was fine these past few months,” Sungwoon said. “No one expected his illness to suddenly return suddenly like that. But he’s still holding on. He’s a strong fellow and his condition is stable at this very moment. But...” He then lowered his head, staring at the ground. “He doesn’t have much time left. Probably until the morning.”

Jisung nodded, his face unreadable.

“Here. I know you guys will need this.” Sungwoon pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to the Sigmund Corp doctors. “A portable heart monitor. It’ll keep you updated on Daniel’s condition.”

“Thank you,” Jaehwan said. He took the monitor in his hand, eyes glued to the line curving and moving in steady patterns. His eyes were solemn, as if thinking of the fact that hours from now, the line would cease to move.

Minhyun remembered receiving Kang Daniel’s documents yesterday evening. He and Jaehwan had pored over the papers meticulously throughout the night. Experience had taught them to always be ready to spring into action, anytime and anywhere— that the call to execute the procedure on a client could come days later, or perhaps the next day, or perhaps even _hours_ after receiving the documents. In Kang Daniel’s case, it was the next day.

A few hours ago (5 PM, to be exact), a Sigmund Corp staff had informed them that they would perform the procedure on Kang Daniel _that very night_ , as his condition suddenly changed from steady to worse to critical. So Minhyun and Jaehwan quickly threw on their lab coats and hopped in the car, leaving the city as quickly as they could.

And they now stood in front of Kang Daniel’s bed, looking at Kang Daniel himself.

Even though age has changed his face, he really wasn’t that different. It was like the young Daniel that Minhyun saw on television, but with white hair and wrinkles.

Yet there were more differences.

Daniel’s eyes were closed, and the exhaustion was clear on his features— as if the years had gotten to him too roughly and too quickly. The shadows under his eyes were prominent, and so were his slightly sunken cheeks. His plain white shirt was the only thing that Minhyun could see, since a blanket covered the lower half of Daniel’s body.

Minhyun’s gaze then roamed around the various hospital equipment that he had tried getting used to but never could.

Then he looked around the room, which was bathed in a warm glow from the small ceiling lights. The bed was located next to a large window overlooking the sea. With the curtains pulled back, Minhyun could see the full moon from it. At another end of the room stood a wardrobe and desk, with another basket of peaches placed on top.

In the middle of the room was a table with chairs on each side. Behind the table was a black couch, small pillows scattered all over it.

Just like the living room, the floor was also adorned with a carpet. With its soft texture and warm colors, it gave off the same cozy and comfortable vibe— but cozy and comfortable were the last things that Minhyun could feel at the moment.

And the same noise continued to fill his ears.

_Beep._

_Beep._

“Jisung-hyung,” Minhyun suddenly said, turning to the elderly man. “Do you mind if we ask you some questions?”

“Ask away,” Jisung answered.

“Why does Kang Daniel want to go to the moon?”

It was standard procedure for Sigmund Corp doctors to ask the people closest to their clients— or _patients_ , as some would call— questions that might provide any key information. Of course they would be able to ask the client themselves in the memories, but another person’s view could be just as vital.

Jisung let out a sigh. “I... I really don’t know. I tried asking him before but he would just shrug in response.”

“I see. How about his two-year hiatus when he was an idol?”

Another sigh. “He said that he just needed to take a break from the busy schedules... And he needed time to sort some things out.”

Minhyun furrowed his brow. “‘ _Some’_ things?”

“He wouldn’t tell me about that either.” The look on Jisung’s face showed how upset he was that Daniel kept information from him. He then turned to stare at his unconscious friend on the bed. “It was a worrying two years for me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Minhyun said, and he meant it. He paused for a couple seconds. “Could you tell us a little about his relationship with Ong Seongwoo?”

“Ah.” Jisung’s eyes lit up, as if remembering a fond memory. “First of all, you boys should know that Daniel and I have known each other for a long, long time. Through the years, I’ve seen him grow up.” He smiled. “I’m only five years older than Daniel, but... I look at him as if he’s a child that I raised. As if he was my own child.” A warm chuckle escaped his lips. “It also doesn’t help that he calls me ‘mom’.”

Jaehwan couldn’t help but smile back.

Jisung continued. “Just like any protective mother, I was worried when he told me that he had fallen in love. He called me one day, telling me about a certain Ong Seongwoo that caught his attention.” Jisung’s voice was tinted with fondness. “I was worried. Daniel dating someone has always been something I fussed about. I was worried if someone took advantage of him because he was rich, or because of his fame... But...”

A pause.

“Seongwoo truly and genuinely loved Daniel as a person.” Jisung smiled. “He truly did. Can you believe that Daniel even asked for my blessing to start dating him?”

Minhyun tried not to notice how tears had started to form in the corner of Yoon Jisung’s eyes.

“They made each other very happy,” the elderly man said. “I was always thankful that Seongwoo made my little Daniel happy.” His voice started to shake. “When Seongwoo passed away, you can imagine how hard it was for Daniel. Daniel already reserved a spot to be buried next to Seongwoo’s grave for when he...” Jisung trailed off, and the doctors didn’t need him to finish the sentence.

_When he passes away as well._

Another silence filled the entire room. From where he stood, Minhyun could see Sungwoon moving to stand in front of Daniel’s cardiac monitor, could see Jaehwan looking at Jisung with a concerned face.

Then Jaehwan put a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, giving it a little comforting squeeze.

The elderly man nodded in response. “I’m glad you boys are here. Technology is an amazing thing, isn’t it? Thankfully, you two are using it for a good cause.” He sighed. “Lately I heard that people have been using it for bad things.”

Jaehwan attempted to smile back. “Yes. A good cause.” There was tenseness in his voice that only his work partner recognized. He then turned to Minhyun.

Minhyun nodded. “Jisung-hyung, do you mind if Jaehwan and I look around the house for a bit? It’s to get to know our patients a little more before we start the procedure. Don’t worry, we won’t go into rooms you don’t want us to.”

“Not at all.” Jisung wiped his eyes with a hand. “You’re free to go anywhere, even the kitchen and my room.”

“Thank you,” Minhyun replied. He then locked eyes with his partner. “Let’s go, Jaehwan.”

The first room they explored was Jisung’s. It looked exactly the same with Daniel’s, except with a table full of photographs. In many of the photographs were the young Daniel, Seongwoo, and Jisung himself. At the wall was a window with its curtains drawn.

They then went downstairs, carefully looking at the framed photographs as they passed. It was more pictures of the couple, some with cats in them.

“Oh!” Jaehwan pointed at one particular frame.  “Here’s a screenshot of Daniel’s music video where Seongwoo starred in.”

Minhyun wondered just how much research Jaehwan did last night. “So Seongwoo was a model for Daniel’s music video?”

“Yup,” his friend replied. “It was where they first met. Daniel talked about it during one of his interviews.”

“Cute.”

It didn’t take long to explore the remaining rooms. The living room was just as Minhyun had seen when he first entered the house, and the kitchen and bathroom provided no extra information as well. They even went outside and circled around the house. But it was just that— normal bricks, normal windows, a normal roof and a normal chimney.

In short, it was a very simple and humble abode.

“Well, I guess that’s it,” Jaehwan finally concluded, the cold wind blowing at his hair. He glanced at his watch. “8:42 PM. It only took us ten minutes to explore the whole thing.”

Minhyun sighed. “I guess we’ll have to depend on what we see in the memories.”

“It’s okay. We always find a way anyways.”

They ducked into the warmth of the house and trudged up the stairs again. Before reentering Daniel’s room, Minhyun grabbed the suitcase that he had left outside the door.

Sungwoon was still in front of the monitor and Jisung was seated on a chair beside Daniel’s bed. The elderly man looked up when the two doctors appeared.

“Jisung-hyung,” Minhyun said. “Jaehwan and I will start the procedure now.”

Jisung nodded. “Please do.” His hand was wrapped around Daniel’s as he locked eyes with both of the doctors— one by one. “Please make Daniel smile again.”

“We will.” The sincerity in Jaehwan’s voice was evident.

“We’ll do our very best,” Minhyun promised. The older doctor then gently set the suitcase on the floor near the table, unlocking the safety measures. With skilled hands, he began preparing the equipment.

The Sigmund Corp machine was really something. It consisted of three sleek, gray helmets and what appeared to be a complex, large rectangle-shaped hunk of metal. He grabbed one of the helmets and handed it to Jaehwan, who wordlessly walked over to the bed.

Minhyun then pulled out the rectangular-shaped metal and placed it on the table. A few seconds passed as he unfolded and set the parts. The finished result was an object that looked quite like a laptop but with three screens (one in the middle, and two on each side). He massaged his hands before he took a seat in front of the machine.

“Excuse me,” Jaehwan said to Daniel, though of course the latter couldn’t hear him. “I’m going to put the helmet on you now.” And that was what the young doctor did. He slowly and carefully slid the helmet over Daniel’s head, making sure that it was secure as he did so. A soft _beep_ sounded as Jaehwan pressed a button on the side of the helmet. He then returned to Minhyun’s side.

“Kang Daniel is connected,” Jaehwan informed him.

The older doctor’s eyes were fixed on one of the screens, fingers flying over the machine’s keyboard. Jaehwan grabbed another helmet from the table and waited patiently for his partner to punch in the final codes.

“Okay,” Minhyun finally said. He turned to his friend. “You ready?”

Jaehwan nodded, determination etched all over his face. The two doctors turned to Jisung and Sungwoon, who also nodded in response.

“Good luck, boys,” Sungwoon said.

Jisung said nothing, but his eyes said everything.

Minhyun turned back to the screens as Jaehwan took a seat on the couch behind him. He heard a faint _beep_ as the younger doctor activated his helmet.

It was Minhyun’s turn. He grabbed the last helmet from the suitcase and slipped it over his head.  His fingers used to shake the first few times he did this, but they were steady now. He had gotten accustomed to the job. Pressing a familiar button, a louder _beep_ echoed in his ears.

Then he closed his eyes.

“Jaehwan,” Minhyun said. “Here we go.”

The helmet covered his ears, so his friend’s reply came muffled. Yet it was clear to him.

“See you there, hyung.”

At this stage of the procedure, the machine was voice-activated. Minhyun took a deep breath before saying the word that would send him and Jaehwan deep into the depths of Kang Daniel’s memories.

_“Initiate.”_

His eyes were closed, but a familiar blinding white light filled Minhyun’s vision, becoming brighter and brighter till it engulfed him.

Then everything went black.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend drew ToTheMoon!Minhwan and I cry → [ click and cry with me ](https://drive.google.com/file/d/16hTND81Kdxchg4ZX60GlwoOn-HuFYF0p/view)
> 
>  
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> ______
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> The way I imagine Daniel’s house is more or less like this:
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> But for the location (the hills, sand, and sea + the distance between the house and sea), is more like this:
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> Yup.
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> ______
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> I’ll try to update faster. I have the whole plotline written out so all I have to do is write the chapters :) Thanks for reading ❤


	3. the horizon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

 

 **_ SIGMUND TIMELINE:  
_ ** **_ Kang Daniel – 65 years old _ **

 

  

Dark. Everything was dark.

Jumping into the first memory was like being plunged into a deep sea. A doctor’s body would feel weightless as a feather. Sort of just floating— touching, hearing, and seeing nothing.

That was how Minhyun felt. He had gotten used to it though. This was his eleventh job, after all.

Soon, a light started to fill his vision. It started off gray, growing brighter and brighter by the second until everything was covered in a blinding white.

And the white slowly faded away, revealing the interior of a very familiar house.

It took Minhyun five seconds for his eyes to begin adjusting. Not just his eyes, but also his other senses. The scent of peaches and burnt wood hung in the air, and he let his hand roam over the fabric of the sofa next to him. It felt soft in his fingers.

A familiar voice also confirmed that his hearing had returned.

“Hyung.”

Minhyun turned around to see Jaehwan standing behind him. The shorter doctor had a hand covered in the sleeve of his lab coat, using it to wipe his eyes. It was sort of cute, if Minhyun had to admit— as if Jaehwan was just waking up from a nap back at their shared apartment.

But of course, it was just the after-effect of entering the first memory. Disorientation was common.

“Take your time,” the older doctor said. “Everything’s still a bit blurry for me too.”

Jaehwan nodded, blinking as he looked around. He rubbed at the silver contraption that was now wrapped around his wrist— a small object in the shape and size of a watch. It had appeared once they entered the memory, not only on Jaehwan but on Minhyun too. They were also no longer wearing helmets.

They were in Kang Daniel’s living room. It was exactly how they had seen it a couple minutes ago— the same furniture, the same sound of wood crackling in the fireplace, the same everything.

The difference was a soft humming from the kitchen. Minhyun recognized it as Jisung’s voice. There was also the faint sound of sizzling oil over a stove.

That was how things were during that one memory. But outside the memory, in the real world and the real time, Hwang Minhyun and Kim Jaehwan were still wearing the Sigmund Corp helmets, both leaning back in their separate chairs with their eyes closed. Kang Daniel was still lying in his bed, the same helmet over his head. And in the same bedroom were Jisung and Sungwoon, watching over the doctors and Daniel with heavy hearts.

But if Jaehwan and Minhyun were to go upstairs to that same bedroom in the memory, it would be empty. Their client's head would also be helmet-free.

“This should be the last accessible memory,” Jaehwan said to his friend. “A memory from yesterday. Jisung-hyung is cooking in the kitchen. So Kang Daniel should be outside right now.”

“Yup. Let’s go.”

Of course it would have been awkward and rather concerning if Jisung had heard them talking and mistook them as intruders. That would’ve caused a ruckus. But they didn’t need to worry about even the risk of being caught in the living room.

Minhyun had made sure that the default settings for when they entered a memory would be _zero visibility and zero audio._ This setting allowed them to appear invisible and also muted their voices to the people residing in the memories. Of course, the doctors were still able to see and hear each other.

Once they stepped out of the house, they saw Daniel standing near the sea, staring at the horizon and the completely gray sky. His back turned to them, they couldn't see his face. He wore a simple white T-shirt and simple blue pants, the water lapping at his shoes.

Minhyun and Jaehwan strode towards their client. The wind was a gentle breeze, blowing at their hair and clothes.

Finally they stopped and stood a couple meters behind Daniel. They didn’t want to be too close for when they revealed themselves, in fear that they would surprise their client too much.

Minhyun stared at the back of Daniel’s head, wondering how the elderly man must have felt during that moment. Then he turned to Jaehwan, who gave him a little nod.

The younger doctor pressed a button on his wristwatch. "Visibility and audio on,” he said softly. Five seconds passed before he cleared his throat. “Excuse me.”

And just like that, Daniel was able to see and hear them. The elderly man flinched visibly and whirled around, his eyes wide.

“S-Sorry!” Jaehwan said quickly. “We didn’t mean to scare you—”

Daniel seemed to suck in a couple deep breaths, as if calming himself down. “It’s— It’s okay,” he finally said, voice still shaky. “And who might you two boys be?” He sounded just like how Minhyun remembered on television— deep and husky, but this time with fragility and less energy.

It wasn’t just the voice that gave off a feeling of fatigue. Kang Daniel simply looked very _very_ exhausted. In the real world, the dark bedroom had masked the details of his face. Now, in the gloomy and faint daylight, his sunken cheeks and dark eye circles became even more prominent. 

And there was something in his gaze that made the doctors want to step back. 

It was that same fragility— something that seemed _so_ easy to break if they weren’t being extra careful and extra cautious. Not only fragility, but also a vulnerability.

Jaehwan seemed to be treading carefully on his words as he said, “I’m Kim Jaehwan and this is my partner Hwang Minhyun.”

“Partner?” Daniel asked, looking at the both of them. A small smile then made its way onto his face. It seemed as if the sky grew brighter with that smile. “Ah, it must be nice to be young and in love.”

It took Jaehwan three full seconds to process the words. The young doctor nearly choked as he spluttered, “Wh-what?! No, I mean… _work_ partner.”

Daniel blinked. “Oh. Sorry about that, then.”

“It’s o-okay,” Jaehwan said, stuttering.

Minhyun tried to ignore his own heart banging violently against his chest.

“I’m Daniel,” the elderly man said, flashing an eye smile. “What brings you two to these parts? Not many people come to the beach in this area.”

It was time for the mandatory introduction.

“Are you familiar with the Sigmund Agency of Life Generation?” Minhyun asked.

The smile slowly disappeared from Daniel’s face. “Yes, I am,” he said. “Oh, you two are from Sigmund Corp? I was wondering why you’re both wearing lab coats.” He then paused, and the soft sound of waves crashing filled in the silence. “I contacted Sigmund Corp a couple days ago, but… they said that the doctors would come to perform the memory procedure once I was…” Another pause, and it was heavier than the one before. “…once I was on my death bed.”

 _Here goes,_ Minhyun thought. He hated this part of the job— having to drop the news on the client.

Jaehwan took a few steps forward, slowly. His voice as gentle as ever, he began, “I’m sorry to say this—”

Daniel caught on quickly. A realization passed over his eyes, and a small, sad smile made its way on his face. “Ah. I see. I’m already on my death bed and we’re in my memory, right?”

Silently, Jaehwan nodded.

Clients had many ways of reacting to the news. The two doctors had encountered a variety of people in their previous jobs. There was the type to deny everything, the type to break down and sob, the type to be calm and accepting, and many more.

Kang Daniel was one of the calm and accepting types.

“Well then.” The elderly man turned to look at the sea again. The same smile still lingered on his lips. “I guess I lived a good life.”

Jaehwan gave another nod. “We’re here to fulfill your last wish.”

“To go to the moon,” Daniel said. He was looking straight at them now, eyes no longer on the horizon.

“Yes,” Minhyun answered. “But before that, can we ask _why_ you want to go to the moon?”

“I…” the elderly man began. He then scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I’m sorry that this might frustrate you boys, but…”

The doctors waited.

“I don’t know,” Daniel finished.

Everything was so silent that Minhyun was sure he could hear a pin drop.

“I really don’t know,” Daniel continued. “I just… feel like I should go there. I’m not even sure when I started wanting to go to the moon, but… I need to go there.” Another pause. “I _have_ to go there.”

Jaehwan nodded. “And you _will._ But we need a motive. The reason why you want to go there. Are you sure nothing comes to mind when you thought of going to the moon?”

“I’m really sorry but… Nothing. Nothing does. But the feeling is there.” Daniel then took a step towards them, this time surprising the younger doctor. “Can’t you guys just take me there? To the moon? Is a motive necessary when I already know what my wish is?”

“We’re sorry. It doesn’t work that way,” Minhyun said. “But yes, it’s necessary. Because we’re not the ones that will take you to the moon. The one that will take you to the moon is yourself.”

Confusion made its way onto Daniel’s face. The doctor continued quickly.

“We’re only here to help. But the one that’s striving to fulfill the wish is _you._ ” Minhyun tried to put on an encouraging smile. “It has to come from you. The _past you_ would reach for the wish— doing whatever means necessary to fulfill it. And you _will_ reach it. But to do that, you need a drive— a motive.”

“I… I see,” Daniel said slowly.

“Which is why your motive for going to the moon is essential,” Jaehwan said. “But if you really don’t know, that’s okay. We can help you find it.”

Daniel gave a nod.

“Yes.” Minhyun then tried to speak as clearly as he could. The mechanisms of the Sigmund Corp machine were not to be taken lightly. “What we’ll do now is travel backwards through your memories. Somewhere in there, Jaehwan and I will uncover the reason— or the motive— of why you want to go to the moon. That discovered motive will then be your drive to fulfill the wish.” He paused for a bit, letting the information sink in before continuing.

“Hmm… to be an astronaut, then?” Daniel asked.

“That makes sense,” Jaehwan said. “It’s the only plausible way of going to the moon. Did you want to be an astronaut before?”

Daniel shook his head. “Never thought about it, actually.”

“That’s alright.”

“We can’t go straight to your childhood,” Minhyun said. “That’s impossible. Instead, we’ll take gradual backward leaps through your timeline. Starting from here.”

“Alright.” Daniel clasped his hands together. “Sounds good.”

“To take the leaps, we’ll need something called _mementos._ ” This time it was Jaehwan doing the explanations. “Objects that are important to you. A precious belonging— something you’ve had for a long time.”

“Oh!” Daniel’s hand flew to a necklace that he wore around his neck. He slowly and carefully took it off. “I have this. Here.”

Jaehwan carefully took the necklace and examined it. It was a simple, thin chain necklace with a small seashell attached to it. The seashell was quite a unique color— a shocking, bright pink.

“I’ve had it for five years,” Daniel added.

Wondering how one seashell differentiated from the other thousands of shells spread across the beach, Minhyun nodded. “Thank you. We can begin the time leap now.”

“W—Wait,” Daniel suddenly said. “That necklace… Can you give it to Jisung-hyung? The real necklace. In the real world, I mean.” His eyes glanced at the small house. “Right now, at this very moment, in this memory, in that house… Jisung-hyung’s cooking dinner. But…” Voice slightly shaking, he continued. “But in the real world…?” He trailed off, his gaze becoming distant.    

“He’s by your side,” Jaehwan finished quietly.

Daniel nodded, as if he already knew the answer. “Sungwoon too?”

“Yes. Sungwoon-hyung too.”

Daniel bit his lip, trying to keep himself steady. “Okay.” He then took a deep breath, turning towards the doctors. “Okay, I’m ready now.”

“Okay.” Jaehwan held tightly onto the necklace as he pressed a few buttons on his wristwatch. “Here we go.”

As Minhyun waited for his partner to prepare the memento, he stared at the sea. So this was the view that was engraved in Kang Daniel’s mind before unconsciousness took over him. Before Yoon Jisung would come running out of the house, desperately calling his friend's name—

“It’s ready,” Jaehwan said, gratefully interrupting Minhyun's thoughts.

“Alright.” Without allowing himself to think anymore, Minhyun wrapped his fingers around the necklace that Jaehwan held, covering his friend’s hand as well. “First memory leap.” He turned to Daniel, who gave them a nod.

“Thank you, boys,” the elderly man said. And he gave them one last eye smile. “Really, thank you.”

 _Don’t thank us yet,_ Minhyun wanted to say, but held himself back. He was confident that they would succeed, but there was always that _small_ possibility that a Sigmund Corp doctor would fail—

Jaehwan cut into his thoughts again. Voice loud and clear as he said, _“Activate memento.”_

And a blinding white light filled Minhyun’s vision again. He saw one last glimpse of Kang Daniel and the sea—

Before the white completely engulfed everything in sight.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the next chapters can be longer :")
> 
> Thanks for reading ❤


	4. comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever you see **♪♪♪** , please click on it! (open in new tab/window). It's music accompaniment for that part of the story! :)  
>  Also, don't forget to turn off autoplay!  
> 

 

 

 

* * *

** [♪♪♪](https://youtu.be/1jXe6XqOV1w) **

* * *

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 60 years old _ **

 

The white light went away, and Minhyun was greeted by a familiar sight.

In fact, it seemed as if they had barely moved. They now stood far away from the seaside, soft grass under their feet.  But it was still the same sight— the same sea, the same house, the same gray sky.

Yet, there was a difference. A striking difference.

There were _people._ Lots and lots of people.

Kang Daniel’s house had always seemed isolated and far from anything. When the two doctors had first  arrived in their car, there was absolutely no one in sight.

But around them now were men wearing the same simple shirt and the same simple pants— a uniform of some sort. They carried various items and boxes into the house, unpacking and setting things. It felt weird, really, to have the sound of people bustling around and chattering, when Minhyun had grown accustomed to the absolute silence that came with Daniel’s house.

“Hyung, look,” Jaehwan said, pointing at the road in the distance.

Minhyun followed his friend’s finger. He saw a large truck parked on the side of the road, a familiar name of a moving company written in bold letters across the vehicle’s side.

“Must be the first day Daniel moved here,” Jaehwan observed.

“Yeah,” Minhyun answered. One of the workers passed by him, paying no attention to the two doctors wearing white lab coats by the beach.

They were invisible and muted again to the occupants of the memory. But a simple command using their wristwatches would change that, if they wanted.

 _Occupants_ as in the men from the moving company—

And Kang Daniel and Yoon Jisung themselves.

The two elderly men stood a couple meters away from them on a flat patch of grass.  Daniel was brandishing a shovel, scooping up piles of dirt and tossing them to a growing mound by his feet. Next to the mound was what looked like a large pile of green leaves. Jisung was staring at him, brows furrowed in concern.

“The guys from the moving company will be done soon,” Jisung said. “The big stuff like furniture was already moved to the rooms and all. But for the little stuff, it’s still in boxes.”

“That was quick,” Daniel commented, letting out a small grunt as he struck the shovel into the ground again. He had the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, revealing pale arms smudged with dirt.

“You didn’t bring that many things, anyways,” Jisung said.

Daniel grinned, revealing bunny teeth. “You’re right.”

“I’ll help you sort out the small stuff.”

“Aww, thanks hyung.”

“Daniel.”

“Yeah, hyung?”

“I’m telling you, it won’t work.”

The younger man let out a chuckle. “Oh, come on. Have a little faith.”

“I have faith and hope,” Jisung answered. “But growing _peach trees_? Next to the sea? With this wind?” As if on cue, a strong breeze came, blowing at their hair and clothes, and also at the small pile of leaves that barely moved. “It won’t survive in this condition.”

“It will if it’s given love every day.”

“You could just have peaches delivered from the nearby town.”

“Yeah but…” Daniel trailed off as he set down the shovel, wiping his brow with a clean part of his arm. He then bent down and scooped up the pile of leaves— which turned out to be a small bush-like tree. “There’s something different with growing them yourself.”

“I know, but…” Jisung watched as his friend carefully placed the tiny tree in the newly dug hole. Daniel was grinning from ear to ear as he carefully covered its roots with soil. With a small sigh, Jisung pulled on a smile. He couldn’t help it. It was times like these that Daniel shined with a youthful glow. With a childlike glee, he was very endearing to the older man. “Alright. If you say so.”

Daniel couldn’t stop grinning. He stood up again, shaking dirt off his hands.

Jisung then glanced over his shoulder. The movers were still bustling in and out of the house. But more were coming out than in. They would be finished really _really_ soon.

“The house looks really nice,” he finally decided to say.

“Thanks, hyung.”

There was a silence, as if Jisung was pondering whether to continue or not.

He decided to continue.

“Daniel, why do you want to live here?”

The younger man didn’t answer right away, instead choosing to stare at the house as well.

“It’s a nice and calming place but… it’s really far from towns and people.” Jisung turned to look at his friend again. “Last year, you suddenly told me that you were building a house near the sea. I thought _‘oh wow, sea, that’s really cool’._ But I didn’t expect it to be like this.”

“It’s a…” Daniel said, his voice soft. His gaze then drifted to sea, and there it was— a wistful and glazed look in his eyes. “It’s a long story.”

“Long stories are nice.”

“You sure?”

“Have I ever been more sure in my life?”

“Okay, then.” Daniel chuckled. “It was eighteen years ago... Seongwoo, he…”

He paused, like how he would always do whenever he mentioned his late husband’s name. Jisung patiently waited.

“Seongwoo took me on a drive,” Daniel finally said. “Like how he would always do when we were young. When we were young in our 30's, we... we would randomly hop in the car and we’d drive off in random directions. We’d go out of the city, roaming around unfamiliar areas and exploring little towns. Sometimes visiting cafés and coffee shops.” He smiled fondly at the memory. “We were both in our 40's when we randomly hopped into that car again. Seongwoo drove really really far. He told me that he was feeling very adventurous that night. And we came up to that road right there.” Without taking his eyes off the sea, Daniel pointed at the road where the moving truck was still parked. “It was a full moon that night. And the stars were so pretty.”

Jisung nodded, listening carefully and absorbing every word.

“Seongwoo was driving slowly. So from the car, I still had a good glimpse of the sea. I dunno, but the view just looked really really good— the sea and the moon and everything. I wanted to get a closer look at it. So at that moment, I told Seongwoo, ‘stop the car!’.”

“That must have surprised him.”

“He’s gotten used to me suddenly shouting so I’m sure he didn’t mind.”

“And then?”

“So we stopped. Seongwoo parked the car near the road and we just ran towards the sea. It was already late at night too so we couldn’t see the ground that well. We both nearly tripped a dozen times.” Daniel laughed. “We took off our shoes so we could feel the sand and water. It was really really nice.” He stopped, the gaze in his eyes becoming distant. “For the longest time, we just stared at the horizon for a while. And then…”

Jisung waited. More seconds passed.

“…And then we went home,” Daniel finished, and his eyes left the sea, focusing now on the ground underneath his feet. "That was... eighteen years ago."

Jisung bit his lip, as if wanting to ask more. He let out a small sigh and nodded.

When the younger man spoke again, his voice was so quiet that Jisung had to strain his ears to listen.

“I’ve always wanted to come back here. To see that horizon again.” Another pause. “After Seongwoo passed away, the feeling intensified.”

Jisung put a comforting hand on Daniel’s shoulder.

“And so I went back here. After Seongwoo’s funeral, I—” The words caught in his throat. Jisung patted his shoulder comfortingly. “—I drove here. By myself. Hours and hours on the road.”

“So that’s where you went that day,” Jisung said gently. “I’ve always wondered.”

Daniel nodded. “It was so late at night when I made it here. I parked the car, got out, and went to the sea. And I just stared at the view in front of me. And at that moment, the memory hit me full force— of me and Seongwoo at that same spot, years ago.” His gaze left the ground, setting itself on the sea once again. “Then I cried. I just cried and cried and cried and I lost track of time and everything. I don’t know how many hours I was there, but…”

“…But?”

“But I was sure of one thing. Somehow, being by the sea _calmed_ me. _Comforted_ me, even. And when I went back to the city, I kept yearning to return there. Years passed and the feeling never went away. It took some thinking, but I finally decided to have a house built here.”

“And here you are,” Jisung said.

Smiling, Daniel replied, “And here I am.”

“How long do you plan on staying here?”

The silence that followed was enough of an answer. The look on Jisung’s face showed that he knew— that Daniel planned on living by the sea for as long as he lived.

“Thanks for helping me move in, hyung,” the younger man suddenly said. He was looking at Jisung now. “You’re always there for me, and I’m very grateful for that.”

A pause.

“I wanted to give you something as a parting gift— something for you to remember me by.” Daniel dug into the pocket of his pants, taking out a small object for Jisung to see.

It was a small, pink seashell. It looked tiny in the palm of Daniel’s hand.

“I found it when I was walking by the sea today. Remember when I dyed my hair pink?”

Jisung laughed, his eyes glistening. “Yeah.  I was so surprised. You were 21 years old at that time, right? You were running up to me, your hair this shocking pink color, and you were yelling at my face _‘hyung, I’m debuting, hyung I’m debuting!’”_

Daniel let out a giggle. “I must have scared the shit out of you.”

“No kidding. I was really happy for you though. You finally debuted after those years of training.”

“My pink hair was awesome though, right?”

“It did catch a lot of people’s attentions, I’ll tell you that.” As if something just clicked in his brain, Jisung stared at the seashell in Daniel’s hand. “Oh.”

Daniel nodded. “Yup. The shell’s the exact same color as my hair at that time.”

“That’s cute.” Jisung carefully took the shell in his fingers, examining it up close.

“You’ll stay for a couple nights, right? Help me settle in?”

Jisung didn’t answer. Daniel continued, the hope evident in his voice.

“I can call for someone to pick you up when you need to head back to the city. You saw the guest room on the second floor, right? The one next to my room? I can get the guest room ready for you right now—”

“I’m staying.”

Eyes wide and mouth slightly open, Daniel stared at his friend.

“I’m living here with you.” Jisung stared back. “What? How could I leave my child here, all alone, to fend for himself? What if there are bugs? How would Kang Daniel protect himself? He’s only a big baby after all.” Then his face broke out in a big smile. “But he’s my big baby.”

Without any warning, Daniel suddenly threw his arms around his friend, enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug. They nearly toppled over if Jisung hadn’t taken a step back to regain their balance.

Jisung laughed, patting him on the back. “I can’t breathe,” he said jokingly.

“Thanks, mom,” Daniel sniffled, voice muffled as he buried his face in Jisung’s shoulder.

“Since I’m not leaving, there’s no need for any parting gift. This means that the pink seashell is yours.”

“I’ll treasure it forever and ever.”

“Aww.”

Eventually, the two gray-haired men broke apart. Grinning and linking arms, they returned to the house.

 

 

Minhyun and Jaehwan stood next to the newly planted peach tree, their minds churning with all sorts of thoughts. They had listened intently to Daniel and Jisung’s conversation, whilst also paying attention to their facial expressions and body gestures. Anything that might help them decipher Daniel’s motive for his final wish.

The doctors' hearts already felt heavy, and they were just beginning.

“We should get going,” Minhyun said, breaking the silence.

Jaehwan nodded. He glanced down at the small plant that Daniel had placed with gentle hands. “I guess Daniel’s peach trees didn’t make it.”

“Yeah. I didn’t see any of those when we first arrived.”

The younger doctor suddenly crouched down, arms on his knees. He stared intently at the small, fragile peach tree. “Well, little guy. You fought hard.” Jaehwan then noticed a round, tiny fruit on one of the branches. He smiled. “Thanks for giving Daniel a little hope.”

“Come on,” Minhyun said, though he couldn’t help but let a small smile linger on his lips. Jaehwan could get sentimental at times, and this was one of them. “Let’s go.”

And they set off towards the house. Inside, Daniel was fast asleep in front of the fireplace, curled up on one of the couches. Jisung was dozing off in his room. The movers had already finished their job, nowhere in sight.

Minhyun and Jaehwan explored the house, looking for the next memento.

The first memento that they received from Daniel— the small pink shell necklace— had disappeared from their hands the moment they stepped into the memory.  After activation, the necklace had automatically turned into raw data, inputting itself into the Sigmund Corp machine for processing. That data, along with the other mementos that would go through the same process, would serve as a link from memory to memory. The doctors would then be able to perform memory leaps easily from the ones they had already visited.

Now it was time for them to search for the next memento. This time they couldn’t ask Daniel— he didn’t know them yet (and perhaps Sigmund Corp as well) in this part of the timeline.

It wasn’t easy. The memento could really be any object. _Anything_ lying around.

First they checked the living room, not opening any drawers or picking up things. It wasn’t as if they wanted Daniel to think the house was haunted or anything (they were still invisible, after all).

It was a hard feat. All the furniture was set up but most of Kang Daniel’s belongings were still sealed in boxes. There weren’t many of them, but it would still be a hassle to have to search them one by one.

Hoping that the memento was somewhere in plain view, the two doctors trudged upstairs. Minhyun slowly opened the door to Daniel’s room. Jaehwan slipped in, his friend following.

The room was more or less the same as they had seen in the real world. The only difference was the lack of photographs and other little possessions. Minhyun made his way to the window at the far end of the room while Jaehwan opened drawers and rummaged inside.

“They’re mostly empty, hyung,” the younger doctor said.

“If we can’t find it here, we might have to look in those boxes after all,” Minhyun replied. He ran a finger through his own dark hair, thinking.  He glanced out the large window of Daniel’s room, then at the table in front of it.

In the real world, it was the same wooden table where he had set the Sigmund Corp machine. But here in the memory, the table was empty.

Empty except for one thing.

It was a flower. A white carnation set in a glass vase.

At first glance, that’s just what it was. But after staring at it hard for what seemed like an eternity, Minhyun saw the slightest flicker.

It was like a television image that had lost signal— where everything would be a black and white grainy mess— flickering like crazy.

It wasn’t as if the flower flickered _exactly_ like a lost TV channel. It was very subtle, barely any difference from a normal flower.

Minhyun bent down to examine at a closer proximity.  He didn’t dare blink.

And there it was again— the tiniest movement of grain all over the white of the petals. The tiniest and subtlest flicker. The sign of a memento. He grinned. “Jaehwan, I found it.”

Jaehwan was at his side in a second. “Nice.”

Carefully, Minhyun removed the flower from its vase. He scanned it with his wristwatch. The following beep that followed from the small Sigmund Corp device gave them the confirmation they needed.

“Yup. This is it.” Minhyun pressed a couple more buttons on his watch, preparing the memento for the next memory leap.

“I wonder where this’ll take us,” Jaehwan said. “It’s a white carnation, though… It means remembrance.”

“I… I think I know what we’ll see next.”

The younger doctor smiled sadly. “Me too.”

Another small beep told them that the memento was ready. Minhyun held the flower out to his partner, who also wrapped two small fingers around its stem.

Jaehwan took a deep breath. Minhyun did the same before closing his eyes, letting the words fall firmly from his mouth.

_“Activate memento.”_

The same white light greeted them like an old friend.

 

 

* * *

   **[♪♪♪](https://youtu.be/-_uXuslWnHcI)**

* * *

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 56 years old _ **

 

Minhyun had grown accustomed to the darkness of Kang Daniel’s home. The sky seemed to always be overcast, the house itself bathed in a constant, dim light. It wasn’t a bad thing, of course. It was just very distinguishable.

So when he saw bright colors of orange, yellow, and a vast blue stretching high above him, he knew that they weren’t at Daniel’s house anymore.

There were more colors. And noise.

His eyes were still adjusting, everything still a colorful blur. Like usual, his hearing was the first to catch on. He heard birds chirping, the faint sound of a car honk, and equally faint chattering of people. _People._ There were people here.

He breathed in. No scent of the sea. None at all.

Then everything began to slowly slip into focus. He could see the clouds in the blue sky, the tall buildings in the distance, and the trees with their warm autumn colors of orange, brown, and yellow.

They were back in the city.

“Hyung, you okay?”

Jaehwan’s voice grounded him back.

“Ugh.” Minhyun blinked a couple times. “Still a bit blurry. I can hear you fine, though.” He tried to focus on what was in front of him. He was standing on grass— he could at least make that out. Scattered across the grass were gray objects. A lot of them.

Ah. His hunch was correct.

“Where are we?” Minhyun asked, but he already knew the answer.

“A cemetery,” Jaehwan answered quietly.

Minhyun nodded. “And Daniel…?”

The younger doctor seemed to always regain his sight rather quickly after entering a memory. Jaehwan raised his arm, pointing somewhere to Minhyun’s left.

Ten seconds passed and Minhyun could finally see, everything returning in a sharp focus. He finally saw their client— quite far from them in the large cemetery.

Kang Daniel stood alone in front of a grave, holding a bouquet of white carnations.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seongwoo will make his first appearance in the next chapter.
> 
> What do you think of the story so far, guys? :D The mystery of Daniel’s wish has begun!
> 
> Also, if you’re confused with parts or have questions, please do ask! :) Sorry if some of my descriptions are confusing or messy or not clear enough :”) I try my best to improve.
> 
> \--
> 
> Also to those who played the game To the Moon:  
> For the sake of the plot, I’m not going to 100% follow the game’s mechanisms. So some things might be a little different here and there regarding how the Sigmund Corp tech and rules work.
> 
>  --
> 
> Thanks for reading! ❤


	5. the snowflakes that fell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time for a change of POV! :)
> 
> ((some chapters/parts will be in Minhyun's POV, and some in Jaehwan's. Gonna be switching back and forth throughout the story!))

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 56 years old _ **

 

After ten jobs as a Sigmund Corp employee, Jaehwan thought that he’d get used to the emotional turmoil that came with the occupation.

He never really got used to it.

There was a reason why clients asked for a doctor’s help in the first place. Perhaps there was a past regret that hurt too much, or an unfulfilled dream, or a traumatic and hurtful experience that they would rather have replaced with a happier one. Clients had many reasons to request for a memory alteration.

Whichever the reason was, it would eventually lead to Jaehwan entering a client’s memories that were filled with an assortment of things. Sometimes the memories were bright. Sometimes they were painful.

He would have to wander around those memories for the sake of helping the dying patient. He had to be professional, he knew. Sigmund Corp doctors weren’t allowed to let their personal feelings get in the way of the job _. (“A little empathy is fine,” the instructors had told them. “But too much would only serve as a distraction. Don’t get too emotional.”)_  Doctors were also constantly reminded to not get attached to their patients.

But...

He couldn’t help but let himself feel what the patients feel. He couldn’t help but feel the hurt that the patients felt. He knew _fully_ well that he had to be professional, but it was harder than he thought.

How he wished he could just say _“fuck you, empathy”_ , but in reality, he could only do the opposite. After finishing a job and having to see another client lie lifelessly on their bed, he would need some time to check himself and make sure he was okay.

Well... Jaehwan felt that he had become a _little_ more accustomed to the occupation compared to how he was during his and Minhyun’s first job. Now, _that_ first job had turned Jaehwan into an emotional wreck, trapped in a daze that lasted for weeks. He remembered skipping meals and locking himself up in his room, refusing to meet another client. He also remembered how Minhyun practically begged the Sigmund Corp director to give Kim Jaehwan more time to recover.

Jaehwan eventually did recover— but not fully. He would still feel the ache in his heart whenever he recalled their first client. And, on his worst days, he would feel tears gathering at the corner of his eyes.

But nevertheless, he had grown a _little more accustomed_. So when he finally got back on his feet for the second job, he had steeled his heart and prepared himself. He and Minhyun had succeeded in fulfilling that second patient’s final wish, but with heavy hearts.

Jaehwan convinced himself that it wasn’t as bad as the first time. He would get used to it.

He continued to convince himself for the next jobs that were to come.

And now here Jaehwan stood in Kang Daniel’s memory, surrounded by gravestones and autumn leaves.

He would try not to delve in emotions. _Don’t get attached_ , his instructors would also repeat. _Just finish the job._

Minhyun’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“Let’s go, Jaehwannie.”

Jaehwan turned to his friend with a firm nod.

They avoided the autumn leaves strewn all over the ground as they walked. They were invisible again, so any crunching noise under their feet would have been risky. This caution lasted until they came to a halt a couple meters from their patient, who was still gazing at the gravestone in front of him.

The two doctors waited. Daniel said nothing, just holding tightly onto the bouquet of white carnations in his hand.

A few minutes passed like that, giving Jaehwan time to notice the small details.

Daniel looked slightly younger, though strands of gray still evident in his hair. Wearing a thick black jacket, he still shivered when a strong breeze hit.

Jaehwan also noticed the empty patch of grass beside Seongwoo’s gravestone.

 _It must be the reserved spot that Jisung had talked about,_ he thought. _Daniel already reserved a spot to be buried next to Seongwoo’s grave for when he..._

Jaehwan didn’t want to finish the sentence.

Next to the empty spot was another gravestone, a smaller one. And next to that were more and more gravestones.

Finally Daniel spoke.

“Hi, Seongwoo.”

He spoke in a low and quiet voice, but the two doctors could hear him clearly in the empty cemetery.

“It’s been a year since you’ve gone, and...” Daniel paused, staring at his late husband’s name engraved on the stone. “I’ve been trying to keep going, but it’s hard sometimes.” The carnations shook slightly in his grasp. “Remember when we went to the sea together? On that impromptu car drive.” A sad smile came to his face. “I don’t know why I keep remembering that. I don’t know why I’m even mentioning it now, but...”

The following silence was accompanied by a heavy wind.

“On that night,” Daniel continued. “Why did you look so sad?”

Jaehwan felt a shiver run down his spine. From the corner of his eye, he could see Minhyun tense up.

“It’s not just that night,” Daniel said. “But many other times as well. I’d catch you staring at me with this sad look in your eyes. I’d ask you what was the matter but you’d smile and always tell me that everything’s alright. Why? Why did you look at me like that?”

There was no trace of anger in the man’s voice. None at all. But it was obvious and easily heard— the confusion and pain in Kang Daniel’s words. Jaehwan wondered if the memory would end there, with the heavy silence draping over their shoulders. But Daniel once again opened his mouth, sentences tumbling out from between his lips.

“I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss waking up to your annoyingly good-looking face. I miss how you’d always make me laugh with your jokes. I miss having you beside me, Seongwoo.”

Jaehwan felt his throat close up as Daniel bent down and carefully placed the flowers on top of Ong Seongwoo’s grave.  For a few seconds Daniel just stayed that way, as if lost in his own thoughts.

Then he stood up again and began walking towards the cemetery’s gates.

Jaehwan was staring at the white carnations when Minhyun tapped his shoulder. The younger man nodded and they both began following Daniel, whose eyes were still cast on the ground.

The two doctors could hear the sound of cars honking amidst the heavy wind that continued to blow. Dry autumn leaves crunched underneath Daniel’s feet as he walked.

Finally they found themselves in a nearly empty parking lot. Daniel retrieved the keys from his pocket and unlocked the door to his small, white car.

Jaehwan felt another tap on his shoulder. He glanced up to see Minhyun pointing towards the vehicle.

“Look,” the older doctor said.

And Jaehwan did look.

Finding mementos could truly be a hassle sometimes. If they were tiny objects, it could take a doctor hours to find it, thus taking a tremendous amount of time just to get to the next memory. But if a doctor was lucky, there were occasions where mementos would be huge and easily spotted.

This was one of those moments.

Kang Daniel’s car slightly flickered. It was _slight_ , yet due to the size, it was very obvious and impossible to miss. Both Jaehwan and Minhyun placed the palm of their hand on the car’s trunk, just as Daniel opened the door and slipped inside.

Before the older man could begin to drive off, Jaehwan closed his eyes, his voice soft and clear.

_“Activate memento.”_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 55 years old _ **

 

The darkness shouldn’t have become something the young doctor was used to, yet that was exactly what happened when they entered the next memory.

Jaehwan blinked a couple times, adjusting quickly to the lack of light. The bright scenery that had accompanied the previous memory had actually surprised him. He had indeed become accustomed to the dim of Daniel’s small house by the sea.

And here they were again, at that certain spot. The two doctors removed their hands from the car and waited.

A second passed when the vehicle’s door flung open. It was sudden enough to cause Jaehwan and even Minhyun to flinch.

Kang Daniel exited the car, his eyes seeming to shine under the light of the full moon above. He stared at the view in front of him, breathing heavily. Then he began walking, his eyes glued to the sea and the sky, not caring if he stumbled over the uneven ground.

Jaehwan and Minhyun silently followed as Daniel continued to trudge on to that certain spot where his house would eventually be built. The tall grass touched his black pants and white dress shirt, tainting it with dirt. Daniel didn’t mind. He just kept on going, as if in a trance.

It took a few minutes. But soon, sand was under their feet, the sound of waves roaring in their ears.

Daniel staggered in his steps. His legs seemed to give out from under him, causing him to fall to his knees.  He stayed like that, breathing more heavy, eyes still on the view in front of him.

And then he began to cry. It started with silent tears beginning to stream down his face, and then a choked sob escaping his lips. Then he was bent over, hands over his eyes as harsher sobs wracked his body.

Jaehwan wished he didn’t have to see this. He could feel his own heart clenching, his throat becoming even more closed up. He vaguely remembered his instructors telling him to _not get too emotional and to just focus on the job—_

There was a squeeze on his shoulder. Jaehwan blinked, snapping out of his thoughts.

Minhyun didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Hand on his friend’s shoulder, Minhyun gave him another comforting squeeze.  

With the older doctor’s help, Jaehwan calmed himself down. Trying to keep his voice steady, he said, “This must be the night of Seongwoo’s funeral.”

Minhyun nodded and answered softly, “You’re right.”

“It’s a full moon,” Jaehwan observed.

“Yes, it is.”

“I think...” Jaehwan paused. “I think we can safely assume that Daniel’s desire to go to the moon has some sort of connection with Ong Seongwoo.”

Minhyun nodded again. “We can.”

But something felt off. Maybe it was the months of memory alteration and wish granting experience, but... Jaehwan knew that there had to be something else. But what? What else could there be?

Or maybe he was overthinking it. There was also that possibility.

There was only one way to find out. They had only just begun their memory leaps. They had to dig deeper. Had to go farther and farther into Kang Daniel’s timeline.

Jaehwan began walking towards Daniel, Minhyun’s hand dropping to his side as it slipped off the younger doctor’s shoulder.

If Daniel was paying attention to the details, he would have seen the footprints in the sand, making their way towards him. But he didn’t. Eyes still covered by his hands, Daniel continued to cry.

In front of the older man, Jaehwan crouched down to his eye level. If he wasn’t invisible, maybe he could have locked eyes with Daniel. Maybe he could have given a comforting pat on the shoulder, or maybe even a hug.

But this wasn’t the time nor place to do so. The doctors would stay invisible even in the next memories, unless it was absolutely necessary for them to interact with Daniel or the people around him.

So Jaehwan did what he could. He spoke, his words silent and falling without a sound on Daniel’s ears.

“You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you? You’ve suffered, and it must hurt right now.” Jaehwan watched as Daniel gave no response. “But me and Minhyun-hyung are here. We’ll help you. We’ll do whatever we can to help you. Just... Just wait for us.”

Minhyun joined him by his side. “The next memento,” he said quietly.

Jaehwan didn’t even see it at first. It was a small pink plushie lying near the grieving man's feet. The young doctor recognized it as Apeach _—_ the pink peach character that fans said resembled Daniel.

Daniel must have carried it with him, dropping the plushie when he began to break down.

As Jaehwan wondered just how important the small doll was to Daniel, Minhyun began preparing the memento. It didn’t take long, as three seconds passed and a familiar beep filled their ears.

Daniel’s shoulders still shook with sobs, and Jaehwan felt the determination burning in his own chest.

No matter what happened, he was going to help Kang Daniel. _No matter what it takes._

He softly touched the doll with his fingers. “Minhyun-hyung. Let’s go.”

Jaehwan felt the older doctor’s hand next to his own. "Hang in there, Daniel,” Minhyun said, closing his eyes as he activated the memento.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 55 years old _ **

 

They were in a room.

A white room with a bed and wide windows, the blinds drawn shut.

It was true that Jaehwan’s eyesight returned much quicker than Minhyun when they entered a new memory. Even so, the younger doctor needed at least a few seconds for everything to come back in sharp focus.

But even before he regained his complete ability to see, he already knew what kind of room they were in.

The scent was all too familiar. He had been in these kinds of places far too often.

With one inhale of the sharp scent, Jaehwan knew that they were in a hospital room. Not only that, but his ears picked up on the sound of a cardiac monitor.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Soon his eyesight returned, and he immediately glanced at his wristwatch.

The screen indicated that Kang Daniel was still at 55 years old. Which meant that the memory they now stood in happened only months before the last one... Or maybe weeks... Or maybe days...

Or...

Jaehwan looked up.

By then, he had already seen Daniel’s broad back often enough to recognize it. Daniel was seated on a chair beside the bed, holding hands with the patient.

From the place where he stood by the door, Jaehwan couldn’t see the patient’s face clearly.

“We’re in a hospital, aren’t we?” Minhyun asked.

Jaehwan glanced up at his friend, who was still blinking with a frown on his face. “Yeah. You still can’t see, hyung?”

“Everything’s still blurry,” the older doctor grumbled. “What do you see?”

“Kang Daniel. And a patient on the bed. We need to get closer, though. I can’t see the patient’s face. I can just see Daniel’s back.”

“Give me a second. Still can’t see. I don’t want to crash into anything.”

“No time for that,” Jaehwan said. “I’ll guide you.” He walked forwards, grabbing onto Minhyun’s hand and pulling him along.

Jaehwan circled around the bed, heart hammering against his chest. He already had a solid guess on who the patient was. Who else could it be except—

“Ong Seongwoo,” Jaehwan said, breath caught in his throat.

Gaunt yet handsome, Seongwoo had fair black hair with strands of gray. Even though most of his body was covered by the blanket draped over him, his long legs and perfect proportions were evident. Gaze fixed on the man seated in front of him, Seongwoo clutched weakly at one end of the blanket while his other hand held onto Daniel’s fingers.

Loud ticks could be heard coming from the wall clock as the two men spoke in low voices.

“Don’t cry,” Seongwoo said weakly, a smile on his face.

“I’m not crying,” Daniel answered, voice shaking.

Seongwoo chuckled. “You should be smiling. Like this guy over here.” With an unsteady hand, he grabbed onto the Apeach doll from the table by his side. He held it out to his husband, as if comparing the doll’s bright bunny-tooth smile with Daniel’s sad grin.

“I’m smiling,” Daniel said, trying to pull on a brighter smile. “See?”

“Looks just like you,” Seongwoo commented. Daniel's grip on his hand grew tighter. “Niel, even if my heart fails to function properly, just know that it still continues to beat for you.”

Daniel rolled his eyes, tears starting to brim at the corners. “Why do you have to be so cheesy at times like this?”

“You like it when I’m cheesy though,” Seongwoo replied with a smirk.

Daniel laughed. “You know me too well.”

Holding the small doll must have been a difficult feat for Seongwoo. His arm flopped back down on the bed, the peach plushie landing on his chest with a soft thud.

“You okay?” Daniel said, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

“I’m fine.” Seongwoo smiled. “Hey, Daniel...”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember when we first met?”

Daniel nodded. “Of course, I do. I was told to meet the model who was going to star in my new music video.” His eyes glazed over, as if getting lost in the memories. “My manager contacted your manager. In the end it was agreed that you and I meet in a café. And so I went there by myself, and I laid eyes on the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen.”

“Now who’s the one being cheesy?”

“You like it too.”

“You know _me_ too well, Kang Daniel.” Seongwoo laughed. It was a light laugh. “What else do you remember?”

“I remember us talking for hours. You had two cups of coffee. I bought a bagel but I never ended up eating it because I was enjoying our conversation too much.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“We talked until the sun went down. I remember wanting to see you again right after we said goodbye.”

“Aww.”

“Oh, admit it. You wanted to see me just as much as I wanted to see you.”

There was a pause. The clock continued to tick. Then Seongwoo nodded. A small, sad smile lingered on his face. “You’re right. I really missed you.”

A silence. Daniel bit his own lip, as if steadying himself. Then he spoke.

“I love you.”

With the strength that he still had in his thin fingers, Seongwoo squeezed his husband’s hand. “I love you too, Daniel." He mustered another smile. "I love you to the moon and back.”

 

 

 

 

  

Jaehwan wasn’t sure how many hours passed. Or if an hour even passed at all. The concept of time was rather hard to grasp when you’re a Sigmund Corp doctor.

But what he was sure of was the sound of a long, never-ending beep piercing through the night. He was sure of Daniel calling out Seongwoo’s name. He was sure of the nurses that entered the room with sympathetic expressions. And Jaehwan was sure of Minhyun pulling him by the hand, telling him that they needed to move.

The memento was a knitted scarf. It hung on an empty chair near the end of the room.

Wrapping the scarf around his and Jaehwan’s intertwined hands, Minhyun said with a soft voice, _“Activate memento.”_

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 44 years old _ **

 

“Hi, father. It’s me, Daniel. There are a lot of things that I want to tell you.”

Kang Daniel stood in front of a grave again, but a different one this time. It was also a completely different cemetery on the other side of the city.

The sky was dark, signaling nightfall. The bright city lights could be seen in the distance.

Daniel stood there in the empty cemetery, holding hands with Ong Seongwoo.

From a safe distance, Jaehwan frowned. It was always weird to see someone who he had just seen pass away... suddenly up and walking like this. Not only that, but Seongwoo looked significantly different. His cheekbones were less prominent, his face looking less gaunt and more filled. He stood strong and healthy, the knitted scarf wrapped comfortably around his neck.

The gray was gone from both his and Daniel’s hair, and it was then that Jaehwan noticed how young Daniel looked. Like Seongwoo, Daniel’s face was more filled, the shadows gone from underneath his eyes. He looked bright, cheeks slightly pink from the cold winter night. It seemed as if the coats that he and Seongwoo wore didn’t do much against the freezing air and snow.

Jaehwan could also feel the cold. He shivered, turning to look at his friend.

The white snowflakes stood out against the black of Minhyun’s hair. He also shivered; face looking as pale as ever.

“H-H-Hyung,” Jaehwan stuttered, teeth chattering.

Without a word, Minhyun nodded. He let go of Jaehwan’s hand and quickly pressed a few buttons on his wristwatch.

Seconds passed and warmth returned to both of the doctors’ bodies, no longer feeling the cold despite the snowflakes still falling on them.

Jaehwan let out a sigh of relief. “We really need to have a word with the science department. Whose bright idea was it to have body warmth synchronize with the weather in memories?”

“A certain someone we know,” Minhyun said, also questioning that certain department at Sigmund Corp. “At least they gave us the option of turning it off.”

They focused back on their client, able to easily hear his words despite being meters away.

“A lot of things,” Daniel continued, puffs of breath hanging in the air as he spoke to his father’s gravestone. “I’m acting in more movies with Seongwoo. I’m also still making choreo, though I’m not as flexible as I used to be.” He chuckled. “Age gets to us all, huh?”

Seongwoo held tightly onto his husband’s hand, not saying a word as Daniel talked excitedly.

“I’m doing great, so you don’t have to worry about me. I also... I also wanted to thank you.” Daniel’s tone softened. “Thank you for adopting me back then. I was a lonely boy at a lonely orphanage, and then you came like a superhero. Thank you for training me and helping me reach my full potential. I still remember how happy and proud you looked when I finally debuted as an idol.” Daniel smiled. “Thank you for taking care of me all these years, father.”

And he was done.

A cold wind blew in their direction, causing Daniel to shiver like crazy and eventually throw his arms around Seongwoo’s body for warmth.

“You’re like a big clingy teddy bear,” Seongwoo said with a laugh.

“It’s freezing! Freezing!”

“Let’s go home, then. I’ll make hot chocolate." Seongwoo patted the younger man's hair affectionately. "Or we can stop by somewhere and get a drink.”

Daniel grinned at the suggestion. “Both options sound great.”

“You go first, though. I want to say a couple words before we leave.”

“Okay! I’ll see you in the car!”

Daniel waved as he ran off towards the cemetery’s gates. Seongwoo waved back, smiling brightly as he watched Daniel go.

When his husband was finally out of sight and out of earshot, the smile melted off Seongwoo’s face. He turned back to the gravestone, and Jaehwan felt a shiver run down his spine yet again.

The look in Seongwoo’s eyes... It wasn’t grief. Nor was it sadness or anything that conveyed a similar emotion. Instead, Seongwoo’s eyes burned with what appeared to be anger.

_Anger._

He was looking at the gravestone as if it was the most hateful thing on the planet.

Jaehwan glanced at Minhyun, whose eyes were also wide with surprise upon seeing the sudden change in Seongwoo’s expression. Then he focused on the view in front of him again, of the man alone in front of a gravestone.

The two doctors waited with bated breath, keeping quiet even though Seongwoo couldn’t see nor hear them.

“I’ll never forgive you.”

The words rung clearly in the night. Seongwoo spoke with a voice so firm and so sure that it was impossible to mishear or misinterpret.

“What you did was unforgivable. No matter how many years have passed. Or will pass. Time won’t change the fact that you did what you did.”

Seongwoo’s hands were shaking. And it wasn’t because of the cold.

“I sound like a horrible person, don’t I? I’m saying such things to someone who already passed away. But...” Tears started to fall from Seongwoo’s face, one by one. “How could you? How could you do such a thing? How...?”

The snowflakes continued their descent, showering the gravestone and the flowers spread below it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	6. can't we stay like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! I'm baaack. Thanks so much for waiting. You guys are the best! :D 
> 
> I guess you can consider this my super late Christmas present to you all. 
> 
> Also, you can look forward to much faster updates!! :)

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 44 years old _ **

_How could you do such a thing?_

_How...?_

Jaehwan held his breath, waiting for Seongwoo to continue.

He didn’t continue.

With a final look at the gravestone, Ong Seongwoo turned around and began making his way to the cemetery gates. Not once did he look back.

None of the doctors said anything. They kept their eyes on Seongwoo until he passed the gates, turned a corner, and disappeared from sight.

It shouldn’t have been cold, but Jaehwan was shivering. He breathed out shakily.

Finally Minhyun’s voice cut through the air.

“What...?"

Jaehwan thought the same. Because how else would he describe his utter confusion, except with the word _‘what’?_ One word seemed to represent his churning thoughts that were roaring in his mind.

Minhyun turned to him and asked, “How was the relationship between Seongwoo and Daniel’s father?”

The younger doctor tried to remember all the research that he did last night. He also recalled the various news and rumors that he had heard before — on websites and the media. He shook his head. There wasn’t even the slightest gossip about Seongwoo disliking Daniel’s father. “They were fine,” Jaehwan answered. “Or at least they appeared fine.”

“Were there any problems between Daniel and his father?”

Jaehwan took a few seconds in an attempt to recall anything— _anything_ that might have hinted at discord between Daniel and the man that raised him. Nothing came up. He shook his head again. “They appeared fine too, hyung.”

Minhyun nodded. “I don’t remember reading anything bad about their relationship either— both between Seongwoo and Daniel’s father, and Daniel with his father.” He paused, brow furrowed. “Something might have happened and the media just doesn’t know about it.”

“Yeah, I think so too. Now we’ve got even more questions. Why was Seongwoo so angry? What did Daniel’s father do?”

“Another mystery to solve,” Minhyun said, his eyes now on the sky. The snow continued to fall. “We won’t figure anything out here. Let’s look for the next memento.”

It was dark and Jaehwan knew how hard it would be to find a small flickering image in such darkness. He wondered if he should run after Seongwoo— maybe the memento was somewhere in his and Daniel’s car.

He decided to check the gravestone first. Striding toward it, Jaehwan tried to ignore the silence that lay like a heavy blanket on his surroundings.

Minhyun followed him, long legs letting him catch up easily. Side by side, the two doctors stared at the stone and the words etched across. The name of Daniel's father seemed to stare back at them.

Then their gaze shifted to the flowers scattered below. White carnations again.

The memento should have been difficult to see. Not only were the flowers white, but the snow that continued to fall should have caused the small flickering object to blend in easily with its surroundings.

But after nearly a dozen jobs as Sigmund Corp employees, both Jaehwan and Minhyun felt that their eyes adapted quickly to spotting little movements in the objects around them.

They both saw the memento at the same time. It was a seashell— very similar to the one Daniel had presented to Jisung, but this time it wasn’t a shocking pink color. It was a smooth, solid white. A white amongst white.

Minhyun bent down to pick it up. With the small object in the palm of his hand, he held it out to Jaehwan.

“Do you think we’ll go to the sea again, hyung?” the younger doctor asked.

“Most probably.”

It wasn’t a surprise. It felt like a natural thing— to return to the place Daniel’s house would be built.

Jaehwan wrapped his fingers around Minhyun’s hand, enveloping the seashell in their tight grip.

They would solve the mysteries. One by one.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 42 years old _ **

 

It was night again.

Jaehwan remembered Kang Daniel telling Yoon Jisung of the sight that he had seen that night. The pretty stars and the full moon.

And the young doctor had to agree— the stars really were pretty.

Far away from the city and its pollution, the sky was decorated with bright lights spread across the black. It stretched out in all directions. Jaehwan felt like craning his head and just staring at the sight above him.

And there it was. The moon. Round and glowing, it reflected on the vast sea below, causing the waters to shine in ripples.

Jaehwan kicked the sand underneath his feet, glancing at the spot where Daniel would eventually build his small two-story house. It was just a large patch of grass.

“Kang Daniel’s not here yet,” Minhyun said beside him.

“But he’ll be here, right?” Jaehwan asked. “It’s clear that he holds this place close to his heart.”

“I’m sure he will.”

“Hey, hyung.”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go play in the sea.”

There was a solid ten seconds of silence. Then Minhyun simply said, with a puzzled expression: “What?”

“I wanna try to imagine how Daniel felt while he was here. To understand him a bit more. Plus...” Jaehwan turned to his friend, a small grin on his face. “When else can we play in the sea without your allergies reacting, hyung? This might be our only chance!”

Minhyun opened his mouth as if ready to argue, but then closed it. “Well,” he said slowly. “If it helps us understand our client, then I don’t see why not.”

Jaehwan was already kicking off his shoes and tearing off his socks, unceremoniously flinging them onto the ground. After rolling up the bottom of his pants to his knees, he ran towards the water without another word.

Sighing, the older doctor did the same. But he carefully set his footwear on the sandy ground before walking after his friend.

The water was cold. It was weird really, how _real_ everything felt in the memories. They were able to touch objects, to taste food and drinks, to feel the wind blowing at their hair. But none of it would affect their bodies in the ‘real world’. The sensations were simply generated by the Sigmund Corp machine for them to feel— strictly just in the memory itself. Minhyun could spend _hours_ being soaked in the sea, yet he would still be safe from any allergic reactions. Minhyun’s “body” in the memory wouldn’t even be affected at all. The machine didn’t consider personal things such as specific allergies of a doctor.

Yet everything felt real. If Jaehwan allowed himself to lose focus, or to perhaps forget that he was on a job, he would have truly believed that he was experiencing this in real life. But he kept a grip on what was real and what was not. He made sure of that every time he entered a client’s timeline.

Without even a second of hesitation, Jaehwan continued running until the water reached his knees. He could have gone farther if he hadn’t turn around to see how Minhyun was doing.

Minhyun took careful and slow steps into the sea, as if testing himself. Then with each confident stride, he continued on until he reached the other doctor.

Jaehwan poked his friend’s shoulder. “So. How do you feel?”

“Oddly liberating.” Minhyun was looking down at the water touching his knees.  

Grinning, Jaehwan fixed his gaze on the horizon. “Kang Daniel was right. It really is pretty here.”

He wished that he could take a picture. Surrounded by countless stars, the moon was bright and appeared to cast a beam of light on the sea with its reflection. The scene had a sort of soothing effect on the shorter doctor, as if he could forget his worries and just feel the moment.

“Yeah,” Minhyun replied. “Pretty.”

Jaehwan turned to look at his friend, curious of what expression was on the other person’s face.

To his surprise, Minhyun wasn’t looking at the horizon. Their eyes had connected, and Minhyun suddenly became very flustered.

Without a word, the older doctor quickly broke their eye contact and began glaring at the sea stretched in front of him.

Five seconds passed.

“...Hyung, were you staring at me?”

“Wh-What? No.”

“You _were._ Oh geez, is there something on my face?”

Jaehwan was the type of person that got spooked fairly easily. A bug flying near his proximity would have caused him to jump like a madman in his seat.

Panicking and wondering if a starfish had somehow latched itself onto his face, Jaehwan slapped his hands over his own cheeks. There was nothing there. “What is it, hyung, what is it?”

 _“Nothing_ , Jaehwan. Calm down.”

“Is it in my hair or something?”

Minhyun was looking at anywhere but him. “There’s nothing, really—”

Jaehwan was already running his fingers through his hair, freaking out at the thought that something was crawling in there. Minhyun had been staring at him so _seriously_ , there had to be something—

But after half a minute of searching for the non-existent creature, Jaehwan gave up. His heart still beating fast, he gathered water into the palms of his hands and flung it at Minhyun.

“Hey!”

“You scared me, hyung!”

“You scared yourself!” Minhyun wiped his face where the water had hit. He turned to glare at the younger doctor.

Jaehwan threw more water.

The small and rather weak barrage ended in less than ten seconds. Jaehwan let his tired arms drop. Not only had he calmed down, but his playful side had begun to emerge in between the panic. The frantic splashes of water had turned into mischievous ones, and he really felt like they were at the sea, just playing.

But that didn’t stop the fact that Minhyun was glaring at him underneath his now soaked bangs. The tall doctor took a slow, deep breath before saying, “My turn.”

Jaehwan only had time to register the fact that _he was fucked_ when Minhyun began closing the distance between them easily with his long legs.

The younger doctor whirled around and began to run. He managed to take three courageous steps before arms wrapped tightly around his body, impeding his escape.

“So,” Minhyun said calmly. “Dongho taught me how to do the chokehold. Would you like to see?”

Jaehwan paled. Never had it crossed his mind that Kang Dongho, Minhyun’s muscular friend from school, would pass down such knowledge and techniques to Minhyun himself.

This was the worst time to find out. He’d rather find out when Minhyun wasn’t behind him like this, at a position that was quite practical for a chokehold.

“Um.  I’d rather not see. Or be the subject of it. Thanks for the offer though, hyung.”

“You know what? I have a better idea.”

“Wha—”

His words were cut off as Minhyun’s fingers made their way to his sides.

And then the tickling began.

Don’t expect Kim Jaehwan to stay still and silent during a tickle attack. Expect him to thrash around and to giggle and laugh very _very_ loudly.

And that was exactly what he did. He thrashed as much as he could, trying to escape, but Minhyun held him close and continued attacking his sides. Jaehwan tried not to laugh but it was impossible. The giggles turned into shrieks of laughter. Soon his stomach began to hurt from all the laughing.

“Admit defeat,” Minhyun demanded in his most composed voice, as his friend hopelessly kicked at the water.

“Ne-Never!”

“So be it.”

Another thirty seconds passed before Jaehwan finally gave in. Exhausted and out of breath, he wheezed, “Okay, _okay_ , you win.”

The tickling stopped. Jaehwan would have slumped over and landed face-first in the water if Minhyun hadn’t kept ahold of him. So Jaehwan just sort of hung there, limp as a fish.

Silence fell as the sound of waves filled their ears. Their clothes were slightly soaked from all the splashing, and it did feel a little chilly with the wind and all. Jaehwan slowly began gaining his breath and strength.

Then something happened. The arms around him tightened. Not too tight, but tight enough to give the impression of an... urgency? Or something? Jaehwan could only wonder.

If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought it was a back hug. But that would be weird, because Hwang Minhyun didn’t give him back hugs. He just simply didn't.

It didn’t last long, though. Jaehwan might have even imagined it. Five seconds passed when Minhyun slowly let go. Slow enough for the younger doctor to regain the strength back in his legs and to stand on his own two feet (and surely _not_ fall face-first into the sea).

“We should get going,” Minhyun quietly said from behind him.

Jaehwan turned around to face his friend, only to see Minhyun already making his way to the shore. So Jaehwan followed, already shifting his thoughts to the unanswered questions that had appeared regarding Kang Daniel.

By the time Jaehwan began collecting his scattered-about socks and shoes, Minhyun had already worn his footwear. The older man now stood at a close distance from the waters, an unreadable expression on his face (Minhyun had always been a hard person to read). Jaehwan quickly slipped on his shoes and jogged up to stand beside his tall friend.

They waited another five minutes before beams of lights started to appear from beyond the hill. Then finally, a small white car drove up to the side of the road, slowing down until eventually coming to a stop. The headlights then dimmed, darkness engulfing once again.

The door of the passenger’s flung open almost immediately. A lone figure— a man — emerged from the vehicle, running in the direction of the sea.

Without missing a beat, the driver’s door opened just as quickly. Another figure appeared from it, hurriedly closing the doors before rushing off after the other man.

Jaehwan and Minhyun had fixed their eyes on the newcomers until they could make out their identities.

Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo.

The younger of the two was running with a big smile on his face, arms wide open as if to keep his balance from all the times he stumbled on the uneven ground. Behind him, frantically trying to catch up, was Seongwoo.

Daniel quickly reached the shore. His eyes looked back and forth at the sand, as if taking in the sight. Then he suddenly scooped up a small, white seashell from the ground. "Souvenir," he laughed to himself, stuffing the shell into his pocket.

Seongwoo called after him, still from a distance.

_"Daniel! Kang Daniel!"_

Kicking off his shoes, Daniel swiftly tore off the gloves that had kept his fingers warm. He hopped into the sea, water splashing, and chuckled brightly. He kept going until the water touched his thighs. Then he whirled around, waving a hand to his husband. “Seongwoo, hurry hurry!”

Seconds later and Seongwoo reached the sand, panting heavily. Bending over and catching his breath at the same time, he removed his shoes and strode forwards till he stood next to Daniel.

Daniel grinned even wider and took Seongwoo’s hand, holding tightly onto it before turning to look at the horizon.

Minutes passed by in silence like that. The two men under the full moon and stars, with the sea lapping at their knees and thighs. It was peaceful. It looked peaceful. It _felt_ peaceful.

But then Jaehwan noticed something. From the moment that Daniel whirled around to call for Seongwoo, the latter’s gaze never left Daniel’s face. Not even once.

And now, as Daniel stared in awe at the horizon, Seongwoo’s eyes were still on him. It was an intense stare— as if Seongwoo was searching for something but failing to find it.

More minutes passed before the searching eyes began to shine slightly in the moonlight. Tears had started forming, and one slowly slipped down Seongwoo’s cheek.

As if feeling the intense gaze that was on him, Daniel turned to look at his husband.

Seongwoo, surprised, quickly wiped his eyes and looked away.

“What’s wrong?” Daniel asked, panic lacing his voice, the smile melting off his face. “Are—Are you crying?”

Shaking his head, Seongwoo answered, “What? No. Something got in my eye.”

But Daniel knew better. He gently wrapped his fingers around Seongwoo’s wrist, to keep the older man from hiding his face. “Don’t lie. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m _fine,_ Daniel. Stop worrying so much. A damn bug flew in my eye or something.”

“Seongwoo—”

“Really, I’m _fine._ ”

The two men stared at each other for a while. Daniel, obviously worried. And Seongwoo, unwavering.

Then the older of the two pulled on a smile and laughed. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing, Daniel. Let’s just enjoy the view, okay? Please?”

Obviously not looking convinced, Daniel sighed and slowly nodded. Then without a word, he took a step forward, wrapping his husband in a gentle hug.

Seongwoo bit his own lip, as if trying to keep himself from crying again. It didn’t stop his eyes from glazing over, though.

“You know that you can tell me anything, right?” Daniel said, tone unbearably soft. “I’m always here for you. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Seongwoo answered with a voice that slightly quavered, despite his best efforts to keep it steady. He buried his face in Daniel’s broad shoulder and hugged him back. “I know.”

They stayed like that for a while. Eventually, Seongwoo slowly pulled away before flashing another smile. He held tightly onto Daniel’s hand as he turned to gaze at the view in front of them. Reluctantly, Daniel did the same.

Jaehwan turned to look at Minhyun, who still had his eyes on the two men in the water. Then Jaehwan looked down, staring the sand.  A flicker had caught his attention.

There it was. On the sand.

“Hyung,” he said, stepping forwards.

Daniel had worn a pair of gloves but tore them off before running into the sea. Now there they lay, on the ground. Jaehwan bent down and picked one up, shaking off the sand and holding it out for Minhyun to see.

Minhyun nodded. “You found it.” 

It was a blue cotton glove. Jaehwan compared its size to his own hand, and he noted how soft the object was as it flickered in his open palm.

As Jaehwan pressed a couple buttons on his wristwatch, Minhyun walked up to him. The older of the two glanced, one last time, at Daniel and Seongwoo’s figures in the distance.

Then Jaehwan felt Minhyun’s hand wrap around his, the glove in between.

“You ready, hyung?”

Minhyun gave him a small smile, as if lending strength for whatever they were about to see next.

“Ready when you are, Jaehwannie.”

“Here we go then. _Activate memento.”_

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 38 years old _ **

 

A small, peaceful village surrounded by hills. Covering the roofs of little cottages, cozy pubs, a lone post office, and other equally tiny buildings were thick layers of white snow. Although it was nighttime, the area was illuminated by the warm lights of the buildings, along with the many streetlamps scattered around the village.

Not only streetlamps, but small pine trees were also placed at various locations, decorated with colorful Christmas lights. The snow falling from the sky adorned the green of the trees as well.

Most of the village’s occupants preferred to stay indoors during the late hours of the night, leaving the streets empty and calm. Jaehwan and Minhyun walked these empty streets, accompanied by the muffled chattering of people inside the buildings.

Jaehwan personally thought that it was a really beautiful place. He wished that he could grab a camera and take a couple of pictures. Maybe hang up those pictures on the wall of his and Minhyun’s shared room, so he could look at them whenever he felt stressed out. The village simply felt therapeutic.

The two doctors came across a pub, where they could hear faint music emanating from inside. Jaehwan’s ears perked up. It was a sort of folk song— a cheerful one with cheerful strings and cheerful clapping.

“I see them,” Minhyun said, looking into one of the pub’s various square windows. “Daniel and Seongwoo are inside, at the table in the back.”

Jaehwan tried looking himself, but the window was a bit too foggy to clearly see their client’s face. “Let’s go in,” he said.

They waited for somebody to open the door. (A door opening on its own would be plain creepy for the people inside. The wind could have been to blame, but the doctors preferred not to take any chances.)

A lone, middle-aged woman finally arrived. Breathing into her hands, she hurriedly entered the pub. Jaehwan and Minhyun quickly slipped in before the door could shut again.

The inside was just as cozy as the village itself. It had a warm fire blazing in a large fireplace in the back. A stage stood tall and proud in the front, where a band of a dozen people were playing the folk music that Jaehwan had heard outside. He saw an assortment of instruments— amongst those were the violin, pipes, flute, and even an accordion. Jaehwan could also see a vacant drum set and guitar at the side of the stage, ready to be played.

There were at least a dozen tables, in which an assortment of people clad in winter-wear were seated. It was quite a joyous atmosphere as the music grew louder, the audience clapped along to the rhythm, and the bartender smiled as he served more drinks.

Jaehwan could see Daniel and Seongwoo seated at one of the tables, in a corner at the back. Both wearing thick warm sweaters, they leaned heavily against each other, faces huddled close as they talked with grins on their faces.

The song hit its climax and ended with a bang. The room exploded in cheers, some people even standing to show their appreciation.

Daniel and Seongwoo were amongst those people. The two men stood up, clapping and cheering loudly. Jaehwan could even distinguish their voices amid the dozens of occupants in the room.

It took a while, but the noise eventually died down. One by one, the performers left the stage, leaving it empty after encouraging the audience to bravely step up and perform. The pub then slowly lulled into a quiet atmosphere.

Daniel was saying something animatedly to Seongwoo. The younger man’s face was bright as he gestured toward the stage, his eyes fixed on his husband. He then clasped his hands together, as if playfully pleading for something.

Seongwoo laughed and patted Daniel’s shoulder. He took a quick drink from his cup and stood up.

Daniel let out a whoop as Seongwoo began making his way forwards. The room became louder, people murmuring to each other as they watched the tall, handsome man climb confidently onto the stage.

The murmurs turned to cheers as Seongwoo took a seat behind the drums, a dashing smile on his face.

Then he began to play.

It started as a slow, delicate beat. Then he launched into the song, faster and more intense, and the audience cheered louder.

Daniel had the proudest look on his face, jumping up and down and punching the air in excitement. It only caused Seongwoo to laugh and play with even more enthusiasm.

As if the place wasn’t loud enough, it became even _louder_ when Daniel suddenly ran to the front of the room. Smile as wide as ever, he jumped onto the stage and began to dance.

He danced to the beat of the drums, matching himself to the rhythm. Seongwoo seemed a little surprised and halted for one single second, but then easily continued playing.

Jaehwan didn’t know much about dancing, but he knew that what unfolded on stage was amazing. It was obviously not a planned performance, as Seongwoo would suddenly change the rhythm and Daniel would glance at him as if saying _“Challenge Accepted”_. In return, Daniel would adjust his on-the-spot choreography to the new beat. Seongwoo would smile even wider, even chuckling sometimes.

Some people had recognized Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo, and shouted their names excitedly.

The performance ended with fast, intense drumming and finally the smash of cymbals. Daniel suddenly dropped to the floor as if he was a dancing robot that had its plug pulled out.

Jaehwan clapped so hard that his hands hurt; the audience’s cheers deafening. He glanced to look at Minhyun, who was smiling as well and also clapping his hands.

Seongwoo stood up and placed the drum sticks back in its place. Grinning, he walked up to Daniel, who was still sprawled all over the stage.

Daniel then took Seongwoo’s outstretched hand, climbing to his feet. The cheering grew louder, a collective _“awww”_ spreading across the pub, as Daniel held up Seongwoo’s hand and kissed it.

Minhyun chuckled. Jaehwan whooped, palms growing sore from his aggressive clapping.

After taking a gracious bow with their hands intertwined, Daniel and Seongwoo hopped off the stage and ran out the door just like that.

An epic exit.

Jaehwan and Minhyun scrambled after them before the door could close. They barely made it.

The door slammed behind them, yet the loud cheers of the audience still followed, albeit a bit muffled. Jaehwan watched as Daniel and Seongwoo stopped running and began to walk out into the snowy grounds.

The snow continued to fall as Seongwoo tugged a beanie over his head. Daniel dug into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a pair of blue cotton gloves. He quickly slipped them on, letting out a satisfied sigh. He then reached over and took Seongwoo’s hand again.

“Wow,” Seongwoo said.

“Wow indeed,” Daniel replied.

“That was really truly totally absolutely _amazing_.”

They both laughed, swinging their hands together.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you play drums.” Daniel turned to look at his husband. “I missed that.”

Seongwoo hummed, as if lost in thought. He then nodded. “It has been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Yep.”

“I wasn’t rusty at all though, right?”

“Not at all. You were spectacular.”

Smiling, Seongwoo leaned over and pressed a kiss to Daniel’s cheek. “Thank you very much, mister dancing machine. You were spectacular too.”

The grin on Daniel’s face grew as he said, “It’s a good thing we paid for the drinks before sitting down. Or we would have to go back in and pay.” He covered his mouth, holding back his giggles. “That would have been _such_ an anticlimax.”

Seongwoo laughed. “Or the bartender might chase after us and be like—” He cleared his throat before launching into a dramatic, deep voice, “‘— _the performance was fuckin’ amazing but pay for your goddamn drinks, you tourists!’”_

Daniel burst out laughing. He bent over, clutching his stomach.

Seongwoo kept going. He waved his free arm, balling his fingers into a fist. He pulled on an exaggerated furious expression as he bellowed, “‘ _Also teach me how to dance while you’re at it!’”_

The (completely inaccurate) impersonation of the bartender sent Daniel into another laughing fit. He was literally wheezing for breath.

It took a while for both Daniel and Seongwoo to calm down. By then, silence fell again. The cheering from the pub had faded into quiet chattering, and the grounds were as empty as ever except for the two men.

(And Jaehwan and Minhyun, of course, but they were invisible and grateful not to have their presence noticed.)

Daniel had regained his breath. He then dug into his pockets again. “Hey. Guess what I brought with me.”

Anticipation all over his face, Seongwoo asked, “What what what?”

But the anticipation disappeared the second that Daniel pulled out the object from his pocket.

It was a stick. A wooden stick a few inches long. Daniel waved it around like a wand.

Seongwoo raised an eyebrow. “Are you serious?”

“No.” Daniel waved the stick again. “I’m Harry Potter.”

“You mean, ‘ _Harry Pote'."_

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Damnit, that is _so_ old, Seongwoo!”

“It’s still funny, though!”

“No, it’s not!”

“Hey, where are you going? Daniel!”

Huffing, Daniel had let go of his husband’s hand and sprinted a couple meters away. He whirled around, pointing the wooden stick right in the direction of Seongwoo’s surprised face.

Amused, the older man just shook his head, as if saying _‘oh this child’._

Then Daniel shouted, _“Accio Seongwoo!”_

“Wh-Whoa!” Seongwoo let out a dramatic yell and began running towards Daniel. He even added some spins and skidding, as if trying to resist the pull of a powerful magic force. The closer he got, the faster he ran.

He then crashed into Daniel, who could have supported their weight but decided not to.  The “wand” flew out of the younger man’s hand, landing at a safe distance a couple meters away.

With a thud, they both fell onto the snowy ground, laughing in each other’s arms.

 

 

 

 

It was time to head to the next memory. Jaehwan knew that. But he felt hesitant to leave this one— of Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo laughing in the snow— as if staying would somehow freeze everything in this blissful happiness.

He wanted them to be happy. He really did.

It was obvious that unpleasant things would happen in the next memories. Jaehwan could feel it. Not only was it doctor’s intuition, but it was also the clues that he and Minhyun had gathered from the start of their journey up to this current moment.

There was a mystery. A mystery to be solved. But Jaehwan felt that the more they unraveled the mystery, the more agonizing things would get.

He wasn’t looking forward to it. At all.

It seemed that Minhyun felt the same. The older doctor was smiling sadly as he watched Daniel and Seongwoo begin to make snow angels on the ground.

“We really have to go, don’t we, hyung?” Jaehwan said with a tired voice.

Minhyun nodded slowly. “Yeah. We do.” He reached over and gently took Jaehwan’s hand in his. “Let’s go.”

The younger doctor let himself be guided as Minhyun walked towards the direction of their client. They stopped a couple meters away, looking at the ground.

They had both seen it the moment that Daniel brandished it. The flickering across the wooden stick.

Minyhyun crouched down, placing his free hand on the memento.

Jaehwan did the same, allowing himself to listen to a bit more of Daniel and Seongwoo’s laughter and chatter. He didn’t know how long the happiness would last.

_“My angel is bigger than yours!”_

_“No fair, Daniel. You’re bigger than me.”_

Ignoring the heaviness in his heart, Jaehwan closed his eyes as everything went familiarly black.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
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>  
> 
> ___
> 
> also, random fact completely unrelated to the story:  
> (at the Jakarta fanmeet) Jaehwan, Minhyun, and Woojin were playing around with their swivel chairs during the talk session and it was the cutest and dorkiest thing every T___T it started with Jaehwan suddenly spinning in his chair and then he and Minhyun began spinning Woojin's chair and I thought Woojin was gonna freaking FALL OFF or something lol


	7. skyfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little note: I deleted the hiatus notice, so the last story chapter got pushed to the 6th chapter. Saying this just in case some of you may have accidentally missed it :) 
> 
>  
> 
> And yaaay, faster updates.

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 35 years old _ **

 

The first thing that Minhyun noticed was the wind blowing hard in his face.

Really _really_ hard.

He squinted his eyes, blinking, trying to shake off the blurriness. Everything was still white.

“Whoa,” Jaehwan said beside him, letting go of his hand.

“What is it?” Minhyun asked.

“See for yourself.”

“Working on it.”

Seconds later and his vision returned. He saw clouds. Wisps of white clouds spread across the blue sky.

Then he looked down and nearly screamed.

They were on the flat roof of what must have been one of the tallest buildings in the city. The world stretched out in miniature size below him— a clutter of buildings, roads, vehicles, and people that looked like the size of ants. He could faintly hear the sound of traffic below, yet the wind did a great job of drowning it out.

He instantly took a couple steps back, feeling dizzy.

 _Keep cool, Hwang Minhyun,_ he told himself. _Keep cool._

Jaehwan did the opposite. The younger doctor strode towards the roof’s railing— the only thing separating him from a very, very long fall. He looked at the view below.

“Maybe Kang Daniel’s inside the building,” Minhyun said, “This looks like an office building or something— Hey, be careful.” He tried not to freak out as Jaehwan stood on his tippy-toes and leaned forwards on the railing.

“Not inside the building,” Jaehwan answered. He pointed at a spot below. “I remember that park. It’s the park that Daniel and Seongwoo often visit. They hang out there a lot. They’re probably there right now.”

Minhyun walked up to his friend, his eyes following the direction of Jaehwan’s index finger. He recognized the park below. He even went there sometimes.  

It was across the street of the building they were currently on. So close yet so far.

“Let’s go in the building and find an elevator,” Minhyun said.

Jaehwan kept staring at the view below. “Hmm... No, that’d take too long. Daniel could be gone by the time we get down there.”

“We could just pause the memory till we get down.”

“We can’t waste time, hyung. That’d take a couple minutes.”

“Or we can reboot the memory and hope that we land somewhere closer.”

 _And not on the roof of a building,_ Minhyun finished in his head.

“Still a waste of minutes.” Jaehwan continued staring. There was a glint in his eyes. “Hmm...”

“Um...”

Minhyun took a couple steps back again. He knew Jaehwan well enough to know that an idea had popped up in the younger doctor’s mind. An idea that Minhyun would most definitely _not_ like.

And then Jaehwan _smiled_ and Minhyun knew that he should start running.

The shorter doctor quickly pressed a couple buttons on his wristwatch. He then grabbed the building’s railing.

Minhyun watched in horror as the railing flickered, turned a bright white, and disappeared.

Smile turning wider, Jaehwan whirled around to lock eyes with his friend. He held out his hand. “Let’s go, hyung.”

“No.”

“Oh, come on, hyung. You know we can’t get hurt in memories.”

Yes, Minhyun knew. It was one of the first things that Sigmund Corp candidates learned during their first days of training. It was impossible for doctors to be physically harmed in a client’s memory. There were at least a dozen safety measures protecting them from any real injuries.

But—

But it didn’t stop the fact that Jaehwan was casually holding out his hand as if saying “let’s go to the movies, hyung” and not “let’s go jump off this thousand feet building and to the streets below, hyung.”

And the fact that _it was still a freaking thousand feet drop and it would be scary as hell._

“Hyuuung, come on. Don’t you trust me?”

Minhyun sighed. He didn’t see any way around this. And Jaehwan did have a point. It was probably the fastest way down. “I do. A little too much sometimes.”

Jaehwan giggled like a little kid. He ran towards Minhyun, who reluctantly took his hand. “Okay. So on the count of three, we run and jump.”

On any normal day, Minhyun would have been elated to be holding hands with Jaehwan. Especially since Jaehwan was the one that initiated it.

_BUT NOT IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS, GODDAMNIT._

“One...” the younger doctor began.

Minhyun tried not to question his life.

“Two...”

Minhyun tried not to notice how hard his heart was banging against his chest.

“Three!”

And they ran.  

Minyun tried not to think about anything as they reached the edge and jumped, their feet meeting nothing but air.

They fell like rocks.

Jaehwan began laughing almost immediately. It was ear-shattering and loud and would have attracted a lot of attention if only he wasn’t muted to everyone but Minhyun.

Their bodies tipped forwards, as if they were skydiving.

Skydiving without parachutes.

The wind was roaring in Minhyun’s ears, the world becoming a huge colorful, blurry mess as buildings passed by his eyes in split seconds. He didn’t scream. Not a single sound came from Minhyun’s mouth as he simply held tighter onto Jaehwan’s fingers.

In all the chaos, he thought of the people below. The people that had no idea that two invisible men were dropping from the sky— one of them absolutely silent and the other laughing at the top of his lungs.

The ground was getting closer. They continued to fall, gaining momentum.

Soon Minhyun could see the people on the streets, the cars on the roads, the roofs of shorter buildings.

Jaehwan continued to laugh.

The asphalt of the street was right below them— no more than ten meters. Minhyun instinctively closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact.

But of course, the impact never came. They were at five meters when they began to slow down. It was as if somehow had pressed a slow-motion button, and they were floating gently and carefully onto the ground. They were even able to swing their legs forward to ensure that they land on their feet. Meanwhile, the memory around them continued to move at normal speed.

Finally, the two doctors touched the street. Minhyun had yet to regain the strength back in his body, and it seemed that Jaehwan felt the same. The moment they made contact with the ground, their knees buckled and they ended up sprawled all over the pavement.

Luckily, there weren’t that many people, so no one stepped on their faces.

And Jaehwan was _still_ laughing. He was on his side, clutching his stomach with one hand, shoulders shaking.

Minhyun slowly breathed in and out. In and out. _Nice, deep breaths_. He rolled to his side, facing Jaehwan. His voice was hoarse when he finally said, “Next time, I’d rather take the stairs.”

Jaehwan had trouble answering between his giggles. “But, hyung! It... was... so... fun!”

“I think my life flashed before my eyes.”

“It was fun, admit it!”

“You sensation-seeking little brat.”

Jaehwan replied with another giggle.

Minhyun just watched him, waiting for the laughs to subside. The streets remained relatively empty except for a few people passing here and there— thankfully none got close to the two doctors who were still lying on the ground.

Finally Jaehwan calmed down and released Minhyun’s hand. They both climbed to their feet, dusting off their clothes and fixing their windswept hair. Then they focused on the park across the street.

It was in the middle of the city, surrounded by tall buildings and roads. The park wasn’t that big, but it was a nice place with plenty of benches for tired pedestrians, lots of green grass and trees, and even a small playground for kids.

Minhyun and Jaehwan carefully crossed the street, their eyes and ears open for any signs of their client.

They found him shortly after. Daniel was seated in one of the benches near the playground, watching a group of children playing on the swings and slide. It was summer, with the sun blaring above, so Daniel wore a simple t-shirt and jeans. He took a long sip from a red-colored thermos before setting it down next to him on the seat.

“The thermos is flickering,” Jaehwan observed.

Minhyun nodded. “Well, that’s our next memento.”

The younger doctor looked around. “Where’s Seongwoo?”

“Maybe he’s not in this memory?”

They waited. Daniel was silent the whole time, sometimes chuckling when one of the kids did something remotely cute. Five minutes passed and Jaehwan spotted Seongwoo jogging in their direction.

“There he is,” Jaehwan said. Minhyun nodded.

Holding onto a plastic bag, Seongwoo wore the same attire as Daniel. It was a hot day, after all. He plopped down next to Daniel on the bench, and the latter immediately engulfed him in a hug.

“Who wants ice cream?” Seongwoo said cheerfully when Daniel finally let go. He shook the plastic bag in his grasp, rattling the contents.

“You disappeared to look for ice cream?”

“ _And_ some snacks. You get hungry so easily, Niel.”

Daniel grinned brightly. “You’re the best.” He dug into the bag and pulled out an ice cream bar. Seongwoo did the same.

Taking in the view, they ate. It was a peaceful day at the park, with only a few parents and their children. The playground was filled with young boys and girls running around.

A little boy went down the slide, puffing out his chest with pride when he reached the bottom. He turned to look at a tall, bespectacled man that stood a couple meters from him. The man clapped and flashed a thumbs up, saying, “That was awesome, son.” The boy looked even prouder.

Daniel chuckled at the sight. “Cute.”

Seongwoo smiled.  

The ice cream had long disappeared into the depths of their stomachs. They threw away the sticks as Daniel continued to watch the playground and its visitors, a serious look on his face.

“What’s on your mind?” Seongwoo asked, nudging him.

“It’s just...” Daniel trailed off, as if wondering whether to continue or stay silent. “Do you think we’ll ever be like that?” His gaze still remained on the families in front of him— especially on the little boy and his father.

Seongwoo was silent as he rested his head on Daniel’s shoulder. Finally he said quietly, “You really want kids, don’t you?”

Daniel nodded eagerly.

“I do too,” Seongwoo said. “I really do.” He tilted his head to look at Daniel, who had a small, hopeful smile on his face.

But the smile disappeared as Daniel heaved a sigh. “It’d be hard, though. With our hectic schedules and all.”

“Maybe we can manage,” Seongwoo said. “Somehow. You know...” He paused. “There’s an orphanage near here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s really close. There’s boy and girls, some really young. Some a lot older. Maybe... Maybe one day we can adopt.”

Daniel listened carefully as his husband continued.

“This is sad, but... sometimes people would even abandon their babies in front of the orphanage’s door. The orphanage takes them all in. Takes care of them. Hoping for them to get adopted one day. Some of the babies don’t even have names at first. So if they’re adopted at their very young age, the foster parents can even decide on a name for them.”

“Are you thinking of baby names, already?” Daniel asked, his smile returning.

Seongwoo chuckled. “And what if I am?”

“Then I’d like to hear it.”

“Well, if we have a girl...”

“Oh, I know this one,” Daniel cut in. “Your cousin asked us to name our kid after her.”

“I was considering it,” Seongwoo admitted. “But we don’t _actually_ have to listen to her.”

“Doyeon is a really pretty name, though. I like it.”

Seongwoo smiled. “Doyeon it is, then.”

“How about a boy name though? If we have a boy.”

There was a pause as Seongwoo seemed to think it over. Finally he said, “Woojin. Doesn’t Woojin sound like a good name?”

Daniel nodded immediately. “Woojin sounds great!” Smiling, he wrapped an arm around Seongwoo’s shoulders.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Doyeon and Woojin,” Daniel said with a happy sigh. Then his hand suddenly flew to his temple, rubbing it. “Ow.”

Seongwoo sat up straight, looking concerned as he examined Daniel’s face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little headache.” Daniel let out a laugh. “I guess I haven’t been getting enough sleep.”

“You’ve been coming home really late,” Seongwoo said, frowning. “For the past few weeks. I know that your schedule is packed, but you really need to rest more.”

“You too,” Daniel answered, still rubbing his head. “With your new film project and all.”

“We should go home. Get some sleep.” The older man smiled sadly. He took another long glance at the playground, hearing the children’s laughter, seeing their happy faces.

Daniel nodded. “Yeah... In a bit. Let’s stay here for a bit.” He then leaned bent forwards, picking something up from the ground. “Seongwoo, look.”

“It’s a stick. Probably from the tree over there.”

“The kids were playing with these. Waving them around like in Harry Potter. They were saying the spells. For example...” Daniel grinned and cleared his throat, launching into (what he hoped was) a British accent. “ _Accio! Wingardium Leviosa!”_

Seongwoo laughed. “That’s adorable.”

Daniel waved the wooden stick, still in British mode. “Hello everyone, my name is Daniel Kang. Or should I say...” He took a dramatic pause. “...Harry Pote’.”

“I don’t think that’s how you pronounce it.”

“Pote’!” Daniel insisted.

With another laugh, Seongwoo rested his head on Daniel’s shoulder again. “Alright, alright.”

The two stayed like that in comfortable silence. The children continued to play, the sun still high up in the sky.

Jaehwan let out a small sigh. “It’s sad that they never ended up having kids.”

“They even picked out the names,” Minhyun said, and his words felt heavy. “Doyeon and Woojin.”

“I heard a lot about Seongwoo’s cousin, Doyeon. Very famous as well. The name for the boy, though...”

“Woojin...” Minhyun pondered. “It’s a very common name, but it really is nice.”

“Agreed. Just look at our Park Woojin.”

Minhyun chuckled, fondly remembering their friend back at Sigmund Corp: red-haired, snaggletoothed, and always caught in all sorts of mischief. “Really nice name.” He then eyed the thermos next to Daniel’s leg. “Should we go to the next memory now?”

Jaehwan was already crouching in front of the memento, his wristwatch letting out a couple beeps as he expertly pressed buttons. “Yeah. I think we should.”

While Minhyun waited, he glanced at the playground. A little girl, who looked no more than three years old, had tripped on her own feet and fell over. She let out a wail and her father rushed over, examining the small injury on her knee.

Jaehwan followed his gaze. “You want kids too, hyung?”

Minhyun felt his face heat up in less than a second. He turned to stare at his friend. “What—”

The younger doctor laughed as he focused back on the job. “I’m just joking. Minhyun-hyung...” He was cut off as his wristwatch let out a loud, confirmative beep. “Oh, the memento’s ready.”

“Let’s go, then,” Minhyun said quickly, hoping the tips of his ears weren’t noticeably red. He bent down, placing two careful fingers on the thermos. It felt cool to the touch. Maybe Daniel had cold coffee in there or something.

They two doctors were still invisible, but they knew they had to be careful. It was quite weird, really, to be in such close proximity with their client. Minhyun was afraid he’d fall over and bump into Daniel. Or maybe accidentally tip over the thermos. Would Kang Daniel think that his thermos was haunted?

“Next memory,” Jaehwan said, pulling Minhyun away from his thoughts. “Here we come.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 34 years old _ **

 

Ong Seongwoo was wrapped in a cocoon of blankets as sunlight filtered through the window’s blinds. It was a comfortable bedroom, with a table lined up with photographs and a large closet for two people. There were two doors— probably one that led to the bathroom and one that led to the rest of the apartment.

Minhyun knew it was an apartment because he had peeked out the window, seeing the city stretched out below. They were over ten floors up.

“That door’s slightly ajar,” Jaehwan said. “Let’s go look for Daniel. Plus...” He glanced at Seongwoo, who was still dozing off on the bed. “...I feel like a creep watching him sleep like this. I don’t think he’d notice the door opening either.”

“Daniel might, though,” Minhyun pointed out. “He might even be in the living room or something. Let’s just wait a bit.”

And they did wait, for just a short two minutes before the door was nudged open.

Kang Daniel entered, holding onto a plate of sandwiches and a red thermos. He placed them carefully on the bedside table and examined the man still fast asleep.

Then he threw himself on the bed.

Seongwoo let out a surprised yelp as Daniel pounced on him like a large puppy. He was wide awake now, pretending to pry Daniel off of him.

“Wake! Up! Ong! Seong! Woo!” The younger man chuckled and unwrapped his husband from the blankets. “It’s already 9 o’clock!”

Pouting, Seongwoo let out a long, loud whine. “Niel-ah, I’m still sleepyyyy.”

Daniel suddenly sat up, his arms at his side, and Minhyun could actually imagine puppy ears drooping in discouragement.

“Seongwoo... Did you actually forget what day is today?”

At Daniel’s sad tone, Seongwoo flashed a grin and grabbed Daniel’s arm, pulling the younger man on top of him. “Of course not,” he said. “Happy anniversary.”

The smile returned to Daniel’s face. His arms on both side of the other man’s body, Daniel cupped Seongwoo’s face with gentle hands. “Happy anniversary. Thanks for one year of happiness and craziness.”

Seongwoo chuckled as Daniel leaned in, closing the distance.

Minhyun slapped a hand over Jaehwan’s eyes.

“What the— _Hyung!”_

“You’re too young to see this, Jaehwan.”

“What the hell, hyung. You’re only a year older than me.”

“You’re still too young.”

“I’m _twenty-four years old._ And they’re fully clothed—”

“Still too young.”

“Uuugh.”

Daniel eventually pulled away from the kiss, grinning widely. “I made breakfast.”

Seongwoo laughed. “Wow, really?”

“On the table. Your favorite coffee too.”

“Wow.”

“Also, get dressed! We’re going out!”

Jaehwan succeeded in prying Minhyun’s hand off.

“Where are we going?” Seongwoo asked, the excitement evident in his voice.

“It’s a secret,” Daniel answered, his face bright. “You’ll see when we get there.”

“Alright. Wait, before that...” Seongwoo slowly sat up, and Daniel rolled off of him. “Let’s take a trip through memory lane.” He grabbed something from underneath the bed. It was a laptop. Humming cheerfully, he flipped it open and turned it on.

Daniel blinked. “You don’t mean—”

Seongwoo smiled. “Yup.” He quickly opened a file and leaned back against the bed with Daniel nuzzled at his side. They stared intently at the screen, Daniel’s voice playing through the small speakers.

Jaehwan nudged Minhyun’s arm. “They’re watching their music video.”

“Yes... I recognize the song.” Minhyun remembered the video as well. It was a story of two men who stuck with each other through thick and thin, always supporting each other, always there for each other. People had theorized whether the story depicted the close friendship between two friends— brothers perhaps, or maybe the relationship between lovers. It was open for interpretation.

But seeing the two men in front of him now, Minhyun was sure of how Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo themselves interpreted the story. Maybe they didn’t even need to act at all, if their feelings were genuine during the filming process.

“Hmm... I wonder who’s this good-looking fellow.” Seongwoo said, pointing at the screen.

“Ong Seongwoo!” Daniel answered, clapping his hands.

“And who’s this cute and handsome man?”

Daniel wasted no time in answering again. “Kang Daniel!”

With a light laugh, Seongwoo nodded.

“Can you believe this was four years ago?” Daniel said.

“It’s hard to believe, really.”

“Happiest four years of my life.”

Seongwoo was silent, his eyes still fixed on the video until the song faded out and the screen went black. He then turned to Daniel. “We’ll make the next years just as happy.”

Daniel gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Looking forward to it.” He then swung his legs off the bed, stretching his arms. “Let’s go get ready!”

"Right now?"

"I have a lot planned for today, so we gotta start soon!" And with that, Daniel disappeared out the door.

Seongwoo chuckled and grabbed one of the sandwiches from the table. He ate and turned back to the laptop, clicking on a random part of the video. Daniel appeared on screen again, grinning radiantly. A warm smile made its way on Seongwoo's face.

He then closed the laptop, his fingers tapping the hard surface for a short moment. He then reached over for the thermos, bringing it to his lips before taking a long sip. Looking a lot fresher after the coffee, Seongwoo finally rolled off the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

After hearing the sound of the shower running, Minhyun began looking around the room. Only ten seconds passed when he found what he was looking for.

The memento was two rings, placed carefully in their small cushioned boxes on the table near the mirror.

It was something that he had observed the second they entered the first memory. How Kang Daniel’s finger would always glisten with the ring around it. Ong Seongwoo as well— the ring was never absent from his hand.

Jaehwan walked up to him, also staring at the rings. Both doctors had a pretty good hunch at what the next memory was.

Minhyun’s mind was churning. “Hey,” he said, turning to Jaehwan.

“Yeah, hyung?”

“You know, this whole time we’ve just been observers... Just seeing things happen, listening to people talk. But...” Minhyun gestured at the memento. “The next memory... Kang Daniel’s friends will be there. People that have known him for years. They might know something that’ll help us figure out Daniel’s motive for his final wish.”

Jaehwan pondered it over. “We’ll need to interact with them. To ask some questions.”

Minhyun nodded. “Put on your best suit, Jaehwan.” He grinned. “We’re going to a wedding.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things you can look forward to in the next chapters:  
> \- more angst  
> \- some fluff  
> \- the appearance of more characters (including I.O.I girls)  
> \- even more angst


	8. the moments that we spent together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How this chapter ended up being 8.3k words, I also have no idea.
> 
> \--
> 
> Whenever you see **♪♪♪** , please click on it! (open in new tab/window). It's music accompaniment for that part of the story! :)  
>  Also, don't forget to turn off autoplay!  
> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 33 years old _ **

 

Vows were said. Smiles were abound. And the crowd erupted into applause as Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo kissed, their hands interlocked.

It was a wedding under the night sky. A crescent moon peeked from behind thin clouds, along with the stars.

The place was quite large. It was a vast garden of some sorts, with soft grass under their feet and tables and chairs scattered about. There were dozens of light strings hanging from trees and polls, connecting each other, casting a warm glow on the scene below. The alter stood proudly in the front, decorated with flowers just like the ones all around the garden. The newlywed couple was still there, grinning from ear to ear, and Jaehwan felt an odd sense of _déjà vu._

Then he realized that this was the exact moment that was captured on camera— in which the photograph now hung on the wall of Kang Daniel’s house by the sea. He had seen it when he trudged up the stairs.

The feeling was completely different when witnessing it right in front of his eyes. Or witnessing it in a memory, to be exact. Still, he could feel the tenderness of the moment, the flooding emotions.

Beside him, Minhyun said, “There’s Jisung-hyung.”

Jaehwan nodded. “He’s crying.”

Yoon Jisung was, of course, Kang Daniel’s best man. It took a while to recognize him, since the doctors had seen him about twice the age he was at now. As Daniel and Seongwoo stepped off the altar, Jisung began dabbing at his eyes, trying to hold back his tears.

Jaehwan remembered reading articles of the private wedding in which only close friends and relatives were invited. Yet there was still quite the crowd of men in suits and women in dresses, and the two doctors deemed that it was possible for them to walk around without being noticed by both Daniel and Seongwoo.

“After this will be the reception,” Minhyun said. “That’s our chance to interact and try to get as many information as possible. Daniel and Seongwoo will be among them, so we should be extra careful.” He looked around. “Gotta find a place to appear, though.”

Jaehwan nodded. The two doctors were still invisible, still clad in their Sigmund Corp uniforms. They had to quickly get changed and slip into the crowd, so the first thing they had to do was find a safe place to make their appearance. They couldn’t just casually stroll in through the entrance like any other guest— after all, they weren’t invited.

“We could try there,” Minhyun said, pointing to what Jaehwan thought was just a large bush. It turned out to be the entrance of a small, round hedge maze.

“Looks good.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

The two doctors weaved through the crowd, disappearing into the maze and away from sight. They didn’t go in too deep— just enough to make sure nobody saw them when they materialized out of thin air.

“So let’s go over our plan,” Minhyun said, tapping a couple buttons on his wristwatch. His clothes flickered like a broken television screen. “We split up to save time. I’ll pretend to be Daniel’s friend, so I’ll be talking to Seongwoo’s friends and relatives. You pretend to be Seongwoo’s friend, and you talk to Daniel’s friends.” The flickering stopped. His white lab coat had disappeared, replaced by a dark-colored tuxedo suitable for semi-formal to formal occasions— including weddings. His pants and shoes also changed to match the suit. “It’s not like everyone from Daniel’s side would recognize everyone from Seongwoo’s side, and visa versa. There’s bound to be some unfamiliar faces. Er, at least that’s that we hope.”

“If we get caught, we could just restart the memory,” Jaehwan suggested. His clothes stopped flickering as well, and he now wore an attire similar to Minhyun’s. “It’d be a waste of time, though.”

“Yeah. So let’s try our best not to get caught. And also to make effective use of the time we have.” Minhyun took a step towards his friend, trying to pat down the mess that was Jaehwan’s hair. As he focused on the task, he continued to talk. “We need to ask the right questions.”

“Yup.” Jaehwan paused. “Oh, we should also go over the list of Daniel and Seongwoo’s friends and relatives.”

“Okay.”

“For Daniel, of course there’s Yoon Jisung. I know we could ask the real older Jisung himself, but who knows? Maybe young Jisung could remember little details that old Jisung couldn’t.” He then thought for a bit. “Besides Yoon Jisung, there’s also Daniel's close friends. Jinwoo. Jaehan. And Taewoong.”

“As for Seongwoo’s side,” Minhyun said, giving Jaehwan’s hair a final pat. “It’d be a great idea to talk to his cousin, Doyeon. They grew up together and were really close.” Minhyun then began fixing and straightening his friend’s tie. “Doyeon will probably be here with Yoojung, who was also a close friend of Seongwoo. I’ll try talking to them both.”

Jaehwan nodded. “Daniel is 33 years old and Seongwoo is 34. What should we pretend to be? We can’t say we’re their friend from school. Maybe a neighborhood friend? Or a coworker?”

“Yeah, that could work.”

The younger doctor wished that Sigmund Corp technology could also make doctors look older, for the sake of making up stories to fit their needs. But alas, Jaehwan and Minhyun still looked like men in their 20’s.

Then something completely unrelated dawned on him.

“Hyung...”

“Yeah?”

“Did you see Daniel’s father?”

Minhyun shook his head. “No, I didn’t see him yet. But I read that he did attend the wedding. Maybe we just didn’t see him yet.”

“I see.”

“Alright.” Minhyun gently gave Jaehwan’s tie one last tug. He then pressed a button on his wristwatch. “Visibility and audio on.”

Both of the doctors flickered for a split second. They looked exactly the same to each other, but there was a difference. The occupants of Kang Daniel’s memories would finally be able to see and hear them. To interact with them.

“Let’s go, hyung.”

Together, they began to make their way out of the maze. The older doctor then hummed before saying, “Isn’t it a bit weird for people to suddenly come out of a maze in the middle of a wedding? I mean, what would two people be doing in the first place... in a maze?”

Jaehwan shrugged. “I dunno. Making out, maybe?”

Minhyun suddenly stumbled, nearly falling over.

“You okay, hyung?” Jaehwan quickly scanned the ground, trying to find what had tripped his friend. There weren’t any rocks or holes in the ground. What the—?

“Y-Yeah. Just keep walking.”

“You should watch your step more. Anyways, I said _maybe_. I mean, just in case people actually are suspicious. At least we could use that as an excuse.”

Minhyun cleared his throat. “If you say so.”

The wedding party was in full motion by the time the two doctors returned to it. Food and drinks covered the tables, and Jaehwan could see a large wedding cake placed on a round table in the middle of the garden. The guests were scattered about, some seated, some standing and sipping wine, and some roaming around and chatting. Jaehwan could hear a bright, happy song being played live in the background, and it was then that he noticed— oh, there’s a piano?

It was quite crowded. Some people noticed the two doctors, and Jaehwan tensed up for a bit. But no one reacted negatively, so he finally relaxed.

“We need a meeting point,” Minhyun said, glancing around. “The maze again, maybe?”

“Sounds good.”

“We shouldn’t take too long, though. We should finish in half an hour, then get to the next memory.”

“So we should keep an eye out for the memento, too.”

“Yup.” Minhyun patted his friend’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

Jaehwan flashed him a thumbs up. “See you later, hyung.”

And they separated. The younger doctor weaved through the crowd, casually grabbing onto a glass of wine from a nearby table. His eyes roamed, trying to find a familiar face.

A minute had passed when he finally spotted both Yoon Jisung and Joo Jinwoo. They were near the alter, away from the crowd. Jaehwan stood at a safe distance, pretending not to look at the two men.

Jisung was bent over and sobbing in Jinwoo’s arms. Jinwoo patted his friend’s back, saying, “There, there.”

“Daniel, he’s—” Jisung’s voice was muffled as he buried his face in the other man’s shoulder. “He’s all grown up— and getting ma— married.”

“Hyung, these are tears of joy, right?”

“Of— c-course—”

Jinwoo smiled. “Good.” He slowly pulled away, cupping Jisung’s tear-stained face. “I’ll go get some cake. You know how many hours Daniel spent deciding on that cake.”

Jisung nodded. Jinwoo gave him a warm smile before turning around and leaving for his cake-quest. Jisung then let out another sob and hid his face in his hands.

Setting down the glass of untouched wine on the table next to him, Jaehwan took that as his cue to step in. From the same table, he also pulled out a wad of tissues from its box.

He slowly walked up to Jisung till he stood right next to the other man. Then he held out the tissues, a comforting smile on his face.

Jisung looked up, their eyes connecting.

“I thought you could use this,” Jaehwan said.

Staring hard at first, Jisung’s expression quickly softened. He took the tissues, dabbing his eyes with it. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I don’t think we’ve met before.” Jisung’s voice was still slightly shaking. “Are you Seongwoo’s friend?”

“Yeah,” Jaehwan lied. “We lived in the same neighborhood.”

“I see.” The older man held out his free hand, pulling on a smile. “Yoon Jisung. Pleasure to meet you.”

Jaehwan shook his hand. “Oh, so you’re _the_ Yoon Jisung that Seongwoo-hyung always talked about?”

“He talks about me a lot, huh?”

“Yeah. He’d talk about how Jisung takes good care of Daniel like a good mother.”

Jisung laughed, eyes crinkling with joy.

The young doctor thought about how soft and warm Jisung looked when he was smiling. He really did give off these motherly-vibes.

“I’m Jaehwan. Nice to meet you too.” There was no harm in giving out his real name. Jaehwan wasn’t even born yet in this timeline.

“Well, Jaehwan. Now you’ve got me all curious. What else did Seongwoo say about me?”

“He told me about how Daniel-hyung asked for your blessings before they started dating.”

Jisung laughed again. “Oh my. He told you that?”

“Yup.”

“Well, then you know that I gave them my immediate blessing.” Jisung wiped his eyes one more time. “Just like how Daniel’s dad gave his immediate blessing for when Daniel wanted to get married.”

Jaehwan’s ears perked up, though he pretended not to be intrigued. “That’s nice of Daniel-hyung’s dad. I thought that blessings would be hard to get, considering that Daniel-hyung’s a celebrity and all.”

“Yeah... I guess he saw how much Daniel was struggling through his hiatus.” Jisung sighed. “At least, I did. When I saw Daniel with Seongwoo, I—” He sniffled. “I saw how happy Daniel was. Seongwoo made him so happy. Daniel returned to his bright, happy self again after meeting Seongwoo. Maybe Daniel’s dad saw that too.”

Jaehwan nodded. “Speaking of the hiatus...” He treaded on his words carefully. "What happened?"

Jisung paused, staring at him. He frowned. “Why do you want to know?”

“Well, Seongwoo-hyung’s someone _really_ important to me.” Jaehwan said. “I practically grew up with him. I’d like to know more about the man he just married.”

“Uh-huh,” Jisung said slowly.

Jaehwan continued confidently. “And I need to hear it from someone other than Seongwoo-hyung himself. Because of course Seongwoo-hyung would only say good things about Daniel-hyung.” He shrugged. “I just want to make sure Daniel-hyung didn’t do anything shady during those two years.”

“And Seongwoo didn’t tell you about what happened during Daniel’s hiatus?” Jisung asked.

Shaking his head, Jaehwan sighed. “He wouldn’t tell me. I’m even wondering if he knows about it himself.”

There was a silence. The doctor tried to ignore how his heart was pounding against his chest.

Finally, Jisung nodded. “Honestly,” he said. “I thought that Daniel told Seongwoo. But I guess not. Or maybe Seongwoo knows and just won’t tell you about it.”

“Seongwoo-hyung is good at keeping secrets.”

“Honestly again...” Now it was Jisung’s turn to let out a sigh. “I was hoping you’d know.”

“You mean you don’t know either...?”

Jisung shook his head sadly. “Unfortunately, no. Daniel just told me that he needed some time alone and then kind of isolated himself.”

“He needed time alone for _two_ years?” Jaehwan asked.

“Not completely alone. He would always let me visit him at his home. Sometimes I would bring our other close friends. He would sometimes even hang out with us when we asked— or more precisely— _begged_ him to.”

“And during those two years, he didn’t tell you guys anything at all about why he went on hiatus?”

“Well... We tried to inconspicuously pry off the reason for his hiatus, but he would avoid the topic altogether. But at least we were still able to see him and look after him. To make sure he was doing okay.” Jisung suddenly paused.

Jaehwan waited with bated breath. Jisung seemed hesitant on whether to continue or not.

He continued.

“But... during the second year, sometime in November, he was suddenly hard to contact. We tried calling him but his number was deactivated. We tried visiting him at his home but he wasn’t there. We asked his dad but he reassured us everything was fine.”

The barrage of information took Jaehwan by surprise. He wasn’t acting anymore. He was genuinely both confused and concerned.  

“That November... I don’t know, I feel so uneasy about it. Something happened. Same for December, we still couldn't get ahold of him. Maybe he just really needed to be alone and collect his thoughts. Whatever it was, January came and he finally began working again. He then met Seongwoo for the first time, and his smile returned.”

Jaehwan wasn’t sure what to say. He was trying to come up with a suitable reply when Jisung spoke again.

“The reason I’m telling you all this...” The older man looked at him seriously, “...is because I’m _that_ worried for Daniel. I also need to know what happened during his hiatus.”

Jaehwan tried not to shake under Jisung’s intense gaze. “And I’m that worried for Seongwoo-hyung,” he replied.

Jisung’s gaze softened. “You seem close to Seongwoo. Maybe one day he’ll tell you. If he really does know, that is. So if Seongwoo ever tells you anything... Please contact me, okay?”

“S-Sure...”

By the time they had exchanged numbers (Jaehwan using a Sigmund Corp device that resembled a cellphone), Jinwoo had returned carrying two plates of cake.

Jaehwan bowed politely. “I’m Kim Jaehwan, Seongwoo-hyung’s friend.”

Jinwoo nodded in response. “Joo Jinwoo,” he answered, as Jisung retrieved one of the plates. He then shook Jaehwan’s outstretched hand. “I recommend the cake.”

“Yeah, I should get some too,” the young doctor answered.

“Very recommended,” Jinwoo said with a smile, before turning to look at his friend. “Jisung-hyung, Niel’s looking for you. He wants to see you before the first dance.”

“Okay,” Jisung replied. He gave Jaehwan’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “It was nice meeting you, Jaehwan.”

“Likewise,” the young doctor said, as Jisung and Jinwoo politely made their exit.

The two men disappeared into the crowd, leaving Jaehwan alone with his churning thoughts.

Yeah. He had a lot to tell Minhyun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun, on the other hand, found both Doyeon and Yoojung fairly quickly.

Doyeon was a rather loud person, her voice easily heard over both the chattering of people and also the music. Yoojung, in return, would reply with just as much enthusiasm. They wore matching dark blue dresses that reached their knees.

The first thing that Minhyun noticed was their height gap. Yoojung stood on her tiptoes, whispering something into Doyeon’s ear. Doyeon herself bent down to adjust their height, and when she leaned back to laugh, she kept glancing down to keep their eye contact.

Both women were four years younger than Seongwoo. And just like Seongwoo, they gave off a youthful energy that didn’t quite reflect their age.

Minhyun thought that the most natural way to talk to them would be to join them in their current activity— which was eating. Doyeon and Yoojung stood in front of a table heaped with food, next to the wedding cake.

He walked up to them, pretending not to notice them at first. His eyes roamed the table, locating a plate and fork.

“The cake is really good,” a voice said next to him.

Minhyun looked up to see Doyeon grinning at him, a meter away. She waved her spoon, her other hand holding tightly onto a plate. “I think I just finished my third slice,” she continued.

Yoojung’s eyes were also on Minhyun. She blinked, as if assessing him at first.

“Thanks for the recommendation,” Minhyun answered with a polite smile. He then glanced around. “Quite a wedding we have here.”

Doyeon nodded. “Yeah. Can’t believe that old man Seongwoo’s getting married before me.” She shrugged and introduced herself. “Hi, I’m Doyeon.”

“Minhyun,” the doctor answered, grateful that Doyeon was the outgoing type.

“Yoojung,” the shorter girl finally said.

“I know you both,” Minhyun said. And it was true. The two women were quite famous dancers, and people from his generation still knew them for their work. _The Dance Avengers_ , they were called. “I didn’t think I’d meet Kim Doyeon and Choi Yoojung here.”

Yoojung was smiling now.

“Aww well, thanks for recognizing us.” Doyeon took another bite of cake. “So, Minhyun. Are you one of Seongwoo’s actor or model friends?”

Minhyun shook his head. “No, Daniel invited me. We were coworkers together.”

“Ohhhh. You have a model’s face, though.”

Flustered, Minhyun scratched the back of his head. “Th-Thanks.”

Doyeon flashed him a smile. “Maybe you should try auditioning for a model agency. Maybe even at old man Seongwoo’s agency.”

Minhyun chuckled. “I’ll consider it. Why do you keep calling him ‘old man’, anyways?”

With a shrug, Doyeon said, “It’s either ‘old man’ or just plain ‘Seongwoo’. It feels weird to call him ‘oppa’.”

“Seongwoo-oppa,” Yoojung tested.

Doyeon visibly shivered. “So weird! I grew up with him. When we kids and around the same height, people even thought we were twins. And I honestly keep forgetting that he’s four years older than me. He just doesn’t seem... ‘oppa’ material to me." She set down her spoon and empty plate on the table. "But now that he’s old... It just feels right to call him an old man.”

“But he’s a good guy, right?” Minhyun asked. “Daniel would only say good things about him, so I wouldn’t know.”

“He’s a _very_ nice person,” Yoojung said. “When I’m feeling down, Seongwoo-oppa would cheer me up. He can do this weird thing with his ears.”

“He folds them,” Doyeon explained.

“And then unfolds them,” Yoojung finished. “With his own sound effects. He says it’s a talent. Whatever it is, it always cheers me up.”

“He’s been a good person since he was little.” Doyeon looked off into the distance, as if getting lost in thoughts. “When we were kids, we’d fight over little things. Maybe a toy. Or snacks, or something. But he’d give in most of the time, for my sake.” She laughed, face bright. “I remember this... We were still in elementary school... After finishing our classes, Seongwoo came over to play at my house. My mom would give us this big bowl of peaches, as a snack. Seongwoo would crinkle his nose because he didn’t like peaches.” She laughed again. “But he ate them anyways because he wanted to be polite— and he didn’t want to hurt my mom’s feelings. Mom then thought he loved peaches, so she kept preparing more. It was hilarious and cute at the same time.”

“Little Seongwoo would go that far,” Yoojung said with a nod of approval.

Doyeon wiped away an invisible tear. “I’m so proud of him.”

“Then I guess Daniel-hyung is in good hands,” Minhyun said. “Seongwoo-hyung sounds like a perfect man.”

“Far from perfect,” Doyeon said, shaking her head. “We’re all human after all. A human that can be nice, sad, and mad. But trust me, Seongwoo’s an overall good guy.”

Minhyun nodded. “Does he get angry easily, though?”

“Hmm... Angry...” Doyeon pondered.

“I just wanna know about any potential fights that might happen between Daniel-hyung and Seongwoo-hyung,” Minhyun explained, trying to be as casual as possible. “I mean, they _will_ be spending the rest of their lives together.”

“Well,” Doyeon said. “It’d have to be something _really_ bad to get Seongwoo angry. Like I said, he’s a really nice guy. I even accidentally ripped open his stuffed animal when we were kids, but he forgave me easily. Even when we’re already adults, he’d forgive me if I messed up here and there.”

“He’s not the type to hold grudges then?” Minhyun said.

Doyeon shook her head. “No. He’s not that kind of person. He never even held a grudge against his ex-boyfriend.”

Yoojung coughed loudly, but Minhyun had heard it.

“Ex-boyfriend?” he asked.

“Oh shit,” Doyeon muttered.

“I think you had too much to drink,” Yoojung said quietly.

“Yeaaahhh...” Doyeon let out a guilty sigh. “I really shouldn’t be talking to people when I’m tipsy. This dumb mouth of mine.”

“I didn’t know Seongwoo-hyung had an ex,” Minhyun said. “Is he someone I should be worried about?”

“Seongwoo-oppa wants to keep it a secret,” Yoojung said, her face serious.

“Yeah.” Doyeon nodded. “He told me and Yoojung not to tell anyone.”

“Now I’m all worried,” Minhyun muttered, putting on his most concerned face. “This ex sounds like a scary person if Seongwoo-hyung kept it a secret all this time.”

Doyeon was quick to deny. “It’s not like that! It’s for privacy’s sake. He doesn’t want the media all over his ex, so he kept his relationship a secret.”

“The media that will freak out if they hear about this,” Yoojung added. She glared menacingly at Minhyun, and the doctor was surprised how such an intimidating glare could come from someone so small.

“I swear I won’t tell anyone,” Minhyun said. “I swear.”

The two women stared at him, carefully watching his face.

“I’m just simply concerned for Daniel-hyung, that’s all,” he continued. “If Seongwoo-hyung had an ex, that’s fine. I just want to know that the ex won’t do anything bad to Daniel. Especially if they had split on bad terms.”

“Even I don’t know,” Doyeon said softy.

Minhyun blinked. “Wha—”

“Seongwoo’s ex-boyfriend has always been a mysterious figure to me,” Doyeon continued slowly, as if carefully choosing her words. “Seongwoo loved him a lot. But the reason why they broke up... Even he wouldn’t tell me.”

Minhyun nodded, his thoughts running a million miles an hour. “I see... Were they together for a long time, though?”

“They were. They dated for years.” Doyeon furrowed her brow.

“And Daniel-hyung..?” Minhyun said. He had a bad feeling about all this. “Where does he come in?”

Doyeon shook her head quickly. “No, no. Please don’t go having any bad thoughts. They broke up _before_ Seongwoo met Daniel-oppa.”

Minhyun let out a relieved sigh. “That’s good to hear.”

“Five years before Seongwoo met Daniel-oppa,” Doyeon said, a small smile reaching her face, “Seongwoo comes running to me and gushing about this amazing boy that he met. We kind of tell each other everything.” She wrapped an arm around the small girl next to her. “I gush to him about Yoojung a lot. So it’s only fair that I listen to his own love stories.”

Yoojung leaned her head against Doyeon’s shoulder, not saying a word.

“They started dating,” Doyeon continued. “But of course they had to keep it a secret. Seongwoo looked really happy with him. So happy. He’d always come running to me, his eyes bright, as he told me about that boyfriend of his. I honestly wondered when they were going to get married. But... But then something happened.”

“Something...?” Minhyun asked.

“Seongwoo wouldn’t tell me what happened, but he suddenly stopped gushing to me about his boyfriend.” Concern was all over Doyeon’s face as she talked. “I tried asking him about it but he refused to answer. He was really, _really_ sad. But not even once did Seongwoo speak badly about his boyfriend. I even asked Seongwoo if he hated him at that moment, but he said no. He told me how he could never hate him."

Minhyun nodded, the blood roaring in his ears.

"I guess it’s safe to say that they broke up, because he eventually met Daniel-oppa and then dated him.” Doyeon's gaze softened. “And Seongwoo began to smile again.” She then looked around them, at the altar, at the guests, at the lights above. “And now here they are, getting married.”

Minhyun felt that he was treading on thin ice. But he decided to take the plunge. “Seongwoo-hyung’s ex-boyfriend... What was he like?”

Doyeon pursed her lips, thinking hard. Finally she replied, “Like I said before, Seongwoo’s ex was a mysterious figure to me. Seongwoo would always talk to me about him, but...” She paused. “But I never met him myself. Seongwoo wouldn’t even tell me his name. I guess Seongwoo wanted to protect him that much.”

Yoojung nuzzled against Doyeon’s shoulder, and the taller girl smiled gratefully.

“Whoever that person was,” Doyeon said. “He treated Seongwoo well. That I can say. Whatever their reason was for breaking up, I won’t force Seongwoo to tell me. It’s his privacy. It’s his past. He has the right to keep it close to just himself.”

Minhyun nodded. “Of course. I’m sorry if I pried too much...”

“It’s okay.” Doyeon clutched a little tighter onto Yoojung’s shoulder. “Honestly, I think that I said too much.”

“The secret’s safe with me,” Minhyun reassured her.

Doyeon hummed. “Oddly though, I feel that I can trust you, Minhyun. Or maybe I’m just a little too drunk. Either way, I really do hope this conversation stays between us.”

“Also,” Yoojung said, standing up straight. And there it was again, that intimidating glare. “Keep in mind how crazy the public can be these days. And how they react to dating ‘ _scandals’_.” She put an emphasize on the word ‘scandal’, making quotation marks with her fingers, clearly indicating how she felt about it. “If you tell anyone, and the media hears about this... Not only does it have the potential to ruin Ong Seongwoo’s career...”

Minhyun felt a shiver run down his spine.

“...But it might also ruin Kang Daniel’s,” Yoojung finished. “Remember that.”

Minhyun nodded, trying to calm down his heart. “I understand.”

“We trust you, Minhyun.”

Minhyun nodded again.

And then Yoojung smiled. She was once again a small, cute, and bubbly girl. “Great to hear that.”

Clearing his throat, Minhyun was eager to change the subject. He looked around. “So where are the newlyweds now? Daniel-hyung’s not answering my calls.”

“I think they’re preparing for the first dance,” Doyeon said. She glanced at her watch. “It should be soon. After that are the fireworks.”

“Wow, fireworks?” The doctor let out an amazed whistle.

Doyeon laughed. “Yeah, they wanted their wedding to go off with a bang.”

“Literal bang,” Yoojung commented.

“We should have fireworks at our wedding too, Yoojung-ah.”

At Doyeon’s words, Minhyun glanced automatically at their fingers. It was then that he noticed the rings glistening on the two women’s hands. He let out a surprised breath, a smile making its way onto his face. “Congratulations, you two.”

Doyeon grinned. She threw her arms around the shorter girl. “Choi Yoojung is a handful, but I love her so much.”

“Doyeon nearly flung the ring off a cliff when she proposed to me,” Yoojung said with a poker face.

“DON’T TELL HIM THAT,” Doyeon screeched. She then calmly cleared her throat. “Anyways. Like I was saying, she’s a handful. She may have her weird habits of falling asleep on the floor, usually in the living room when she’s exhausted. She may call me occasionally, sobbing and begging me to come home early to kill a giant bug on the well— _while_ I was still in class. And she may be too lazy to take a bath at night, and I’d have to nag her all the time—”

“I’m right here,” Yoojung said.

Doyeon pulled her fiancée into a tighter hug. “—and she sometimes even falls asleep with her makeup on, and I would be the one to wipe the makeup off for her, _while_ she’s still sprawled all over the floor—”

“I’m right here.”

“—But!” Doyeon said, smiling ever so widely. “I love her. And I enjoy all those little moments. So much.”

Yoojung made a pouting face, but she returned the hug. “Admit it. I’m the best roommate ever.”

“You’re the best roommate ever,” Doyeon said.

Minhyun laughed. He couldn’t help it. All of this was reminding him of a certain someone.

Doyeon grinned at Minhyun. “I could tell you more of Yoojung’s weird habits, if it makes you that happy.”

“Please don’t,” Yoojung squeaked.

Shaking his head, Minyun couldn’t help the smile that refused to leave his face. “No, it’s not that. It’s... It’s just that you two kind of remind me of someone.”

“Oooh.” Doyeon’s eyes shined with glee. She put her hands together. “Do tell.”

“He’s, uh...” Minhyun felt the giddiness taking over his body— A normal reaction when he thought about that certain someone. “He’s a mess. On a regular basis, I’d have to nag at him to tidy up and wash up. Bugs freak him out, and I’d have to get rid of them for him. He’s both my roommate and my work partner so we spend all our time together, and...” He trailed off. “People might think that I’m annoyed with him, but honestly... I enjoy the time we spend together.”

Doyeon and Yoojung looked at him intently, urging him to continue with their eager expressions.

“He makes me happy,” Minhyun finished. He realized that he was blushing. Did he actually get that excited? He could only wonder.

“Are you two engaged as well?” Yoojung asked.

Minhyun was glad he wasn’t eating or drinking anything. He would have undoubtedly choked on it. He blushed even harder. “N-No— It’s not like that—”

“Oh, you haven’t proposed yet?”

The doctor was sure that his brain malfunctioned right there. “We— We’re not even dating.”

“Oh.”

Yoojung looked apologetic. Doyeon patted her head, saying, “There, there.”

There was no reason to feel sorry, Minhyun knew. It wouldn’t be the first time someone assumed that he and Jaehwan were in a relationship. _That_ kind of relationship, that is.

Still, it didn’t stop the fact that his heart ached just a little more now that he had admitted it himself— with his own words, his own mouth.

“We’re just friends,” Minhyun said quietly. “Really close friends.”

A silence overtook the three of them. The soft sound of the piano continued to drift over the garden. Finally, Doyeon spoke.

“I know we just met, Minhyun, and I know that I shouldn’t be intruding into other people’s private lives...” She paused. “Whatever you do is up to you. But believe me when I say that there was a time when I was also hesitant. When I was also afraid of what would happen if I told Yoojung how I really felt about her. We were best friends after all, and I was afraid I’d screw everything up.”

Yoojung took her hand, giving it a squeeze. The rings glistened under the glow of the lights above.

“But here we are now,” Doyeon finished with a smile. “Here we are.”

Minhyun didn’t know what to say. But a million thoughts were running in his mind, his heart feeling a million things as well.

“Whatever you do, Minhyun,” Doyeon continued. “Whatever choice you make. Do what you think is right. We’ll support you all the way.”

Minhyun smiled. “Thanks.” And he meant it. He really did.

Doyeon grinned. “There’s that handsome smile! I swear, you should be a model.”

“You’d make a really great model,” Yoojung commented.

Minhyun knew that the tips of his ears were probably very red by then. He hoped it wasn’t too noticeable.

“You’re welcome,” Doyeon then said, grinning widely.

It was at that moment when the people around them erupted in cheers. Minhyun flinched— he had momentarily forgotten that he was in a crowd of people, in the middle of a mission.

He whirled around to see that the guests had formed a large circle. The cheering continued, growing louder as Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo walked towards the center, hand in hand.

Minhyun was tall enough to have a clear sight of it all. Daniel turned to face Seongwoo, a hand on the other person’s back. The piano struck a bright and happy note, and a cheerful song poured over the audience.

Then, the two men began to dance.

In their elegant tuxedos and warm smiles, they looked like a couple straight out of a fairy tale. After seeing Daniel’s complex freestyle choreography during the previous memory, it was quite new to see Daniel dancing to something so simple yet still looking exeptionally graceful. Seongwoo himself seemed to have a talent, as he moved fluidly along with his husband.

And their smiles. Words didn’t need to be said— their gaze was enough to tell the whole world just how in love they were. And Minhyun knew that no matter what happened in Ong Seongwoo’s past, no matter how the relationship he had with his ex-boyfriend and the reason for their separation— _What mattered was now._ Now, where he and Daniel held each other close, the happiest smiles on their faces, holding onto their promises of forever.

Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo were happy. That was all that mattered.

Minhyun let his eyes wander across the crowd, seeing the smiles on other people’s faces. It warmed his heart, and he let the feeling wash over him, just for a little bit.

Then he spotted someone from across the garden, and his heart skipped a beat.

Jaehwan was smiling brightly as he watched Daniel and Seongwoo. He was in the middle of the crowd, and yet... And yet Minhyun found him immediately.

Since when did it become so easy for him to find Kim Jaehwan in the middle of a busy crowd?

Jaehwan had his eyes fixed on the newlywed couple, clapping once in a while like a little kid. Minhyun chuckled. _Someone’s having a good time_ , he thought.

Then Jaehwan glanced in his direction, and Minhyun felt his heart skip a beat again.

 _Promises of forever_ , Minhyun thought in his head. _Huh..._

The younger doctor squinted, as if making sure that he was seeing the right person. Then his smile grew as recognition made its way onto his face, and he waved excitedly.

Chuckling, Minhyun waved back.

Jaehwan pointed at Daniel and Seongwoo, and then clapped again. Minhyun flashed him a thumbs up. Then they both fixed their eyes on the dancing couple again.

The song ended and Seongwoo wrapped his arms around Daniel’s neck, pulling him close. As they kissed, the crowd erupted into cheers yet again.

Minhyun couldn’t help but smile. He glanced over his shoulder to see Doyeon wiping away a tear.

Doyeon caught his eye and blushed. “I’m happy for him,” she said simply. Minhyun understood.

He turned back to the crowd to see that the couple had pulled away, and guests were now pouring into the circle in pairs. A new song started, and the pairs began to move to the music.

Minhyun could hear Yoojung’s soft voice from behind.

“Doyeon, let’s dance.”

There was a happy laugh from Doyeon, and soon the two women passed him, hand in hand. They succeeded in giving Minhyun an encouraging fist pump before disappearing into the crowd.  

Minhyun smiled, mouthing ‘ _thank you_ ’, one last time.

The circle of people was dispersing quickly as guests grabbed a partner and danced. Minhyun made his way around the crowd, his eyes fixed on a single person. They didn’t need to regroup at the maze now that they were right in front of each other.

Seconds later and Jaehwan was gripping onto his arm, squeezing it. “Minhyun-hyung, I have a lot to tell you. I talked to Jisung-hyung. And... Well... He told me a lot.”

“I met Doyeon and Yoojung,” Minhyun said, a little breathlessly. They stood a few meters away from the bustle of people, not wanting to risk anyone eavesdropping on them. “You’ll be surprised at what they told me about Seongwoo.”

Honestly, he felt a little guilty. He _did_ promise Doyeon and Yoojung that he would keep it all a secret— But then again this was just a memory. No harm would be done.

The two doctors then launched into their recollection of Ong Seongwoo and Kang Daniel’s stories. By the end of it, Minhyun’s mind was spinning. He felt dizzy with all the new information, and he wondered if he actually needed to grab onto his friend’s shoulder to keep himself steady.

 _What in the world happened during Kang Daniel’s hiatus?_ he thought. _What could it be that none of Daniel’s friends knew about?_

November, December, January. He needed to remember those months.

“A former boyfriend...” Jaehwan was muttering under his breath. “What...”

“They really did a good job at keeping it a secret,” Minhyun said, trying to grasp onto his thoughts. “The media knew absolutely nothing about it.”

“Yeah, I didn’t even hear any gossip at all.”

“Hmm...” Minhyun had a bad feeling about all of this. His mind was still spinning, going all over the place, forming the worst and farfetched conclusions possible—

 _No,_ he thought. _It can’t be._

“Hyung... What if...” Jaehwan trailed off, hesitating.

“What?” Minhyun urged.

“I dunno, what if... What if Daniel’s father had something to do with Seongwoo’s ex-boyfriend?”

Minhyun froze. It was one of the conclusions that had popped in his mind.

Jaehwan continued. “What if Daniel’s father...  _did something_ to Seongwoo’s ex-boyfriend?”

“You mean, Daniel’s father might have some sort of connection to Seongwoo breaking up with his ex?”

“I dunno!” Jaehwan threw up his hands. “It’s just a wild hunch. It sounds crazy, but it’s just a possibility. I mean, it’d make sense why Seongwoo's so furious with Daniel’s father.” Then he frowned. “But on the other hand, there might not be any connection at all.”

“It could just be two completely separate things,” Minhyun said, though he had the same wild hunches as Jaehwan. Some hunches took a much darker turn. But of course, he shouldn’t even consider them— not when there was absolutely _nothing_ to back up such theories. Minhyun quickly chased away the troubled thoughts. “Seongwoo and his ex were together _years_ before Seongwoo even met Daniel. Seongwoo and Daniel’s father... Their paths didn’t cross yet. There’s no reason at all.”

Jaehwan nodded, his eyes showing how uneasy he was. “Yeah. We shouldn’t even consider this.”

Minhyun agreed. “Let’s just... Calm down a bit.”

“Yeah, hyung...”

“By the way, did you see Daniel’s father anywhere?”

Jaehwan shook his head. “I didn’t. But after talking to Jisung, I got to interact with some of Daniel’s other friends. They told me that Daniel’s father was here for the ceremony— I guess we just didn’t see him. But he left before the reception because he had urgent business to attend to.” He paused. “I highly doubt it, but could that possibly be the reason why Seongwoo’s angry at Daniel’s father? Because he left before the reception?”

“Can’t be,” Minhyun quickly replied. “Doyeon emphasized how Seongwoo was a very forgiving person. He didn’t get angry easily. I don’t think a reason like that would be enough to make him hate Daniel’s father for years.”

“You’re right. There has to be something else. Also, Daniel’s friends told me that Daniel and Seongwoo accompanied Daniel's father to the parking lot before he left. And both Daniel and Seongwoo looked totally okay with him leaving early.”

“I see.”

Jaehwan then glanced around. “Did you find the memento yet, hyung?”

“No, not yet. I looked around before I saw Doyeon and Yoojung, but I didn’t see any flickering objects.”

“So I guess we should look for it now.”

It was then that Minhyun noticed some people glancing in their direction— as if wondering why two people were standing still and chatting while everyone else was on the dance floor.

He shifted uneasily on his feet. A part of him knew that what he was about to do next was for the sake of not drawing suspicion. Another part of him simply just... wanted to grasp onto the chance, wanted to just _do it_.  

Without giving himself time to reconsider, Minhyun looked Jaehwan straight in the eye. He then held out his hand.

The younger doctor blinked. “What?”

“Jaehwan, will you dance with me?”

Silence.

“...What?”

“Dance. With me. It’ll be fun.”

Jaehwan stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. “Hyung, I _would_ ask if you’re drunk. But we both know very well that drinking is prohibited during work hours. Plus...” He stared at Minhyun’s hand. “You don’t drink, anyways.”

“Everyone else is dancing,” Minhyun urged. “We’d stick out if we just stay still like this.”

Glancing around, Jaehwan confirmed his friend’s words. Still, he looked hesitant. “I can’t dance.”

“That’s okay.”

“I’d be stepping all over your feet.”

“That’s okay.”

“It might hurt. Like, a lot.”

“ _Jaehwan._ It’s okay, really.”  Minhyun’s hand still hung in midair. He waited with a composed expression, wondering if his heart was beating at a normal pace.

Then the shorter doctor finally took his hand. A soft grip at first, then a firm one. Minhyun smiled, gently tugging his friend closer.

“Okay, uh,” Jaehwan said, looking at their interlocked fingers, then at their feet, and then finally at Minhyun’s face. He really had no idea what to do with his body. “What now?”

“Well,” Minhyun replied. “For starters, keep holding onto my hand.”

Jaehwan tightened the grip. “Okay. And then?”

“Put your other hand on my arm.”

“Um.” Jaehwan clamped his free hand on Minhyun’s right arm. “Like this?”

“Yup. Now...”

The older doctor launched into a short lesson on how to do the simple box step. Jaehwan stared at him as if he had just given an extremely difficult and complex mathematical problem. Minhyun laughed and held their hands up at a comfortable angle. “Okay, forget that. Just... follow my lead. If I move forward, you move backward. If I move left, you move right. Visa versa.”

“Alright. I trust you, hyung.”

“Okay, then.” Minhyun placed his free hand on Jaehwan’s back, over the shoulder blade. “You ready?”

“No.”

“Here we go.”

And they danced. Somehow. The two doctors kept a slow and steady pace, blending into the crowd of people. At first glance, they actually looked quite decent. But at second glance, one could easily see the mess happening.

“Sorry,” Jaehwan said, after he had stepped on Minhyun’s foot for what must have been the eleventh time.

Minhyun just continued to smile. “It’s okay. You don’t have to keep staring at your feet, Jaehwannie.”

Around two minutes had passed since they started to dance, and the whole time there was zero eye contact as Jaehwan busied himself with looking at the ground, making sure he was placing his foot on the right places.

“If I don’t, your shoes and feet are gonna get murdered by the end of the song, hyung.”

“No, they won’t. They’ll be fine.”

“Really, though—”

“Jaehwan, look at me.”

And Jaehwan did look up, a guilty and uncertain expression on his face. Minhyun held back the sudden urge to pinch his friend’s cheek right there.

“It’s fine. You’re doing fine.”

“Really, hyung?”

“Really.”

Under the younger doctor’s intense gaze, Minhyun tried to pull on his most reassuring smile. Jaehwan was eventually convinced and they continued to move, maintaining eye contact this time.

The song changed. A different person had taken a seat behind the piano, playing slow and gentle notes. The crowd shifted, matching to the tone and pace of the new song.

After minutes of not stepping on Minhyun’s feet, Jaehwan finally relaxed. The tenseness disappeared from his shoulders. His grip on Minhyun’s hand slackened, but still maintaining its firm hold. The two doctors moved more naturally, more calmly. “You know...” Jaehwan said. “This is actually quite nice.”

“Yeah?”

Jaehwan smiled, his face bright. “Yeah.”

If Minhyun had to be honest, it felt that the world around them had suddenly darkened, blurring everything else, the lights illuminating just the two of them. In their own little, happy world.

He smirked, feeling a little playful. Without any warning, he placed an arm around his friend’s waist, bending forwards.

The dip was a simple dance move that should have been very graceful and very romantic. But for Hwang Minhyun and Kim Jaehwan, it was a complete disaster.

Surprised, Jaehwan let out a string of curse words when he lost his balance, almost falling backwards. His feet, though planted on the ground, were useless at this angle. He felt suspended in midair as Minhyun kept a hold on him, an arm around his waist and the other on his back.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck—”

“Language, Jaehwan.”

“Hyung what are you doing oh my gosh I’m gonna fall—”

“It’s called a dip. We’re dancing.”

“I’m gonna—” He let out another shriek as Minhyun _actually_ let him fall, just a little, before catching him again. Instinctively, Jaehwan wrapped both arms around his friend’s neck, as if clinging on for dear life.

“Oops,” Minhyun said, grinning.

“Are you trying to kill me, hyung?!”

“What makes you say that?”

Jaehwan held onto him tighter, face buried in Minhyun’s shoulder. “Is this revenge for not doing the laundry when you asked me to, because if it is then I’m sorry—”

Minhyun laughed. He then stood upright, helping Jaehwan get back steadily on his feet. “Hwannie,” he said. “You won’t fall. I’m not even holding onto you anymore.” And it was true. Minhyun’s hands were laying limp at his sides.

It took a couple seconds for the younger doctor to reassure himself that he was safe. Pulling away, Jaehwan finally released his tall friend. “I never knew dancing could be so dangerous,” he mumbled, glaring at Minhyun. “Can’t we just dance like two normal people?”

“When has anything been normal with us, though?”

Jaehwan hummed, giving it some thought. His expression softened, and a smile made its way to his lips. “True.”

“Not that it’s a bad thing,” Minhyun said reassuringly.

“Not a bad thing at all,” Jaehwan replied.

 

 

   **[♪♪♪](https://youtu.be/QhZVAtRWiXM)**

 

 

The world around them continued to move. People continued to dance, the music continued to play, and the lights continued to shine from above.

And Minhyun tried not to realize how the lights casted a warm glow on Jaehwan’s face, making the younger man look even more gentler than before.

Then he felt Jaehwan take his hand. “Let’s continue our not-so-normal dance. But, hyung, don’t give me heart attacks again, please.”

“I won’t.”

They danced again, with Minhyun leading. And this time, Jaehwan seemed to genuinely enjoy himself. He grinned from ear to ear, excitedly shaking their intertwined hands. “Wow, hyung, I’m so good at this!”

“See? All you had to do was try.”

“I’m main dancer material! I should be in a boy band!”

Minhyun chuckled.

But he grew increasingly aware that the song wasn’t going to last forever. The smile slowly faded from Minhyun’s face. Something came over him. His heart clenched.

He realized very well how he didn’t want small, tender moments like this to end. Realized how comfortable their close distance was. Realized how much he simply didn’t want to let go just yet.

Realized that he had felt this way for the longest time, despite his many attempts of trying to cover it.

“Hey.”

“I know, hyung, I just stepped on your foot again. Sorry. Bye bye to my main dancer life.”

“It’s not that.”

Minhyun wondered what it was that made him suddenly gather the courage that he had desperately been searching for. What it was that gave him the final push.

Maybe it was the atmosphere. Maybe it was meeting Doyeon and Yoojung— two best friends who were now so very happily in love. Maybe it was just the moment, being this close to Jaehwan, holding his hand like this, that made Minhyun sure that he shouldn’t— and _couldn’t—_ hesitate anymore.

“I’ve wanted to tell you something. Since a long time ago, actually.”

Concern made its way to Jaehwan’s face. “What is it? Are you okay, hyung?”

 _I’m more than okay_ , Minhyun thought. And he was sure. He was so sure of what he was about to do. Chasing away any residual hesitation and fears, he pulled on a warm and confident smile.

“Jaehwan, I—”

A noise like a high-pitched whistle cut through the night. It was followed by a large _bang_ and colorful lights suddenly illuminated everything in sight.

Jaehwan jumped, the deafening noise giving him quite a shock. His hand slid off Minhyun’s arm, dropping to his side. He turned to the direction of the sound, and his mouth opened to let out a loud _“Whoa!”_

Fireworks were exploding in the sky. A spectrum of colors, scattered across the black. The sound of subsequent whistles and bangs followed. It was a barrage of them. The display continued, getting brighter and brighter.

People around them cheered and clapped, in awe as they watched the lights.

But Minhyun kept his eyes fixed on the person in front of him. On the person that he knew quite well to be an easily distracted man. On the person whose eyes never lingered for a single second away from the night sky.

Minhyun also knew that it was useless. Knew that his voice couldn’t be heard over the noise.

The fireworks continued to explode. His hand on Jaehwan’s back felt weak and shaky. He let it drop.

But his other hand was still interlocked with the younger doctor’s. Jaehwan continued to hold onto his hand, and Minhyun returned the grip with whatever strength he had left.

At that moment, it was the only thing he could do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Minhyun...  
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> _[added notes: 30/4/2018]_
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> [ BEAUTIFUL to the moon minhwan art by @2m39_ ㅠ_ㅠ ❤❤❤ ](https://twitter.com/2m39_/status/988093679712616452)  
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	9. back then (a flashback or two, part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone. Just a heads up: the angst will get really heavy after this. And will get heavier and heavier with each chapter.
> 
> So before the angst hits, I wanna take this time to tell you all: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the support you guys have given this story! Thank you so much for all the comments, kudos, and hits. I’m grateful for every single one of them! :") They really do drive me forward to write better and faster for you all. You guys are the best ㅠㅠ
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> Now... it’s time for some backstory :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun was twenty-three years old when he first stepped foot into the Sigmund Corp building.

It was a cold winter day in the beginning of January. The snow continued to fall mercilessly from the sky, and he was sure that he’d lost the feeling in his feet the minute that he had exited the bus. As he walked the streets that would lead him to his new potential job, he blew into his hands, trying to warm them.

The city was bustling with activities at this time as office workers and pedestrians, heading over to restaurants and convenience stores for lunch, attempted to fight the cold. Minhyun himself was trying his best to not let the cold bother him in the least.

He turned a corner and there it was— the huge three-story building that was Sigmund Corp. It loomed wide and high, and Minhyun recalled his friend telling him that it had vast underground floors as well. With tinted windows and the wall’s simple white color, the building appeared mysterious and blended well with the snowy surroundings. A tall metal fence encircled the building, giving it a sense of being isolated off from the rest of the world. The company’s name could be seen easily from afar— the capitalized letters large and bold.

Sigmund Corp being in the heart of the city, Minhyun had passed it many times. Perhaps when he was going to a destination nearby, or perhaps just passing by on a bus.

But today would be the first time he went inside the building itself.

The snow crunching under his feet, he finally reached the gate. The security guard asked for his identification card and documents, which he quickly complied.

“New recruit?” the guard asked.

Minhyun nodded.

The guard looked through the papers, voice gruff as he said, “Good luck, kid. I see a lot of people coming and going these days. The selections are brutal, I hear.”

 _How encouraging,_ Minhyun thought with a forced smile. “I’ll do my best.”

“Some people even run out while sobbing their eyes out.”

“I’ll try my best not to be one of them.”

“Alrighty.” The guard handed back the card and documents. He then tipped his hat. “See ya, kid.”

“Have a lovely day, sir.”

Minhyun continued to walk. By then he noticed the crowd of people that were also making their way towards the building. He saw a few people in front of him, and the noise of crunching snow coming from behind signaled that there were also people at the rear.

But he kept his eyes fixed on the double doors of Sigmund Corp, wondering how much his life would change after this day.

It was quite a walk. The gates were reasonably far from the building itself. A couple of company cars passed by on the snowy road that led to the parking lot.

His thoughts began to wander.

Minhyun remembered how long it took for him to actually consider working at Sigmund Corp. It was an old company, dating back years and years ago. But it was only after he had graduated one year ago that he began to wonder if he should give it a chance. With a degree in psychology, he had worked at a previous firm as part of the human resources department. It was a great job with also a good pay— his rented apartment being proof of the job’s more than sufficient wage.

But then the name of Sigmund Corp began to rise. It seemed that even though it was an old company, the public just began voicing their opinions about it. There were relatives of deceased loved ones that told stories to the world— stories of the Sigmund Corp services.

Of how before passing away, the patient would smile. A smile that showed that their wish had come true, right before death.

With the Sigmund Corp technology, past regrets could be erased. Long-forgotten hopes would be rekindled and fulfilled. And a life that the patient never had— they would experience that and even more.

Minhyun wanted to be a part of all that.

Not only did he have a large desire to help people, he was also interested in the technology itself. He wondered how exactly it functioned to be able to produce such vivid memories— memories so vivid that patients believed in them without a doubt.

He had a friend who knew exactly what he wanted to know about the mechanisms of the Sigmund Corp machines— the same friend who had told him of the company’s many underground floors. Because that certain friend worked in them himself.

But information about Sigmund Corp’s technology was classified to outsiders. And Minhyun’s friend was a responsible and loyal man, not telling him anything more than the fact that the underground floors housed the company’s science and tech department— with its many labs and machinery.

So with a desire to help people, a natural curiosity, and also his friends’ encouragements (two of his friends were currently working there, and another was even interning), Minhyun finally decided to apply as a doctor candidate at Sigmund Corp.

And now here he was, with the building and its entrance plainly in view.

It was eerily silent. All he could hear was the sound of car tires on pavement and snow crunching underneath the footsteps of dozens of people.

But then something pierced though the silence. Not in a surprising and unpleasant way. Quite the opposite.

It was singing. Someone was singing.

 

 

_Black dust in orbit_

_Cascades down like a parachute_

 

 

Minhyun’s ears perked up. It was a pleasant and gentle voice. A male voice, somewhere far behind him.

 

 

_Bricks on my shoulders_

_This gravity hurts when you know the truth_

 

_Not a very uplifting or bright song,_ Minhyun thought. But despite the song’s lyrics, the man sang softly and with tender care— in a somewhat calming way.

And Minhyun did feel calm, allowing himself to listen to the singing as he continued to walk. He recognized the song. It was Gallant’s _Weight in Gold._ After the first chorus, Minhyun wondered if the man would sing until the end.

But then the voice stopped, and he found himself feeling a little disappointed.

Silence fell again. But only for a few seconds. Soon it was filled with the sound of running footsteps— getting faster and faster and closer.

And then someone ran past Minhyun, and the latter managed to steal a quick glance.

It was only a split second— but Minhyun saw a young man with brown hair and round cheeks, running past with a bright smile on his face.

A split second later and all Minhyun could see was the man’s back and messy hair, and the bag that hung over his shoulders. Minhyun continued to watch until the brown-haired man entered through the company’s automatic doors, disappearing from sight.

Minhyun glanced over his shoulder, eyes landing on a crowd of men and women walking at a steady pace. He wondered if the singing had originated from one of the men, or perhaps from the boy that had run past him a few seconds ago.

 _Oh well,_ he thought. Turning back to the building, his gaze became more serious. _Here we go._

 

 

 

 

 

The inside of Sigmund Corp was as big as he thought it would be, and he only saw the ground floor.

Upon entering, a large elevator greeted him immediately. He wondered how many floors it led to, and even wanted to steal a glance at how many buttons it had. But sadly, he had been ushered to the interview rooms the second that he stepped through the automatic doors.

The interview went fairly well. Minhyun answered honestly and as smartly as possible. The interviewers pored over his documents, giving a few nods of approval here and there, asking him about this and that. By the time it was all over, an hour had passed.

“You look highly qualified,” one of the interviewers said, also telling him that he’d be informed if he passed the initial selections. Minhyun bowed and exited the room, his mind running all over the place.

Pulling out his phone, he sent a message to one of his closest friends, informing the other that he had finished the interview.

His phone rung a minute later. Smiling, Minhyun answered.

“Hey, Jonghyun. You’re on break now?”

His friend answered with enthusiasm.

_“Minhyunnie! Yeah, I just got on break five minutes ago. How was the interview?”_

“Great. They said I was qualified. But they’ll tell me if I made it a couple days from now.”

_“Nah, you’ll definitely make it. So I guess this means we’ll be working at the same place now.”_

Minhyun chuckled. “We’ll see. So we’re all gonna meet up at the cafeteria as planned?”

_“Yup, I’m walking there right now with Nayoung.”_

Another familiar voice came from the speakers.

_“Minhyun, congratulations!”_

Minhyun’s smile grew. “Nayoung, I’m not accepted yet.”

_“You’ll get in. Trust me.”_

“I hope so.” Suddenly, there was a crashing sound on the other end. Minhyun blinked, furrowing his brow. “What was that?”

 _“Um...”_ It was Jonghyun’s voice again. _“There’s a pair of new interns and they’re kind of too excited to be interning. Kinda causing a little havoc here.”_

“Is someone hurt?” Minhyun asked, concerned.

_“No, they’re fine. But me and Nayoung are gonna try to fix up this mess for a bit. We’ll see you at the cafeteria.”_

“Okay.”

“ _I think Kyulkyung’s at the cafeteria right now, though. She went there a few minutes ago.”_ There was another crashing sound.

“I hope those interns are okay,” Minhyun said.

Jonghyun let out a sigh. _“I hope so too.”_

And the line went dead.

Minhyun looked around, seeing men and women in white lab coats. Some other people— other recruits possibly— were walking about in their usual civilian clothes. Closed doors could be seen across the hallways and Minhyun knew that he was prohibited to go into any of them.

Recruits had clearance to explore at least a portion of the ground floor, including the small cafeteria. And that was where he went.

It _really_ was a small cafeteria. Perhaps the employees preferred to look for food in the nearby restaurants or maybe the convenience store. He was buying lunch when someone clasped him on the back.

“Minhyun-oppa!”

Minhyun glanced over his shoulder, seeing a familiar face smiling up at him. He smiled back. “Hey, Kyulkyung. How’s your interning so far?”

Joo Kyulkyung looked bright and full of energy as usual. Over a white dress shirt, she wore the intern ID card on a necklace. “It’s fun. I think I might end up working here after I graduate.”

“We might as well drag Dongho, Minki, and Aron-hyung here too.”

With a light laugh, Kyulkyung nodded. “The old gang back together, eh?”

Minhyun smiled. “Yeah.”

They took their seats at a nearby table while the room quickly filled up with both employees and recruits. Jonghyun and Nayoung joined them shortly after.

The room was alive with chattering by then. Minhyun was vaguely filled with a sense of nostalgia. It felt like they were back at campus, discussing random things at one of the many cafeterias. Or stressing out over piles of assignment.

Jonghyun held up a glass of water as he said, “Today is the day we celebrate Minhyun’s first day as a Sigmund Corp doctor.”

Minhyun let his friends do their cheers, even though of course, he had yet to receive news on whether he even passed the first selections— let alone being a doctor.

The lunch break only lasted an hour. They used the time they had to catch up with each other.

“So how’s life as head of the science department?” Kyulkyung asked, nudging Jonghyun who sat by her side.

“We just had a breakthrough,” Jonghyun said, a satisfied smile making its way to his face. “We’re fixing up a couple of major glitches and developing some new things too.”

“More details please!”

Jonghyun laughed. “You know the rules, Kyulkyung. It’s classified.” And they watched as the youngest of the four pouted.

It was admirable, really, how Kim Jonghyun rose high up in the ranks with his hard work and determination. Minhyun wasn’t surprised, though. Jonghyun had shown his leadership skills throughout his life.

Kyulkyung then focused her eyes on Nayoung. “Congrats on your promotion too, unnie!”

Nayoung smiled. “I think this is the eleventh time you congratulated me.”

Another not-surprise was Im Nayoung rising as head of the investigation team at Sigmund Corp. Just like Jonghyun, Nayoung was a natural born leader. Minhyun remembered how their group of friends would comment that if Jonghyun and Nayoung were to get together, they would be an absolute power couple. (“So powerful to take over the whole world!” Choi Minki had said, flailing his arms for effect).

Unlike Minhyun, both Nayoung and Jonghyun applied to work at Sigmund Corp right after graduating. They easily made it through the company’s selections, afterwards rising high in the ranks of their respective departments.

It was a strange feeling. Minhyun remembered when they all wore their graduation gowns and caps together— one long year ago. And now here they were, with Jonghyun and Nayoung wearing the signature white lab coats of Sigmund Corp, and Minhyun in his usual attire— though slightly more formal for the sake of the interview.

Time really did fly by fast.

Minhyun smiled. “Everything okay in your department?” he asked.

Nayoung nodded. “It’s an old case, but we’re working on putting an end to it.”

“Is it the same one you told me about before?”

Another nod. “We’re getting to the roots of it.”

It was an old case indeed, dating back years ago. A group of Sigmund Corp employees had decided to leave the company, bringing along both data and knowledge about its technology. They began exploiting and modifying that technology for their own purposes, and even starting an illegal business. It worried Minhyun to imagine his friend investigating something so shady.

“Be careful,” he said, hearing the concern in his own voice. “Don’t do anything dangerous.”

“Don’t worry,” Nayoung replied. “I make sure to take as many precautions as possible, for the safety of the team. But really, we’ve got a couple of new leads as well and I feel that we’re getting closer and closer.” She paused. “We’ll catch them. I’m sure of it.”

Although she spoke with a somewhat firm yet flat tone ( _Stone Nayoung_ was her title, indeed), Minhyun knew her well enough to sense the determination in her voice, and the fire in her eyes. Nayoung had her mind set on the problem at hand, and Minhyun knew that she would get to the bottom of the case soon.

“But you really should be careful, Nayoung,” Jonghyun said quietly.

“Don’t worry. The team and I will be fine.”

Minhyun noted the concerned look on Jonghyun’s face. With a knowing smile, he took a sip of water before turning to his youngest friend. “So. Kyulkyung. Do tell us about your intern life at Sigmund Corp.”

“Like I said, it’s really _really_ fun so far.” Kyulkyung clasped her hands. “I’ve been sorting through a lot of documents, and it’s really interesting to hear all kinds of stories from the employees. The doctors go through a lot of peculiar things during their jobs.” She then stifled a laugh, as if remembering something funny. “Also, there’s a pair of new interns and they’re great.”

Minhyun cocked an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Hmm... Where to begin. First off, they’re—”

Just then, a high-pitched loud cackle echoed around the room, followed by other laughter that was not quite as crazy as the first (but still particularly loud). Minhyun nearly jumped in his seat at the sound.

Kyulkyung grinned. “Well, speak of the devil.”

As the laughter continued, Minhyun whirled around in his seat, facing the direction of the noise. What he saw made him do a double-take.

It was the boy that he had seen outside the Sigmund Corp building— the boy with the brown hair and round cheeks. Now that Minhyun had a clear view, he could see the other person’s face. Eyes closed in the shape of crescents due to laughing so hard, the boy was bent over and giggling into his hand. He was seated at a crowded table on the other side of the room. Filled with laughter and chatter, the table was loud indeed.

“Who’s that?” Minhyun asked. “The one laughing really loudly.”

Kyulkyung was also glancing in the same direction. “The one with the red hair? That’s Park Woojin, the intern.”

“No, I mean the one with the brown hair.”

“That’s the other intern, Park Jihoon.”

“No no, I mean the one sitting between Park Woojin and Park Jihoon.”

“Ohhh. Hang on.” Kyulkyung paused for a bit. “I was sorting through the recruitment documents. His face was on one of them. He’s a new recruit like you, oppa.”

With a nod, Minhyun asked, “What’s his name?”

“Jaehwan. Kim Jaehwan.”

Minhyun watched as Jaehwan asked Woojin a question. Woojin replied with expressive hand gestures, with Jihoon adding in a few things here and there. Minhyun couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it must have been funny because Jaehwan was sent into another hysterical laughing fit. Both Woojin and Jihoon then began laughing as well.

“Ah,” Jonghyun then said. “Those are the two interns that caused a bit of a mess just a few minutes ago.”

“The one you were talking about on the phone?” Minhyun asked, his eyes still on the loud table.

“Yup. The two Parks.”

“What happened?”

“Let’s just say that they saw something interesting and accidentally dropped it.”

Minhyun blinked. “...I see.”

“They’re like a pair of mischievous twins.”

“Or mischievous boyfriends,” Kyulkyung suggested.

“Possibly,” Jonghyun said with a shrug. “As long as mischievous is in the description.”

“They’re really fun, though,” Kyulkyung said. “I talked to them for a bit and they’re really great.”

With a final glance at the brown-haired boy and his growingly obnoxious laugh, Minhyun turned back to his friends. He rested his chin on his hand, muttering, “I guess life at Sigmund Corp will be interesting with all of us here.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Life at Sigmund Corp was, indeed, extremely interesting.

Just like his friends had predicted, Minhyun passed the first interview. He then returned to the Sigmund Corp building for subsequent interviews and psychological tests, along with health checks and various paperwork.

A week later and the official training started. In a way, it was kind of like going to college all over again. He would wake up, go to Sigmund Corp for a few lessons about the technology and how everything worked, he would write down notes and ask and answer questions, and then he would go home. For the first few days it was like that— every day of the week. The place where the lessons took place even resembled a classroom.

What he noticed on the first class was a familiar person sitting next to him. Minhyun remembered his name well.

Kim Jaehwan was seated at the desk right next to him. The young man had a serious look on his face as he listened to the instructor, jotting down a few notes, sometimes biting his bottom lip in concentration.

Minhyun glanced a few times at the shorter man, but didn’t think too much of it. Jaehwan was, after all, just someone who ran past him on the way to the building, and someone who had a very _very_ annoying laugh. They had never even spoken to each other yet. Jaehwan had given him a polite smile when they first entered the room, but the lesson started soon after that, giving no time for small chit chat.

Writing down on his notebook as well, Minhyun listened intently to the instructor’s words.

"During the procedure— or _operation_ , some would say— a patient relives their memories. They slip into the image of their young selves—the young selves that you as doctors would meet and interact with.” The female instructor paused and looked at the room full of potential doctors. She then continued. “They feel what happens in the memories, including emotions and everything as they happen, and they will act accordingly to how they truly feel as well. The patient experiences things just like the doctors do. So to you all, please be nice to your patients. Don't be rude."

There were a couple of nods from the doctor candidates.

The instructor then pointed to the screen located at the front of the room. On it was the image of a man with a metallic helmet covering his head. “The duration of a memory alteration procedure varies. Some procedures are short and only last for a couple hours. It could be finished in a single night. But some procedures could last for days, weeks, even a whole month.”

Murmurs were spreading across the room as the candidates looked both confused and a little shocked. Minhyun heard somebody whisper, _“Being in the machine for a whole month?”_

Holding up a hand for silence, the instructor continued. “Of course, doctors need to eat and do other things a normal human being needs to do. Because of the long duration of the procedure, doctors would need to resurface to the real world quite often. The food that doctors may consume in the memories aren’t real food, after all. They’re just sensations for a doctor to feel, but not actual substance. Your real bodies would still get hungry. Hungry and tired. Although it may appear that doctors are fast asleep with the helmets on their head, they’re not sleeping at all.” She pointed at the screen again. “Their minds are still working hard and actively. You could say that they’re still conscious... conscious in the memories. So for long procedures— the ones lasting for days and even weeks— doctors would need to constantly resurface to also get some real rest.”

Everyone was silent as they listened intently.

“Doctors can’t get hurt in memories. Your real bodies won’t get affected by what happens in the memories. But, I warn you, it is important to finish the procedure as soon as possible. If a patient dies while the doctors are still connected— that is, they haven’t resurfaced yet— it could send a shock to the doctors. A real, physical shock. Now _that_ would be dangerous.”

The lesson continued on for the next hour. By the end of it, Minhyun had already filled ten pages of his notebook. His wrist also hurt from all the writing.

After the instructor left, Minhyun turned to look at Jaehwan. The shorter man was staring at the front of the room, in a daze.

Minhyun couldn’t help but chuckle. Jaehwan had that look of a student who had received an extremely long and difficult lesson, and was trying to process as much information as possible.

People were already standing up from their chairs and exiting the room. Jaehwan continued to stare blankly.

Still smiling, Minhyun decided to talk to him. “You okay there?”

Jaehwan jumped in his seat, as if remembering where he was and what he was doing. He then turned to Minhyun, blinking a couple times before answering. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Lots of information to take in, huh?” Minhyun said. He noticed how Jaehwan had a really nice voice.

Jaehwan nodded. “I didn’t expect the first day to be this hectic.”

“It’s alright. My head’s spinning too with all the new info.”

At Minhyun’s words, Jaehwan grinned. “Then I guess we’re on the same boat then.”

After a short moment of thought, Minhyun held out his hand. “I’m Minhyun. Hwang Minhyun.”

Jaehwan’s smile grew as he took the other’s hand, giving it a firm and enthusiastic shake. “I’m Jaehwan! Let’s work hard on becoming doctors!”

Minhyun smiled back. “Let’s.”

He had expected candidates to be competitive and a little wary of each other. The selections to be a Sigmund Corp doctor was, after all, extremely brutal (as he had heard from a certain security guard and also from various anecdotes). But here was Jaehwan, spreading his positive energy and encouragement.

Suddenly, two voices joined them.

“Jaehwan-hyung!”

“Hyung!”

Minhyun looked up to see Park Woojin and Park Jihoon standing in the doorway. The room was already empty of other candidates.

Woojin waved from afar. “Hyung, are we gonna get dinner or what?”

“Hyung, I’m hungry!” Jihoon said, clutching his stomach.

Jaehwan laughed. “Yeah, yeah! Wait!”

“Your friends?” Minhyun asked.

“Yeah. After the first interview, I met them on the way to the cafeteria. They’re great.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep them waiting,” Minhyun said, slipping his notebook into his bag. Wow, he really did feel like a college kid all over again.

“You wanna join us?”

The sudden offer took Minhyun by surprise, for just a bit. “No, it’s fine. My head’s hurting a little so I think I should get some rest.” He had tried to ignore the headache that had started in the middle of the lesson. Maybe he didn’t get enough sleep last night.

“Aw, okay. Hope you feel better tomorrow.”

“Hyuuuuung!”

“Jihoon’s gonna turn into the Hulk if he doesn’t get food soon, hyung!”

Jaehwan stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Alright, alright!” He gave Minhyun another wave as he made his way to the front of the room. “It was nice meeting you!”

“It was nice meeting you too, Jaehwan.”

Minhyun watched as Jaehwan slung his arms over both Woojin and Jihoon’s shoulders, leading them out into the hall. He could hear their voices echo across the room.

“Alright, you two rascals, where do you wanna eat?”

“I’m in the mood for extra spicy ramyeon.”

“Jihoon, do not.”

Glancing at his watch, Minhyun saw that it was already well past six in the evening. He stood up, already eager for his bed and hours of well-deserved sleep.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Weeks passed. And then months. Minhyun learned more and more about the company and the lives of a Sigmund Corp doctor. Soon, the doctor candidates would go through their first simulations— which would also be the test that determined whether they were capable enough to continue or would be cut from any further selections.

Minhyun met Jaehwan often during those months of training, but not often enough to actually know him that well. From the schedule that Sigmund Corp had given them, there were few moments where they were at the same place at the same time. There were, after all, hundreds of doctor candidates.

But from the short time and brief conversations that he had with Jaehwan, he learned a couple things about him.

Jaehwan was a year younger, was also a psychology graduate (from a different university), and was a very _very_ loud person.

Kim Jaehwan was the owner of what must have been one of the world’s most hysterical laughs. Back at the cafeteria, Minhyun had already thought it was loud from all the way across the room. Having Jaehwan laugh right next to your ear, on the other hand, was something entirely different.

To be frank, Minhyun felt that his eardrums were going to explode at that moment.

It wasn’t just that. Jaehwan had certain tendencies when he was feeling excited. Sometimes he would speak really fast. Sometimes he would trip over his own feet. (Minhyun never thought that it was actually possible. But the second that he saw Jaehwan’s left foot stepping over the right foot, causing the young candidate to actually _stumble_ , Minhyun was proved wrong.)

And Jaehwan was messy. It was something that Minhyun had discovered on the third month of training, just a couple weeks before the first simulations.

 _And_ it wasn’t the only discovery of that night.

That certain and momentous night, Minhyun was bent over his laptop, eyes glued to the screen as he typed. Most of the Sigmund Corp employees had returned by then, only leaving behind a few people who were determined to finish up their work before heading home.

It was ten minutes past nine when Minhyun finally finished up his report. It was mandatory for doctor candidates to submit a report of their progress by the end of each week, and Minhyun felt that he worked faster when in the Sigmund Corp building itself.

He packed up his laptop, rubbed his eyes, and began making his way to the elevator. Most of the little work station rooms were already empty, including the one he had been working in for hours. He passed a couple of them before reaching the elevator.

He pressed the elevator button that would take him downstairs, yawning a little while he waited.

And then he heard the singing.

 

 

_I think I’m drowning_

_Asphyxiated_

 

 

The voice wafted through the empty halls, echoing and ringing in his ears. He recognized the voice. During the hectic weeks of training, he had tucked it somewhere in the back of his mind. But now that he heard it again, he was brought back to the first day he walked towards the Sigmund Corp building— where a soft singing voice calmed down his nerves and uneasiness.

It was the same voice. He was absolutely sure of it.

 

 

_I want to break the spell_

_That you’ve created_

 

 

The elevator had reached his floor by then, accompanied by a small _ding._ He ignored it, instead choosing to whirl around and chase the direction of the voice. All sleepiness was gone by then.

 

 

_You’re something beautiful_

_A contradiction_

_I want to play the game_

_I want the friction_

 

 

He had reached the other end of the hall, coming upon a dimly lit room filled with cubicles. A couple of people were still seated there, typing away furiously at their laptops.

And in front of him, Minhyun saw the back of the man who sang, seated a couple of meters from where he stood. The owner of the voice he had been quietly curious about.

It was dark. The lights were barely on and Minhyun had trouble adjusting his eyes to the darkness. He could barely even make out the person that was in front of him. All he saw was a silhouette against the bright yet soft light of a laptop.

But it was okay. Minhyun leaned against the doorway, listening to the young man sing. It seemed that the other occupants of the room didn’t mind the singing either, some even tapping their fingers to the slow beat of the song.

 

 

_You will be_

_The death of me_

_Yeah, you will be_

_The death of me_

 

 

Minhyun couldn’t hold back anymore. With a smile, he spoke.

“That’s quite a voice you got there.”

The man jumped in his seat, ending the song abruptly. Then he turned around to face Minhyun.

What Minhyun saw made his jaw drop. He suddenly felt like turning on his heels and running in the opposite direction, far far away from there.

_“Kim Jaehwan?”_

Jaehwan had a huge grin on his face, giving a little wave. “Minhyun-hyung! You’re here too?”

“You were singing,” Minhyun said, as if it wasn’t obvious. He was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact.

“Yup. I really like that song. Muse is my muse.”

“I— Um. You—” Minhyun was trying to form proper words. He wasn’t usually like this. Finally, he blurted, “You’re really good at singing.”

The grin on Jaehwan’s face grew, his eyes crinkling into crescents. “Thanks!”

In a way, Minhyun wondered why he didn’t realize it before. Maybe because he only heard Jaehwan sing for an extremely brief time during their first day at Sigmund Corp, or maybe because he was too focused on Jaehwan being loud and noisy— that it overshadowed the fact that Jaehwan had a really soft voice that sounded just like the soft voice that sang _Weight in Gold_.

Whatever the reason, now he knew who the owner of the voice was. It was Jaehwan. Kim Jaehwan, who was now smiling happily right in front of him.

Minhyun was then aware that he hadn’t spoken for seconds. He cleared his throat. “You’re not going home yet?”

Jaehwan shook his head. “No, not yet. I wanna finish this up first.” He pushed himself back on his wheeled chair, gesturing to the laptop on the desk.

But what Minhyun focused on wasn’t the laptop. He was focused on anything but the laptop.

Jaehwan’s desk was a _total_ mess. There were at least two empty cups of coffee with the lids off, and they were both lying on the sides. Minhyun even saw some leftover coffee that had spilled onto the wood below. It wasn’t just that. There were papers scattered _everywhere_ , some piled on top of each other, some crumpled up and lying at random spots on the desk. Various writing utensils also accompanied the already messy sight— pencils, pens, and erasers spread out.

And it wasn’t just the desk. Minhyun also saw Jaehwan’s backpack lying by his feet, its contents spilling out through the unzipped opening. Some stray papers— that probably fell from the desk— also surrounded the backpack.

It was all a horrifying sight for Hwang Minhyun. He just could not— simply _could not_ — tolerate such a sight. It sent shivers down his spine, caused his fingers to twitch. He wanted to dive in there and tidy everything up until it was all nice and organized and not all over the place and—

“I found that singing helps me when I’m writing,” Jaehwan was saying, slightly cutting through Minhyun’s thoughts.

Minhyun nodded stiffly, forcing on a smile. How in the world did Jaehwan even manage to work in that disaster? “Yeah. Working hard on your report, I see.”

“You finished yours, hyung?”

 _Even though it hurts, I smile,_ Minhyun was internally screaming. “Yeah. I just finished a couple minutes ago.”

Jaehwan hummed. “Must be nice.”

“You still have a lot to write?”

“Nah, just about another two pages then I’m done.”

“That’s great. You should go home soon. It’s getting really late.”

_And clean up that mess, quickly._

“Yeah, hyung. I will.”

Minhyun couldn’t stand seeing the clutter anymore. But he held himself back. He wasn’t that close to Jaehwan to actually be touching and organizing his belongings. He didn’t want to come off as rude.

So he just continued to smile and quickly said, “Well, I guess I’ll get going. Good luck on your report, Jaehwan.”

“Thanks, hyung!”

“Oh, and...” Minhyun had located the light switch on the wall next to him. Although he was itching to leave quickly, he was still concerned with the fact that Jaehwan and the room’s occupants were bent over bright laptop screens in the dark. “I’ll turn on the lights, okay? You guys are gonna hurt your eyes if you continue working like this.”

Jaehwan looked around. “Ah. We were all in here since the evening. I guess none of us realized how dark the room got. Or even saw the sun setting.”

Minhyun sighed. “This is really unhealthy. I’m turning on the lights.”

“Hyung, wait—”

Minhyun flipped the switch, and bright light filled every nook and cranny of the room. Jaehwan shielded his eyes, and Minhyun could hear some other people screaming _“My eyes!”_ and _“I’m blind!”_ and _“Aargh!”._ He even heard someone hissing.

Jaehwan, squinting his eyes and letting them adjust, whispered, “I think we’ve all become vampires.”

“Don’t work in the dark,” Minhyun simply said. “Goodnight, Jaehwan.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The first simulations were in two days. The doctor candidates were skittish, wondering who their assigned partner would be.

To perform a memory procedure, the efforts of two doctors would be combined. It was impossible to do alone. The instructors had informed the candidates that experts at Sigmund Corp were in the delicate process of pairing up doctors to be temporary partners for the simulations. Partners that would be compatible with each other, that would fit with each other well.

It _was_ only temporary partners. It wasn’t as if they were going to stay with the same person forever. If things didn’t work out, they would even be able to find another partner.

That is, if they made it through the simulations in the first place.

Minhyun had voiced his concerns to his friends one day, at a café near Sigmund Corp. He needed a change of atmosphere, so here they were.

“The experts would pair me up with someone similar to me, right?” Minhyun asked, taking a long sip of water. He and the others were seated at the corner of the room, with a round table heaped with donuts in front of them.

Jonghyun and Nayoung glanced at each other, as if wondering whether to answer honestly or not.

They settled on Jonghyun vaguely saying, “They’d pair you up with someone that’s suitable.”

Minhyun sighed. He wasn’t really expecting a clear answer.

Kyulkyung chewed on a donut. “Are you hoping for a Minhyun 2.0 or something?”

“Not exactly,” Minhyun said, absentmindedly playing with the straw of his drink. “Just... It’s easier to work with someone who’s not so different from you, right?”

“Hmm...” Kyulkyung continued to chew.

Nayoung then spoke up. “The pairs are decided through careful consideration of your previous interviews, psychological tests, weekly reports, and other components. Whoever your partner will be...” A pause. “He or she should be able to work with you.”

Another vague explanation. Minhyun nodded nonetheless. It was still comforting to be with his friends, at least. “Thanks, guys.”

“Good luck, Minhyun.”

“We wish you the best, Minhyun.”

“Minhyun-oppa! Introduce me to your partner after you meet him or her!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I think we can all guess who Minhyun’s “temporary” partner is :)
> 
> \- More minhwan backstory in the next chapter, but we'll be going back to Daniel's memories too
> 
> \- Pledis family is love, Pledis family is life
> 
> \- You can expect a 2park To the Moon AU spin-off ;)
> 
> \- Jaehwan really did sing Gallant’s _Weight in Gold_ and Muse’s _Time is Running Out_ asdfghjkl you guys should check out his covers if you haven’t yet ㅠㅠ
> 
>  
> 
> \- I said this before but I'm gonna say it again, just in case:  
> For the sake of the plot, some Sigmund Corp tech and rules work differently in this story compared to how they work in the To the Moon game.  
>  
> 
>  
> 
> also:  
> \- lol did anyone catch the DAY6 reference?


	10. back then (a flashback or two, part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the hurting began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains:  
> \- the story of Minhyun and Jaehwan's first patient  
> \- minhwan being minhwan, and the story of how Minhyun fell in love
> 
> and
> 
> \- returning to Daniel's timeline again
> 
>  
> 
> ______
> 
> Whenever you see **♪♪♪** , please click on it! (open in new tab/window). It's music accompaniment for that part of the story! :)  
>  Also, don't forget to turn off autoplay!  
> 

 

 

 

 

 

When the instructor announced the names, Minhyun froze. He was sure that he had misheard.

“Hwang Minhyun and Kim Jaehwan.”

What.

_What?_

He wasn’t the only one shocked. In the room, surprised looks on the other candidates showed that they were confused as well.

Because everyone knew that Hwang Minhyun and Kim Jaehwan were complete polar opposites of each other. They were _that_ different. More than once were they caught bickering over little things— such as the state of Jaehwan’s desk, or Minhyun saying how the dust was making his face itch, and how lazy the young candidate could be.

One could say that if Jaehwan was a roaring cyclone, Minhyun would be the calm that happened before the storm hit. It was to that extent.

It wasn’t as if Minhyun hated Jaehwan. Not at all. By that time, they were already friends. Not close friends, but friends nonetheless.

Weeks had passed since the night Minhyun discovered that Jaehwan was the mysterious singer. They had met up a couple times after that, in class and around the Sigmund Corp building. Minhyun had long since accepted the fact that Jaehwan was loud, sloppy, and even lazy at times (he had witnessed Jaehwan asking Woojin to pass him his drink, even though the drink was only slightly out of arm’s reach. Woojin had instead grabbed the drink and held it high above his head, causing Jaehwan to screech like a pterodactyl.)

Minhyun was okay with Jaehwan being Jaehwan. He even enjoyed spending time with him, though he would never admit that out loud. But to _work together with him_... that was another thing.

Minhyun was still trying to overcome the surprise when Jaehwan walked up to him, grinning from ear to ear.

“I guess we’re partners, hyung.”

“Yeah... I guess we are.” Minhyun then pulled on his calm, serious face. “Let’s get the files. We can look over the documents at my apartment.”

They had a day to prepare for the first simulation. He needed someplace quiet to think, for them to discuss their plans.

 

 

 

Minhyun’s apartment was only a half hour bus ride from Sigmund Corp.

It was a nice, cozy place. The apartment complex itself was quite large, with friendly neighbors and a nice environment.

Minhyun led Jaehwan to the elevator, which they rode to the eleventh floor. He unlocked the door to his room and let it swing open.

He turned on the lights and Jaehwan let out an “oooh”.

It wasn’t that luxurious or anything. Just a moderately-sized living room with an open kitchen at the back. Bookshelves lined up one wall, next to a television with a couch in front. A small dining table stood near the kitchen’s stove and refrigerator, with four chairs around it.

There were three other doors— one leading to Minhyun’s bedroom, one to the bathroom, and one to the balcony.

And of course, everything was sparkling clean and tidy. He had a special collection of cleaning utensils, some of which his friends had given to him for his birthday.

“We can work on the table,” Minhyun said, taking off his shoes and setting them on the shoe rack. Jaehwan, watching him, did the same.

Jaehwan made himself comfortable on one of the chairs while Minhyun rummaged through the fridge and cabinets. “Nice place, hyung.”

Minhyun smiled in reply, setting down two glasses of water. He took a seat next to Jaehwan as the younger boy placed the Sigmund Corp folder on the table.

“Okay,” Jaehwan said. “Let’s look at our client.”

“Let’s.”

They pored over the documents, paying attention to the smallest detail. Even the most bland and seemingly unimportant detail could prove to be of utmost importance for the procedure.

Their “client”, nicknamed Bill, was a 71-year-old man who wished to be a rock star. He was in critical condition so the doctors only had a few hours at best to perform the procedure.

After discussing for hours and coming up with a main plan and backup plan, night had already arrived. Minhyun could see the moon and stars peeking from the windows, and things actually felt peaceful.

Maybe it was because Minhyun knew that the client wasn’t a real person— just a computer program designed by Sigmund Corp for the company selections. So he felt calmer, knowing that he wasn’t dealing with a living person on their death bed.

But that didn’t stop himself from worrying— just a little.

They finished up an hour later. As Minhyun gathered the documents and placed them into the folder, Jaehwan patted him on the shoulder. “Good luck for us tomorrow,” the younger boy said with a smile.

The tenseness eased a little from Minhyun’s body. He smiled back. “We’ll do great.”

“We’ll slay!”

Minhyun laughed. “Yeah.”

Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad to have Jaehwan as a partner after all.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

And they, indeed, did slay.

 

 

 

When they resurfaced to the real world, taking off their helmets, things seemed to spin for a bit. Minhyun took a few steady breaths. They had been informed before that disorientation was an aftereffect of the procedure.

Jaehwan was next to him, already on his feet. Minhyun slowly got up as well, giving Jaehwan a pat on the shoulder.

In front of them were three instructors. They were looking down at clipboards in their hands, and at the screen displaying images of what occurred in the memories.

Then one of the instructors looked up, fixing her eyes on both Minhyun and Jaehwan.

“Hwang Minhyun and Kim Jaehwan,” the instructor said, tone serious. Then she smiled. “Congratulations, you both passed the first simulation.”

Jaehwan let out a tiny shriek and Minhyun felt the widest grin spread across his face. He turned to look at Jaehwan, locking eyes, at a loss for words.

Then they flung their arms around each other, letting out cheers and relieved laughs.

It was their first hug.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Life really worked in mysterious ways.

A lot of doctor candidates wondered how long it would take for Minhyun and Jaehwan to be fed up with each other, and for one of them to beg for a partner switch.

But Minhyun never got fed up. He also never asked for another partner. The word “temporary” had slipped his mind. The same went for Jaehwan.

Because out of all odds, the polar opposites clicked. Minhyun’s calm and calculated thinking, and Jaehwan's spontaneity and random bursts of ideas— they somehow complemented each other. That itself was evident in the simulations that they succeeded on.

And the pattern continued. They passed more simulations and tests. Whatever was thrown at them, they made it through. Somehow. But surely.

Naturally, Minhyun and Jaehwan spent more time together. Minhyun’s apartment became their little headquarters— a small and quiet place to pore over files of programmed clients, to discuss their plans for the tests, and occasionally go over their class notes.

(Or as quiet as a place can be with Kim Jaehwan in the room.)

And in between those serious moments, they’d do little mundane everyday things— An early dinner on the kitchen counter, staring out the window at the streets below, watching bits of variety shows on the television, and chatting about the most random things till the clock indicated that night had fallen a bit too deep, and Jaehwan had to hurry and catch the last train ride home.

Months passed and December came. Hwang Minhyun and Kim Jaehwan walked down the Sigmund Corp halls, wearing their official white lab coats.

Jonghyun held another toast to celebrate them _actually_ becoming doctors this time.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

They were looking forward to their first official job. This time, it wasn’t a computer programmed patient with a wish, but a _real_ human being with a _real_ wish that _really_ needed their help.

But there was something different in the air as the two doctors settled themselves on the couch of Minhyun’s apartment. Minhyun sat at one end, slowly opening the client’s file that suddenly felt so much heavier in his grip; and Jaehwan on the other end, a notepad and pencil in his hand, ready to jot down any important details.

Minhyun opened the file and started reading the contents. “Client name: Yoo Yeonjung.”

Jaehwan nodded.

“Her wish is to sing in front of thousands of people.”

Jaehwan nodded again.

“Age,” Minhyun continued, and then halted. He held the file closer to his face, wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him. _Was there a number missing...?_

“Age?” Jaehwan asked, looking up from his notes.

Minhyun slowly set down the file. His voice was quiet as he said, “Nine...”

The younger doctor frowned. “Ninety...? Ninety what?”

Minhyun shook his head. “No. Nine.” From the folder, he pulled out a photo from its paper-clipped hold.

The photo was of a little girl with a warm smile.

“She’s nine years old.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their dozens of simulations didn’t prepare them for this.

To be in front of a living, breathing patient on a hospital bed, with the steady beeping of a cardiac monitor filling their ears.

To be in front of the patient’s family, who attempted to hold back tears, asking the doctors to help their daughter fulfill her final wish.

Jaehwan’s hand trembled as he carefully placed the Sigmund Corp helmet over Yoo Yeonjung’s head. And Minhyun tried to ignore the shaking of his own fingers as he configured the codes and slipped on his own helmet.

And when everything went black, he felt that he was plunged into a deep, deep ocean. It was dark and terrifying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeonjung was a small, bright girl with long black hair. When she smiled, the smile went all the way to her eyes.

But it was soon replaced with a confused frown when she saw the two doctors standing in front of her.

They were in a playground. Nine-year-old Yeonjung sat on the swings, blinking slowly. “You’re not mom and dad,” she said.

Minhyun shook his head. He crouched down to match the little girl’s height, trying to put on a comforting smile. “No... I’m Dr. Hwang Minhyun. And this other doctor is my friend, Kim Jaehwan. We’re from Sigmund Corp.”

“Oh.”

“We’re here to fulfill your wish,” Jaehwan said softly, crouching down as well.

“But my parents told me that the doctors would come when I’m already...” Yeonjung paused. Seconds passed. “Mister, am I going to die?”

“We’re sorry, Yeonjung.” Minhyun tried to ignore how his heart was hurting already. “Your real body is in a hospital right now. Your parents are there right next to you.”

“Oh...” Yeonjung looked at the ground, her small hands holding onto the swing. “Well... At least I got to hug mom and dad last night.” And she had a small smile on her face, but her bottom lip was quivering. She was trying to look strong, to look like she was prepared for this. But her eyes were watery, and she clutched tighter onto the swing’s chains.

Nothing prepared them for this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeonjung loved to sing.

As Minhyun and Jaehwan traveled backwards through her timeline, it became more and more evident how the little girl loved music. From a very young age, she listened to songs that her parents would play on speakers, soft melodies and voices filling the house. And as she grew older, she started to sing along to those songs as well— on the playground, at home, on her way home from school.

At the age of eight, she joined a nationwide singing competition. She made it pass the auditions, but failed the first round. The judges told her that she had a great voice and overflowing potential, but at the moment she just wasn’t ready.

Her motive was clear but there was always an obstacle blocking her way.

As the two doctors watched Yeonjung and her crestfallen face, Jaehwan sighed.

“She's extremely talented,” the younger doctor said. “But she was taught the wrong techniques. I mean, did you see her vocal coach? He was horrible. And she’s young so she must’ve felt that she had to listen to him.”

Minhyun nodded. “Her parents couldn’t afford a proper vocal coach.”

Without missing a beat, Jaehwan said, “I could be one.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

They decided to carry out their plan in the memory of Yeonjung at eight years old, weeks before the singing competition. Minhyun found the least conspicuous way to recommend Kim Jaehwan as a vocal teacher. Though they did have to tweak Jaehwan’s credentials here and there, to gain the trust of Yeonjung’s parents in said memory.

Credentials or not, Jaehwan knew what he was doing. During his university days, he was a frequent visitor of the Applied Music department of his campus— learning from his friends there and even busking with them occasionally. And Jaehwan’s parents would tell Minhyun of how their son delved a lot in music ever since he was young.

So when they sat down with Yeonjung on the first day, with Jaehwan giving her the first lesson with the help of her family’s old rusty piano, Minhyun felt that things would work out.

And Yeonjung trusted Jaehwan. It took some time and a few lessons later, but she trusted him. The bright smiles on her face and her enthusiasm showed that. Jaehwan brought Minhyun along one day, introducing him as the second teacher. Although she was wary of the new addition, she eventually grew to like him as well.

This time, she passed the auditions _and_ the first round. And the round after that.

Days passed and the memory continued to change— towards the direction of the patient’s final wish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were a lot of moments, a lot of new memories formed over the old.

Little by little, Yeonjung told the two doctors about herself— about how she grew up with music, how she wanted to help her parents who she knew were struggling, how she wanted to make them proud, and her hopes for the future.

Most of the things she told them were things that they already knew from the past memories. But it felt different when it was Yeonjung that told them herself. They listened to her intently, giving her encouragement along the way. And she would smile at them— that bright, cheerful smile.

Yeonjung was also a very playful person. During breaks from the lessons, Jaehwan would do and say silly things to brighten the mood, and it would make Yeonjung laugh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And time continued to tick by.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were walking by the Han River when Yeonjung grabbed both Jaehwan and Minhyun’s hand, dragging them along as she ran.

The sun was setting, bathing everything in a warm orange color. And the city continued to bustle around them, alive with all its movements and noise.

“Where are we going, Yeonjung?” Jaehwan laughed.

“To the riverside!” the little girl said, trying to catch her breath.

A small breeze blew in their direction. Minhyun felt the slight chill through his long-sleeved shirt and jeans. Replacing the white lab coats of Sigmund Corp employees, he and Jaehwan wore normal everyday clothes.

Minhyun looked over his shoulder to see Yeonjung’s parents giving them a thumbs-up from afar. They had agreed on Yeonjung’s request of having an outdoor singing lesson, as long as they were allowed to tag along as well.

Close to the water’s edge were benches for pedestrians to rest on. But the two doctors and the little girl chose instead to stand, their eyes on the river that stretched on and on.

“It’s nice, right?” Yeonjung said, smiling widely.

“Very nice,” Jaehwan replied.

“Very calming too,” Minhyun added.

Yeonjung nodded. “This is a good place to brainstorm.”

“Have you decided on a song for the final round?” Jaehwan asked. The final round— the round with the audience of thousands of people, and would be aired live for the whole country to see.

Yeonjung nodded again. “It’s a song I really like. It’s sad, but filled with hope.”

“What song is it?”

And Minhyun could feel Yeonjung squeezing his hand, knowing that she was doing the same to Jaehwan’s.

The little girl smiled up at the both of them.

“ _Downpour_ ,” she answered. “The song is called _Downpour._ ”

 

 

 

 

It was a farewell song— of those who have been with each other, creating happy memories together, but eventually parting ways. But, like Yeonjung said, it was also filled with hope. Hopes of meeting again.

And it was a constant reminder to Minhyun of the limited time they had with Yeonjung. That she was their patient, and they were here to help her fulfill her last wish. But a farewell waited for them at the end of the journey as well.

Minhyun noticed it. How Yeonjung had grown fond of them as the days passed. She was wary of Jaehwan when they first met, but eventually warmed up to him. She was even more wary of Minhyun, but here they were now.

And when Minhyun realized that he himself had grown fond of the little girl as well, he tried his best to chase the feeling away. To push it away, never to think of it again.

_Doctors are not allowed to get attached to patients._

It was a golden rule. Not only for professionalism’s sake, but also for the sake of the doctors themselves.

 

 

 

 

But what Minhyun also realized was how Jaehwan seemed to get more attached as time passed. Time in the Sigmund Corp machine, after all, was hard to keep track of.

And one could easily get lost the minute they forget that it was all happening in the memory of a dying patient.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The announcer spoke into the microphone with a booming voice. “And here is our second finalist, Yoo Yeonjung! She’ll be performing _Downpour_ by the famous songwriter Woozi. Please give her a round of applause!”

As clapping filled the large hall, Yeonjung held tightly onto her microphone. She waved at both of the doctors before she ran to greet the audience.

“I know I shouldn’t be worrying,” Jaehwan said, as he and Minhyun watched from backstage. “She practiced this song a million times already.”

“She’ll be fine,” Minhyun said.

“This must be what it feels like to be a big brother,” Jaehwan continued with a small smile. “A nervous brother, waiting for his little sister to perform at the talent show.” He then laughed. “Or maybe a nervous dad when his kid’s about to go up on stage.”

Silent, Minhyun patted Jaehwan on the shoulder. He left his hand lingering for a few extra seconds, because the minute that Yeonjung finished singing, her wish would be fulfilled. And he wasn’t sure if the younger doctor was ready for the finality of it all.

_Jaehwan, I hope you’ll be fine too._

 

 

Yeonjung came running back to them after the performance, the widest smile on her face.

Jaehwan was already crouching down, his arms stretched out, hands a double-thumbs up. Yeonjung threw her arms around him, saying, “I did it, I did it!”

Chuckling, Jaehwan hugged her back and stood up, spinning in circles. The little girl clung onto him, laughing, her feet touching the air.

“You were amazing!” Jaehwan exclaimed after putting her down. “You should’ve seen the looks on the crowd’s faces when you slayed that high note! You are so gonna win this!”

“I don’t need to win.” Yeonjung wiped her eyes. “I just wanted to sing.”

Minhyun pulled on a smile. He crouched down to her height, just like he did on their first meeting, and said, “You were really amazing, Yeonjung.”

She hugged him as well.

His heart clenching a little more painfully, Minhyun patted her on the back before she pulled away. The announcer had called her name, asking her to give a little speech before the winner announcement.  

She gave them another wave before heading back to the stage again.

And just like that, Yoo Yeonjung’s wish was fulfilled.

 

 

As the eight-year-old girl gave her speech, Minhyun clasped his friend on the shoulder.

“Jaehwan, we need to go.”

“Go where, hyung?”

And that was when he knew Jaehwan was lost. 

Minhyun pulled out the portable heart monitor from his pocket. On the screen, a single line continued to move, but it had become faster, less steady.

Jaehwan looked at the monitor with a blank look on his face, as if he was in a daze. As if he didn’t recognize what the object in Minhyun’s palm was.

“Yeonjung doesn’t have much time left,” Minhyun said, and he ignored the slight tremor in his voice.

“But—” Jaehwan started. His eyes found the stage. “She’s right there.”

“Jaehwan.”

“We were going to get ice cream after this. You know the little convenience store near the river?”

“Jaehwan...”

“She wanted to go there before, but it was raining. So I said that we’d go later.”

Minhyun’s grip on the heart monitor tightened. “Jaehwan, _please_. We need to resurface before...” The words got caught in his throat. He didn’t continue.

Jaehwan studied Minhyun’s face, seeing the calm demeanor break, revealing a fragility that he had not seen before from Minhyun. It seemed to snap the younger doctor back from his dream-like state— back to reality.

“Okay...” Jaehwan said, his words hanging in the air. “You’re right, hyung. We should...” His voice trailed off. “We should go.”

“Do you want to say goodbye to her first?”

They had at least a few minutes.

Jaehwan turned to the stage again. He nodded.

 

 

Yeonjung won the competition. For the second time, she ran back to them, this time with a trophy in her hand.

“Told you,” Jaehwan said.

“I was just happy to sing!” Yeonjung insisted.

Jaehwan smiled, ruffling her hair. “I know.”

There was a pause.

“Yeonjung, listen... Me and Minhyun-hyung need to go right now.”

Yeonjung blinked, a little confused. “Where are you two going?”

“Uh, I mean... Me and Minhyun-hyung have other work to do. Unfortunately.”

“Oh. I see. Grown-up life must be really busy.”

There was another pause.

“Mister, why are you crying?”

Startled, Jaehwan shook his head, wiping his eyes. “It’s tears of joy.”

Yeonjung tugged on the younger doctor’s arm till Jaehwan crouched down to her height.

“But why do you look so sad?” the little girl said. Then she frowned. “This isn’t goodbye, right? We’ll see each other again after this, right?”

Minhyun squeezed Jaehwan’s shoulder.

“We will,” Jaehwan replied.

Yeonjung looked at him straight in the eyes. “Promise me.”

“I promise.” Jaehwan pulled on a shaky smile. “But for now, it’s goodbye.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sound of a long, never-ending beep greeted the two doctors after they resurfaced. Minhyun slowly took off his helmet, and he waited a full twenty seconds before standing up lest he stumble from the disorientation.

Jaehwan sat next to him, helmet also in his lap. The younger doctor looked dazed, confused, as if wondering where he was.

Minhyun helped Jaehwan climb his feet, and together they faced their patient.

Yeonjung’s mother had tears in her eyes as she said, “She was smiling.” And then, “Thank you.”

And with the parents, the two doctors stood by Yoo Yeonjung’s bedside. The little girl’s eyes were closed, a motionless hand on the blanket that covered her body, and the faint trace of a smile still lingering on her lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the car ride to Minhyun’s apartment, the older doctor had suggested that they have a late dinner first. They hadn’t eaten anything proper for days.

Jaehwan answered with a small nod. He was silent the whole time, ever since they left the hospital.

But when they sat themselves at the table and the food actually came, neither of them had the appetite. Meanwhile, the clock continued to tick in the background.

Jaehwan eventually stood up, grabbing the coat that he had thrown on Minhyun’s couch. “I should go now, hyung. It’s getting late.”

“Jaehwan, I think you should stay the night.”

The younger doctor looked at him, saw Minhyun’s worried face.

“It’s okay, hyung. I’m okay.”

Minhyun shook his head. Jaehwan was obviously in no state to go anywhere by himself— let alone to his home that was all the way across the city. The fatigue was obvious in Jaehwan’s eyes, and he looked exhausted and ready to collapse at any second. Not to mention the fragility in the younger doctor’s voice, as if he could break at any minute.

“I insist,” Minhyun said.

“I didn’t bring any of my stuff—”

Minhyun quickly cut down any excuses. “There’s a spare toothbrush and you can borrow my clothes.”

“Hyung...”

“Jaehwan, I insist.”

The stare-off lasted for a solid ten seconds. Finally, the younger doctor gave in.

“Okay,” Jaehwan said with a sigh. “I’ll stay.”

 

 

 

 

An hour later and Minhyun had set up a comfortable sleeping area in the living room, placing a pillow and a warm blanket on the couch.

Jaehwan was about to flop onto the couch when Minhyun stopped him.

“This is for me,” the older said. “You can sleep in my room.”

“What?”

“How could I make a guest sleep on the couch? That’d be rude.”

“No way, hyung, I’d feel bad.”

But Minhyun placed his hands on Jaehwan’s shoulders and gently guided him to the room. “Stop worrying so much,” he said, swinging the door open.

Through the window with the curtains pulled apart, moonlight streamed in.

Just like everything else in the apartment, the bedroom was tidy and spotless. Books were neatly lined up at the study desk, the floor was clear of any stray clothes, the bed covers free of any crinkles with the blanket folded at a perfect rectangular at the end.

“I really shouldn’t...” Jaehwan started.

Minhyun slid his hand off the other’s shoulders and made his way back to the living room. “Well, I’m already tagging the couch, so the bed’s your only option.”

Jaehwan let out another sigh.

 

 

 

 

Sleep didn’t come easily to Minhyun that night.

After tossing and turning for what must have been hours, he slowly got up to fetch himself a glass of water.

He was silently passing the bedroom when he heard it.

Small, choked sobs— coming from behind the ajar door.

Feeling his heart drop, Minhyun gently pushed open the door and entered.

On the bed, Jaehwan was lying on his side, facing the wall, body curled up as a hand covered his face— as if he was trying to muffle his voice. He made no indication of noticing the other person walking towards him.

Minhyun sat himself on the edge of the bed, placing a gentle hand on Jaehwan’s shoulder. The younger doctor twitched, and he looked up to see his friend.

“Minhyun-hyung...”

“I’m here. You don’t have to hold it back, Jaehwan. If you want to cry, you can cry.”

A second passed. Two seconds.

Then Jaehwan’s defenses crumbled. He turned away again as the tears fell from his face, as the sobs wracked his body.

Minhyun stayed by his side, a comforting hand still on his shoulder.

“Yeonjung... She...” Jaehwan finally said, after he had calmed down a little. “She was so young.”

Minhyun nodded.

“The days felt like years, hyung. I know I was stupid. I know I shouldn’t have gotten attached.” Jaehwan’s voice broke again. “I shouldn’t have cared for her in the first place.”

The other doctor gave him another comforting pat on the shoulder. He had to be strong, for his friend’s sake. “I’m here. We’ll get through this together.”

Minutes passed and Jaehwan eventually cried himself to sleep. Minhyun wrapped the blanket around the younger boy, examining his now calm yet tear-stained face.

“Goodnight, Jaehwan.”

Minhyun then walked over to the window, watching the moon for a bit before closing the curtains. He then left the room as quietly as possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Jaehwan kept his promise. A week after the funeral, they visited Yeonjung’s grave.

The snow fell lightly on the flowers that they had carefully placed, below the name of their late patient.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weeks passed again. The company was ready to assign them another patient, but Jaehwan had already isolated himself by then. Minhyun hadn’t seen him for days, so he drove to Jaehwan’s home to where the younger doctor’s parents waited with concerned faces.

“He’s been locking himself up in his room,” Jaehwan’s mother said when Minhyun arrived. “He hasn’t been eating his meals.”

It was obvious cause for worry. But after a lot of urging, Jaehwan answered the door, still talked to them. He looked at Minhyun, and the latter noticed how bloodshot Jaehwan’s eyes were, the shadows underneath them— and how empty his eyes looked, devoid of emotion.

Time, Jaehwan said to Minhyun. He just needed some time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

More weeks passed and Jaehwan found himself back on his feet again. His smile slowly returned. Soon after that, he and Minhyun received another patient. They fulfilled the wish, and this time they did it according to how their instructors had always told them.

Without getting attached. Without empathizing too much. Without caring too much.

And yet, Minhyun could still see the slight hurt in Jaehwan’s eyes as a medical doctor walked in, covering the patient’s face with a white sheet. But at second glance, Jaehwan had pulled on a more passive face, as if nothing happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was before their fourth procedure when Minhyun asked Jaehwan to move in with him.

The question came while they were lazing on the couch, with Jaehwan munching on his sixth slice of pizza. With the television on, he had his eyes glued to the screen, laughing a bit when something funny appeared.

Normally, Minhyun would have commented on how the younger doctor was eating a bit too much, but after seeing the amount of weight that Jaehwan had lost during his recovery from their first job, Minhyun was glad to see him eating like usual.

The two doctors were to receive the files of their new patient tomorrow, but for now they just wanted to rest and clear their minds for a bit.

“Jaehwan,” Minhyun suddenly said.

“Hm?”

“What do you think about living here with me?”

Pizza still hanging from his mouth, Jaehwan turned to him. After blinking a couple times, the younger doctor chewed and swallowed.

“What do you mean, hyung?”

“I mean, moving in. In this apartment, with me. The bedroom’s big, so we can easily fit two beds in it. We could also split the rent.” Minhyun paused, just realizing that it was best to explain _why_ he made the suggestion in the first place, and not _how_ things would be. “Your house is on the other side of the city, Jaehwan. It’s a good hour away from Sigmund Corp. You could save time if you move in here. Not to mention the times you fell asleep in the train and missed your stop.”

 _And worried the heck out of me,_ Minhyun didn’t say.

He then continued, calmly.

“And you know how it is with our work. We have to be on constant standby for a patient. Once we receive the files, they could call us hours from then. Maybe days later. Or weeks. We never know. But if we’re at the same place, it’d be easier to just hop into the car together and drive right away to where the patient is. It’d also make it easier for us for when we need to go over the documents together, and you wouldn’t have to worry about catching the last train.”

“I guess you have a point, hyung.”

Now that he spilled out all of his logical reasons, Minhyun felt the blood roaring in his ears. He was actually... nervous?

“So... What do you think?”

Jaehwan looked at him some more. He then smiled. “I think it’s a great idea.”

 

 

 

 

Minhyun’s apartment became Minhyun and Jaehwan’s apartment.

They set up a second bed at the other end of the bedroom, close to the window. Jaehwan had jumped on the mattress immediately, and Minhyun quickly told him to stop or he’d break it. They had spent a good three hours looking for the right-sized bed and he didn’t want to see their efforts going to waste that quickly.

The day after that, they went to Jaehwan’s house to pack up his belongings. When that was done, piles of boxes filled the trunk and back seat of their company car, with Jaehwan clutching his guitar case carefully.

Before they left, Jaehwan’s parents asked Minhyun to take good care of their son, even if he was quite a handful. Minhyun gave them a reassuring smile and promised that he would.

 

 

 

 

The dynamics of Minhyun’s life changed after Jaehwan moved in.

He would usually wake up to the sound of his alarm clock chiming, but now he woke up to the sound of a guitar being played at 6 AM in the morning, or by Jaehwan’s groans when the younger doctor stretched like a cat on the bed.

That was, if Jaehwan was the first to wake up. Which wasn’t that often.

It became an everyday thing for Minhyun to cross the room and nudge Jaehwan awake. And Jaehwan would burrow even deeper into the blankets and Minhyun would have to attempt to wake him up five minutes later. He’d succeed every single time, though.

And it was a different feeling to have breakfast with someone every day. Sometimes Jaehwan would come out of the room with sleepy eyes and messy bed hair, walking like a zombie. When he sat down at the table, Minhyun would have to make sure that the younger boy didn’t accidentally fall asleep and faceplant into his food.

Besides morning routines, there were also changes in pretty much every aspect of Minhyun’s life. He was usually meticulous when it came to cleaning and keeping things tidy— and Jaehwan was the complete opposite of that.

So when Minhyun came home one day to see coffee spilled on the table, a jacket thrown carelessly on the couch, and Jaehwan’s side of the bedroom in a mess as if a tornado had blown right through it, Minhyun made it his goal to turn Kim Jaehwan into a cleaner and tidier person.

Months passed and he had yet to reach his goal. But things did get a little better, courtesy of Minhyun’s daily nagging.

They went to work together, sometimes taking turns driving. Minhyun had held his breath the first time Jaehwan sat behind the wheel (“I’m going to sleep. I can’t watch you drive,” the older doctor had said), but he had learned to trust Jaehwan more after the third crash-free ride.

And Minhyun was right: living together _did_ make their job easier. Weeks passed and they received more cases, fulfilled more wishes. They would read and discuss the patient’s files until the late hours of the night, way past the time of the last available train. And when they suddenly received a call to perform the procedure A.S.A.P, they hopped into the car immediately and drove off, the Sigmund Corp machine tucked safely in the trunk.

When they finished their job, they would head back home, ordering a meal or settling on instant food because neither of them could cook that well.

(They had tried to cook before, and it was not pretty. Jonghyun and Minki were witnesses to that incident.)

 

 

 

 

Minhyun got used to living with Jaehwan fairly quickly. And he noticed the little things that he never noticed before— how Jaehwan kept the nails of his right hand long, while keeping the ones on the other hand short. It was for guitar-playing.

He’d also notice how Jaehwan balanced himself on the sides of his feet when he stood for a long period of time, how he’d sneeze according to the correct way by the World’s Health Organization, and how he got louder and louder after getting drunk.

(Minhyun himself didn’t partake in the drinking, but he would always be the one to carry Jaehwan home).

And in return, Jaehwan learned things about Minhyun— such as how the older doctor had a salt allergy, the drinks that he preferred over alcohol and coffee, and the little things that bugged him.

If someone had told him a year ago that he would be living with the noisy boy from the cafeteria with the annoying laugh, Minhyun would have scoffed and thought it ridiculous. But here he was, living with Kim Jaehwan, and it was... nice. It was nice and comfortable.

That was how things were. They coexisted together, in each other’s lives.

And somewhere in between the chaos and mundane moments, Minhyun fell in love.

 

 

 

 

It would have been great if the realization came to him during a quiet and calming time— Maybe during the late and quiet hours in their apartment, or perhaps on a peaceful drive home.

Or maybe when they were walking towards the Sigmund Corp building, or even when they were visiting parts of the city, with the cherry blossoms falling around them.

But it didn't. The realization came at the worst opportune time, which resulted in Minhyun nearly sailing away into the Antarctic Ocean and Jaehwan screaming at him not to live with the penguins.

 

 

It went like this:

They were on a ship in the middle of the ocean, in the memory of their sixth client. They were invisible and muted to everyone but themselves, though there was only one other person on the ship with them. It was deep into the night, with the countless stars above and the cold wind that blew every so often.

Their client was stretched out on a bench, fast asleep. And he had been fast asleep for the past twenty minutes.

After it became awkward to keep staring at their client (who still showed no sign of waking up from his deep slumber), the two doctors decided to walk a bit to the railing, to see the sights in front of them.

It was the client’s private ship, so the whole deck was empty except for them. Jaehwan rested his arms on the railing, facing ahead.

There was nothing in front of them, just the endless body of water. The ship had left port hours ago, leaving behind a seaside town and its lighthouses.

“Hyung.”

“Yeah, Jaehwan?”

“Do you ride ships often?”

Minhyun thought about it. “Sometimes. Not that often though. Why?”

“Just a random thought.” Jaehwan continued staring at the waters. “When I was little, my parents took me on a ship ride. And we kinda stared at the sea, near the railing like this. We were getting close to our destination, and on the horizon were hundreds and hundreds of little lights. They were all sorts of different colors, but mostly yellow and orange.”

“I’ve seen that sort of view.”

Jaehwan nodded. “And my dad told me that each of those tiny lights had their own stories. I didn’t understand it at first, because little Jaehwan thought they were just lights. But the closer we got to port, the more details I could see. The lights belonged to things— such as lighthouses, buildings, cars, and other boats as well.” He paused. “And in those lighthouses and everything, there were people. People with their own stories. Maybe a sailor lived in the lighthouse. Maybe there were families on the boats, excited for their trip. And then I remembered how the view looked from afar: just thousands of lights.”

Intrigued, Minhyun wondered where this was going.

“It’s kind of like... When you’re far away from something, that something may look great and all. But the closer you get to it, you’ll start seeing more. The little details. And you learn to appreciate the little details, to see how complex it is, and then that something becomes even more beautiful in your eyes.”

Minhyun smiled. “Is this for a song, Jaehwan?”

Jaehwan laughed. “You caught me. Yeah, it is.” He sighed. “When we left the port on this ship—” He tapped the railing. “I was staring at the lights again. And my mind just started running.”

“I bet you really wish you had your lyric book right now.”

“You caught me again, hyung.”

Another thing that Minhyun learned about Jaehwan was that not only did he like singing songs, but he also liked writing them. He’d find inspiration in the littlest of things, strum a chord on the guitar, and scribble down lyrics furiously in his notebook. Sometimes he’d share his ideas to Minhyun first, just like he was doing now. Occasionally the lyrics would be silly— maybe about a spider that climbed up the wall and scared the shit out of Jaehwan. But oftentimes, the lyrics were a lot more serious and thoughtful.

Jaehwan glanced over his shoulder, saw that their client was still fast asleep, and turned back to the horizon.

“I’ll start writing when we get home,” he said.

“Is it a love song?”

Jaehwan shook his head. “Not particularly, but I guess it could be interpreted that way.”

 

 

**[♪♪♪](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDXLZrIyjVU) **

 

 

Suddenly, there was the sound of a horn in the distance, somewhere to their right. A long, deep sound. The two doctors turned to the direction of the noise.

It was another ship, still far away that they only saw its lights.

“You think that little dot of light has a story as well?” Minhyun said.

“A ship passing by in the night. With a captain sailing all alone, maybe.”

“That’s sad.”

Silence fell. Minutes passed as they watched the ship getting closer and closer, glancing over their shoulder to see that their client was still fast asleep, and turning back to the ship again.

When the two ships were nearly side by side, Minhyun suddenly smiled. “Or maybe on that ship is a man named Hwang Minhyun, on his way to an adventure.”

Jaehwan laughed. “What?”

Minhyun pressed a few buttons on his wristwatch. There was a new feature that the science department had been working on. It seemed like a good time to try it out.

“Hyung, what are you doing?”

But Minhyun suddenly disappeared. He flickered for three seconds before vanishing in thin air.

“Hyung!”

The other ship already reached the client’s ship by then, passing by as they both moved in the opposite direction.

On the empty deck of the new ship was a slight flicker. Jaehwan squinted his eyes, wondering what it was. Then Minhyun appeared, leaning on the ship’s railing.

It was a new feature that enabled doctors to “teleport” from one place to another, though the range was only for a few meters.

Minhyun waved. “Hello there, young man. Now where are you off to?”

The worry melted off Jaehwan’s face, replaced by a relieved smirk. “I’m a traveling musician. I’m heading to Paris right now. Maybe Amsterdam after that.” He giggled. “How about you?”

“Just going on an adventure.” Minhyun smiled, looking thoughtful. “Have any recommendations for me?”

“Antarctica sounds like a good place.”

“Sounds cold.”

“The penguins are cute though.”

“Well, I guess I could live with the penguins for a while.”

And then Jaehwan laughed again. Minhyun couldn’t help but smile even wider.

There was a joy that came to him whenever he made Jaehwan laugh. He didn’t know how to describe it. Just this sort of weird clenching feeling in his chest that made him feel like he could run a million miles. Or maybe even fly.

It was simple, really. He liked making Jaehwan smile. Liked seeing him happy. And somehow, when Jaehwan was happy, it automatically made Minhyun happy. As if it was an automatic reaction— something natural.

Not only that. It was also the distance. The ships were only meters apart, a small gap of water separating them, and yet— And yet Minhyun felt that he should be closer to Jaehwan. He _wanted_ to be closer. Right by Jaehwan’s side.

And he realized that it was something that he had felt for a while. Maybe some time ago, that he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Oh,” Minhyun said under his breath. He then smiled. “So that’s how it is.”

Their ships continued to pass by.

“Hyung? You okay?” Jaehwan waved at him. When the older doctor didn’t answer, he began to walk down the deck, following the other ship’s direction, making sure his eyes were still on Minhyun. “Um, hyung, I think you should get back here now.”

Still no answer. The ships were starting to get farther apart. Soon they would completely pass by each other, heading off in opposite directions. Jaehwan began to run. “Hyung! Now, hyung! You’re gonna get out of range soon! You won’t be able to teleport back!”

It was then that Minhyun saw how close Jaehwan was getting to the back of the ship— to the railings. That snapped him out of his daze. He quickly punched buttons on his wristwatch.

“DON’T ACTUALLY GO TO ANTARTICA, HYUNG, DON’T LIVE WITH THE PENGUINS.”

Minhyun pressed the last button and his vision went dark for a split second.

Then everything came back into sharp focus as his feet touched the deck of the client’s ship. He heard loud, running footsteps.

Jaehwan crashed right into him.

Minhyun nearly lost his balance. He took a step back, anchoring himself.

“Damnit, hyung, you scared me!”

Jaehwan was clinging tightly onto him now, as if afraid Minhyun might disappear again.

The older doctor finally spoke. “You scared _me._ I just got here and you’re already running into me.”

“My eyes were on the other ship, I didn’t see where I was going! You were almost out of range, hyung!”

“We could’ve restarted the memory and I’d be back here. I wouldn’t actually be stuck on that ship.”

Jaehwan shook his head. “Excuse me, but I was a _bit_ too freaked out for my mind to be working correctly! I thought you were really going somewhere. Damnit, hyung, what were you thinking?”

 _How long have I been in love with you?_ Minhyun thought, the question still clear in his head as he stared at the boy in front of him.

But what Minhyun said was, “I’m not going anywhere.” He then returned Jaehwan’s weird, clingy hug— as if to prove his point that he was staying right there. “I won’t go anywhere.”

“Good.”

Minhyun couldn’t stop smiling— because having the other doctor in his arms like this just further confirmed his feelings and thoughts.

He didn’t want to let go.

 

 

(And maybe he wouldn’t have, if Jaehwan hadn’t pulled away first, telling him that they needed to head back to their client.)

(Their client woke up another twenty minutes later, and they finished fulfilling his wish in the next two hours.)

(A month later, after being deemed too unstable for use, the "teleporting" feature was discontinued.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Months and months passed after that. The seasons changed and autumn arrived.

And Minhyun continued to keep the feeling close to his heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

 

 

 **_ SIGMUND TIMELINE:  
_** **_ Kang Daniel – 33 years old _ **

 

The fireworks continued to explode in the sky.

It was a weird time for reminiscing, yet that was what Minhyun did. He just couldn’t shake off the thought of a small light in the sea’s horizon— a light that looked like nothing but a small, bright dot.

But if one were to look closer, they’d see that there were two doctors in white lab coats there, on the deck of an empty ship. And one of the doctors was smiling, wondering what sort of story would come next.

And _this_ was the story— his feelings that continued to grow, and also his uncertainty of what to do, and the hurt that came with it.

Confessing seemed so easy in his mind. Yet when the time came and he had Jaehwan in front of him, the fear would take over. The fear of unreciprocated feelings, of destroying the comfort that they already had, of never being able to go back to being _them._

Over the year and months, they had built something together. A space for them. A place for them to always come back to. Not a physical place, but just a sense— a sense of being with each other.

Minhyun thought that he should have been satisfied with what they already had. To work with Jaehwan and spend those little, seemingly unimportant moments together during their free time. To just have him there as his work partner, his roommate, his friend, _as Jaehwan._

And Minhyun thought he was selfish for wanting more.

Yet the urge to tell the younger boy how he felt would emerge again. But he would push it back again. Again and again.

The feeling was stronger now. As he held Jaehwan’s hand, seeing the fireworks’ glow on his face, Minhyun felt so sure. He would take the plunge.

It was just three words, but why wouldn’t they leave his mouth?

And then he remembered again. It was because he was afraid. He was simply afraid.

In a way, he was thankful for the fireworks. For giving him the time for that one moment of clarity— to remind him that _this was enough_. Or at least he would continue to convince himself.

So he let go.

His hand dropped to his side, and so did Jaehwan’s. Meanwhile, the lights continued to explode in the sky. And continued to do so for the next minute.

When the last firework fizzled out and the sky returned to its opaque black, Jaehwan turned back to look at him, and Minhyun felt himself breaking a little more.

“Sorry, hyung, did you want to tell me something?”

Minhyun shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

Jaehwan frowned. “Now I’m curious. What is it?”

Trying to ignore how heavy his words felt, Minhyun answered, “It’s just...” He paused. “I’m just glad to have you here with me.”

There was another pause as Jaehwan seemed to think. Then he smiled. “I’m glad to have you with me too, hyung.”

And Minhyun tried to smile back.

 _This should be enough_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _It’s alright. It’s just a passing downpour._


	11. closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay but Minhyun wore a lab coat and black pants in the Boomerang MV and I freaked out 
> 
>  
> 
> ______
> 
> Whenever you see **♪♪♪** , please click on it! (open in new tab/window). It's music accompaniment for that part of the story! :)  
>  Also, don't forget to turn off autoplay!  
> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 33 years old _ **

 

If he had to be honest, Jaehwan was surprised.

It was rare for Minhyun to say something _this_ nice to him— that is, right in front of his face. They never really had many heart-to-heart talks that involved how much they... (Jaehwan tried to find the correct word)...  _appreciated_ each other?

So why the sudden expressing of emotions? Maybe dancing did things to people.

But if Jaehwan had to be honest again, he was happy. It made him happy to hear that Minhyun appreciated him being there, perhaps at the same level that Jaehwan felt. The younger doctor, as always, was thankful for his friend.

So he smiled and said, “I’m glad to have you with me too, hyung.”

And Minhyun smiled back. But somewhere in the back of Jaehwan’s mind, he thought there was something off with that smile. He began to wonder what it was—

—When a cheerful voice boomed over the speakers spread across the garden, cutting through his thoughts.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. This is Ong Seongwoo.”

Jaehwan turned to the direction of the voice, seeing both Seongwoo and Daniel standing in front of the altar.

“I hope the fireworks were cool enough,” Seongwoo continued, speaking into the microphone in his hand. After the crowd around him cheered, he grinned. “Glad to hear that. Now to the next thing.”

It was Daniel’s turn. “Me and Seongwoo were wondering whether to do this or not. But a lot of our friends urged us to, so here we go.”

Seongwoo’s other hand was holding something behind his back. He then whirled around dramatically, revealing the previously hidden object.

He held it out for the world to see, and the crowd exploded into cheers again.

Jaehwan gasped. Minhyun drew in a sharp breath.

It was a huge plushie sort of thing— and Jaehwan was wondering whether it was a dog or a bear or something in between. He couldn’t see well from this distance.

But at the moment he wasn’t preoccupied with the thought of the plushie’s mysterious species. He was more preoccupied with the fact that the doll was _flickering._

“Of course that had to be the memento,” Minhyun mumbled under his breath.

Seongwoo held the doll above his head. “Here is my dear friend, Ongnable. You know the drill, ladies and gentlemen. Whoever catches this little guy will be the next to get married.”

And then he and Daniel turned around, holding tightly onto the doll. People from all over the garden poured to stand behind them, hands above their hands, smiles on their faces.

Minhyun quickly said, “Let’s just pause the memory and then get the memento— _Jaehwan!”_

Jaehwan was already sprinting towards the altar, zipping in between the crowds. He had played a lot of soccer when he was young, and rising victorious from many ping-pong matches was enough proof of his fast reflexes.  

“One...!” Daniel was saying, voice giggly. “Two...!”

Seongwoo joined him in the countdown.

“Three!”

Together, they tossed Ongnable behind them.

Slipping past two people in suits, Jaehwan jumped. The large doll collided with his hand, and he immediately grasped tightly onto it. Before the newlywed couple could see his face, Jaehwan began running back to Minhyun the second his feet hit the ground.

People clapped and cheered. Seongwoo let out a joyful laugh as he said, “Who’s that?”

Daniel yelled above the crowd, “Whoever you are, congratulations!”

Jaehwan then reached Minhyun, who was looking at him with a _‘why are you like this?’_ face.

But he didn’t stop running. He grabbed Minhyun’s hand and pulled him along.

The crowd went crazy.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” Daniel yelled again with a laugh.

The two doctors continued to run as the cheers grew deafening, and Jaehwan could have sworn he saw Kim Doyeon and Choi Yoojung giving them a double-thumbs up as they passed by.

“Go, Minhyun, go!” one of the girls was shouting.

When they were finally deep within the hedge maze again, Jaehwan allowed his legs to give out. He let go of Minhyun’s hand and slumped to the ground, arms wrapping around Ongnable.

He was still gasping for breath when Minhyun sat down next to him. “You are crazy,” the older doctor simply said.

“Craziness got us the memento,” Jaehwan wheezed back. He then held out the doll to his friend. “Will you do the honors?”

Minhyun smiled again— a slight tug at the corner of his lips that didn’t quite look like a smile. “Alright.”

The older doctor started pressing buttons on his wristwatch to prepare the memento, his cheeks still a light color of red (probably from the exertion of running, Jaehwan thought). A minute later and the memento was ready for activation.

Minhyun placed his hand on the doll, which was now cradled in Jaehwan’s arms.

The younger doctor suddenly said, “I think I remember a photo of Seongwoo with Ongnable wrapped around his waist.” He played with the doll’s floppy ears. 

“Is the doll even supposed to be used that way?” Minhyun asked.

“Dunno. It’s cute though.”

“Yeah. Cute.”

Just then they heard voices coming from outside the maze. Still far enough to not be able to comprehend what was being said, but close enough that the two doctors knew it was time to go.

“Let’s not get caught,” Minhyun said quickly.

Jaehwan nodded, fiddling with his wristwatch. “Visibility and audio off.” 

After two seconds of flickering, the two doctors were invisible and muted again.

Jaehwan continued to fiddle and soon his clothes flickered as well, the suit replaced by the signature Sigmund Corp lab coat and black pants. Minhyun did the same before closing his eyes.

_“Activate memento.”_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 32 years old _ **

 

“So where exactly are we going again?”

“Just to get some dinner. There’s this nice place with great food and great music. I think you’ll like it.”

“Okay, Niel. I trust you.”

They were in a large living room. Hugging Ongnable to his chest, Seongwoo was curled up on the couch, ready to stand up when Daniel said, “I’ll get your shoes.”

Minhyun looked around. “Is this Daniel’s house?”

“Nice place,” Jaehwan commented, letting out an impressed whistle. Then he focused on their client again.

Daniel returned with a pair of shoes, grinning.

Seongwoo held out his hand, but Daniel shook his head again.

“I’ll do it for you,” the younger man said, earning a chuckle from the other.

Setting the doll on the couch, Seongwoo sat up straight with a surprised but warm expression on his face. “Wow. My Prince Charming.”

Daniel got down on one knee and carefully slipped Seongwoo’s socked feet into each shoe— gently and carefully. “There we go.”

“Thanks.”

Seconds passed and Daniel stayed in that position. He looked up to see Seongwoo staring curiously at him.

“Daniel?”

But the younger man suddenly glanced at the clock on the wall. “Oh geez, it’s that time already?”

Seongwoo followed his gaze. “6:35 PM. It’s not too late. What’s the prob—?” But his voice trailed off when he turned back to look at the other man, who was still on one knee.

And who was now holding a small box in his hand, a ring glistening from it.

Daniel continued to smile, with a faint trace of nervousness. “Ong Seongwoo, will you marry me?”

A few more seconds passed. Seongwoo’s bottom lip was quivering, tears already forming in his eyes. Then he flung himself forwards and enveloped Daniel in a tight hug, as if he was never going to let go.

“Of course, you big dummy. Of course, I will.”

With a relieved and blissful laugh, Daniel hugged him back.

 

 

Minhyun found the memento quickly. It was a cellphone that lay on the kitchen table.

                                                    

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 31 years old _ **

Skyscrapers stretched out above them, as if touching the clouds that were pouring torrents of rain below.

Jaehwan and Minhyun quickly scrambled underneath the closest storefront with a roof. They stared at the sky for a bit— gray and bleak.

Then Jaehwan looked around. They were in the city, but the streets were... oddly empty? There were no cars on the roads, no loud honking. For a split second, it felt like a ghost town. Not a single soul in sight.

But then he squinted through the rain and could make out the forms of other people. They were all underneath a large wall-less tent, huddled close together.

“There, hyung,” Jaehwan said, pointing in the direction of where their client should be. Minhyun nodded and they both ran out, facing the rain.

It was wet and cold, but soon they could see Daniel and the people around them.

Kang Daniel wore normal casual clothes, but Jaehwan knew that they were a designed costume. Eyes on a middle-aged man in front of him, Daniel looked serious and attentive.

After finding a spot under the tent to shield them from the rain, Minhyun bent down to whisper in his friend’s ear.

“I know why the streets are empty. This is a film set.”

Jaehwan nodded. He had seen the cameras and the monitors. The clapperboard lying on the nearest table was also a big giveaway. “So they must’ve blocked off some roads,” he said.

It was Minhyun’s turn to nod. “Must be one of Daniel’s films.”

“And the man there must be the director.”

“Yup.”

Daniel, along with the people around them, continued to listen to the director’s every word. Finally after a few tense seconds, the director stood up and addressed the crowd.

“We’ll resume filming after the rain stops.”

A collective mumble of agreement droned over the film crew. Daniel made his way to an empty chair and took a seat, watching the rain.

For a while, the two doctors focused on Daniel’s gaze and little movements. Anything could provide to be a clue to the whole mystery enveloping their patient. But after a few minutes, Daniel’s eyes glazed over, and it was obvious that he was lost in thought.

Jaehwan then looked up at the clouds above. There wasn’t even a small glint of light that signaled the sun’s location.

Then Minhyun suddenly stepped out into the rain, tilting his head up at the sky. His eyes were closed as droplets of water fell on him.

It would be a lie if Jaehwan said that he wasn’t a little bit freaked out. He rushed forwards, grabbing onto his friend’s arm. “Hyung! What are you doing?”

Minhyun smiled and this time Jaehwan realized— it was a sad smile.

Wet black hair brushing his now open eyes, Minhyun glanced at the shorter doctor. “The rain feels nice.”

“Hyung, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s a good idea to feel what Daniel felt, right? Maybe he stood in the rain like this. Maybe he let the water soak his skin a bit.” There was a pause. “We need to understand Kang Daniel as much as possible.”

“Ri-Right...” 

“Jaehwan, have you ever had your heart broken?”

The question took him by surprise. “What?”

Minhyun continued to look at him, the sad smile still on his lips. “Have you?”

Seconds passed as Jaehwan returned the gaze, his mind churning, flashbacks unintentionally playing in his head. Finally he answered, with a voice so quiet, “You know the answer to that, hyung.”

The rain roared in their ears, soaking the two doctors to the skin. Minhyun slowly nodded.

“Why are you asking this? So that we understand Daniel more?”

“Yes,” Minhyun answered, but Jaehwan could hear the uncertainly in his voice. “Both Daniel and Seongwoo must have had their hearts broken.” Minhyun then turned back to look at their client, who was still seated, whose eyes were still on the sky. “Maybe a couple of times. What do you think they did with those broken hearts?”

Jaehwan continued staring at his friend. “We’ll find out in the next memories.”

“You’re right.”

Another pause. Finally Minhyun began walking towards the tent again, and Jaehwan quickly followed.

The younger doctor still felt uneasy. 

More minutes passed and the sun began to peek through the clouds. The rain lessened to a soft drizzle. The film crew began to move, setting up cameras and various equipment.

Kang Daniel slowly stood up and made his way to the director.  

“Ready for this scene, Niel?”

Daniel grinned, eyes focused once again. “Yes, sir.”

The director smiled. “Well, you _did_ write the story. So I guess you’re prepared for all the things that’s gonna happen.”

Looking proud and slightly bashful, Daniel nodded. “That’s right, sir.”

“Then let’s get started.”

The two doctors followed as both Daniel and the director made their way to the streets. The silence that engulfed the location before was completely gone now, filled with chatter and mumbles as the crew prepared for the next scene.

“Daniel wrote the story for this film?” Minhyun asked.

“Yeah. I watched this one before.” Jaehwan looked around, already recognizing the buildings and overall layout. “Daniel wrote the whole thing. Screenplay by Kang Daniel, starring Kang Daniel.”

“How about Ong Seongwoo?”

Jaehwan shook his head. “He’s not in this film. He was working on other projects at that time.”

“I see.”

“I think this is the scene where Daniel saves a little boy from a car.”

Proving Jaehwan’s guess, a young boy around eight years old arrived at the site. He exchanged greetings with Daniel before separating to stand on separate sides of the road.

When the director yelled _“action!”,_ Jaehwan found himself holding his breath. He knew it was just a film, and yet somehow his heart began beating a little too fast for comfort.

The little boy began to cross the street, walking towards Daniel. Meters away, a black car slowly drove towards them. Thanks to the camera angle and editing, it would appear to be careening towards the small actor.

Daniel’s eyes widened as he saw the car. He then ran forwards, hands held out in front of him. Panic tearing through his voice, he yelled, “Watch out, kid!”

Two bodies collided as Daniel wrapped the boy in his arms, lifting him up and continuing to run. He didn’t stop till they reached the sidewalk again, the car passing the place where they stood seconds ago.

Daniel gently set the little boy down and crouched down to his height. “You okay?”

With a nod, the boy smiled gratefully. “I’m fine. Thanks, mister!”

The relieved grin on Daniel’s face was radiant.

_“Cut!”_

Jaehwan flinched, forgetting for a brief moment that this was all acting.

The director clapped his hands a few times. “Good job, you two. That was great. Daniel— Daniel, what’s wrong?”

Daniel was hunched over, clutching his head, eyes tightly shut. “I’m fine,” he said, a slight hiss of pain in his voice. “Just a little headache.”

The younger actor looked worried, asking if Daniel was okay. The latter replied with a nod and comforting smile.

But the director would not have it. He stopped the shooting for a few minutes, allowing Daniel to rest for a little bit.

And so it was with an unclear expression that Daniel made his way to the dressing room, closing the door behind him (right after the two Sigmund Corp doctors slipped inside).

Letting out a tired sigh, Daniel collapsed into a chair. He paid no attention to the mirror in front of him as he closed his eyes, allowing himself to rest.

Then something happened. Jaehwan thought that he was seeing things, but tears had started forming at the corner of Daniel’s eyes. It even took Daniel a while to realize that he was crying.

Eyes now wide open, Daniel stared at the mirror.

The tears were beginning to fall now. And Daniel looked surprised at his reflection as well. With the sleeve of his shirt, he wiped his eyes. “It’s rain water,” he mumbled to himself, ever so slowly. “What the...”

But it wasn’t rain water. Because the tears kept coming and coming, and he winced every once in a while as another headache overcame him.

Jaehwan watched as Daniel picked up a small black bag from the floor. His big hands fumbled as he pulled out a phone from it, quickly speed-dialing a familiar number.

One single ring passed when Daniel spoke into the receiver.

“Seongwoo...”

The voice on the other end was cheerful.

_“Daniel! How’s the filming so far?”_

“It’s... It’s going fine.”

Silence filled the room as Seongwoo seemed to notice the tremble in Daniel’s voice.

_“Daniel... What’s wrong?”_

A shaky smile made its way to Daniel’s lips. “I dunno. I think I’m just tired.”

_“You’re crying.”_

“I think the rain’s making me emotional or something. I don’t get it either.” Daniel let out a soft laugh, clearly baffled by the whole situation. “I just don’t get it.”

There was another silence. The smile on Daniel’s face became more firm, more steady.

“But I feel much better after hearing your voice,” he said, holding the phone with both hands, letting it rest comfortably against his ear. “Thanks, Seongwoo.”

_“Niel, I’m coming over there.”_

Daniel blinked. “I thought you had a schedule today.”

_“I finished it up a few minutes ago. I’ll be there in an hour, okay?”_

Wiping his eyes, Daniel let the grin grow on his face. “You’re the best, you know that?”

_“I know.”_

“I love you.”

_“I love you too, Niel-ah.”_

“I’ll see you soon.”

It was easy to imagine the smile on Ong Seongwoo’s face. _“See you.”_

After the phone call, Daniel wiped his eyes again one last time. He stared at himself in the mirror, mumbling under his breath, “Get ahold of yourself, Daniel...”

With another sharp intake of breath, Daniel turned around and left the room.

The two doctors exchanged glances, confusion clear on each other’s faces.

“What happened to Daniel?” Minhyun muttered.

From the very beginning, Jaehwan had a bad feeling about the whole Kang Daniel case, but the feeling grew worse and worse the deeper they got into the memories.

He walked towards the mirror, eyes on the bag that lay on the floor. He unzipped it, rummaging inside.

“Looking for the memento?” Minhyun asked.

“Yeah,” Jaehwan answered, still digging through the bag’s contents. “Ah, found it.”

Car keys. It flickered in the palm of the younger doctor’s hand.

“I guess we’re going on a car ride, hyung.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_ **Kang Daniel – 30 years old** _

 

Ong Seongwoo was a really good driver. He made sure to drive at the right speed, knew to take it slow on road bumps, and chose the right moments to steal glances at the man seated next to him.

And the man would catch his eye, smiling a bunny-toothed smile.

“Eyes on the road,” Daniel said, as Seongwoo stole another quick glance in his direction.

“Don’t worry," Seongwoo replied. "You’re in good hands.”

From the backseat, Jaehwan said, “Road trip!” As he shifted to a more comfortable sitting position, his thigh brushed against Minhyun’s. Somehow they entered the memory exactly right next to each other.

Without a word, Minhyun carefully scooted away.

For a bit, they watched the scenery pass by them as Seongwoo and Daniel continued their drive. Jaehwan saw cherry blossom trees and a bright sun, along with some old buildings scattered about.

“It must be spring,” he said softly. Minhyun nodded.

The car eventually came to a stop in front of a two-story café in the mountains. The cool air could be felt through the vehicle’s open windows.

Seongwoo excitedly unbuckled, a huge grin on his face. “Let’s go!” He swung open the door, letting out a sigh as his feet touched the gravel of the parking lot.

But Daniel made no move to follow. Still seated, his eyes were on Seongwoo, an unreadable expression on his face. Seongwoo cocked his head to the side questioningly.

Then Jaehwan could see the slight wavering of Danel’s gaze. _He was nervous._

Finally, Daniel exited the car. Slowly, he made his way to the older man till he stood in front of him.

With the windows and car door still open, the two doctors could easily hear their conversation.

“Seongwoo.”

“Yeah?”

Daniel pulled on a smile. “Will you go out with me?”

Seongwoo stared at him, eyes wide in surprise. He then cleared his throat. “Well, uh. We _are_ outside.”

With a laugh, Daniel rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

A pause filled the silence as Seongwoo looked at him, his face gentle. There was nobody else around— their car being the only vehicle parked at the café— so the silence was even more evident. “Our music video... you interpreted it as a romantic one?”

Daniel chuckled, albeit a little nervously. “Didn’t you?”

“...I did, actually.”

Daniel’s face brightened.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Seongwoo said.  “Or are you asking me out as in _‘do you want to date me?_ ’ As in _‘do you want to be my boyfriend?’”_

“Both.”

“You’re pretty straightforward.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Seongwoo seemed to think for a bit. “No, not really.”

"I'm gonna be completely honest." Daniel took a few steps towards the older man. “When we first met, things just clicked, you know?” He smiled again. “It was as if I'd known you for years and years.”

Seongwoo’s breath hitched as Daniel carefully took his hand.

“It felt... comfortable to be with you, Seongwoo.”

Seongwoo expression grew more gentle, more warm. He returned the squeeze of Daniel’s hand. “I felt the same way too,” he said.

Daniel closed his eyes as Seongwoo tugged on the collar of his shirt, pulling him down till their lips met.

The kiss was soft and gentle, as if the two men wanted to convey all that they felt— as much as possible. And they must have succeeded, because when they pulled apart seconds later, the smiles on their faces showed just how happy and relieved they were.

Seongwoo afterwards went to the car to roll up the windows and lock the doors. He then returned to Daniel, who took his hand again.

Like two excited little kids, Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo ran towards the café.

Jaehwan turned to see his friend holding a small, flickering book.

“It was in the glove compartment,” Minhyun said. “We’re getting closer to the hiatus memory. We’ll get there soon.”

With a nod, Jaehwan put his hand on the book.  “Let’s go.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

  

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 30 years old _ **

 

Instead of the rain, snow fell lightly from the sky.

Kang Daniel was wearing a thick black coat, hands shoved into the pockets for warmth. His breath was visible in the air as he walked.

As Jaehwan and Minhyun followed after him, the younger doctor took in their surroundings. They were back in the city, far from the colorful leaves of the mountains.

“Winter again,” Minhyun observed. He glanced at his watch. “And Daniel is still 30 years old.”

“Which means this memory took place not long before the memory of Daniel confessing,” Jaehwan concluded. “If this is the moment where Daniel first met Seongwoo, then this must be sometime in January.”

They watched as Daniel stopped in front of a small café.

“This is the place, right...?” Daniel mumbled to himself. He then pushed open the door, hearing welcoming bells clinging above his head.

The two doctors slipped in before the door shut. Jaehwan’s eyes darted around the small building, seeing the small tables and the occupants bent over cups of warm coffee. The café was half full with customers, all who were busy with their own business.

Daniel looked around before pulling out his phone. He dialed a number and waited.

 

 

**[♪♪♪](https://youtu.be/QYvuKPIhan4) **

 

 

_“Hello?”_

The soft voice sounded from the phone, but Jaehwan could also hear the voice echoing from across the room. Ong Seongwoo was seated at the corner of the café, holding a phone to his ear.

“I just arrived,” Daniel said. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the table in the corner,” Seongwoo answered. “I’m wearing a black turtleneck. Wait, I see you.”

The older man then stood up, waving at Daniel.

Daniel’s jaw dropped. And it stayed hanging as he stared at Seongwoo, whose arm seemed to get tired from all the waving.

“You okay there?” Seongwoo laughed, smiling brightly.

After seconds of gaping, Daniel finally regained composure and walked to Seongwoo’s table. He held out his hand, and the other man shook it without a second’s hesitation.

“I’m Kang Daniel. It’s nice to meet you.”

Seongwoo seemed to be analyzing Daniel, who grew a little nervous under the intense gaze. But the smile never left Seongwoo’s face, and he finally let go of Daniel’s hand after one final shake. “Ong Seongwoo. Nice to meet you too.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Daniel sat down. He took off his coat and hung it on the chair.

A waitress passed by with a notepad, and Daniel ordered a bagel and coffee. After the waitress left, Daniel turned back to face the man in front of him.

“What were you reading?” Daniel asked.

“Oh, this.” Seongwoo picked up the book that he had placed on the table when receiving the call. A cup of coffee lay next to it. “It’s poetry.”

Daniel’s eyes lit up. “You like poetry too, hyung?”

“Of course I do,” Seongwoo answered, his eyes fixed on Daniel. “Wait. Did you just call me ‘hyung’?”

Daniel looked a little flustered. “You— You’re older than me, right?”

“Yeah, but...” Seongwoo’s voice trailed off.

“Am I acting too friendly? Sorry, I’ll—”

“No, it’s fine.” Seongwoo pulled on a reassuring smile, resting his chin on his hand, his elbow on the table. “Who knows? We might even be close enough that you’ll drop the honorifics.”

A blush made its way to Daniel’s face. “Yeah. I hope so.”

It was a heartwarming sight, but Jaehwan felt a little uneasy. He looked around and found out why.

Other occupants of the café were looking at Daniel and Seongwoo’s table. Some whispered among themselves. Jaehwan could hear some of them, and he felt more and more uncomfortable with every word.

_“Is that Kang Daniel?”_

_“Yes, that’s Kang Daniel!”_

_“He’s done with his hiatus?”_

_“The man with him... that’s Ong Seongwoo, right? The actor?”_

_“There’s no doubt about it. That’s him.”_

_“What are they doing together?”_

And Jaehwan also noticed how Seongwoo was alert, obviously aware that people were talking about him and Daniel. It seemed that Seongwoo could feel their eyes on him, but he still kept a warm composure in front of the man in front of him.

The waitress returned with Daniel’s food and drink. She set them carefully on the table before leaving again.

“I’m sure we’ll get along well,” Seongwoo said, as Daniel took a sip of coffee. “You look great, by the way.”

Daniel choked a little. He set the cup down, trying to look like nothing happened. “Um... thanks.”

“You were on hiatus for two years,” Seongwoo explained, unfazed. “Your fans and others were worried that you weren’t taking care of yourself well.” There was a pause. “I was worried too.”

The blush grew deeper on Daniel’s cheeks. “Are you my fan, hyung?”

Seongwoo just replied with another smile.

“Thanks for the worry,” Daniel then said. “But I’m fine, really.”

A sort of wistful look was on Seongwoo’s face. But he blinked and leaned forwards on the table, a playful smirk on his lips. “So. I saw the concept and story for the music video.”

“What do you think about it?”

“It’s interesting. A bit ambiguous, but I think that’s intentional so the viewers can use their imagination. The relationship between the two men in the story could be interpreted as brothers, close friends, or perhaps...”

“Or perhaps they're a couple?” Daniel blurted out loud. His eyes then went wide, as if realizing what he just said, and the implications behind it. “Oh shit, sorry. I’m getting too ahead of myself.” He then looked at the floor, averting his gaze from Seongwoo’s face. “But— But then again, it’ll just be acting. I— I didn’t mean anything by it.”

But Seongwoo just continued to smile, his expression becoming even fonder.

Daniel sat up straight, heart no doubt banging against his chest as Seongwoo spoke again.

“You’re an interesting person, Kang Daniel.”

 

 

Time passed as the two continued their conversation. Both Daniel and Seongwoo did indeed look comfortable around each other, and soon they were both expressing themselves in their own ways— Seongwoo with his jokes and Daniel with his endless laughter at every little thing.

Snow continued to fall outside as the sky grew darker. By the time that Seongwoo had to head back home, stars were already shining brightly.

“I’ll see you on set then,” Daniel said, unable to hide his disappointment, reluctant to see Seongwoo go.

Seongwoo nodded. “Don’t be blown away by my amazing acting skills.”

Daniel laughed. “We’ll see about that.”

After another warm smile, Seongwoo made his way to the door.

And Daniel kept his eyes on him, even long after he disappeared from sight.

 

 

Minutes passed and Daniel let out a long, happy sigh. He took off the watch that he wore, holding it in both hands. “Wow. We’ve talked for that long,” he muttered, setting the watch on the table, next to the untouched bagel and empty cup of coffee. 

“Memento,” Jaehwan and Minhyun said at the same time.

“Jinx,” Jaehwan then said.

“Come on.”

It was strange. They were in a bright and cozy café, and yet Jaehwan felt a chill run down his spine. As if some unseen darkness enveloped the entire building.

He reached out to grab onto Minhyun’s arm.

The taller doctor turned to look at him. “Jaehwan?”

Jaehwan stood still, feeling Minhyun tense up underneath his fingers. “The hiatus memory. It should be after this, right?”

“It should be.”

“What do you think we’ll see, hyung?”

Minhyun’s lips parted and closed, as if trying to find the right words. “Whatever it is, it can’t be good. It might be the root to the whole mystery. To why Seongwoo looks so sad at times. To what Daniel’s father did, and to why Seongwoo is so angry at him.” He paused, voice growing softer. “To Daniel’s motive for going to the moon.”

Heartbeat becoming quick, Jaehwan nodded. “Here we go then.”

They fixed their eyes on the flickering watch on the table. Daniel was still smiling to himself, as if reliving his meeting with Seongwoo.

“Here we go,” Minhyun confirmed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((The doll toss idea was inspired by this moment when I attended a family wedding and instead of a bouquet, the bride and groom threw a doll. It was cute and fluffy.
> 
> also, I pictured the car in this story as the car that Ongniel used in Wanna One Go season 1)).
> 
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> 
> __
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> 
> Sorry for the slow update! :( I'm currently working on my thesis, so the next update will be slow as well until I finish it :")  
> (and guess what, the thesis is about memories, lol)
> 
>  
> 
> In the meantime, anyone wanna talk a walk though the Broduce 101 memory lane?  
> clicky clicky **\-- > [「FMV」 Produce 101 - Photograph](https://youtu.be/9xinG9u_Apk)**
> 
> (I put my heart and soul into that video yes this is a shameless promotion)
> 
>  
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> __
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> The mystery will start unfolding in the next chapter!  
> As always, thanks for reading! ❤


	12. strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed writing this story :")

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 30 years old _ **

****

It was quite interesting how Minhyun would notice the little things going on around him. People in his line of work needed a sort of sensitivity to their surroundings.

He realized how quickly his and Jaehwan’s clothes dried up, even after being in the pouring rain for more than a few seconds. Things worked weirdly in the memories. In fact, weird things happened so often that it became a norm for Sigmund Corp doctors.

Flickering objects? Normal.

Seeing your patient becoming younger and younger with every memory? Normal.

Turning invisible? Completely normal.

But all the weirdness that Minhyun previously faced didn’t prepare him for what would happen next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next memory of Kang Daniel at 30 years old brought him and Jaehwan to the interior of an apartment.

They were in a living room again— different from Daniel’s previous home, dimly lit by the lights. Everything was quiet except for the sound of whirring machinery coming from the treadmill underneath Daniel’s feet. He ran, letting out small breaths, sweat dripping down his face.

For a few minutes, Minhyun and Jaehwan just watched their patient exercise. Fixing his eyes on the window in front of him, Daniel looked determined— _strong,_ even.

Minhyun started walking around the room. It looked like the apartment had been inhabited for a while— with photographs on the wall and food-filled kitchen cabinets.

“Is this Daniel’s home?” Jaehwan muttered as he glanced around the room. “Before he met Seongwoo?”

“Looks like it,” Minhyun answered. He examined the photographs, seeing Jisung’s smiling face on some of them. He saw a couple more familiar faces from the wedding, even Kang Daniel himself.

“Hyung.”

Minhyun turned to look at his friend. Jaehwan stood near the corner, his eyes on a calendar nailed to the wall.

“December,” Jaehwan continued. He then locked eyes with the other doctor, who nodded in return.

“December,” Minhyun repeated. At second glance he saw that it was the third week of December, already past Daniel's 30th birthday. “The month when Jisung-hyung couldn’t get ahold of Daniel.”

“Along with November,” the younger doctor said, his fingers on the calendar and its printed numbers. “The months when Kang Daniel disappeared. Jisung-hyung said that he tried visiting Daniel at his home but couldn’t find him there. So this is his other home— the home that Jisung-hyung doesn’t know about.”

“But why...” Minhyun muttered. “Why wouldn’t Daniel let Jisung-hyung, or his other friends, know of his whereabouts...?”

Both doctors then glanced at their patient, who continued to run steadily. 

“Daniel looks skinnier,” Jaehwan then said. “Compared to the memory of his first meeting with Seongwoo, that is.”

Just when Minhyun was about to answer, there was the sound of a doorbell.

Daniel slowed himself to a stop before hopping off the treadmill. He grabbed a towel from a nearby chair and wiped his face.

After opening the door, Daniel bowed politely as an older man holding a cream-colored folder walked in.

“Daniel’s manager,” Jaehwan said.

“You’ve really done your research,” Minhyun commented, and Jaehwan beamed with pride.

Daniel received the folder from his manager, who gave him a firm nod.

“Glad to see you working out, Daniel. Keep it up. Let’s get you back to how you were before the hiatus.”

“Don’t worry, I’m gaining back the weight and muscle that I lost,” Daniel said.

His manager smiled in encouragement. “Don’t forget to eat right, too. You need to be in best shape for your comeback.”

At the word _‘comeback’_ , a huff of breath escaped Daniel’s lips. 

“Comeback, huh...” Daniel smiled back, his expression warm and tinted with a sense of yearning. “It’s been so long, hasn’t it?”

“Yes, it has. Two years is quite a long time.”

Faint footsteps sounded as Daniel walked towards the window. He glanced down at the view below.

Minhyun followed, copying Daniel’s gaze.

The older doctor recognized familiar streets and buildings. From this high up, he could see quite a lot and recognized familiar surroundings as well. Although everything was covered in snow, Minhyun could confidently state that he knew where the memory took place.

“Seoul,” he said. “Jaehwan, we’re in Seoul.”

“Jisung-hyung couldn’t contact Daniel for two full months.” Jaehwan joined him by his side. The younger of the two put a hand on the foggy window, leaving it there as he said, “Jisung-hyung tried to visit Daniel at his home but he wasn’t there. And all this time, he was in the same city? He was right here?”

“I wonder how Jisung-hyung would feel if we told him this,” Minhyun muttered.

Jaehwan didn’t need to answer. They both had a good guess of how Jisung would feel. Being completely cut off for two months, being worried sick and wondering where in the world Kang Daniel could be— and here he was, hidden somewhere in the same city.

Daniel had a nostalgic look in his eyes as he continued looking at the streets and people below. “I’m ready,” he finally said, after a brief pause. "I'm ready to join the world again."

His manager nodded. “Your father will be very happy to hear this.”

Eventually Daniel tore his gaze away from the window, finally focusing on the folder in his hands. With firm fingers, he opened it, glancing at the documents inside.

“Those are the details for your comeback,” his manager said. “Concept, storyline, production crew. All of that’s in there.”

Daniel flipped through the papers, his eyes seemingly taking in all the details. His hand hovered over a photo. “Who’s Ong Seongwoo?” he then asked. “I’ve been out of the loop for two years.”

“Ong Seongwoo. A rising model. He’s been gaining a lot of attention these days, also rumored to star in a few drama series. He’ll be the model in your music video.”

“Right...” Daniel answered.

“Handsome, isn’t he?”

With a small roll of his eyes, Daniel laughed. “I wonder if the photo did him justice.”

“You’ll be meeting him next month.”

“Before the music video shoot?”

“Yes. The production team thinks that it’s a good idea for you to meet Ong Seongwoo first. To build up chemistry and whatnot.”

“So our acting will look natural?” Daniel guessed.

“Yes.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“You can find his phone number there on his profile. Everything you need to know is in those documents.”

“Alrighty.”

“But...”

Daniel looked up from the folder. “But...?”

“Don’t contact him until the day you two meet. The production team wants your first interaction of each other to be face-to-face.”

“Sounds like a drama,” Daniel remarked, looking intrigued.

“That’s the intention.”

Daniel pulled on a smile. “Eitherway, I’m looking forward to it.”

There was a silence. A somewhat fragile silence.

“You miss it, don’t you?” His manager spoke gently. “The crowds. Performing on stage. Your fans. Your friends.”

“I do,” Daniel admitted without a second’s thought. “I miss all of it. Everything.” For a brief moment, his eyes glanced in the direction of the photographs on the wall. “I can’t wait to come back.”

“You’ll be returning to all of that soon.” Another silence. "I wish you the best of luck, Daniel."

"Thank you."

With a small wave, the manager then left, closing the door behind him.

Daniel sat on the couch, reading over the documents again. He then glanced at his wrist and the flickering watch wrapped around it.

“Huh,” Minhyun said. “The memento’s the same as the last memory.”

“Must be one important watch,” Jaehwan replied. “I think it’s time for the next memory.”

“We should hurry. I think we’ve already been in the machine for a couple hours.” Minhyun then pressed a button on his own watch, speaking in a clear voice. _“Pause memory.”_

A flash of light spread from where the two doctors stood, flooding over the entire room and Kang Daniel himself. Then the light disappeared, and the room was as silent as ever.

There wasn’t a lot of significant differences since there wasn't much movement or sound to begin with. But the effect of the memory pause was evident in Daniel’s frozen expression— his whole body like an unmoving statue.

“Sorry, Daniel,” Jaehwan apologized, reaching over and removing the watch from Daniel’s arm. It was unnerving sometimes— to see someone so still, not even the slightest rise and fall of the shoulders that indicated breathing.

As the younger doctor began preparing the memento, Minhyun took one final glance around the room. He saw a door leading to a bedroom, even saw an unkempt bed inside. He saw packets of jelly lying on the kitchen table. And (he couldn’t help it), he noticed the dust that began to pile up on the bookshelves. It was undoubtedly Kang Daniel’s home— and he had been there for quite a while. More than a month, at least.

“Hyung.”

The uncertainty and confusion in Jaehwan’s voice snapped Minhyun out of his thoughts. Jaehwan was holding onto Daniel’s watch, staring at it with his brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong, Jaehwan?”

“The memento...” His voice trailed off. “It won’t activate.”

“What?”

“Wait, let me try again...” Jaehwan pressed a couple buttons on his Sigmund Corp wristwatch, carefully yet urgently.

Minhyun glanced at Daniel while he waited. Daniel was staring at a spot in front of him, frozen in the memory.

Feeling a little unnerved, Minhyun turned back to his friend.

“Oh wait, I think I got it.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, Minhyun smiled. “Okay.”

“That was weird...” Jaehwan then held out the watch to him. “Okay, it’s ready.”

Minhyun wrapped his fingers around the object in Jaehwan's hand.

“Maybe the November memory is next,” Jaehwan said quietly. _“Activate memento.”_

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 29 years old _ **

 

Minhyun was used to the disorientation that came after entering a memory. He was also used to his eyesight taking a few moments to return.

But something was different this time.

He was quite a calm person. He secretly took pride in being able to control his emotions quite well.

But when his eyesight didn’t return even after two minutes passed— over double the usual amount of time that it usually took— Minhyun couldn’t help but get a little worried.

Everything was still white. A blinding white where he couldn’t even make out any objects. He stood still, waiting. And yet nothing happened.

“Jaehwan?” he finally said. “Are you there?”

No reply.

Minhyun’s hearing had returned already. He could hear faint footsteps from faraway, the muffled soft noises of people behind closed doors. His arm reached behind him, and he felt his fingers touching a wall.

He leaned against it, collecting his thoughts and wondering where he was.

“Jaehwan?”

After another long silence, Minhyun rubbed his eyes. Nothing changed.

He waited again. He was counting the seconds but he lost track already. Finally, he heard footsteps running in his direction.

“Hyung!”

Relief flooded over Minhyun’s body. He couldn’t stop the widest smile from spreading across his face. Soon he felt Jaehwan getting nearer, the footsteps becoming louder.

Jaehwan’s voice comforted him more than ever.

“I entered the memory somewhere on the second floor. I was looking for you, hyung! So I went up the stairs and my watch finally found your location so I ran here and found you. I didn’t find Daniel yet, though.”

“Jaehwan...”

“This is the November memory. I passed by an office of employees and saw a calendar. It’s the beginning of November.”

“Jaehwan, wait.”

Minhyun could imagine the confused expression on his friend’s face.

“Hyung?”

“I still can’t see.” Minhyun spoke calmly, not wanting to make Jaehwan worried. “I still can’t see. Everything’s still completely white. It’s— It’s taking longer than usual.”

“B-But it’s already been minutes,” Jaehwan said.

“It’s okay.” Minhyun reached out, wondering where the other doctor was. Fingers briefly brushing against Jaehwan’s cheek, he let his hand fall to his friend’s shoulder. “Just give me another minute.”

“Don’t panic, hyung.”

“I’m not panicking. You know me.”

“Yes. And it's because I know you that I _know_   you’re panicking.”

Minhyun sighed. “Okay,” he admitted. He really couldn’t fool his friend sometimes. “This _is_ a little scary.”

“I’m here, hyung.” 

They waited. Minutes passed and the whiteness eventually went away, revealing a blurry world. They waited again and soon his vision began to sharpen, returning to normal.

Minhyun took a couple of steady breaths. Jaehwan was looking up at him, concern all over his face.

“Okay,” the older doctor finally said. “It’s back. I can see again.”

“What was that?” Jaehwan looked more than a little freaked out. “First the memento acted strange, and now this.”

“Probably just a small glitch in the system. It’s okay.”

Minhyun then looked around. They were in a hallway, with doors all over. He could see the sky through a nearby window.

“Daniel’s agency,” Jaehwan said, still keeping an eye on Minhyun. “We’re in Daniel’s entertainment agency. Or more precisely his _dad’s_ agency. It’s four floors. I entered the memory somewhere on the second.”

“Right...” Minhyun had a well-enough grip on his surroundings. “Let’s look for him.”

They set off, searching for their client. Jaehwan kept glancing a few times in the older doctor’s direction, as if making sure he wouldn’t suddenly fall over.

“I wonder what it feels like to be an idol,” Minhyun said, after they passed yet another practice room with its transparent doors. He saw girls and boys in the room, going through dance routines.

“Maybe in another life, hyung.”

Minhyun smirked. “What? You think we could be in a boyband together?”

Jaehwan let out a tiny giggle. It was a rewarding sound. “Who knows? We’d totally slay.”

Now that his friend had relaxed a little, Minhyun himself could feel himself relaxing as well. They reached the end of the hall and climbed the stairs, hoping that their client was up there somewhere.

On the top floor, they rounded a corner and nearly bumped straight into Daniel.

Minhyun quickly took a few steps back, pulling Jaehwan with him so that he didn’t collide with Daniel. Their client was quiet as he walked with a sense of purpose.

The first thing that Minhyun noticed was how skinnier Daniel looked compared to the previous memory. But despite the slightly sunken cheeks and thinner legs, he walked steadily with a firm step, his black hair and clothes tidy.

Minhyun wasn’t sure what he expected. He wondered if he thought Daniel would appear looking like he hasn’t slept in days, with unkempt hair and bloodshot eyes. After all, it was a mysterious two-year hiatus.

Their client continued making his way down the hallway, finally stopping outside a door with a nameplate on it.

Large, bold letters read: ** _CEO AHN JUNYOUNG._**

Daniel knocked on the door. “Father, it’s me.”

From behind the door came a muffled voice.

_“Come in, Daniel.”_

Jaehwan suddenly gripped onto Minhyun’s shoulder. Minhyun didn’t complain.  After all, this was the first memory with Daniel’s father.

Daniel’s father— who could be the key to at least some of the mysteries. Or perhaps the entire mystery altogether.

Daniel entered the room with the two doctors quickly slipping in as well, right before the door shut.

Albums of the agency’s artists lined the bookshelves of the CEO’s room, along with posters and even various merchandise. It was clear that Junyoung was proud of the agency’s work— especially the ones with Daniel. Minhyun could see many of Daniel’s albums set neatly next to each other.

CEO Ahn Junyoung sat behind a table near the window— a large window that overlooked the streets below. Minhyun recognized his face from the Sigmund Corp documents, and the doctor honestly didn’t know how his first impression of the man would be. Junyoung looked stern in the photos, but Minhyun was aware not to judge a book by its cover.

The Ahn Junyoung in front of him was smiling warmly, gesturing to a couch near the table.

His voice was just as gentle as he said, “Please have a seat, son.”

At his father’s words, Daniel settled himself on the couch. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yes.” Junyoung let out a small sigh, fixing the glasses perched on his nose. “I just wanted to know how you were doing. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’m doing fine,” Daniel replied with a grin. “I’m getting a lot of rest, spending a lot of time for myself. Gathering inspiration for the next comeback.”

Minhyun glanced at Jaehwan, who stared back at him in anticipation.

_This was it._

“So you’re ready to head back soon?” Junyoung asked, with a hopeful voice.

Daniel nodded. “Yup. These two years have been nice... I just needed time for myself, that’s all. Time to recharge. I practiced in between, too. I missed dancing a lot, especially.” He took a deep breath, letting it out with a smile. “But I’m ready to head back now.”

“I’m happy to hear that, son.”

“Thanks for letting me have this hiatus.”

“Everyone needs a break. What matters is that you’re happy, Daniel.”

Daniel’s smile grew. “I guess if that’s it, I’ll be going now. I think I’m gonna sleep for a bit and write some lyrics here and there.”

“That’s great. You can tell me anytime when you’re ready to work again.”

“Thanks, father.”

And then Daniel stood up, leaving the room after flashing another polite smile. Again, the two doctors followed— but this time they couldn’t keep silent.

“Daniel’s father...” Jaehwan said, “...seems nice?”

“In this certain memory, yes,” Minhyun replied. “But the thing is, if something important happened between Daniel and his father, Daniel should have remembered. An event of that level of importance should have its place somewhere in these memories. The machine should have detected it.”

“So why didn’t it?” Jaehwan wondered. “Maybe we’ll see in the next memories...” He paused. “Hopefully.”

“Let’s find out,” Minhyun said. _“Pause memory.”_

Daniel froze right in midstep, one of his feet still hanging in the air. The muffled voices behind doors stopped, replaced by the eerie silence of nothing. Minhyun glanced out a nearby window and even saw a bird frozen in midair, its wings spread out.

For the second time, Jaehwan carefully removed the watch from Daniel’s wrist. He looked at it for a bit before handing the memento to Minhyun.

“Hyung, you do it this time.”

“Okay.”

Minhyun punched in the codes. Holding tightly onto the watch, he waited for the confirmative beep that indicated that the memento was ready for activation.  

But it didn’t come.

“That’s odd,” Minhyun muttered under his breath.

“Not again,” Jaehwan sighed. “You need to do it twice, I think.”

“Alright.”

And Minhyun did exactly that, repeating the same steps to the utmost detail. Finally, there was the sound of a familiar beep, and he smiled. Holding it out to his friend, Minhyun saw the unsure expression on Jaehwan’s face.

Wrapping his hand around the memento, Jaehwan looked up, and their eyes connected in the eerie silence.

Minhyun knew his friend well enough to sense the uneasiness in Jaehwan’s composure. His long fingers brushed against Jaehwan’s wrist, and he could feel the quickening pace of the younger doctor’s pulse.

“Something isn’t right, hyung,” Jaehwan finally said.

Minhyun nodded in understanding.

“A glitch in the system shouldn’t be like this. First the memento acting weird, then your eyesight, and now the memento acting weird again...” Jaehwan’s pulse quickened even more. “Something’s wrong.”

“We’ll be alright,” Minhyun said. He smiled his most reassuring and comforting smile. He didn’t deny that things were strange, that something might actually be wrong. It was pure instinct— like alarm bells ringing in his head— that told him that something was off.

But Jaehwan was right there in front of him, looking more than a little scared. And Minhyun had to be there for him.

“Everything will be alright,” Minhyun finished.

The gratefulness in Jaehwan’s eyes was evident. He nodded. “Let’s go then.”

Minhyun gave Jaehwan’s hand a small squeeze, the watch in between their fingers. _“Activate memento.”_

Before everything went black, he saw the younger doctor closing his eyes as if in a prayer.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 28 years old _ **

 

For a bit, Minhyun thought his eyesight was messed up again.

The whiteness had faded normally in less than a minute, but after that he could still see things covered in white.

After a second of silence, he realized that there was just snow everywhere. It was winter again.

He let himself feel relieved— even allowed himself to think that maybe all the abnormalities that they had encountered was just a glitch in the system after all.

And Jaehwan entered the memory right in front of him, their hands still interlocked. The younger of the two let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m glad we didn’t end up on separate sides of the city, hyung.”

“Me too, Jaehwannie.”

And indeed, they were in the city again. It was somewhere on the outskirts, with the streets and roads empty.

Minhyun saw little shops and buildings on each side of the road, with snowflakes piling up on top of storefronts.

At the corner of the road was a large street clock. After letting go of his friend's hand, Minhyun walked towards the clock, snow crunching under his feet.

“2:13 in the afternoon,” he read. “This must be a weekday, since everyone’s probably working and going to school. That explains why the streets are so empty.”

“And,” Jaehwan said, looking at his watch, “Daniel is at 28 years old. It’s winter. If people are already working and school already started, it means we’re somewhere at the end of January. Or February, perhaps.”

“January is when Daniel started his hiatus.”

Jaehwan nodded. “It is.”

 

 

 

 

They saw their client five minutes later.

Daniel appeared from a taxi near the end of the road, thanking the driver before exiting the vehicle. With a smile on his face, he walked down the empty streets, watching his breath hanging in the cold winter air. His cheeks were a lot more filled compared to the memory of when he met his father, his thick clothes wrapped warmly around his body.

Jaehwan seemed to notice too. “From 28 years old to 29 years old— somewhere in that gap, Daniel lost a lot of weight. I wonder why.”

“Maybe a diet?” Minhyun guessed, though he doubted it. Daniel was walking in their direction. “Idols go on strict diets a lot.”

Jaehwan shook his head. “Nah, fans admired Daniel for his well-built body. He didn’t need to lose weight at all.”

“Yeah,” the other doctor confirmed. “I didn’t think so too.”

“He looks happy,” Jaehwan continued. “It's like he’s on his way to meet a friend or something.”

Daniel then passed by them as if they weren’t there— which was pretty much the case. They were still invisible and muted, as usual.

They stared at Daniel’s retreating back for a few seconds before Minhyun said, “Come on, let’s follow him.”

And they did begin to follow him, walking slowly. Daniel strode forwards steadily and confidently, even humming to himself once in a while.

It was then that Minhyun realized something.

He was taking in regular, normal breaths. But he then smelled something— Something that shouldn’t be mixed in with the snow and the empty streets.

An odd, yet unfortunately familiar metallic scent.

It was a scent he’d been forced to get used to during his job. Although Sigmund Corp doctors weren’t like medical doctors that treated physically injured patients, it was still a smell that he encountered many times in client’s memories.

Confirming his thoughts, Jaehwan spoke in a slightly shaky voice.

“Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“I smell blood.”

Minhyun nodded. “Me too.” He paused, looking around and not seeing anything that could have been the source of the smell. “There’s another scent, too.”

“I noticed too. Kind of like— "

Then it happened.

Jaehwan let out a gasp at the same time Minhyun halted in his steps. Their eyes were still on Daniel, but what they saw at that moment caused the alarm bells to ring louder and louder in Minhyun’s head.

He felt a violent chill run down his entire body.

“We need to resurface,” Minhyun finally said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Jaehwan nodded urgently.

Minhyun continued. “We need to exit this memory now. We’ll figure things out, and then we’ll return and continue the procedure."

“Ri-Right, hyung.” With slightly shaking hands, Jaehwan pushed a button on his wristwatch. Trying to keep his voice steady as well, he spoke the command that would send him and Minhyun back to the real world— to Daniel’s real house by the sea.

_“Resurface: Dr. Kim Jaehwan and Dr. Hwang Minhyun.”_

Minhyun felt his body going rigid, unable to move as the Sigmund Corp machine drew him back to reality— away from Kang Daniel’s memory.

A familiar blinding white light filled his entire vision.

Then everything went black.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((I apologize for the cliffhanger.))
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> \--  
>  
> 
> Hi, guys!
> 
> A couple things:
> 
> \- First, I posted this back in chapter 8 but I'm sharing it here again because everyone must see this [ BEAUTIFUL to the moon minhwan art by @2m39_ ㅠ_ㅠ ❤❤❤ ](https://twitter.com/2m39_/status/988093679712616452)  
>   
>  
> 
>  
> 
> *sobs gratefully*
> 
>    
> *wipes tears*
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> next:  
> \- I should be finished with my thesis sometime in the beginning of June, so I could update To the Moon a lot quicker after that :) I really really can't wait to unravel the entire story for you all!
> 
> \- I really wanted to write a special story for Jaehwan's birthday (also set in the To the Moon universe), but there wasn't enough time ㅠ_ㅠ It was gonna be about Minhyun attempting to bake a cake for Jaehwan (with the help of his Aron-hyung) while 2park distracted Jaehwan for the whole day and there would be more character appearances and chaos and it was gonna be fluffy and angst-free and and and asdfghjkl— ㅠ_ㅠ
> 
> \- If anyone's going to the Wanna One concert in Jakarta, let's meet up! :D


	13. flicker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mystery unfolds, little by little.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being pulled back to reality was a weird feeling. A doctor would feel lightheaded, disorientated, and on worse cases even experience a mild to severe form of vertigo.

Keeping his eyes closed for a solid minute, Minhyun let his other senses confirm that he was back at Kang Daniel’s _real_ house.

A slight scent of salt water and peaches. His back leaning against the wooden chair, the small cushions of the Sigmund Corp helmet around his head. The faint sound of waves crashing against the shore. Even the hushed voices of Jisung and Sungwoon.

Minhyun then slowly opened his eyes. It was as if waking up from a very deep sleep.

Slowly looking to his left, he saw the large window overlooking the sea, and the full moon in the sky. And Kang Daniel was there on his bed— 65 years old, ill, and unconscious.

It was a strange feeling, really— to see your client looking so young and healthy in the memories, and then coming back to reality and seeing how they were in the real world. It was also a constant reminder that the doctors’ time was limited. They had to finish the procedure as quickly as possible.

_Time._

Minhyun glanced at the left screen of the Sigmund Corp machine. It was 12:48. He and Jaehwan had been in the machine for four full hours.

Another strange feeling. In the range of just four hours, he had seen half of a man’s lifetime. From Kang Daniel in his current age, all the way to his late 20’s. It felt like a lot more than four hours.

With steady fingers, Minhyun removed the helmet from own head. He set it carefully on the table in front of him.

As the sound of metal on wood cut through the silence, Jisung let out a small gasp and rushed to his side.

“Dr. Hwang,” the elderly man spoke. “Is it done? The procedure?”

There was a hopeful glint in Jisung’s eyes, and Minhyun felt apologetic as he shook his head. “Not yet.” As Jisung’s expression fell, Minhyun quickly continued. “But we’re getting there. We just came across a little bit of technical difficulty. But don’t worry, hyung.” He pulled on a smile, trying to be reassured by his own words as well. “We can easily overcome this.”

Jisung nodded slowly. “I see...”

Minhyun glanced over his shoulder. Jaehwan was still seated on the couch, wiping his eyes, helmet already lying on the cushions next to him.

Jisung followed Minhyun’s gaze. With a concerned face, the elderly man walked towards the younger doctor. “Are you alright, Dr. Kim?”

Jaehwan smiled. “I’m fine. Just a little disorientated. But this is normal.”

With a relieved sigh, Jisung nodded again. He held out his hand, and Jaehwan gratefully took it and climbed to his feet.

Sungwoon joined them, clutching onto the clipboard in his arms. “Daniel’s condition is still stable,” he said. Minhyun could detect the urgency in his voice. “You guys still have until the morning.”

The two doctors nodded in understanding.

“We’ll finish as quickly as we can,” Jaehwan replied.

“Best of luck,” Sungwoon said, trying to give them a comforting smile before returning to Daniel’s side.

“Jisung-hyung.” Minhyun fiddled with the phone in his pockets. Jisung turned to look at him. “Jaehwan and I will make a couple calls to some experts at Sigmund Corp. They’ll help us through this.”

“The signal is a bit stronger on the first floor,” Jisung said.

“Alright. Then we’ll be back in a few minutes after placing the call.”

 

 

 

 

 

As he and Jaehwan climbed down the stairs, they talked in hushed voices.

“You okay?” Minhyun asked, eyeing his friend who treaded carefully in front of him.

“I’m fine,” Jaehwan said, hands on the staircase rail as he continued his way down. “Just a bit shaken from what we saw.”

“It was really shocking.”

“Yeah...”

They made it to the first floor, hearing the slight crackling of fire on wood. The two doctors decided to sit on the couch in front of the fireplace, letting the warmth comfort their bodies for a little bit.

“We’re calling Jonghyun-hyung, aren’t we?” Jaehwan asked. Any form of technical problems was sent to the head of the science and technology department.

“Yeah. Nayoung too.” Minhyun stared at the phone he now held in his hand. “You have a clue on what’s going on, right?”

There was a pause. Minhyun glanced up and saw a slight glint of fear in Jaehwan’s eyes.

“Yes,” the younger doctor finally answered. “I didn’t think it’d happen to our patient, though.”

Minhyun nodded sadly. “Me neither.” After hesitating for a few seconds, he decided to take Jaehwan’s hand— for the sake of calming the younger doctor. They needed to think clearly in this situation.

“Let’s call Jonghyun first,” Minhyun said, in what he hoped was his soothing voice.

Putting the phone on loudspeaker, the two doctors waited with beating hearts for their fellow Sigmund Corp friend to answer.

After three rings, Jonghyun picked up.

_“Hello?”_

“Hyung!”

“Hey, Jonghyun. Sorry for calling so late at night.”

_“Nah, it’s fine. Are you guys done with the procedure already?”_

Jaehwan let out a small sigh. “Not yet, hyung. We encountered a bit of... a problem.”

There was a pause. _“What kind of prob—?”_

_“Jonghyun, who’s that?”_

Another voice joined them on the other end— a female voice that Minhyun recognized immediately.

 _“It’s Minhyun and Jaehwan,”_ Jonghyun answered. _“Wait, I’ll turn on the loudspeaker.”_

“Hi, noona!” Jaehwan greeted.

_“Hi, Jaehwan. Looks like you and Minhyun are working hard as usual.”_

After a split second, Minhyun spoke. “Nayoung. Jonghyun. Where are you guys right now?”

 _“At Sigmund Corp,”_ Nayoung answered. _“Jonghyun’s working on some new tech and I’m accompanying him. Someone needs to be here to make sure he doesn’t fall asleep on some dangerous equipment or something.”_

 _“I’m working on something important,”_ Jonghyun explained. _“But let’s talk about that later. Something must’ve happened for you two to call me while you’re still on a job.”_

“Yes...” Minhyun wondered where he should start. He was grateful to have Jonghyun and Nayoung at the same place— he wouldn’t have to go through the explanation twice.

Jaehwan decided to start it off. “The procedure was going normally at first. We transversed backwards from our client’s memories at 65 years old, all the way to 30 years old. Things were going as usual. But when we entered the memory of our client at 30 years old... Weird things started to happen.” He paused. “The memento took a while to activate. We had to punch in the codes twice. And then when we entered the next memory, Minhyun-hyung...” He paused again.

There was a brief silence in which Minhyun found himself gripping a little tightly onto Jaehwan’s hand. Minhyun thought it was a little funny, how he himself ended up being the one needing comfort. But he couldn’t help it. He remembered the temporary blindness in a foreign environment, the confusion, the brief but agonizing moment of helplessness.

Jonghyun and Nayoung were silent as well, and Minhyun could easily imagine their concerned faces.

“It usually takes Minhyun-hyung a long time to get his eyesight back,” Jaehwan continued. “But this time’s different. Even after two minutes— maybe more— Minhyun-hyung couldn’t see.”

 _“Oh my god."_ It was Nayoung’s voice, slightly shaky.

“But my eyesight returned,” Minhyun quickly cut in, not wanting his friends to worry. He slackened his fingers, loosening the grip on Jaehwan’s hand, not wanting the younger doctor to worry as well. “And it returned normally when we entered the next memory. Don’t worry, guys. It was probably just a small glitch.”

_“I don’t think that’s a glitch, Minhyun.”_

At Nayoung’s words, Minhyun felt his heart drop a little. “I’ll continue explaining the situation first. We found the memento and it acted weird again. We had to input the code twice. And then we entered the next memory. And that’s when things got really weird.”

Jaehwan was holding his hand tightly now. The younger doctor was scared.

Minhyun answered with a squeeze of his hand. _It’s okay,_ he tried to say through the gesture. _Everything will be okay._

 _“What happened?”_ Jonghyun gently urged.

“Everything looked normal at first,” Minhyun said. “Our client arrived at the spot. He walked for a bit, as if he was going somewhere. But then me and Jaehwan started smelling something, but that something wasn’t anywhere to be seen.”

“Blood,” Jaehwan continued, his voice quiet. “We smelled blood.”

“And peaches,” Minhyun finished. “We also smelled peaches.” He let out a tiny laugh, trying to make the mood any less suffocating. “What a weird combination, right? Blood and peaches.”

There was a long silence as Jonghyun and Nayoung seemed to take it in.

 _“But you couldn’t see blood or peaches anywhere?”_ Jonghyun then asked.

“No. But me and Jaehwan both smelled it. The smell was definitely there.” Minhyun took a small breath. “That’s not even the weirdest part. What made us resurface is what happened after that.”

 _This was it,_ he thought. _The confirmation._

“Our client,” Minhyun said, “started flickering.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from the other end.

“He started flickering like a broken television screen,” Minhyun continued. “Like how mementos flicker. But it wasn’t just that.” He relived the encounter, remembering how he felt when he saw Kang Daniel at that one moment. “Our client, he... It was as if he was flickering between two images.”

“One second we’d see our client walking down the street, looking all happy,” Jaehwan said. “And then he’d flicker and then we’d see him hunched over, crying his eyes out.” Jaehwan’s voice lowered. “And between the crying, he’d scream something. But somehow we couldn’t hear him. It was if he was muted to us. But he was definitely screaming something. Then he’d flicker again, and the image of him crying was gone, replaced by the image of him walking down the street while smiling.”

“And it happened again. Our client would flicker again and he’d be crying and screaming again. A few seconds and a flicker later, he’d be the happy walking person again. And the pattern would continue. A flicker and a change. Another flicker and another change.”

“So me and Minhyun-hyung decided to resurface. We knew something was wrong. And we both had a guess on what it was.”

“Nayoung.” The firmness in Minhyun’s voice surprised even himself. _This was it._ “What’s happening now... Does it have anything to do with the case that you solved last year?”

There was a pause, and Minhyun was afraid that they had lost the phone’s signal. But then Nayoung’s voice cut through the silence, as clear as day.

 _“Yes,”_ she said. Minhyun didn’t even need to mention which case. They all knew _. “I’m sure that what’s happening now is connected.”_

Minhyun closed his eyes and he could remember himself from a year ago—a slightly younger Minhyun, sitting in the Sigmund Corp cafeteria with his friends. He remembered asking Nayoung about her department, about old cases. Nayoung had replied with a firm nod, told him that she was getting to the roots of an old case and was ready to put an end to it.

And months after she declared those words, she did put an end to it. She put an absolute end to the group of employees that had left Sigmund Corp. To the group that had modified and exploited the Sigmund Corp technology thoughout the very long years.

_It was them. It had to be._

Focusing on his thoughts, Minhyun recalled all that he knew and heard.

Over forty years ago, a handful of Sigmund Corp employees decided that they could do more than just grant artificial wishes. They felt that the company’s rules and boundaries were holding down the true potential of the technology. After clashing opinions with the director and the science department, that handful of employees decided to withdraw from the company, bringing the technology and knowledge with them.

The technology was modified and developed for their own purposes— for their own gains. Just like doctors, they offered their services of memory alteration.

The group called themselves the X-Corp.

While Sigmund Corp was controversial at times, it was by no means illegal. The old company stood strong throughout the years, backing itself up with sound arguments and successful cases of satisfied clients. The procedure itself could only be done with the consent of the client, _after_ the client had read the paperwork thoroughly and signed it all.

X-Corp, on the other hand, was the exact opposite of legal. The business that they opened had no boundaries. Clients were allowed to force memory alterations onto other people against their will. Stories had circulated about the illegal company— about how murderers and serious offenders had requested the services of X-Corp to erase the memories of eyewitnesses. Other people decided to use the services for revenge’s sake— perhaps to mess with an ex-lover’s mind. Or perhaps to get rid of business rivals and enemies.

Whatever it was, it ended up with the victims having tampered memories of fake events, of things that never actually happened. Some were driven insane after encountering contradicting facts that did not make sense with their artificial memories. The client got what they want and X-Corp was paid finely in return. And it continued for decades.

Not many people knew of X-Corp. Only those who dwelled in dark, shady businesses somehow had the chance of hearing about X-Corp’s services. But somewhere along the way, word would slip out and even normal people would hear about it. Even so, those normal people preferred to keep the information to themselves, not wanting to get involved.

The police’s many attempts of tracking down the illegal company were futile. It was believed that X-Corp had no fixed base and was always moving to avoid being discovered. X-Corp remained hidden at unknown locations, receiving calls from clients and sending out agents to perform the procedures. That was, until Nayoung came along.

Long after the formation of X-Corp, Im Nayoung was born and grew up to be the person that would bring it all down. Along with her investigation team, she had tracked down the location and infiltrated the base. The illegal company had grown throughout the years with new, younger members. There were dozens of them.

The head of X-Corp and the employees were finally captured and put behind bars. Their technology was confiscated and sent to Sigmund Corp’s science department for analysis.

Unfortunately, the fact remained that the victims were still out there— living with tampered memories. Their identities were unknown. X-Corp did all that could be done to erase any records of both victims and clients. And no amount of interrogation could force them to give even the slightest bit of information. Some X-Corp employees even claimed that they couldn’t remember who their clients and victims were.

 _It was as if they got rid of all memories regarding the procedures they did._ It was a theory that Nayoung had thought of, but even until now it was still unclear.

A case of Sigmund Corp doctors encountering a victim was exceptionally rare. Rare— but it happened.

_“Your client is a victim of X-Corp.”_

Nayoung’s voice drew Minhyun back to the current situation. He opened his eyes, feeling the heat from the fireplace in front of him and the warmth of Jaehwan’s hand in his.

“Kang Daniel is a victim,” Jaehwan said softly, low enough that only Minhyun heard.

Minhyun nodded once. The flickering images of Daniel appeared in his mind again. It was a telltale sign of a tampered memory. Sigmund Corp doctors were informed of the signs, of the things that indicated that X-Corp had been in the client’s mind before.

If— by the smallest of possibilities— that a Sigmund Corp doctor would have a client with tampered memories, they had two choices. To abort the procedure or continue.

Minhyun glanced at his friend. Jaehwan stared back with a determined look in his eyes.

“What do you think?” Minhyun asked, though he knew the answer.

“We need to fulfill our client’s wish,” Jaehwan said, without a second of hesitation.  

“Agreed.” Minhyun turned back to the phone in his hands. “We want to continue the procedure.”

 _“It’s dangerous,”_ Nayoung said quietly _. “The faulty mementos and Minhyun’s temporary blindness... I’m pretty sure they’re all X-Corp’s doing.”_ There was a silence. _“During their procedure, X-Corp would put in extra measures to ensure that no one else would want to do anything with the victim’s memories. That includes Sigmund Corp doctors. All of the things that you thought were glitches were actually X-Corp’s way of saying ‘get out and leave our victim alone’. It was a warning, Minhyun.”_

 _“Sigmund Corp doctors can’t get hurt in memories,”_ Jonghyun then said, sounding tense. _“But in this special case, it could happen.”_

 _“Not just physically.”_ The worry in Nayoung’s voice was obvious _. “But also mentally. You both know this.”_

“We know,” Jaehwan said firmly. “But we want to keep going.”  

Another silence.

 _“Jaehwan, Minhyun.”_ Nayoung was speaking slowly, emphasizing her words carefully. _“I know what the X-Corp is capable of. What if something happens to you both?”_

“We’ll be extra careful,” Minhyun answered, and he felt Jaehwan gripping his hand tighter.

 _“Guys.”_ It was Jonghyun this time, voice urgent as well. _“Me and Nayoung are just really worried. But if we can’t say anything to change your minds, we’ll accept that too.”_

 _“If things get really bad, know that you are allowed to abort the procedure,”_ Nayoung finished.  

“We’ll keep that in mind.” Minhyun felt uneasy but determined.

 _“Okay.”_ Jonghyun let out a small, tired sigh. _“Right now I’ll send a code to your Sigmund Corp machine. You’ll need to do some inputting yourselves, but it shouldn’t take more than twenty minutes. The code will let you see your client’s real memories.”_

“Thank you, Jonghyun.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

 _“Please be careful, you two.”_ It was Nayoung again. _“Minhyun, look after Jaehwan. Jaehwan, look after Minhyun. Take care of each other in there.”_

“We will, noona.”

 _“Call us when you’re both done with the procedure,”_ Jonghyun said.

“We will. And we’ll be _fine_.” Minhyun felt slightly reassured by his own words. “Don’t worry.”

When the call ended, he tried not to think of how the phone’s never ending beep sounded like a heart monitor flatlining.

 

 

 

A few seconds later and Jaehwan stood up, letting go of Minhyun’s hand. “Well,” he declared. “This is a lot to take in.”

“Who do you think forced the procedure on Daniel?” Minhyun muttered, staring at the fireplace. He let the sound of crackling wood slightly calm down his nerves.

“I think we both have a hunch on who it is, hyung.”

“Yeah...”

“Now we have to find out why Daniel’s memories were tampered in the first place. And _what exactly_ was tampered.” Jaehwan then flopped down onto the couch again, leaning against the armrest. “The flickering images of Daniel at 28 years old... The image of Daniel crying... That must’ve been the real memory.”

“But Daniel no longer remembers that real memory. The image of him smiling and looking fine must have been artificial memories that X-Corp implanted in his mind,” Minhyun concluded. He rubbed his eyes, feeling tired already. “X-Corp was trying to cover something. Trying to replace something.”

“And it worked. Daniel believed in those artificial memories. The flickering is only visible to Sigmund Corp doctors performing the procedure. Thanks to the Sigmund Corp machines.”

Things were starting to make a lot more sense. In Minhyun’s mind, he found explanations and theories to the questions that had appeared during the memory procedure. Now all he had to do was confirm those theories.

“Daniel managed to stay sane,” Minhyun then commented. Sigmund Corp employees were always informed of any new case regarding X-Corp victims. He remembered a lot of the victims losing their minds after encountering things that contradicted with the artificial memories.

“Victims lost their grip on reality,” Jaehwan muttered. “Some were unable to trust anyone anymore. And the worst cases...” He was also staring at the fire, at the wood being consumed by the flame. “X-Corp made sure that any attempts of regaining the real memories would be impossible. I remember cases where friends and families of victims tried to convince the victims that the memories they believed in were fake. But such direct attempts would trigger a certain reaction in the victim’s brain. A reaction that X-Corp had planted in there.” He then shivered. “We could think of it as a mental explosion. A silent _boom._ The brain would stop functioning. It would shut down.”

A long silence. Jaehwan’s voice was as quiet as ever when he finished.

“And the victim would die.”

The silence then continued.

“Somehow,” Minhyun said softly. “Daniel managed to evade all that.”

“Yeah...”

“You know... Jonghyun still feels guilty for not being able to do anything,” Minhyun then said. “Him and the science department... They’re trying so hard to develop a safe way of regaining the victims' real memories back. They tried analyzing X-Corp’s technology so many times, to try to figure out a way of reversing the procedure. But it really does seem impossible. X-Corp really made sure it was all permanent and irreversible. Plus, it’d be dangerous to actually attempt to perform another procedure for getting those memories back. It could be too much for the mind to take. The brain could stop functioning altogether due to the strain.”

“Jonghyun-hyung shouldn’t feel guilty for that,” Jaehwan mumbled. “Also, he managed to develop the code that’ll let us see the real memories.”

Minhyun remembered Jonghyun’s tired face on the day he finished developing the code. He remembered the shadows under Jonghyun’s eyes, the small yet sad smile on his face.

 _“I can’t bring back the real memories for the victims,”_ Jonghyun had announced. _“But at least those real memories can be seen by the doctors. The doctors can then continue the procedure, if they choose to. The client’s wish can still be fulfilled. It’s... It’s the least I can do to help.”_

Minhyun then allowed himself to stare at the boy next to him. A second later and Jaehwan glanced in his direction.

“What?”

“Are you nervous, Jaehwan?”

Jaehwan pulled on a faint smile. “A little. But this isn’t the first time it happened. I think it’s already happened... once... or twice before? Doctors encountered clients whose minds were tampered by the X-Corp. But they still managed to fulfill the wish.”

“We just have to be careful.”

“Yes. We just have to be careful.”

Minhyun then glanced at the phone in his hands, at the digital clock on the screen. “I should head back upstairs. The machine should be processing the code now.”

Jaehwan nodded. “I’ll join you in five minutes. I gotta make a quick call first.”

“Alright.” Minhyun gave his friend a pat on the shoulder before making his way to the stairs. His steps were firm and determined.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Slipping out of the house, Jaehwan was immediately hit by the cold air of autumn.

He shivered, clutching at his labcoat and wrapping it around his body. The sea looked dark and slightly menacing in front of him, the wind blowing at his hair. Taking out his phone and dialing a familiar number, he took a seat on one of the porch’s wooden chairs.

It took a few rings, but the person on the other end eventually picked up.

A deep, sleepy voice sounded through the speakers.

_“...Jaehwannie-hyung?”_

“Hi, Hyunbin,” Jaehwan replied with a smile. “Sorry, did I wake you up?”

_“It’s fine... Us Sigmund Corp people are pretty much nocturnal anyways. Are you on a job right now, hyung?”_

“Yes, I am.”

_“Is it a difficult one?”_

“...I guess you can say that. Hey, uh, listen... I have a favor to ask of you.”

_“Sure, hyung.”_

As always, Kwon Hyunbin was such a loyal friend. Jaehwan remembered how the two of them would drink together after work hours, talking about the things going on in each other’s lives— even their problems and worries. They had first met during the first month of Jaehwan becoming a doctor, and Minhyun had grown fond of the tall boy as well.

“It may sound like a strange favor. But just trust me on this one.”

_“Alright.”_

Jaehwan took a deep breath before spilling out his request. Half a minute later and he felt the blood roaring in his ears, waiting for Hyunbin’s confirmation.

 _“I can do that, hyung. But...”_ The sleepiness was gone from the younger man’s voice.

“Yes?”

_“I’m worried about you, hyung.”_

Jaehwan let out a small chuckle. “Now why would you be worried about me, Hyunbinnie?”

_“It’s just...”_

“Don’t worry.” Jaehwan listened to the waves crashing against the shore, his eyes on the moon in the sky. “I’ll be fine.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun finished inputting the last bit of the code, letting out a sigh. He leaned against the chair and watched the machine as it processed.

Jisung was sitting next to Daniel. The room was silent except for the sound of Sungwoon scribbling on his clipboard and the steady beep of the cardiac monitor.

Jaehwan entered the room with droopy eyes. He took a seat next to Minhyun and glanced at the machine’s three screens.

“Still processing the code, huh?” Jaehwan asked.

“Yeah,” Minhyun answered. “It’ll take at least another ten minutes.”

Sungwoon walked over to them, setting the clipboard on the table. “I’m gonna go make some coffee. Anyone want some?”

Jaehwan grinned. “I’d like some, please.”

With a nod, Sungwoon turned to Minhyun. “How about you, Dr. Hwang?”

“Minhyun-hyung doesn’t drink coffee,” Jaehwan said.

“Ah, I see.”

“Thanks for the offer, though,” Minhyun added.

“Us doctors need to look out for each other,” Sungwoon said with a bright smile. He then left the room, and for the next few seconds they could hear the faint sound of his footsteps going down the stairs.

It was the little things that made Minhyun feel warm and fuzzy inside— such as Jaehwan remembering the fact that he didn’t like coffee. He held tightly onto the warm feeling, knowing that whatever would happen next would be far from such comforting emotions. Even the past few hours had been emotionally draining.

And Minhyun could easily see the fatigue in his friend’s face. Jaehwan, after all, had stayed up the night before to do research on their client. Minhyun remembered waking up in the middle of the night to see Jaehwan’s still empty bed (even though, hours ago, Jaehwan had promised that he would sleep soon). Minhyun also remembered going to the living room to see Jaehwan still seated at the kitchen table, eyes fixed on an article he had opened on his laptop.

Minhyun wondered if the younger doctor even had at least three hours of sleep.

“You know,” he said. “Since we’re waiting for another ten minutes, I think you should take a short nap.”

“A nap, huh...” Jaehwan muttered.

“A little power nap. I’ll wake you up in ten minutes.”

Jaehwan smiled a tired little smile. “You’re the best, hyung.” Using his arms as a pillow, he rested his head on the table, falling asleep almost immediately.

Minhyun couldn’t help but let the affectionate smile spread across his face. “Sleep tight,” he said gently. A few strands of hair were getting in Jaehwan’s eyes. Minhyun carefully swept them to the side. “Told you your bangs were getting too long,” he muttered, though of course the younger doctor didn’t answer, already deep in slumber.

Slowly to make sure the chair didn't creak, Minhyun stood up. He walked over to his client who lay almost motionless on the bed, putting a comforting hand on Jisung’s shoulder.

Jisung had been staring intently at Daniel’s unconscious figure, but he looked up at the doctor’s touch.

“The machine is configuring a couple of codes,” Minhyun said gently. “Jaehwan and I will continue the procedure in a couple minutes.”

“Thank you for working so hard,” Jisung replied, smiling gratefully.

Minhyun smiled back. “You know, hyung... We saw you in Daniel’s memories.”

Jisung chuckled. “Really?”

Minhyun nodded, glad that he could offer at least this much comfort to Jisung.

“I bet Seongwoo was in a lot of the memories,” the elderly man then said with a playful smirk.

“Well...” Minhyun said.

“Did you see the memory of when they first met? I’ve always wondered how it was like. Daniel called me shortly after that to tell me all about the boy he met.”

“Yes, Jaehwan and I saw that memory.”

“And...?”

“Daniel was absolutely whipped.”

Jisung chuckled again, clapping his hands.

“And throughout the years,” Minhyun continued, and there was a gentleness to his voice. “Daniel loved Seongwoo. And Seongwoo loved Daniel. Jaehwan and I could easily see that.”

Jisung nodded. “Yes... You know, on the day Daniel proposed to Seongwoo, he called me.” Jisung then glanced at Daniel, who breathed steadily. “He told me all about it. He told me how Seongwoo tearfully said to him, _‘Niel-ah, you have no idea how long I waited to hear you say that’._ I felt reassured. I knew that Seongwoo was the one for Daniel _._ ”

“They were very happy together,” Minhyun said, his voice warm.

“I’m happy to hear that.” For a few seconds the cardiac monitor filled the room with its beeps. Then Jisung asked a question, catching Minhyun off guard.

“Tell me, Dr. Hwang... Have you ever been in love?”

Minhyun coughed and suddenly found the outside view very interesting. He stared intensely at the moon, already feeling his ears going red.

“That’s a yes,” Jisung said with a grin.

He couldn’t help it. Minhyun spared a brief glance in Jaehwan’s direction. As if it was pure instinct.

Jaehwan was still fast asleep.

“Ah.” Following Minhyun’s gaze, Jisung’s voice was filled with fondness. “I see.”

Minhyun knew it was useless to deny it. It seemed that nearly everyone around him could figure it out so easily— that is, except Jaehwan himself.

“I currently am,” the doctor admitted. “Have been for a long time.”

“Are you and Dr. Kim together?” Jisung asked.

There it was again. That ache in his chest. “No,” Minhyun answered, a half smile on his face. “He’s my friend.”

“Ah... Just your friend?”

“...And my work partner. And my roommate.”

“I wonder.” Jisung looked at him curiously. “How were you two paired up as work partners?”

“The company paired us up, thinking we were compatible with each other.”

“You and Dr. Kim sound inseparable.”

The smile grew a little. “I hear that a lot.”

“A little more and you two might as well get married.”

Minhyun coughed again and stared out the window. _What a pretty moon._

Jisung chuckled. “Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

“Because I don’t think he feels the same way about me.”

There was something with Jisung that made Minhyun surprisingly comfortable with voicing out his thoughts— even his fears. Jisung had that genuinely kind and accepting vibe. Minhyun could easily understand why Daniel was so grateful to have Jisung by his side.

“I’m afraid,” Minhyun said.

“Afraid of what?” Jisung asked gently.

“Of the possibilities. What if he never looked at me as more than a friend? What if I just ruined what we had, and things become weird between us? What if we can never go back? What if I lose him?” Minhyun’s voice lowered. “I don’t want to lose him.”

Seconds passed.

Minhyun then turned to look at Jisung, trying to pull on a smile. “What we have now... It’s fine. He’s here and that’s enough for me.”

“Dr. Hwang,” Jisung said, voice still gentle. “You’re afraid of the bad _what if’s._ But the good _what if’s..._  Have you ever thought of them?”

Minhyun was silent.

“You might miss out on those good ones,” Jisung continued.

There was strength and a sort of emotion in Jisung’s voice— as if he was speaking from experience. And it was clear of how he truly wanted to help others.

Kang Daniel really was lucky to have Yoon Jisung by his side.

Minhyun let himself smile. “Hyung...”

“Don’t live a life with regrets, Dr. Hwang.”

And those were the words that continued to echo in Minhyun’s head.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Five minutes later, Sungwoon returned with two cups of coffee. He set one down next to Jaehwan, picked up his clipboard, and sipped on his own cup before returning to stand by the cardiac monitor.

Minhyun gently shook his friend’s shoulder. “Jaehwan, wake up. The machine will be ready soon.”

After a few seconds, Jaehwan slowly opened his eyes. He let out a tiny groan before sitting up, hands automatically reaching for the cup of coffee and bringing it to his mouth. “I’m ready.”

“When we get back in there,” Minhyun said quietly, “there will be no more flickering images. No more fake memories. We’ll see Daniel’s real memories.”

“Right.” Jaehwan stood up, holding onto the cup, already halfway drained of coffee. “Let’s do this.”

When they explained to Jisung and Sungwoon that the procedure would continue shortly, Minhyun turned to look at Daniel.

 _Hang in there, Daniel,_ Minhyun thought. _Hang in there._

“We’ll try to finish as quickly as possible,” Jaehwan said.

Sungwoon nodded. “Keep an eye on that portable heart monitor I gave you. Daniel’s condition is fairly stable now, but it might not be in the next hours.” He looked down sadly.

Jisung gripped tightly onto Daniel’s limp hand.

A loud beep then sounded from behind them. The Sigmund Corp doctors glanced over their shoulders, knowing what it meant.

“The machine’s ready,” Minhyun informed.

“Yes,” Jaehwan said. “It’s time.”

Taking a deep breath, Minhyun took one last glance around the room— taking in the view of Kang Daniel unconscious on his bed with Jisung seated next to him, the dim lights, the open window and the moon shining above, at the desk with a bowl of peaches on it.

He then furrowed his brow. Something had dawned on him. “Jisung-hyung...”

Jisung perked up. “Yes, Dr. Hwang?”

“Why are there so many bowls of peaches around the house?”

With a small hum, Jisung answered, “Seongwoo would always put bowls of peaches in almost every room of his and Daniel’s home.”

“Why, though?”

“Maybe because Daniel looked like Apeach,” Jisung said. “Maybe it reminded Seongwoo of Daniel.” He bit his lip. “After Seongwoo passed away, Daniel continued putting peaches around the house. And he kept up the habit even at this house by the sea. I asked him why and he said that bowls of peaches at home made him feel like Seongwoo was still there.”

“Right...” Minhyun said, voice trailing off. He then turned to Jaehwan, who stared back at him with a thoughtful look.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun ensured Jisung that everything would be okay. Jaehwan thanked Sungwoon for the coffee. And the two doctors locked eyes before sitting on their respective seats— Minhyun in front of the machine, Jaehwan on the couch behind him.

“Huh...” the older doctor said, eyes on the screens.

“What is it, hyung?”

“It says that the memory of Daniel at 29 years old was tampered with.” Minhyun double-checked and confirmed it. “X-Corp must have started their memory alteration there.”

“I knew there was something off with the November memory,” Jaehwan muttered.

“Me too.” Minhyun took a deep breath. “We’ll start there, then.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll see you there, Jaehwannie.”

“See you, hyung.”

There was a faint _beep_ of Jaehwan’s helmet, indicating that the younger doctor was ready.

Minhyun slipped on his own helmet. He pressed the activation button, feeling his heart begin to beat faster.

“Here we go,” he said, closing his eyes. _“Initiate.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > “It’s an old case, but we’re working on putting an end to it.”   
>    
>  “Is it the same one you told me about before?”
>> 
>> Another nod. “We’re getting to the roots of it.
>> 
>> It was an old case indeed, dating back years ago. A group of Sigmund Corp employees had decided to leave the company, bringing along both data and knowledge about its technology. They began exploiting and modifying that technology for their own purposes, and even starting an illegal business. It worried Minhyun to imagine his friend investigating something so shady.
> 
> — To the Moon, chapter 9
> 
>  
>
>> Jaehwan put a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, giving it a little comforting squeeze.
>> 
>> The elderly man nodded in response. “I’m glad you boys are here. Technology is an amazing thing, isn’t it? Thankfully, you two are using it for a good cause.” He sighed. “Lately I heard that people have been using it for bad things.”
> 
>   
> 
> 
> — To the Moon, chapter 2
> 
> Foreshadowing and hinting since the second chapter ;) 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ____
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Hi, guys! :D I’m so excited to announce a couple of things:
> 
> \- I finished my thesis (and thesis defense) and will be graduating with a bachelor’s degree this August :) thanks so much for giving me strength with your amazing comments, guys! 
> 
> Also, this means that I can update a lot faster than before :D Yay
> 
>  
> 
> \- I’m now active on my twitter account, so if you want to see me screaming about various fandoms (and maybe occasional tweets about my story progresses), here’s my twitter: [@myday_blackrose](https://twitter.com/myday_blackrose)
> 
>  
> 
> NOW TO THE REALLY EXCITING PART.
> 
> \- I wrote the Jaehwan birthday fic! :D Here it is: [a light in the dark ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957130)
> 
> This also launches the series title of the To the Moon AU— __[“your mind’s catalyst”](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1048725)  
>  I have a lot planned for the series, including the 2park spin-off and more :)
> 
> \- I also *cough* started a new AU story. *cough*  
>  superpower AU with ongniel, minhwan, and more pairings: [“Meteor Showers” ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14954834/chapters/34654448)
> 
>  
> 
> And that concludes this long af end notes.  
>  Thanks so much for sticking with me, guys :”) it really really means a lot.


	14. please...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A heads up. The story will get really dark :(

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

**_ SIGMUND TIMELINE:  
Kang Daniel  - 29 years old _ **

Jaehwan tried to think of all the scenarios that might happen.

A lot of them made him feel more than a little uneasy. But for the meantime he would push back the uneasiness and keep going.

Jaehwan’s eyesight returned quickly. The blurriness quickly disappeared, the view in front of him sharpening into focus.

A sense of déjà vu hit him. They were back in the same hallway of Daniel’s agency— the same walls, the same floors, the same window at the end of the hall. Everything looked exactly the same.

But this time, Minhyun was right next to him.

The older doctor placed a hand on Jaehwan’s shoulder. “You okay?” he asked.

Jaehwan nodded. He was feeling nervous already. “Yeah. Can you see yet?”

“No. Still blurry,” Minhyun answered. At the look of panic on Jaehwan’s face, he quickly continued, “But it’s coming back quickly. Don’t worry.”

Letting out a relieved sigh, Jaehwan nodded again. “Okay.”

“We should look for Daniel.”

“Right.” Jaehwan reached over and took Minhyun’s hand. “I’ll guide the way until your eyesight comes back.”

And they set off. The younger doctor couldn’t help but still feel nervous. He felt vulnerable and skittish— as if he was laid bare for the world to see. Every time somebody passed by them, Jaehwan couldn’t help but feel tense, and he had to constantly remind himself that he and Minhyun were invisible and muted to the residents of Kang Daniel’s memories. 

 _Chill_ , Jaehwan told himself.  _It's not like they're gonna attack you or anything._

But knowing what X-Corp could do... The two doctors had to be careful. Always had to be ready for anything. It was a sort of mutual, silent understanding between him and Minhyun. They knew what they should and should not be doing. Knew to avoid trouble or any risks. Knew to look after each other.

They passed by more rooms— including the one with a calendar that indicated the beginning of November. By then Minhyun’s eyesight had returned, and they were keeping a careful lookout for their client.

Jaehwan _knew_ that there was something off with the “fake” memory of November— the one that they had entered previously. Jisung had said that November was the start of Daniel’s two-month disappearance. Yet _nothing_ between Daniel and his father’s conversation indicated any reason for the disappearance. Nothing that indicated why Daniel cut himself off from the world— from his friends. 

And that certain conversation turned out to be artificial— a tampering of X-Corp for reasons still unknown to them.

But Jaehwan knew who was behind it. There had to be a reason why Seongwoo resented Daniel’s father, even after the latter’s death.

With that thought in mind, Jaehwan held tightly onto Minhyun’s hand as they climbed the stairs to the floor above. They would get their answers. Very soon.

“I think Daniel might be on his way to meet his father,” Minhyun said, as they climbed the last step and was greeted by the same hallway that led to the CEO’s room. They rounded the same corner and nearly bumped into Kang Daniel _again._

Jaehwan took one look at Daniel and let go of Minhyun’s hand. He covered his mouth, instinctively stifling a silent gasp.

“Oh my god,” Minhyun whispered.

The healthy-looking Daniel they had seen in the fake memory was, undoubtedly, a fake shadow of how the real Daniel was.

The _real_ Daniel— the Daniel that was now right in front of them— looked like he was going to collapse at any second.

Shadows underneath bloodshot eyes. Unkempt, tousled hair. Wrinkled clothes that looked like they had been thrown on carelessly at the last minute. And a stagger in his steps, uneasy and weak.

That was the real Kang Daniel. And it took only a few seconds for Jaehwan to realize that Daniel looked a lot thinner than what the fake memory suggested. With visibly sunken cheeks, it was clear that Daniel hadn’t been eating enough.

Jaehwan felt his hand drop. He knew that empty look in Daniel’s eyes. It was the same look that Jaehwan saw from his own reflection in the mirror, during the days after saying goodbye to his first client. 

It looked like Kang Daniel had lost someone. Someone important to him.

“Come on,” Minhyun then said gently. They followed after Daniel who continued to tread at a slow and unsteady pace.

Walking by Daniel’s side, Jaehwan spared another glance. It was clear that Daniel hadn’t been sleeping well. The exhaustion and fatigue was clear on his face.

Finally reaching the CEO’s door, Daniel knocked three times. Each knock was so faint that Jaehwan wondered if it could actually be heard inside.

“Father,” Daniel said, his voice quiet. “It’s me.”

The answer came immediately.

_“Come in, Daniel.”_

Daniel bit his lip, took a deep breath, and pulled on a smile. He then opened the door and stepped inside.

It was painful to watch. It was clear that Daniel was hurting, yet it appeared that he was forcing himself to pretend that things were okay.

The two doctors followed with heavy hearts. Whatever was going to happen next, they had to accept that it happened— no matter how horrible it was.

At first, things were similar to the fake memory— and yet there were differences. The first noticeable difference was the blinds that covered the room’s large window. But the ceiling's lights kept the room bright.

Ahn Junyoung, at the same position as the fake memory, gestured for his son to take a seat on the couch, in which Daniel did just that. 

There was a brief silence, with Daniel still keeping the smile on his face, before Junyoung spoke again.

“Have a drink, son.” He gestured to a glass of water on the table. “You must be thirsty.”

“Thanks, father,” Daniel answered. “The elevator’s broken, so I had to take the stairs.” He reached for the glass, bringing it to his lips.

“Yes, the elevator’s still being fixed.”

Minhyun whispered to Jaehwan’s ear, “He must’ve taken the stairs on the other side of the building.”

“Yeah, we didn’t see him,” Jaehwan said.

As Daniel drank, Junyoung continued. “The maintenance man told me that it’d be fixed by the end of the day. This isn’t something that happens often, so it’s kind of puzzling. But we’ll get it working in no time.”

There was a slight _clink_ noise as Daniel set the now-empty glass back on the table. “Good to hear. So, uh... You wanted to see me?”

Junyoung’s brow was furrowed. Concern could be seen in his eyes. “Yes. I just wanted to know how you were doing. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

The sense of déjà vu was _crazy_. Jaehwan found a part of him hoping for Daniel to answer with the same _‘I’m fine’_ and a smile.

But the smile faded from Daniel’s face. He tried to pull it back on, but it wasn’t convincing. “It’s hard,” he said. “It really is. But I’m making it through the days. I... I think I’m feeling better as time passes.”

“Are you sure?” Junyoung folded his hands and set them on the table.

“Yeah... I just need time, father.”

It was as if a shadow passed over Junyoung’s face. His gaze suddenly hardened. “It’s already been two years, Daniel." He then paused and corrected himself. " _Nearly_ two years. That’s already quite a lot of time.”

Daniel’s fingers began to curl around the couch’s armrest. “I... I’m really trying.” His voice sounded _so_ small that it hurt Jaehwan to hear it.

“Daniel, I’m worried about you.”

A shaky breath escaped from Daniel’s lips. The smile was completely gone from his face, despite his attempts of trying to bring it back. “You don’t have to worry about me, really. I’m... I’ll be okay.”

“When was the last time you slept?”

“I—”

“And when was the last time you had a proper meal?”

The questions seemed to trigger something inside of Daniel. He looked frailer, more vulnerable. But he answered as steadily as he could. “I know I look really bad right now,” he said slowly. “But there are times when I do think I’m feeling better. It’s just...” He then paused, as if it pained him to continue.

Junyoung urged him gently. “Just what, son?”

“I had a dream,” Daniel then said, his voice soft. “A few weeks ago. I dreamed of him. He was smiling at me, as if everything was okay. He was hugging me, like how he’d always hug me. I felt so happy.” Another pause, and Daniel’s voice became quieter with each word. “But then I woke up. Realized it was a dream. Realized that he wasn’t with me anymore.” His hand clutched tighter onto the armrest. “That dream... it broke me.”

“And now?” Junyoung was staring hard again.

“Like I said...” Daniel's gaze was on the floor. He wiped at his tired-looking eyes. “I’m trying.”

“Daniel...” Junyoung slightly leaned forwards, speaking gently. “I know it hurts.” He pulled on a sad, yet hopeful smile. “Hey... Do you remember the solution that I offered you?”

At those words, Daniel looked up, locking eyes with his father. “I thought I made it clear how I felt about it.”

“Yes, but...” Junyoung let out a sigh. “Daniel, you need to think about your own life. About what’s good for you.”

“And what?” There was an incredulous tone in Daniel’s voice. “You think having my memory wiped is _good_ for me?”

Jaehwan grabbed onto Minhyun’s arm. “Hyung.”

“This is it,” Minhyun said quietly, eyes fixed on their client. Jaehwan spared a brief glance at Minhyun’s tense and concerned expression. Then he himself turned back to see Daniel sitting up straight with a face full of disbelief.

“Daniel...” Junyoung began.

“No, father,” Daniel said quickly. “Why would I do that? And why do you keep suggesting it? It’s horrible.”

“Daniel, please listen to me.” Junyoung let out another sigh. “You could get rid of every painful memory. You could smile again. You could go back to living well like before. You could go back to the work you love.” His eyes softened. “All you have to do is just let yourself forget.”

“I don’t want to forget.” Daniel let out a shaky breath. “Why would I want to forget?”

“You’ve been in pain long enough, son. And you’re almost turning 30. Your birthday’s just around the corner. You know how hard it would be... being an idol at that age.”

Daniel laughed— it sounded small and desperate. “There are idols already past their 30’s and they’re still thriving.”

“Yes,” Junyoung answered, a stern look on his face. “But it’s not guaranteed the same will happen to you. And it’s not just about your job, Daniel. It’s about _you._ I want you to be happy again.”

“No.” Daniel shook his head. “I said no before. And I'm saying no again now. I don’t want to, father.”

There was another silence. Again, Daniel rubbed at his eyes.

“Are you feeling tired, son?” Junyoung asked.

“Yeah... Sorry,” Daniel answered, sounding a little groggy. “I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

“I understand.”

Daniel seemed to sink a little into the couch.

“You could sleep here for a while, if you want to.”

“No, it’s fine...” Daniel’s grip on the armrest had slackened. He was struggling to sit up again. “I’ll rest at home...”

There was another silence— an achingly long one this time.

Then Junyoung spoke, his voice as soft as ever.

“I don’t think you’d make it home, son.”

Confusion had made its way on Daniel’s face. He could barely keep his eyes open, but he glanced up at his father— then at the empty glass on the table.

The confusion was replaced with realization and horror. Daniel then began to desperately stand, his hands gripping tightly onto the armrest. “Father— What did—” He lost his grip, knees buckling and he fell back into the couch again. His words were slightly slurred. “What did you do?”

Junyoung then stood up, walking around the table and taking a seat next to his son. “This is for your own good, Daniel.”

“No— Please.” Daniel’s arms reached out, his fingers gripping weakly but desperately onto the other man’s arms. “ _Please._ I don’t want to forget.”

With a sad and pained expression, Junyoung wrapped an arm around Daniel’s shaking shoulders. “It’ll all be over soon.”

“I don’t want to forget.” Daniel’s words were coming out in choked sobs, tears falling from his face. “I can’t. I love him, father. Please. Please don’t make me forget him.”

“I’m sorry, son.”

“Please...” Eyes closing and voice trailing off, Daniel began to slump forward, leaning heavily against Junyoung. “Please, don’t...”

Then he was quiet, hands resting at his side as unconsciousness overtook him. His tear-stained face was buried in his father’s shoulder.

Junyoung then wrapped another arm around Daniel, pulling his son closer into the hug. “I’m sorry. This is for the best.”

A few heartbeats later and the door swung open.

Two men in white lab coats walked into the room, one of them carrying a large suitcase. Both of their faces were covered by surgical masks, one of them even wearing thick glasses to obscure his eyes.

“You boys must be from X-Corp,” Junyoung said without looking up. He began to pat Daniel’s hair, as if it would soothe his unconscious son. “You told me that the medicine’s effects would take only a few seconds to kick in. That  _wasn't_ a few seconds."

The bespectacled X-Corp employee shrugged, striding towards the table. He then picked up the empty glass, weighing it in his hands. “We gave him a large dose,” the man then said, voice muffled by the surgical mask. “But he must have been fighting hard.”

“He was begging to me,” Junyoung said softly. “It hurt to see that.”

The two X-Corp employees looked like they didn’t care. The other one had already set the suitcase on the ground, carefully opening it.

“How long did you say the procedure would take?” Junyoung then asked.

“Approximately a week,” the employee on the ground said, rummaging through the suitcase. He pulled out a helmet from it. “Since Kang Daniel has known the target for a long time, it’ll take a while to completely wipe out said target from his memory.”

“But that person _will_ be completely wiped out, right?” Junyoung said.

“Completely,” the X-Corp employee answered. “Now you said that you had a room for us— a room to do the procedure _without_ being disturbed. Where is it?”

“Ah, yes.” Junyoung then untangled himself from Daniel, slowly and carefully laying his son down on the couch. “Right this way, gentlemen...”

Jaehwan and Minhyun continued to watch in horror as Junyoung led the X-Corp employee to the far side of the room. There was a door there that they had not noticed before.

“Please take good care of Daniel,” Junyoung said.

“We’ll do our job well, sir,” the X-Corp employee with the spectacles said. He had returned to the couch and propped Daniel up against him. He then began to drag the unconscious man towards the room. “We’ll report to you in a week.”

Junyoung nodded, biting his lip in what looked to be concern.

After the two employees and Daniel had disappeared behind the door, Junyoung stared at the ground, his shoulders shaking.

He then walked towards the nearest bookshelf, giving it a hard shove. There was a slight squeaking of small wheels as the bookshelf slid in front of the closed door— hiding it from view.

Ahn Junyoung stood there for a while, just staring at the obscured room.

Then he slowly walked towards the couch, where he eventually took a seat and buried his face in his hands.

 

 

 

 

 

Jaehwan was in shock. Minhyun didn’t say anything. But they took one glance at each other, saw the terror in each other’s faces.

And in Jaehwan’s mind, a question echoed.

_Was Ong Seongwoo erased from Kang Daniel’s memories?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. when the rain fell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever you see **♪♪♪** , please click on it! (open in new tab/window). It's music accompaniment for that part of the story! :)  
>  Also, don't forget to turn off autoplay!  
> 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 29 years old _ **

 

The room was quiet for a while. They could hear nothing coming from behind the bookshelf. Wiping his eyes, Ahn Junyoung eventually stood up and left the room.

Jaehwan stood still for a bit, still trying to make sense of what had happened. His thoughts were all jumbled up.

Minhyun’s voice drew him back.

“Who did Kang Daniel have to forget...?”

Jaehwan looked up at his friend’s equally confused face. The younger doctor knew that it was just a theory— just something he pulled out of the recollections that first flashed in his head. But he had to get it out there. “One person popped immediately in my mind,” he said.

“And that is?” Minhyun’s full attention was on him.

“Ong Seongwoo.”

A slight silence filled the air before Minhyun began leaning against the wall, apparently thinking hard. “And how did you come to that conclusion?”

“It’s just a hunch, hyung,” Jaehwan quickly said. “I mean... It would explain why Seongwoo hated Daniel’s father so much. And Daniel said that he _loved_ this person.”

“Maybe Daniel had an ex,” Minhyun replied. “And something happened to him.”

“That’s also a possibility. But...” Jaehwan concentrated on sorting through information they had gathered so far— the little mentions of other people and the events happening around both Daniel and Seongwoo. “Do you remember what Seongwoo’s cousin said? About how Seongwoo had an ex-boyfriend?”

“Ah.” Minhyun looked thoughtful. “I see where you’re getting at.”

“Doyeon said that Seongwoo’s ex is a mysterious figure. She never knew about that person’s identity. By any chance, what if...”

“What if Daniel was Seongwoo’s ex,” Minhyun finished.

“Yes.”

The silence washed over them as they weighed the possibilities.

“ _If_ for instance, Seongwoo really is this person that Daniel had to forget.” Minhyun then paused. “Why? Why would Daniel be forced to forget about him?”

“Maybe they had a fight. Maybe broke up. And maybe it was hard on Daniel. Or maybe they wanted to be with each other, but circumstances forced them apart. That is, _if_ they were even dating in the first place.” But even as Jaehwan spoke, he knew something was off. The empty look in Daniel’s bloodshot eyes had reminded Jaehwan too much of himself when he was mourning over people that he could never see again.

“That is a possibility,” Minhyun said. “But Seongwoo’s ex might not have any connection at all with Daniel. Seongwoo might have been in love with another man, might have gotten his heart broken, and eventually met Daniel.”

“That could also happen.”

“And you saw Daniel’s condition. He looked like he wasn’t eating. Wasn’t getting enough sleep. It was as if...”

“It was as if somebody died,” Jaehwan finished, his voice quiet.

Another silence. “Yes.”

“The person that Daniel had to forget... he could be someone we don’t know at all,” Minhyun continued, his voice becoming softer. “Someone completely unrelated to all that we’ve seen so far. Do you remember any dating rumors that Daniel was involved in?”

“Um...” Jaehwan thought of the articles and forum posts that he had read the previous night. “I don’t think so. Daniel must’ve been a secretive man. If he was in a relationship, he was able to hide it well.”

“I see.” Minhyun was leaning heavily against the wall. “Let’s say that Daniel had an ex. Something happened to that ex. Something horrible. And then Daniel was forced to forget about that person... Seongwoo still had a reason to hate Daniel’s father. I wouldn’t like it if someone important to me was forced through a memory alteration either.”

“Having to forget that somebody existed in your life must be terrifying,” Jaehwan said quietly. “Hyung... Do you think maybe Seongwoo knew this person?”

“You mean, did Seongwoo know Daniel’s ex?”

“Yeah. I mean, maybe it’s a lot more personal than we thought. Maybe Seongwoo personally knew Daniel’s ex. Maybe he was even friends with that ex. And it made him furious to have that person wiped from Daniel’s memories.”

“We’re just making guesses now,” Minhyun said. “Any of these speculations could be true.”

“You’re right, hyung.”

“We need to get going.”

And with that, the two doctors began searching the room— Minhyun went to the direction of the couch where Daniel had collapsed, and Jaehwan found himself drawn to the bookshelf that hid the door.

Thick spines of books greeted him. Junyoung had chosen the right books so that whatever was behind the shelf was completely concealed.

Jaehwan felt angry, of course. A part of him wanted to lunge out and scream at Daniel’s father— demanding _why_. _Why would you do this to your own son?_ _How could you?_

But the other part told him to calm down and focus on the case. It was the only way to help Daniel.

_Daniel._

Jaehwan stared hard at the bookshelf, feeling his heart twist and turn as he imagined what must be going on in that hidden room. Maybe Daniel was propped up against a cold chair, a helmet thrown over his head, with the two X-Corp employees preparing to jump into his memories and doing whatever they pleased—

“Jaehwan.”

He flinched, whirling around to see Minhyun holding a familiar watch in his hand.

“They must’ve taken off Daniel’s watch. It was on the couch.”

Jaehwan nodded, a little absentmindedly. “Yeah...” He then glanced over his shoulder. “They’re doing god knows what to Daniel in there.”

The walls must have been sound proof, because nothing could be heard coming from inside. Or maybe the X-Corp employees were exceptionally quiet.

“It’s horrible,” Minhyun said.

“I just...” Jaehwan felt his hand reaching out, touching one of the books’ dusty spine. “I just want to tear down the wall and pull Daniel away from them.”

There was a fire in Minhyun’s eyes, showing that he himself was equally upset by what had happened to their client. But he put a hand on Jaehwan’s shoulder, a little urgently. “You know that won’t make a difference. What happened... already happened.”

“I know, hyung.”

“What we can do now is help Daniel in whatever way we can. His wish... We still need to fulfill his wish.”

“Yeah...” Jaehwan willed himself to concentrate, to step away from the bookshelf. “Yeah.”

He then put his hand on the flickering watch.

“For Daniel,” Minhyun said gently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 [♪♪♪](https://youtu.be/3Il88FeJxKY)

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 28 years old _ **

 

Cold. It was cold.

After the initial disorientation and blurriness, Jaehwan could see (and hear) what the cause was.

He was sitting on a bench with a small canopy above him, in the middle of a familiar park. There were other familiar benches and a familiar playground in front of him.

And it was raining. Hard.

Although the canopy managed to protect him from getting soaked to the skin, the air was still very chilly.

Minhyun, just like before, was by his side. “Here we are again,” the older doctor said.

“Here we are again,” Jaehwan agreed.

It was the same park that Daniel often frequented. The same one that he had visited before with Seongwoo.

 _Could be a coincidence_ , Jaehwan thought to himself.

“Winter ended already,” Minhyun said, looking at his wristwatch and then at their surroundings. There was no snow in sight. “So I guess this memory happened a couple months after that weird memory of...” His voice trailed off. “...of peaches and blood.”

“Weird combination.” Jaehwan squinted through the rain, not seeing their client anywhere. The park was completely empty— and for a good reason. No one would want go out in the pouring rain. “We didn’t see this memory before.” He gestured at the playground and at all that was around them.

“X-Corp must have tweaked with it,” Minhyun muttered. “Made it so that the memento skipped over it. So that we wouldn’t be here.”

Jaehwan hummed in response. He thought of the men in surgical masks, wearing a lab coat similar to his own. He remembered one of them bringing Daniel’s unconscious body to the hidden room. Remembered Daniel’s feet dragging across the floor. “It’s sad to think that those people... People who first joined Sigmund Corp with the intent of helping others... ended up hurting so many.” Jaehwan let out a dry laugh. “That is, if they had any good intentions to begin with.”

He then paused, watching the rain. Then he continued. “Those people at X-Corp... I know that  _good_ and _bad_ aren't labels that we can stick on anyone just like that. There are gray areas in between. This isn’t some movie where people are automatically evil from birth. But... But right now I can’t even feel one single drop of sympathy towards them. What they did was horrible. And the fact that they’ve been doing that for years makes it even worse.” He glanced up at the clouds— gray and bleak. “But what does that make of Kang Daniel’s father?”

Minhyun was quiet.

“Ahn Junyoung was apologizing... looking as if it hurt to put Daniel through that.” Jaehwan wrapped his lab coat around his body. “Was it all really for Daniel’s sake? Or...” He then let out a sigh. “Sorry, hyung. I’m getting emotional. I know I shouldn’t be thinking so negatively about people.”

“It’s alright,” Minhyun said. “It’s only natural to feel this way.” The rain filled the silence. “But that _is_ something to think about. If Daniel’s father really had good intentions... But...”

Jaehwan glanced at his friend. “But what?”

“I do remember reading about Junyoung’s agency during Daniel’s hiatus.”

“And...?”

“At first things were fine. But after Daniel’s hiatus hit the first year mark... the agency’s income wasn't doing as well as it did before.”

“Oh.” Now that Minhyun mentioned it, Jaehwan recalled reading a few of the headlines during those times.

“Daniel _was_ extremely famous,” Minhyun explained. “The agency had other artists, but... Daniel was the most successful. And without the most successful artist... Well..."

Jaehwan began, “So you’re implying—”

“I’m not implying anything,” Minhyun quickly cut in. “It’s just something to think about.”

“—that Junyoung decided to erase Daniel’s memory for the sake of _money?”_

Silence. The rain accompanied them through it.

“That’s a horrible thought,” Jaehwan said weakly.

Minhyun patted his shoulder. “Theories are just theories. We’re doctors, not mind readers.” His voice then softened. “Perhaps Daniel’s father simply loved and cared for his son, and all he wanted was for Daniel to be happy again. We don’t know what was going on in his mind, Jaehwan.”

The younger doctor nodded slowly. “You’re right, hyung...” He then glanced left and right, at the empty paths and the empty benches. “Daniel isn’t here yet.”

“Should we look for him?”

“We’ll wait another couple minutes. I have a feeling he’ll be here.”

While they sat underneath the canopy, Jaehwan let his thoughts wander again. Thunder rumbled faintly in the distance. He couldn’t help but notice how sad and lonely the playground looked— empty in the pouring rain.

“It’s cold,” Jaehwan then mumbled under his breath.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Minhyun’s lips. “Bet you’re really craving some hot chocolate now.”

“Why the hell do you know me so much, Hwang Minhyun?” But Jaehwan began to smile too.

“And I’m sure you’d like to curl up on the couch, all wrapped up in your blankets while sipping that cup of hot chocolate. With the television on as background sound.”

Jaehwan laughed. It was a small, quiet giggle. “Are you sure you’re not a mind reader?”

“No,” Minhyun said. “I just know you a bit too well.”

Jaehwan continued to smile. He could always trust Minhyun to calm his nerves— even at the most emotional and anxious moments. Still clutching onto his lab coat, he glanced up to see his friend’s face.

Minhyun’s gaze had softened. “You know... That actually sounds like a good idea.”

“It’s a good idea to be a mind reader?”

“What— No.” Minhyun chuckled. “I mean, a day with hot chocolate. Comfy blankets. Comfy couch. Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“It does,” Jaehwan agreed.

“When we get back then,” Minhyun said. “I think we’d be exhausted by the time we get home. The company should give us at least some time to rest. Even if it’s just for one day, I think it’d be nice.”

Jaehwan smiled, thinking of the warmth of their apartment. “Movie marathons, too.”

That earned him another chuckle. “That too,” Minhyun replied.

“Jihoon and Woojin would probably crash and join us. Woojin would try to imitate weird sound effects from the movie. Jihoon would make tons of popcorn.” Jaehwan smiled to himself, remembering his two young friends. “Just like they always do.”

Minhyun grinned. “I’m sure Hyunbin would show up as well. He’d probably order some takeaway for us all to eat.”

At the mention of Hyunbin’s name, Jaehwan felt himself going tense, the smile fading from his face. “Yeah... He would.”

Minhyun’s brow furrowed. “What is it?”

Jaehwan tried not to think of Hyunbin’s worried voice. Tried not to replay the phone call in his head.

“It’s nothing, hyung,” he finally answered. At Minhyun’s unconvinced expression, Jaehwan continued. “I just... miss them. I know I pretty much just saw them a couple days ago, but yeah. I miss them.”

After a brief pause, Minhyun reached over and ruffled Jaehwan’s hair. “You’ll see them after this. I’m sure they miss you too.”

Though he continued to try to shake away troubled thoughts, Jaehwan found himself smiling.  

And they waited for another three minutes until a figure began to appear.

It was hard to see through the rain, but as the figure walked closer and closer, the two doctors could see who it was.

Kang Daniel walked slowly and unsteadily, as if in a trance. His gaze was fixed on the empty playground and the empty benches, his clothes completely soaked underneath the pouring rain. He wore a black hoodie and cotton pants— as if he had just stepped out of his home without changing. Hands hanging limply at his sides, there was no umbrella in sight.

The closer Daniel got to them, the more details that Jaehwan could see. Feeling his heart growing heavier, Jaehwan noticed that Daniel looked even skinnier than before. Some strands of black hair fell over Daniel’s eyes, but the doctors could see the same empty look in their client’s gaze.

A few shaky steps later and Daniel stood in front of the playground and benches. He stared at the view, unmoving, not saying anything.

Minutes passed and he continued to stand there. Meanwhile, the rain continued to soak him to the skin, but he paid no heed to it.

It hurt to watch. Jaehwan wanted to rush forwards with an umbrella and protect Daniel from the rain and whatever it was that caused him to be like this. _What happened to you?_ the doctor thought. _What happened to you, Daniel?_

Minhyun drew in a slightly shaky breath and said, “The memory of Daniel at 31 years old... Daniel sat down and stared at the sky. He watched the rain and it looked like he was thinking. I wondered what might have been going on in his mind back then. I might have imagined it, but he looked sad there.” Minhyun’s eyes were also on Daniel as he continued. “This sudden urge overcame me at that moment and I found myself stepping out into the rain. I wondered why he was staring so intently at the rain like that. I wanted to understand him. I wanted to know Daniel's troubles— wanted to know how he felt throughout the years.”

Jaehwan listened carefully to his friend’s words. Another faint thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Remember when we stood out in the rain like that?” Minhyun then asked.

Jaehwan nodded, his eyes on Daniel’s lonely figure in front of them. “Yes.”

“How did it feel?”

Thinking about it for a bit, Jaehwan answered, “Cold. The raindrops felt sharp when they hit my skin. And the rain was falling so hard. I could barely see. I think I winced once in a while, especially when water got in my eyes. I was shivering.”

“And yet,” Minhyun said. “Daniel isn’t even flinching. Not one bit.”

And it was true— Daniel stood still like a statue. The only visible movement was the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed in and out. He wasn’t trembling at all, as if he wasn’t standing in the middle of a cold rainstorm.

“Whatever it was that Daniel went through,” Minhyun continued. “It was enough to cause him to feel this disconnected with his surroundings.”

“Oh, Daniel,” Jaehwan said, voice barely a whisper. “Who did you lose?”

Many minutes passed and Daniel hadn’t moved an inch from his spot. He continued to stare at the playground and benches, his eyes glazed over.

The two doctors decided it was time to move to the next memory. And if their guess was correct, the next memento would take them to the memory of Kang Daniel a couple weeks or perhaps months ago— of the memory of Kang Daniel and the odd scent of blood.

They walked towards their client, already seeing the flickering of his watch. Jaehwan said, “I have a feeling that even if we take it from him right now, he won’t notice.”

“We can’t take any chances, though,” Minhyun said. _“Pause memory.”_

White light flashed from where they stood, spreading across their surroundings and continued to stretch on and on.

It was quite a sight. The rain stopped, millions of water droplets glistening a bright white until they all halted in their fall. Everything was silent— no more thunder, no more sound of raindrops hitting the ground. It was as if somebody had muted the whole world.

Jaehwan reached out, his hand and arm hitting some frozen raindrops. The raindrops parted, as if he was a magnet that repelled another with the same pole. He then carefully removed Kang Daniel’s watch and gave it to Minhyun.

While Minhyun prepared the memento, Jaehwan found himself looking at Daniel’s face. From up close, Daniel looked even more broken. His eyes were red, though if it was due to the rain or from crying— or _both—_ Jaehwan couldn’t be sure. But the pain and hurt was evident in Daniel’s gaze.

“Jaehwan, it’s ready.”

“Ri-Right...”

Minhyun held out the watch. Jaehwan could feel his heart begin to pound as he wrapped his hand around the memento, realizing that he wasn’t ready for this.

But he wouldn’t let himself hesitate. He glanced up at Minhyun, saw the determination in the older doctor’s face, and knew that they had to do this _now._

“Let’s go,” Minhyun said.

“Right.” Jaehwan nodded. He took a deep breath. _“Activate memento.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big reveal in the next chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> \--
> 
>  
> 
> I'll be at the Wanna One concert in Jakarta this Sunday, so if any of you are going and wanna meet up, please do send me a message on twitter @myday_blackrose !! :)


	16. shattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to update. This chapter was heavy and broke my heart to write so it took some time ㅠ_ㅠ

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 28 years old _ **

  

2:13 PM. It was a cold afternoon as snow decorated the empty streets below.

The second that he entered the memory, Jaehwan focused his gaze on the large street clock and its hands. It was the same exact time as the altered X-Corp memory.

He then glanced around, noting how everything was also exactly the same as before. He saw the same small buildings and storefronts, with the snow piled ontop of roofs. There were no people in sight, with every corner of the street seemingly deserted. It truly was the outskirts of the city— far away from the hustle and bustle of crowds.

Minhyun was also assessing the environment, his fox-like eyes scanning the sights around them. The older doctor then took a deep breath.

“There’s no smell of blood yet,” Minhyun said. “Or the smell of peaches.”

“Yet,” Jaehwan emphasized.

Their faces were grim. The clock continued to tick until eventually landing on 2:18.

Jaehwan and Minhyun glanced at each other. It was time.

But instead of a taxi that would bring Kang Daniel to the location, they saw something different and unexpected.

More precisely, they first _heard_ something different. It was the sound of small footsteps on snow, coming from around a street corner.

Both doctors immediately turned to the direction of the noise. The footsteps grew louder and Jaehwan prepared himself to see Kang Daniel in whatever condition he may be in.

But it wasn’t Kang Daniel who appeared from the street corner.

It was a young boy.

 

Wearing a school uniform and scarf that covered his neck and chubby cheeks, the boy looked no more than 10 years old. Slung over his small shoulders was a blue backpack, thick shoes covering his feet.

“Who...?” Jaehwan muttered. Minhyun was silent, no sign of recognition on his face either.

The boy continued to walk in the direction of the large street clock. Seconds later and Jaehwan could see the boy from up close.

Soft bright eyes and cheeks tinged with pink from the cold. Snowflakes stuck in jet black hair. The boy walked with a sort of hop in his steps, indicating that he was excited. When he passed the two doctors, they saw how the boy’s height didn’t even reach their chests.

“He looks around 8 years old,” Jaehwan said after some recalculations.

Minhyun hummed in response. “Why is he here and not Daniel?”

“Maybe—”

Just on cue, they heard another noise. The sound of snow being crunched under tires, growing closer and closer.

Then a taxi appeared from the end of the road, driving towards them.

“That should be Daniel,” Minhyun said. “That’s the exact same taxi that we saw before.”

It wasn’t just the Sigmund Corp doctors that were interested in the taxi. Next to a zebra cross, the little boy also halted in his steps, watching the lone vehicle.

The taxi drew closer to their direction till it suddenly slowed down, veering carefully to the side of the road. It then completely stopped, and the two doctors only had to wait a split second before the passenger door swung open.

Kang Daniel appeared from the door, holding onto a small basket of fruits. Just like the artificial memory that X-Corp had implanted, he looked healthy and well. With a sheepish grin, he ducked down to the driver’s window, addressing the man behind the wheel.

“Sorry for the sudden stop. But I’ll get off here.”

After the driver received his pay, the taxi left quickly, leaving the roads empty once more.

Daniel’s gaze fixed directly onto the little boy across the road. He smiled.

Jaehwan saw it immediately— the fondness and warmth in Daniel’s expression. It was that easy to see.

Around them was silence, but Daniel spoke in a gentle yet loud voice so that the boy could hear him.

“Woojin, when I said I was gonna pick you up, I meant I was gonna pick you up at your friend’s place. What are you doing all the way out here?”

No cars on the road, no other people on the streets. Daniel’s voice carried clearly over the short distance.

Jaehwan could feel himself holding his breath. Next to him, it seemed as if Minhyun did the same.

The little boy— _Woojin_ — was grinning brightly. He tugged at the scarf so that it didn’t cover his mouth. He then answered Daniel’s question.

“I wanted to see you as soon as possible, so I came here. I thought we’d meet somewhere in the middle.”

“What if I didn’t see you and I accidentally passed by you?” Daniel said with a chuckle.

“I just know we’d find each other,” Woojin easily replied, small hands gripping onto the straps of his backpack.

Another fond chuckle. Daniel continued to smile as he said, “Well, just wait right there. I’m coming.”

But Woojin quickly looked left and right, checking the roads. Empty. He then slowly stepped out onto the zebra cross, towards Daniel.

Alarmed, Daniel quickly began crossing the street. “No, wait— Get back, Woojin.”

Jaehwan knew what was coming before it happened.

Things should have been okay. Woojin was a careful and diligent boy, making sure that the roads were clear before crossing. And even as he stepped out onto the zebra cross, he made sure to stay alert.

But when a car suddenly appeared from the corner, barreling at an insane speed towards a defenseless boy, precautions weren’t of much help.

It was a van. Big and bulky, it careened down the road, swerving unsteadily on its wheels.

Woojin froze, eyes wide as the headlights drew near. Daniel was screaming Woojin’s name, rushing forwards with his arms open. The basket of fruits fell to the ground, scattering its contents everywhere.

And Jaehwan looked away, knowing that he shouldn’t be looking away, because Sigmund Corp doctors— _for the sake of the job_ — were supposed to see everything that happened in a client’s memories.

But he fixed his sight on the ground, tightly shutting his eyes.

Jaehwan heard the collision. The loud thud of a body against the car, a _crack_ noise resonating through the air, and the screeching of wheels as they stopped far too late. The screeching continued when the wheels reversed, and grew louder as the van quickly drove away as quickly as possible.

_“WOOJIN!”_

Daniel’s loud footsteps drew to a halt and Jaehwan opened his eyes. What he saw made his heart drop, made the terror rise at the back of his throat.

Woojin was on the ground, blood dripping from his head. He could barely move as he drew in shaky breaths.

The panic clear on his face, Daniel reached the little boy, falling to his knees and carefully propping up Woojin in his arms. “Woojin. Woojin, don’t move.”

“It— It hurts.”

“You’ll be okay.” Daniel’s voice was shaking, choked up. He glanced around, yelling at the top of his lungs. _“Help! Anybody!”_

“It h-hurts.”

“You’ll be okay,” Daniel said again. The streets answered him with nothing but silence. “I promise.” With one arm, he cradled Woojin’s broken body, his other hand fumbling for the phone in his pocket. Daniel’s fingers shook violently as he dialed a number. “We’ll go to the hospital. You’ll be okay.”

Woojin’s voice was barely a whisper, breath coming out in shallow gasps. He reached out, shaky fingers grasping weakly onto the sleeve of Daniel’s jacket. His glazed eyes were fixed on Daniel’s face, and Daniel’s was fixed on his.

The little boy was struggling just to speak. “Da...”

“Woojin, _please_. You’ll be okay. I promise.”

“Da... D— Da...”

A few heartbeats passed. Woojin’s gaze lost focus, his hand that had gripped weakly onto Daniel slackened, and he drew in a breath. He let it out.

Then he lay still, motionless in Daniel’s arms.

 

 

 

The brief silence that followed was eventually filled with Daniel’s anguished screams and cries.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Minhyun gently pulled him by the arm, Jaehwan could feel the trembling in his friend’s hand. They stepped onto the road, feeling each heavy footstep. What was clear in Jaehwan’s thoughts was how much pain the little boy must have been in.

 _So much pain that he couldn’t even say Daniel’s name_ , Jaehwan thought. _He couldn’t even say his name once._

The memento was the basket that Daniel had dropped when he began to run. Its contents— a dozen peaches— were scattered all over the snowy ground.

Words were tumbling out of Daniel’s lips as he clung onto the little boy’s lifeless body. _Woojin. No. Please._

The two doctors reached the memento. They knew they had to keep going. They also knew that if they were to draw in a deep breath, they could smell the blood and peaches.

Minhyun placed his hand on the basket. Jaehwan did the same, seeing the object flicker underneath his unsteady fingers.

They had to keep going.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 27 years old _ **

 

The stars greeted them again, shining brightly in the night sky.

Jaehwan and Minhyun sat down on the sand, a few meters away from the water. For a while, they stared at the sea, lost in their own thoughts.

It was no surprise that, yet again, they returned to that certain place. Over 30 years later, Kang Daniel would build his house there. And he would continue living there until his last days.

As he stared at the full moon above, Jaehwan tried to gather his thoughts. Everything felt messed up.

He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them. When he spoke, his voice was small.

“His name was Woojin.”

Minhyun turned to look at him.

“He was so young,” Jaehwan continued. “So young.”

Woojin. A small, bright boy who died in a car accident.

A harsh wind blew by, making Jaehwan feel empty and cold. He then finally spoke.

“Woojin was the person Daniel had to forget.”

Minhyun nodded, eyes unwavering as he answered. “He was.”

“It wasn’t Ong Seongwoo. It wasn’t an ex-boyfriend.”

The timelines matched up. Jaehwan could imagine Daniel mourning and entering his hiatus, filled with regret and an aching that never went away. Nearly two years after the incident, Daniel’s father would take away the pain— and along with it the memories of a little boy named Woojin.

“So it wasn’t a romantic love that Daniel was talking about,” Minhyun said.

Jaehwan remembered Daniel’s pleading words as he clung to his father.

_I love him, father. Please. Please don’t make me forget him._

“It was a brotherly love,” Jaehwan said quietly. “Like a big brother to his little sibling. Maybe they were close friends. Or maybe...”

Flashbacks were unintentionally playing in his head. He remembered having little Yeonjung in his arms, remembered her bright laugh as she hugged him. Remembered how at that moment, he thought, _‘is this what it feels like to be a parent?’_

“Maybe even a fatherly love,” Jaehwan finished. “Daniel didn’t have any kids. But Woojin might have been like one to Daniel.”

With a nod, Minhyun glanced over his shoulder, staring for a bit at the hills and the road. There were no cars in sight. No sign of Daniel yet. He then turned back to the sea, his eyes on the moon’s reflection on rippling waters. “When you did your research on Daniel, was the name _Woojin_ there somewhere?”

Jaehwan thought it over, but nothing came up. “No.” He then corrected himself. “Well, yes. There were some Woojins that I read about. But they were around the same age as Daniel or a lot older. Not a young boy. Not _this_ Woojin.”

“Woojin is a really common name, after all. I mean, we’ve got our own Woojin waiting for us at Sigmund Corp.”

“Right,” Jaehwan agreed. He was about to do more wondering when Minhyun let out a small gasp. He turned to look at his older friend. “What is it?”

Minhyun’s eyes were wide, hand gripping onto Jaehwan’s arm. “Do you remember that memory of Daniel and Seongwoo at the park?”

_Oh._

Jaehwan felt his heart begin to race. The two doctors had been dazed from the previous memory, minds still trying to grasp the situation— But now they had just realized.

“The memory of Daniel at 35 years old,” Minhyun said. “Daniel and Seongwoo talked about having kids. If they ever had a girl, they’d name her Doyeon. But if they were to adopt a boy, they’d name him—”

“Woojin,” Jaehwan finished. “Seongwoo had suggested the name Woojin.”

For the next few seconds they listened to the sound of water lapping against the shore, thinking.

“After Seongwoo mentioned Woojin’s name,” Minhyun then said. “Remember how Daniel immediately rubbed his forehead? As if he was in pain?”

“He thought it was a headache.” Jaehwan’s heart began to thump harder against his chest. He knew where this was going.

“A victim of X-Corp can’t get their erased memories back. If someone attempted to make the victim remember, then the victim would experience pain. If the attempt kept going, the victim could even die.”

“A reaction in the victim’s brain,” Jaehwan said weakly. “Planted there by X-Corp.”

“It may not have been a direct attempt. But it was enough to trigger the reaction.”

“Even so.” Jaehwan tried to wrap his mind around it all. “Maybe it’s just a coincidence. You said it yourself, hyung. Woojin is a _really_ common name. Maybe Seongwoo simply liked the name ‘Woojin’. Maybe he didn’t know _this_ certain Woojin and Daniel’s brain just reacted to the name. Or maybe it was really a headache.”

“That may be true,” Minhyun said. “But it also could have been an attempt by Seongwoo to have Daniel remember this Woojin.”

Jaehwan nodded. There were a lot of possibilities.

“Also,” Minhyun then continued. “After Seongwoo realized that Daniel’s head was hurting, he quickly changed the subject. If he was aware of the effects of X-Corp’s memory alteration... and the risks of trying to make a victim remember... he quickly stopped so that Daniel didn’t get hurt any further.”

Minhyun had a point. Jaehwan could remember the concerned look on Seongwoo’s face when Daniel began clutching his head. He remembered how Seongwoo stopped talking about baby names, immediately launching into a conversation about their busy schedules.

_It was as if Seongwoo was aware of Daniel’s condition._

“If that’s the case,” Jaehwan said. “If Seongwoo really _did_ know about Daniel being a victim of X-Corp... How? How did he know?” He then glanced at Minhyun, who stared back with a face full of thought. “And what connection did Seongwoo have with Woojin? How did Seongwoo know about Woojin in the first place?” He sighed, bringing his knees closer. “Well, if we’re going by this theory, it means that Daniel met Seongwoo years after he lost Woojin. Perhaps Seongwoo found out about Daniel’s condition afterwards— found out that Daniel’s father was the one behind it. And that could be the thing that Seongwoo could never forgive Daniel’s father for.”

“That makes sense,” Minhyun remarked.

It was Jaehwan’s turn to let out a gasp when he realized something. He grabbed Minhyun’s shoulder.

“Hyung! That wasn’t the only time Daniel had a ‘headache’. When Daniel was shooting that movie... when he was 31 years old—”

Minhyun’s eyes widened again, the realization dawning on him quickly.

Jaehwan tried to ignore the slight shaking in his own voice. “Daniel was shooting the scene of him saving that little boy—”

“From a car crash,” Minhyun said.

“Yes. After filming that scene... after the child actor thanked him, Daniel’s head began to hurt. The director stopped the filming and told Daniel to rest.”

“And afterwards Daniel cried.”

“And Daniel didn’t know why,” Jaehwan said. “He didn’t know why he cried like that.” The younger doctor could feel his heart aching again. “Daniel wrote the screenplay for that film. All by himself.” His voice grew weaker. “Daniel may not have remembered Woojin... But a part of him did. It’s as if his subconscious was trying to say how much he wanted to save Woojin.”

“The subconscious has many ways of telling us what we want,” Minhyun said softly. “Daniel wanted to save Woojin that much.”

“And acting out that scene caused the same reaction in his brain. Because it was, in a way, an attempt of remembering the lost memories. The child actor looked around the same age as Woojin. Looked a little like him too. It was enough to trigger the reaction.”

Again, they listened to the waves against the sand. Jaehwan let his hand drop.

“But none of this explains why Daniel wants to go to the moon. Or does it...?”

Minhyun was about to answer when another noise filled the silence. It was the sound of a car’s engine humming.

The two doctors turned to the direction of the hills. Slowly, two beams of light appeared, shining from a car’s headlights.

The car then slowed down, parking at the edge of the road.

“Well,” Minhyun said. “We’re about to find out.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. "always"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the plotline of _To the Moon_ sometime back in 2017. Ever since then, I really really looked forward to writing this chapter. I’m so excited to finally show it to you guys! :)
> 
> Here you go, another big reveal.
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> Whenever you see **♪♪♪** , please click on it! (open in new tab/window). It's music accompaniment for that part of the story! :)  
>  Also, don't forget to turn off autoplay!  
> 

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 27 years old _ **

 

It felt like time moved slowly as both doctors took in every little detail as possible.

The car had stopped at the edge of the road. The faint sound of the engine humming could be heard.

Even from the distance, Jaehwan could see that it wasn’t the same car that Kang Daniel and Ong Seongwoo had used in the previous memories. Yet it was more or less the same size, enough for five people.

Then the highlights were off, plunging the surroundings into darkness yet again. The engine was also turned off, silence returning just as quickly.

Trying to calm down, Jaehwan found himself gripping tightly onto Minhyun’s shoulder. The older doctor didn’t show any signs of discomfort or protest, his eyes focused on the car over the hill.

The passenger’s seat opened and a familiar figure wearing a thick jacket appeared. It was Kang Daniel.

For a few seconds, Daniel stared at the view in front of him, drinking in the sight of the full moon, the stars scattered over the vast sky, and the sea.

He then opened the door of the car’s backseat, the biggest smile on his face.

Small legs emerged from behind the door, and soon Jaehwan could see the figure of a young boy climbing out of the car.

“There’s Woojin,” Minhyun said.

Jaehwan tried not to think of how, just a short while ago, he had seen a fragile Woojin dying in Daniel's arms. It was such a surreal feeling. Here was Woojin now, running around, unharmed, and so full of _life._

Daniel was ruffling Woojin’s hair as the young boy stood by his side. They both stared at the horizon. Clearly excited, Woojin began jumping up and down, pointing at the sea.

“I think we’ll be seeing Woojin in the next memories as well,” Jaehwan said. He was beginning to wonder more about the connection between Daniel and Woojin when the driver’s door clicked open.

He thought he was ready for more surprises. He had seen a lot, felt a lot of things. Whatever was going to happen next, he thought it’d be easier to accept and perhaps even understand.

But he felt his jaw drop. And from the corner of his eye, he even saw the puzzled look on Minhyun’s face.

Because the figure that appeared from the driver’s seat was a tall man with model-like proportions. He had a charming smile as he let out a yell of relief, hands spread out as if embracing the view in front of him (or perhaps stretching his sore body from what must have been long hours of driving).

With a laugh of joy, Woojin ran and threw his arms around the man, hugging him tightly.

The man was Ong Seongwoo.

 

 

 

 

 _“What?”_ Minhyun breathed.

Jaehwan wanted to splutter out many questions and noises of disbelief. But he followed suit of Minhyun, instead screeching, _“WHAT?!”_

Both doctors directed their remarks to no one in particular, but they then turned to each other as if looking for answers, seeing the confusion on each other’s faces.

“Bu-But—” Jaehwan started. “The person that Daniel had to forget was Woojin— And the first time he met Seongwoo was at the café _after_ the hiatus.”

“Is that really Ong Seongwoo?” Minhyun then said, voice a slight whisper. His eyes were on the trio again, and eventually Jaehwan did the same. “Is that _really_ him?”

Woojin was holding tightly onto Daniel’s hand, excitedly running and pulling him along. Daniel laughed lightly, telling the young boy to be careful of the rocks and holes in the ground.

The other man followed them, holding onto what looked like a bundle of blankets. As the trio got closer to the sea, Jaehwan could easily see his face.

There was no mistaking it.

“That’s Ong Seongwoo,” the younger doctor confirmed. “Definitely Ong Seongwoo.”

“Well,” Minhyun muttered. “This is confusing.”

Woojin’s feet were the first that touched the sand, quickly followed by Daniel’s. By the time Seongwoo caught up with them, the little boy was already running towards the water.

“I wanna play in the sea!”

Daniel chuckled. “Shoes off first, Woojin.”

As Woojin began slipping off his shoes, Seongwoo set the bundle on the ground and began unfolding it.

It was a large blue blanket that he began to spread across the sand, revealing three towels and a basket of fruits that was hidden inside. Woojin glanced at the basket and squealed with delight.

“Peaches!” the little boy said.

With a chuckle, Seongwoo nodded. “Yup. Your favorite. Let's play before eating though.”

Woojin grabbed his hand and tugged, urging Seongwoo to stand up. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

“Alright, alright!” Seongwoo laughed. He kicked off his footwear and began folding his jeans to his knees. Daniel did the same as Woojin, who wore shorts, continued jumping up and down with excitement. Seongwoo then stood up, letting himself be pulled along.

Holding tightly onto both of the men’s hands, Woojin ran until their feet touched the water. The trio continued to run until the waves brushed against their legs. Then Woojin stopped, tilting his head back to stare at the moon and stars.

“Wow, it looks even cooler up close,” he whispered.

“You chose a really good spot,” Daniel said with a grin. “Though you did surprise Seongwoo when you suddenly told him to stop.”

Seongwoo cleared his throat and launched into an imitation of what must have been Woojin, flailing his free hand for effect. _“’Seongwoo-hyung! Hyung! Stop the car! I just saw something really pretty! Let’s go there!’”_

Pouting, Woojin nudged Seongwoo’s side. He then gestured towards the horizon, at the sky, at the moon. “But look at it! It’s really pretty, right?”

Seongwoo nudged Woojin back with a playful smile. “That’s what random drives are for. To find random places like this. It’s beautiful, Woojin.”

Beaming with pride, Woojin turned back to the sky. As if entranced, the trio stared at the view for a few moments, the water lapping at their legs.

Then Woojin suddenly let go of both Daniel and Seongwoo. Cupping water in the palm of his hands, he flung them at the two men who immediately let out startled shouts.

“Surprise attack!” he said.

As Daniel burst out laughing, Seongwoo was already bending down and preparing for a counterattack. Woojin took the chance and ran, his laughter easily heard over the waves hitting the shore. Seongwoo chased after him, water in his hands and a smile on his face.

After a few splashes of water and a lot of misses, Woojin ran back to Daniel and threw himself into the man’s strong arms.

“Protect me, protect me!”

“I gotcha, Woojin.”

“Hey, that’s cheating!” Seongwoo said. “Using Daniel as a shield is against the rules.”

Woojin stuck out his tongue. “We made no rules!”

“He has a point,” Daniel said, holding Woojin closer to him. “No rules.”

Instead of looking defeated, Seongwoo looked elated. “Then I’ll just have to splash the both of you.”

“Uh-oh,” Woojin said. He shut his eyes, bracing for the attack.

Just then, there was the sound of a stomach growling— very, _very_ loudly.

Daniel chuckled, tickling Woojin’s tummy. “Looks like someone’s hungry,” he said teasingly as the little boy, resisting the tickles, began thrashing in his arms.

Seongwoo released the water he had been holding. “Let’s eat, then.”

After escaping Daniel’s grasp, Woojin led the way again. He plopped down onto the blanket, followed by the two men who took the towels and began drying their legs.

“Your feet are wet,” Daniel said to Woojin, wrapping the towel around the boy’s feet. After a few rubs, Daniel folded the towel and set it to the side.

Grabbing a peach and handing it to Woojin, Daniel proceeded to sit next to him. Seongwoo sat on Woojin’s other side, playfully leaning on the young boy.

“You’re heavy,” Woojin protested, his mouth full. “Heavy.”

“Am not,” Seongwoo said.

“Are too.”

“Am not—”

Woojin shoved the peach against Seongwoo’s lips. The man immediately fell on his back, dramatically saying, _“Nooooo—”_

Woojin giggled. “Silly hyung.”

Smiling, Seongwoo folded his arms behind his head as a pillow. “It’s nice here.”

“It's so peaceful and relaxing,” Daniel said, glancing at the other man with an affectionate look. “I didn’t think we’d find a place like this.”

“Woojin finds the best places,” Seongwoo replied, closing his eyes and letting the wind brush against his face.

Woojin held out his hand to the sky, making clutching motions at the air. “I feel like I can grab the moon.”

Daniel’s following laugh quickly disappeared when the sleeve of Woojin’s shirt slid down to the little boy’s elbow. He then stared at the skin for a bit before frowning. “What happened to your arm, Woojin?”

Woojin gasped, quickly shoving the sleeve back to his wrist. He set the peach on the ground. “Nothing.”

“Woojin...” Daniel gently held Woojin’s hand, folding the sleeve back again. “What happened?”

There was a small discoloration of the skin there, near the elbow— a rather noticeable bruise.

“I— I fell down,” Woojin stuttered.

Seongwoo had sat up again, eyes on Woojin’s arm as well. His brow furrowed, he said, “Oh no. That looks like it hurts.”

“It doesn’t hurt anymore!” the little boy quickly replied.

“Woojin. What happened? Please don’t lie to me.”

Daniel’s voice was firm. Woojin finally sighed.

Looking at the ground and not making any eye contact, Woojin began. “I was at school... I was gonna go home but I saw a kid being bullied. Those bullies... There was a group of them. They were going to hurt him.” His voice slightly trembled. “I couldn’t let them hurt him. So I told them to stop. But they didn’t listen.”

Both Daniel and Seongwoo listened carefully, their gaze softening with each word.

“They were going to hurt the kid. So I ran in front of him. I raised my arm, hoping I could protect him at least a little bit and...”

He didn’t need to finish. There was a short silence before Daniel said, “Did it hurt?”

Woojin rubbed at the bruise. “It was only one punch. But it did hurt a lot. Then I grabbed the kid’s hand and we ran away together. The bullies chased us for a bit, but a teacher saw them and stopped them.” His lower lip was trembling. “I— I didn’t fight back at all. I just wanted to make sure the kid didn’t get hurt.”

“It’s okay,” Daniel said gently, wrapping an arm around the little boy and bringing him close.

“You— You’re not angry?"

Daniel shook his head. “Of course not, Woojin. You were doing what you thought was right. You just wanted to protect him.”

Seongwoo patted Woojin on the head, saying, “And it sounds like you didn’t know this kid. But you wanted to help him anyways.”

“I don’t want anybody to be bullied,” Woojin said, and there were tears forming in his eyes. “Even if I don’t know them, I want to make sure no one gets hurt.”

“You’re a good person, Woojin.” Daniel pulled on a comforting smile. “And I’m proud of you.” He then glanced down at the bruise again, and it looked like it pained him to see it. “But next time, you should go straight to the teacher. So you wouldn’t get hurt.”

Woojin tore his eyes away from the ground, returning Daniel’s gaze. “Bu— But the kid could have gotten hurt if I went to the teacher first! There was no time! I had to go to him quickly!”

“Yes, but—”

“Wouldn’t you have done the same?” Woojin asked.

“He would,” Seongwoo agreed. He then clamped a hand over his own mouth. “Sorry, Niel.”

Daniel sighed. “Even so. Something worse could have happened. And you should have told me that you got hurt.”

“I was afraid you’d be mad at me...”

“But now you know that I’m not mad, Woojin. So please tell me if something happens next time. Okay?”

There was a slight pause. Then Woojin nodded. “Okay.”

Carefully wiping away the tears near Woojin’s eye, Daniel gave him a tight hug before pulling away. Woojin turned back to look at the sky, and Seongwoo watched them both intently.

Woojin’s next question sounded simple— but the answer was far from simple.

“Why do people hurt others?”

A silence. A few heartbeats passed. Woojin brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

“Why can’t everyone just live happily together? Why are some people so cruel...?”

It seemed as if a million thoughts were going on in Daniel’s mind. “We’re all human,” he finally answered. “Some people can be mean, but there are also the good people like you. And...” There was a hopeful tone to his voice. “People can change. People can grow up, become good people.”

“So those bullies could become good people too?” Woojin asked curiously.

“They could.”

“But they still did bad things before.”

“They have. And there may be no erasing those bad things.”

“But maybe we could give them a second chance.”

Daniel smiled at Woojin’s words. “You have a heart of gold, Woojin.”

Woojin looked a lot brighter now, the trembling gone. He wiped his eyes. “Is there a place where no one gets hurt?”

“What do you mean?”

“A place where no one hurts others. Where everyone can just love each other and live happily.”

It seemed as if Daniel’s was thinking hard yet again. Then Seongwoo spoke up.

“The moon, maybe.”

 

 

[♪♪♪](https://youtu.be/eclxgG1HXr8)

 

 

Woojin blinked and stared at him. Seongwoo glanced at the little boy, grinning as he elaborated.

“Just imagine it. Maybe there’s a small city— or a small kingdom on the moon. If there’s not one, we could build one. A place where everybody is happy. A place where nobody gets hurt.”

“But why the moon?” Woojin asked. 

“It just seems like a peaceful place to be,” Seongwoo answered.

Woojin turned to look at Daniel, wanting to see how the other would react to this. Daniel looked as if he considered explaining about what the moon was made of, how it was impossible to go there unless you were an astronaut, about the absence of oxygen and everything—

But a grin spread across his face. “And there could be a little prince there to rule over that kingdom,” Daniel said. “He would rule with kindness, of course.”

Woojin’s eyes were wide with wonder. “Am I the little prince?”

“There’s nobody more suited for the job than you.”

“Prince Woojin!” Seongwoo declared.

“Little Prince Woojin,” Daniel chuckled.

“I don’t want to rule alone, though,” Woojin muttered. “I want you and Seongwoo-hyung to be there with me.”

“Then that settles it,” Daniel said. “We’ll go together. Two kings and their little prince.”

Woojin grinned as he glanced up at the moon. “A place where no one is sad. Our kingdom.”

“We could live in a biiiiig castle,” Seongwoo said dramatically, spreading out his arms as emphasis. “A castle made out of glass—”

“Or silver,” Daniel suggested.

“Or even gold,” Seongwoo finished. “Anything you want, Woojin. And it would be so tall that you could see it from Earth.”

Woojin giggled. “But...” His eyes seemed to shine with a certain thoughtfulness. “I don’t need a castle. I just want a nice, comfortable place. A small house is fine. It doesn’t have to be that tall or made out of gold, either. It could just be two floors, made out of bricks and I would still love it.”

“With a chimney and a nice cozy fireplace,” Seongwoo added.

Happily, Woojin nodded. “Yes, that sounds amazing!”

“A kind and humble little prince,” Daniel said, his voice gentle. “It would be the happiest kingdom ever.” He then suddenly let out a small shout, pointing at the sky where a streak of light could be seen for a few precious seconds. “Look, look!”

“Shooting star!” Woojin exclaimed.

“A chunk of meteoroid burning upon Earth’s atmosphere,” Seongwoo mumbled under his breath. When Woojin turned to stare at him, Seongwoo coughed loudly. “I mean, _wow,_ look!  A shooting star!”

Woojin shook Daniel’s arm. “Make a wish, make a wish!”

“Why me?”

“You saw it first!”

“Well then. I’m gonna make a lot of wishes,” Daniel said with a grin. He clamped his hands together and shut his eyes. “I wish that Woojin could grow up in a world where everybody is happy, where no one gets hurt.” His grin grew. “I wish Seongwoo could make his debut as an actor soon.”

“Aww, thanks, Niel.”

“Make a wish for yourself too!” Woojin urged.

“I wish,” Daniel continued, opening his eyes, “that we can always be together like this.”

 

 

 

 

They continued to talk about the dream-like kingdom as the waves continued to wash over the shore, as the moon continued to shine in the sky. The two Sigmund Corp doctors heard every word, every laughter, and saw every smile that spread across the trio’s faces.

And Jaehwan wondered when was the last time he saw Daniel looking so _happy._

Eventually Woojin’s eyes began to flutter, and the little boy, laying on his back, slowly fell asleep underneath the stars. With practiced care, Daniel took off his jacket and placed it over Woojin’s small body as a blanket.

For a while he just stared at Woojin’s peacefully sleeping face.

“He’s a really good kid,” Seongwoo said, voice filled with fondness.

“Yeah.” Daniel chuckled. He then glanced up, locking eyes with the other man. “The three of us don’t really get to spend much time together, huh?” 

“There’s no helping it,” Seongwoo replied. “Busy schedules are busy schedules. But we always manage somehow.”

“Right...”

“Is it hard being an idol?”

The question must have caught Daniel off guard. He hummed, thinking it over. “It’s fun. I love the stage. It was my dream to debut. But of course there are the hard parts... such as the busy schedules. The heavy weight of expectations.” He then glanced at Seongwoo, a lingering look in his eyes. “And having to keep relationships a secret.”

“Daniel...”

The younger man had reached out to take Seongwoo’s hand, giving it a small squeeze. “I promise. One day, I’ll tell the whole world about us.”

“There’s no rush, really,” Seongwoo said. “We talked about this. Just do what you think is right.”

“It’s tiring having to hide everything.”

“Our ninja skills are pretty good, though.”

Gently, Daniel laughed. “I love you so much. You know that, right?”

Seongwoo smiled back, returning the squeeze of Daniel’s hand. “Of course I do.”

A small breeze blew at their hair and clothes. Woojin shifted a little in his sleep.

“It’s so nice here,” Seongwoo said with a sigh. He then closed his eyes and leaned back until he lay on the blanket. He snuggled against Woojin, offering the warmth of his arms. Woojin snuggled back against Seongwoo’s chest. “Let’s go back here later. The three of us.”

“Let’s,” Daniel agreed, before flopping onto his back as well. “It’s so comfortable.”

Woojin let out a small hum, still fast asleep. Daniel chuckled fondly.

“The moon’s really pretty,” Seongwoo commented.

Eyes on the glowing orb in the sky, Daniel nodded. “It is.”

 

 

 

 

The whole mystery of their client was like a giant puzzle. Jaehwan knew that it wasn’t going to be easy to make sense of things, but as they traveled deeper and deeper into the memories, some puzzle pieces started to slide into place.

And this. _This_ was like a huge portion that clicked together, forming part of a clear picture.  

Jaehwan watched the trio, letting his thoughts slip from his mouth.

“Daniel’s wish isn’t to go to the moon. His real wish... His real wish is right here.”

Minhyun was silent beside him.

“He just wants to be with Woojin and Seongwoo,” Jaehwan finished. “That’s what he really wants.”

“Every memory with Woojin was erased,” Minhyun then said quietly. “Including this one.”

“This moment must have meant a lot for Daniel. It’s like a fairy tale, right? Something that a child would believe in with all his heart. Living happily on the moon together in their own little kingdom. Like a fantasy. But it was such a great fantasy that Daniel subconsciously held onto, even after his memory was altered.”

It sounded like a fairy tale, indeed. But with the imagination of a child, anything could be possible. Jaehwan remembered back when he was a little, innocent kid— how his father would tell him stories of faraway lands and magical creatures. From frozen seas filled with bright lights to a bustling village above the clouds... his father would talk about them all and many more. Seated on his father’s lap, little Jaehwan would look up with fascinated eyes and an amazed smile on his face, wondering if he himself could partake in any captivating adventures like the stories told.

Even as he grew up and eventually grasped onto logic and facts, sometimes he would reminisce how his mind worked as a child, letting himself escape reality to imagine the magical journeys that he had yearned for— at least just for a while.

That in itself was charming, but to go on these imaginary adventures with the people you love dearly... made it all the more better.

_Especially if those loved ones were no longer there with you._

Another wind came. Jaehwan could feel it chilling him to the bones.

“It all leads back to this,” he said. “All Daniel wanted was this. To always be with them.”

“You’re right.”

“So what should we do now, hyung?”

“I think,” Minhyun said, “we should keep going. We need to know more about Daniel’s relationship with Woojin and Seongwoo. There are still a lot of things we don’t understand. Then we’ll make our decision on what to do.”

“Alright.”

“You saw the memento, right?”

“Yes. It’s Daniel’s watch again.”

Minhyun slowly climbed to his feet. Jaehwan followed, stretching his legs a little.

“I’ve always been curious about the history of Daniel’s watch,” the younger doctor said. “Should we pause the memory?”

“Yes. Just to be safe.” Minhyun cleared his throat and tapped a few buttons on his wristwatch. _“Pause memory.”_

After a flash of light, silence engulfed them. The sea’s waves stopped moving. The grass stopped swaying in the wind— or _lack_ of wind thereof.

They walked along the shore, towards their client. Minhyun crouched down and began tapping at his wristwatch again, preparing the memento for the next memory jump.

Jaehwan found himself sitting next to the blue blanket, his gaze naturally landing on the trio.

Woojin was still nestled against Seongwoo’s chest. Daniel had an arm swung over the both of them, protecting them from the cold. Seongwoo had drifted off into a light sleep by then, but Daniel was still awake with his soft gaze on the two sleeping figures, as if wanting to engrain the image of them deep in his memory.

Jaehwan couldn’t help but think of how picturesque they looked. As if it was a scene from a movie— a rather bittersweet one, at that. He wished for a happy ending.

And as if to cue the cut of the scene, a loud beep sounded from Minhyun’s wristwatch. Jaehwan blinked, focusing his thoughts on the situation at hand again.

The younger doctor leaned forwards, lightly touching Daniel’s watch. “Next leap,” he said.

This wasn’t a movie. This was the real memory of a real person.

And everything may not end happily. But Jaehwan was going to do whatever he could to give Kang Daniel the happy ending he deserved.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 26 years old _ **

 

Woojin was even smaller in the next memory.

The boy must have been no more than six years old. He wore a hoodie that was far too big to him, the sleeves draping over his hands.

Jaehwan was hit with a sense of déjà vu. They were in the park that Daniel and Seongwoo had visited in a previous memory, at exactly the same place.

But there were differences. Replacing the green trees and the blazing sun, autumn had arrived with its trademark colored leaves and chilly air.

Seongwoo sat on a bench near the playground, watching Woojin having the time of his life on the swings. Next to Seongwoo was a man wearing thick glasses and a disposable mask that almost reached his eyes.

Jaehwan almost didn’t recognize who the man was until he spoke in a familiar deep voice.

“Woojin, be careful. Don’t swing too high.”

Daniel then adjusted the glasses on his face, his eyes crinkling into a smile as Woojin replied with an “Okay!”

“Look at him go,” Seongwoo said with a chuckle, as the little boy slowed down his kicks. He then drew in a deep breath, the chilly air filling his lungs. “Weather’s getting cold.”

“It might start snowing soon,” Daniel said.

“Are you going to have a winter comeback?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

“I didn’t expect you to actually answer.” A small giggle escaped from Seongwoo’s lips. “It still feels weird being friends with an idol. Here you are leaking comeback details to me when your fans are dying to hear even the smallest news from you.”

“Aren’t you my fan too, hyung?” There was a mischievous glint in Daniel’s eye.

“I knew Kang Daniel the human before knowing Kang Daniel the idol,” Seongwoo easily answered. When Daniel began pouting, Seongwoo rolled his eyes. “Okay fine, you big child. I’m your fan too.”

With a happy whoop, Daniel threw his arms around the other man. Looking flustered at the unexpected hug, Seongwoo cautiously patted him on the back in response, cheeks turning a noticeable color of red.

“Says the guy who's gonna be a celebrity soon,” Daniel then said, after releasing Seongwoo.

“Hey, I’m not an actor yet,” the older man said, after clearing his throat. He had a confident grin on his face. “But you’ll see how cool I am when I do begin acting.”

“You’re already cool now though, hyung.”

“Aww, I'm touched.”

“No, I mean, really.”

There was a different tone to Daniel’s voice. His eyes were on Seongwoo, looking as serious as ever.

“Niel...?”

“You’re really cool, hyung. I’m always in awe of you and everything. You really do your best in everything and you always set your mind and heart in whatever you do and I think that’s amazing.”

“Daniel—”

“You’re already perfect as you are now.”

Daniel then clamped a hand over his mouth, his face burning up almost immediately behind the mask. Seongwoo looked surprised, speechless.

“So-Sorry,” Daniel finally said. “It just slipped out. But I just had to say that. Sorry if it sounded freaky.”

Seongwoo found his voice. “No, uh, it’s fine.”

“I just really like you, hyung.”

“That's sweet.”

“Not in a platonic sense,” Daniel said, catching Seongwoo off guard once more. “Okay, shit, this isn’t going as planned but I , uh—” He tugged down the mask, showing his face to the man in front of him, his voice no longer muffled. “What would you do if I told you that I liked you as more than a friend?”

“Okay, whoa, what’s going on?” Seongwoo pinched his own cheek. “Is this a dream?”

“My heart is pounding quite painfully against my chest and it hurts pretty badly so I’m sure this isn’t a dream and please answer my question before it explodes, hyung.”

“Calm down, calm down,” Seongwoo said, whether to Daniel or to himself it wasn’t clear. He cleared his throat again. “Well, _if_ you did say that... Then I would say that I liked you back.”

“I like you as more than a friend, hyung,” Daniel said immediately.

“I like you too, Daniel. As more than a friend.”

They stared at each other with wide eyes, breathing deeply as if they had just run a marathon. It seemed as if the only noise that could be heard were the chirping of birds and the squeaking of the swings.

Daniel was the first to burst out in relieved laughter. He leaned forwards, burying his face in the crook of Seongwoo’s neck and staying there.

Seongwoo then smiled widely, wrapping his arms around Daniel. It only took a few seconds for him to begin lightly laughing as well.

"So this is really happening..." Daniel said, voice muffled against Seongwoo’s shoulder. "It's really happening."

"Yes. Believe it."

“I really want to kiss you right now,” 

“Not in public, Niel,” Seongwoo chuckled. He looked around. The park was nearly empty with only a few pedestrians that didn’t look their way. But it seemed he didn’t want to risk it.

Daniel huffed. “Fine.”

“Did I miss something?”

Both Daniel and Seongwoo jumped where they sat. The younger man pulled himself away to face Woojin, who had approached the bench without them noticing.

“Did I miss something?” Woojin asked again. He stood in front of them in his oversized hoodie, cocking his head to the side curiously.

“Daniel just said he’s in love with me,” Seongwoo replied without a second of hesitation. Daniel choked on air.

Woojin continued without missing a beat. “Do you love him too?”

“Of course I do.”

“Okay, good.” Woojin appeared unfazed. “He talks about you a lot, hyung.”

Daniel coughed loudly in a _please don’t expose me_ manner.

“Oh?” Seongwoo grinned. “What does he say?”

“He says that your eyes are sparkly and that you’re beautiful and—”

Daniel had grabbed Woojin in his arms and began tickling him. Soon the park was filled with the little boy’s shrieks of laughter.

It didn’t last long as Woojin squirmed out of the hold and ran back to the playground.

“Well, he accepted the news quite easily,” Seongwoo remarked, watching Woojin hop on the swings again.

“Some people may think that the concept of love is incomprehensible for a six year old’s mind,” Daniel said, face still flushed. “But I’m sure he understands.”

“Yeah, because you talk about me all the time, huh?”

Daniel pulled up his mask again, hiding his colored cheeks.

“How does it feel up there?” Seongwoo then asked Woojin.

“It feels like I’m flying!” Woojin shouted, kicking his legs hard. “Like I’m on a rocket ship!”

“He is _so_ cute,” Seongwoo sighed.

“Even cuter when exposing me, huh?” Daniel mumbled. 

“I guess you could say that.” Seongwoo paused. “Hey, Daniel.”

“Yeah?”

Daniel blinked when Seongwoo pushed something into his hand. He glanced down, examining the small neatly wrapped box that he now held in his fingers.

“I got you something,” Seongwoo said. “I wanted to give it to you before but I kept chickening out. But here you go now.”

Looking surprised, Daniel began, “Seongwoo—”

“Don’t feel obliged to get me anything, though. I just wanted to give you this. Really.”

Daniel undid the wrappings slowly and carefully. He lifted the top of the box to reveal a silver wristwatch, its smooth surface glistening underneath the autumn sky.

“Thank you,” he finally said, after seconds of finding his voice. “It’s beautiful, hyung.”

“You’re always busy with your schedules. I thought having a watch would come in handy. And it’s something for you to remember me by whenever we can’t meet up.”

“What could I give you in return?” Daniel’s voice was soft, as if choked up with emotion.

“I said you don’t have to get me anything, Daniel.”

“C’mon, hyung. Anything. Just say whatever pops in your mind.”

Seongwoo stared at him, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he thought. “Well...”  

Daniel stared back hopefully.

“What I want is something related to the watch,” Seongwoo continued.

“What is it?”

“Time. Just spend some time with me, and I’ll already be the happiest person in the universe.”

There was the rustling of leaves as they fell from trees. While the wind continued to blow, Daniel began to grin. “Just _some_ time? How about a lot and lot of time?”

“That does sound better.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

Seongwoo then looked down as Daniel interlocked their hands.

The two understood everything in the silence. No more words needed to be said. Seongwoo squeezed Daniel’s hand, leaning his head against the younger man’s shoulder. He closed his eyes with a smile, just feeling the moment. Living in the moment. And perhaps— _most likely_ — looking forward to the future.

It really was a bright autumn day.

 

 

 

 

“Feels like déjà vu, doesn’t it?” Jaehwan whispered.

The doctors had kept a considerable distance from the playground, wanting to pay attention to the three of them.

“Déjà vu,” Minhyun said. “But different.”

“Yeah.”

“We still don’t know who exactly Woojin is.”

“But at least this sheds some light on Daniel and Seongwoo’s relationship,” Jaehwan said. “They met before. They were together. But they had to keep it a secret, apparently?”

“I have a theory,” Minhyun said. Jaehwan was looking at him with an air of understanding. “But I’ll wait for the next memories to confirm it.”

_The puzzle pieces were starting to make sense, starting to show at least a little bit of the final picture— as hazy as it may be._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoho tell me what you think :)  
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> Also! I’m going to be writing for the ongniel fic fest by [@gapyeonglovers](https://twitter.com/gapyeonglovers) ! All stories in the fest will be posted as anonymous first so it’ll be fun to guess which author wrote which story.
> 
> (please do check out the prompt list and be excited because there’s a ton of interesting prompts! And it’s so nice to see so many authors writing for ongniel! uwu )
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> you can also catch me on twitter: [@myday_blackrose](https://twitter.com/myday_blackrose)


	18. first meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit thought this would be a really short chapter but 7.8k words say otherwise.
> 
> There’s a lot of info here, so brace yourselves! :)

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 26 years old _ **

 

It was amazing how one thing could look and mean so differently to another person.

 

Jaehwan had fond memories of the moon.

He remembered when he was a little boy and how he would stargaze with his parents sometimes.

He remembered how the large glowing orb hung in the air as he sat in a café near campus.

He remembered himself just a few months ago, walking underneath the night sky. Park Woojin and Park Jihoon were there with him, grins on their faces. They were talking about the future.

And Jaehwan remembered how, on the same night, he and Minhyun had squeezed onto the little balcony of their apartment. It was the younger doctor’s birthday and their friends had thrown him a surprise party. Jonghyun, Nayoung, and Aron were setting the table, piling it up with food and drinks, while the others ran around with confetti and balloons.

At one point, Jaehwan decided he wanted to play with the sparklers that Kyulkyung had brought for him. So he grabbed Minhyun’s hand and guided him to the balcony.

So there they were, the city lights below them and shoulders brushing against each other, as Minhyun held out one end of his lit sparkler to Jaehwan.

Little sparks of light danced before their eyes, growing in intensity as Jaehwan touched his own sparkler to Minhyun’s, igniting it.

They stayed there for a while. Not only because Minki had shut the balcony door behind them as a joke (and Woojin had wholeheartedly supported the joke by locking the door), but also because the atmosphere was nice. It was a really nice atmosphere that he wanted to be enveloped in for a little longer.

And Minhyun being there, Jaehwan felt safe. He didn’t know how to explain it, but having Minhyun next to him made Jaehwan feel safe. Even at the wild possibility of being stuck there for the whole night and possibly freezing in the cold temperature, he simply felt _safe._

It was peaceful and quiet, albeit for the muffled chatter coming from behind the door. Jaehwan liked gazing at the city in front and below him, seeing all the little lights and the silhouettes of tall buildings.

And just like the previous memories, there was the glowing full moon. It hung proudly in the night sky.

One thing Jaehwan remembered clearly about that moment was that Minhyun looked like he wanted to say something. There was this look in his eyes that Jaehwan recognized— it was the _I’m thinking really hard_ look. But Minhyun then closed his mouth and pulled on a smile. He continued to watch Jaehwan draw little shapes in the air with the sparklers, until the door opened and Hyunbin informed them that the food was ready.

Before going back inside, Jaehwan spared one glance over his shoulder, taking in the sight of the night sky yet again.

 

 

 

 

Kang Daniel had fond memories of the moon as well. Jaehwan could see that. And to Daniel, the moon meant more than just a pretty glowing orb in the sky.

It wasn’t just the memory itself— the memory of Daniel at the sea with Seongwoo and Woojin— but it was also the lingering feelings that lasted for years, all the way till the present day. There were lingering feelings, thoughts, and a yearning that Daniel himself couldn’t remember the origins of.

Jaehwan had realized that Daniel’s dying wish, in a way, was to go to the moon. Because the moon was where the small, peaceful kingdom would be. The place where Daniel would live happily with Seongwoo and Woojin. The place where nobody got hurt, where everybody was happy. _A fantasy._

It was a fantasy that sounded far-fetched and impossible— and, Jaehwan hated to admit, it was heartbreaking. Even if the doctors were to take Daniel to the moon, he wouldn’t find what he wanted there. Seongwoo and Woojin wouldn’t be there. Kang Daniel’s real wish, after all, was to always be with those two people who he loved dearly.

_So what now?_

The gears were starting to turn in Jaehwan’s head. The final picture was still hazy. But he could feel it— he and Minhyun were close to uncovering everything.

Little Woojin continued to kick his legs hard on the swings. With his free hand, Daniel was taking something out of the pocket of his coat. Seongwoo, who was still leaning against Daniel’s shoulder, shifted his position at the movement of the younger man’s arm.

“Sometime last year, Woojin made me something.” Daniel was grinning. “I’ve kept it with me all this time.”

“Hm? What is it?” Seongwoo mumbled curiously, slowly sitting up.

“He drew something.” Daniel was unfolding a piece of flickering paper in his hand. He did it carefully and slowly, as if afraid he would accidentally rip it.

The moment was delicate and obviously not something for outsiders to see. But all Sigmund Corp clients were told beforehand— long before the memory procedure— that _everything_ in the memories would be seen by the doctors. Even so, Jaehwan felt uncomfortable as he took a few steps forwards, glancing over his client’s shoulder to see the drawing.

Sketched with colorful crayons, it was a crude picture of a smiling boy holding a microphone, music notes surrounding him. Written in a bright pink color were the words: _“me when I grow up!”_

Seongwoo was chuckling. “Looks like Woojin wants to be just like you, Niel.”

“Have you ever heard him sing?” Daniel asked.

“Yes, actually. Quite a few times. He’s quite talented.”

“I’ve heard him sing a few times too.” Daniel set the paper on his lap, grinning to himself. “And it’s not like I told him to be a singer or anything. He just... wanted to. All on his own. Isn’t that amazing?” He then glanced up at the little boy on the swings. “But even if he changes his mind and wants to try something else, that’s fine too. I’m just looking forward to seeing him grow up, year after year and all.”

“And I’ll be there with you throughout those years.”

At Seongwoo’s words— at the implication of those words— Daniel glanced at the older man.

“Did I actually say that out loud?” Seongwoo then muttered.

“You did.”

“It was supposed to be just said in my head.”

“Well, you said it out loud too, hyung.”

“Well, damn.” Cheeks heating up, Seongwoo hid his face in the crook of Daniel’s neck.

The younger man chuckled, voice slightly shaky. “You really meant that?”

Seongwoo then lifted his head, staring back with a renewed confident smile. “Yeah. Every word.”

“Alright,” Daniel finally said, giving Seongwoo’s hand a squeeze. “You can’t take back what you said.”

“Now why would I want to do that?”

“I’ll remember this.”

Seongwoo laughed. “Don’t you dare forget.”

With a happy smirk, Daniel answered, “I won’t.”

 

 

It was time for the next leap.

After freezing the memory, Jaehwan picked up the memento in his hands. As he held Woojin’s drawing, he couldn't help but think of how fragile it felt against his skin.

Even after Minhyun took one end of the paper in his own fingers, Jaehwan kept staring at the crayon strokes, lost in thought.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 25 years old _ **

 

Jaehwan liked going to Hongdae.

He liked the festive atmosphere, liked the people going there to show the world what they’ve got with their performances and busking, liked the colorful lights that gleamed at night.

When he was in Seoul and needed a place to clear his mind, he would go there— once, twice, often.

More like often, really.

He would walk around the streets and listen to the noises in the air. He would hear live instruments being played, the sweet vocals of performers, and pop music for those who wanted to dance. He and his friends sometimes even found a good spot and decided to busk there— just to experience it.

His friends would jokingly (yet sometimes seriously) ask him why he didn’t pursue a career in music instead. And Jaehwan would wonder... and wonder some more.

That was before he got swamped with work at Sigmund Corp. He never had time to go to Hongdae and walk around again. But he would remember how he explored the place at night, how he would glance at all the little lights on shops with their bright colors.

 

 

 

 

The memory of Kang Daniel at 25 years old brought Jaehwan back to that place. He felt a small tinge of nostalgia, realizing that he had missed it. Even though the memory was in broad daylight— somewhere past 12 o’clock, Jaehwan guessed by the sun in the sky— he could feel himself reminiscing about his past night outings in the same location.

Daniel was walking down the streets of Hongdae, holding onto Woojin’s hand.

Once again, Woojin wore clothes that were too big for him. And once again, Daniel had his face covered.

But this time, it wasn’t just a normal disposable mask that barely reached the eyes. This time, Daniel was wearing a plastic mask that covered his entire face, and when he turned to Woojin, the little boy laughed.

It was a mask of a cartoon dog. One of those fluffy, white dogs that Jaehwan couldn’t remember the name of. The mask covered his face but left the back of the head exposed. Kang Daniel had jet black hair— a color that did not draw attention to himself.

Minhyun then said, “That’s a Samoyed, isn’t it?”

“Ah.” Jaehwan nodded. “So that’s what it was.”

Even though Daniel was disguised, the two doctors could easily tell it was him. He was easily recognizable by his shoulders, and the fact that Woojin was holding tightly onto his hand.

But the people around them didn’t seem to notice who he was, which must have been a good thing for Daniel. He was walking with a slight hop in his steps, clearly in a good mood. It seemed as if he was avoiding the crowded areas as well. Jaehwan also noted how Daniel wore simple clothes— blue jeans and a white T-shirt— as if trying to look as plain as possible.

(Or as plain as someone could be with that thing on his face.)

Woojin giggled again. “See, hyung, it really fits you!”

Daniel glanced over his shoulder, his voice muffled as he spoke. “That store really sold some good masks.”

“I’m the one that picked it for you!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel chuckled, playing with Woojin’s hair. “You always make the best choices.”

Jaehwan was making sure to keep up with them, weaving between the crowds. Sometimes Minhyun would tug him by the arm or put both hands on Jaehwan’s shoulders, guiding and making sure the younger doctor didn’t bump into anybody.

“It gets a lot crowded at night,” Jaehwan commented. “This is actually pretty empty.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s a weekday,” Minhyun said, his eyes on their client. “Daniel must’ve purposely chosen a time and day when the streets aren’t that full.”

“Right.”

There were some people busking. Daniel and Woojin stopped to watch a couple of them—a woman strummed her guitar, a group of teenagers were covering a famous dance, and a middle-aged man sang without accompaniment.

“I like seeing people perform,” Woojin was telling Daniel. “It makes me really happy.” He then dug into his pockets, pulling out a piece of paper and shoving it into Daniel’s hand. “This is my dream.”

“Ooh, what’s this?” Daniel was beginning to unfold the paper when Woojin let out a tiny yell.

“Nooo, don’t open it now! Later, hyung!”

“Ah, I see.” Daniel then carefully tucked the paper into his own pocket. “It’s super important, huh?”

“Super _super_ important!”

“So I’ll open it later when I get home.” Daniel then let out a laugh when Woojin tugged on his hand, already in search for the next busker.

The duo rounded a corner, and it was then that they heard the soft sound of drums in the distance.

Barely heard over the hustle and bustle of the small crowds, it started as a soft and delicate beat. But as soon as the drumming began picking up pace, Woojin started running and pulling Daniel along with him.

“Hurry up, hyung!” the little boy urged.

Daniel didn’t seem too surprised. Perhaps he was used to being pulled along like this. With his long legs and big strides, he easily kept up with Woojin’s speed. Woojin, after all, was even smaller in this memory, barely reaching Daniel’s waist.

“Something caught your ear?” Daniel asked playfully.

“Someone’s playing drums!” Woojin said, already huffing for breath.

The two doctors were already chasing after them. Jaehwan couldn’t help but laugh a little. It was perhaps some odd coincidence. These past few days, he had wanted to go to Hongdae, and he had wanted to go there with Minhyun— maybe to watch some people busk, maybe to go to one of the cafés Jaehwan had previously visited, or maybe to just enjoy the atmosphere together. But he never thought it would be like this— as invisible people zipping past the crowds, making sure not to crash into anybody, breathing steadily as they ran.

_Life really was weird._

The drumming grew louder. After passing another line of stores, Woojin finally stopped in front of a café.

The building was two stories high, giving off a vintage vibe with its brick walls and thickly framed windows. From the windows of the second floor, customers were glancing down at the sight below them.

Daniel himself was staring in the same direction.

There was a small crowd gathered in front of the café, the sound of drums as loud as ever. And on the drums was Ong Seongwoo, a happy smirk on his face as he kept up a steady beat that eventually grew faster and faster.

“Whoa,” Daniel breathed.

“He’s cool!” Woojin said, hopping up and down.

After a few seconds of just staring without a word, Daniel answered, “He is.”

Jaehwan could understand what drew the crowd to Ong Seongwoo. It wasn’t just the handsome face and remarkable drumming skills, but it was also the charisma and charms that seemed to ooze out of the man. It was clear that he had the talent to be a model and actor— his facial expressions and gestures were too good and natural.

Seongwoo knew how to keep people captivated by his performance— and just like everybody else, Kang Daniel was captivated as well.

Woojin seemed to snap Daniel out of his daze. The little boy was poking Daniel in the side, saying, “You should go and perform with him!”

Daniel coughed and seemed to unfreeze. “Wh-What? Perform what?”

“Dance! Freestyle or something!” Woojin urged. He ran behind Daniel and attempted to push him forward. Daniel, in return, planted his feet firmly on the ground, not budging. “Go, go!”

“I don’t even know him—”

“You can get to know him later!”

“But—”

“No one will recognize you! The disguise is fool-proof!” Woojin was huffing out his cheeks, still pushing. “Pleaaase, do it for me.”

Even though Daniel was wearing a mask, it was easy to imagine the grin that made its way to his face. “What wouldn’t I do for you, Woojin?”

Daniel then launched himself forwards, striding confidently to where Seongwoo sat. Woojin was cheering, cheeks flushed with excitement.

Without stopping his performance, Seongwoo glanced up at the masked newcomer. Questioningly, he raised an eyebrow.

Daniel gave a slight bow to Seongwoo before facing the crowd.

A smirk grew on Seongwoo’s face.

What happened next brought another sense of déjà vu to Jaehwan. He decided that he really shouldn’t be surprised anymore. It seemed as if more senses of familiarity would continue to appear.

As Seongwoo continued to play, Daniel began to dance, matching the beat of Seongwoo’s drums even after it got faster and faster.

“Isn’t this...?” Jaehwan started.

“Yeah,” Minhyun said. His tone was soft. “It’s the same beat that Seongwoo played back at that pub in the snowy village.”

“And Daniel is pretty much doing the same choreography, isn’t he?”

“A very similar one, yes.”

“That’s thirteen years after this,” Jaehwan said. _“Thirteen_ years.”

It might have been weird for him to feel nostalgic. But for a few seconds, Jaehwan closed his eyes. He could picture that small pub with its cozy fireplace, the sound of clinking glass in the air, the snow falling outside windows. And he could picture Seongwoo playing the drums, just as Daniel walked confidently onto the stage towards his husband. He could hear the cheers of the pub’s audience as the two men performed, the brightest smiles on their faces.

Jaehwan opened his eyes. Here were Daniel and Seongwoo now, at this moment, performing the very same thing. At a different place, at a different time.

The beat was getting more and more intense, the crowd and Woojin getting even more excited, and Seongwoo’s questioning look eventually turned into an intrigued one.

Jaehwan glanced at his friend, feeling a slight squeeze of his heart at the expression on Minhyun’s face.

Minhyun’s gaze was unwavering as he watched Daniel and Seongwoo. There was a sadness in the older doctor’s eyes— as if he couldn’t help it. It felt so out of place with the smiles and cheers of the people around them.

Jaehwan reached out to place a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Minhyun-hyung...?”

“This all confirms my theory.”

The younger doctor’s hand froze, staying in the air for a few seconds before he let it drop to his side.

Sometimes, Sigmund Corp employees just hoped that their speculations could be wrong. Because confirmation of certain speculations could mean something bad. And this... this was bad.

 

  

At the final smash of drums, Daniel dramatically fell to the floor. The audience gave a loud round of applause, asking for an encore.

Different from how he excitedly clapped during the memory of Daniel at 38 years old, Jaehwan clapped more slowly and softly. There was a heavy weight on his heart now.

Seongwoo held out his hand to Daniel, who took it gratefully and climbed to his feet.

“You’re pretty good,” Seongwoo said, a bright grin on his face.

“Not too bad yourself,” Daniel replied.

Seongwoo then laughed. “It’s hard to take you seriously with that mask on.”

Fingers still intertwined, they faced the crowd and took a bow together.

After the next round of applause, Seongwoo cleared his throat. “Thank you for enjoying the performance, everyone.” With his free hand, he then gestured towards the café behind him. “Please do visit the Hourglass Café. We have performances like this every day. I play drums sometimes. The, er... dancing is spontaneous. But yes, please do visit.”

He flashed another charming smile. Jaehwan could see people swooning in the audience.

The crowd eventually dispersed, some in the direction of other streets while more than half rushed into the café.

Daniel let out a whistle. “You really do know how to promote a place.”

“It’s my friend’s café,” Seongwoo explained. “I’m just helping out. This drum set here belongs to the café. I suggested having performances right outside to attract customers. I guess it worked. Oh— whoops, sorry.”

Realizing that he was still holding onto Daniel’s hand, Seongwoo quickly let go.

Before silence could even begin creeping in, Woojin charged towards them and flung himself at Daniel.

Letting out an _“oof!”_ at the sudden impact, Daniel stumbled back before regaining his balance. “Hey,” he laughed.

“That was _so cool!”_ Woojin gushed, clinging onto Daniel’s legs in a sort of hug. His eyes sparkled with joy. “You were so cool!” He then glanced up at Seongwoo. “You were so cool too, mister!”

With a dramatic gasp, Seongwoo crouched down to Woojin’s height. “Now who’re you calling mister? I’m not that old. Call me ‘hyung’.”

“Okay, hyung!”

“That’s better. And who might you be, kiddo?”

Daniel patted Woojin’s head. “This is—”

“Woojin!” the little boy answered brightly. He was still clinging onto Daniel. “Lee Woojin!”

“Nice to meet you, Woojin.” Seongwoo pulled on a warm, friendly smile. He then playfully pointed at Daniel. “Your dad here really drew in a crowd.”

It was as if a shadow passed over Woojin’s face. His previous brightness had faded— slightly, yet noticeably. “He’s— He’s not my dad.”

Daniel had tensed up. Noticeably as well.

“Oh.” Seongwoo must have sensed the change. “Sorry, I just assumed—” Before he had the chance to continue, Woojin cut in.

“But he’s the coolest hyung ever!”

He was back to being the bright Woojin.

Seongwoo let out a laugh— it was soft like wind chimes. “I thought you said I was cool too.”

“Not as cool, though!”

“You’re cute, Woojin.” Seongwoo then stood up, his eyes on Daniel this time. “Well, whoever you are, you really did help me attract a crowd. I’m sure you just made my friend really, really happy.”

It must have been an unexpected show of gratitude. Daniel scratched the back of his neck, clearly flustered. “There was already a crowd before I came, though.”

“Yeah. But the crowd grew after you began dancing. So, thank you, really.”

“No problem. Woojin asked me to dance, so I did.”

“Then I guess I have to thank the both of you.” Seongwoo gestured to the café, grinning. “Are you two hungry? I’ll treat you guys to something. As my way of saying thanks.”

“Oh.” There was both hesitance and want in Daniel’s voice. Jaehwan knew that sort of tone. It was when you had to refuse something that you actually really _really_ wanted. “That’s very kind of you, but—”

“Ice cream!” Woojin exclaimed. He clung tighter onto Daniel’s legs. “Can we have ice cream?”

Sensing Daniel’s hesitance, Seongwoo quickly said, “I mean, I don't mean to insist too much or anything—”

Seeing the smile wavering from Seongwoo’s face, Daniel quickly said, “I would love to!” His words came out louder and more enthusiastic than he must have intended. He then cleared his throat. “I— I mean, we— _We_ would love to.”

“Okay, then.” Seongwoo’s smile was back. “I know a little ice cream parlor not far from here. Let’s go there.”

“Sounds awesome!” Woojin said brightly.

“Glad to hear that. I’m gonna tell my friend that I’ll be gone for a bit, okay?”

“Alright,” Daniel and Woojin answered at the same time.

Seongwoo chuckled. “I’ll be right back.”

After Seongwoo disappeared into the café, the air seemed to whoosh out of Daniel’s lungs all at once. Seconds passed until he finally spoke.

“Whoa,” was all he could say.

“See!” Woojin said. “You get to know him too!”

Before Daniel could answer, there was the chiming of bells as the café door opened again. Seongwoo stepped out, now adorning a coat over his simple shirt and jeans. He flashed a grin. “Shall we go?”

 

 

 

 

A few minutes later and they were seated at an ice cream parlor near Hongdae— Woojin leaning against Daniel, Seongwoo in front of them. Daniel had suggested they sit on the second floor so that Woojin could have a good view of the streets below. The trio found a table at the corner, right next to the window. There were only a couple occupants on the same floor, but Daniel purposely sat so his back was facing them.

Even so, Daniel refused to take off his mask.

“You sure you don’t want to eat anything?” Seongwoo asked Daniel, after he had placed a bowl of ice cream in front of Woojin.

Woojin’s eyes lit up as he scooped up a big chunk from the bowl. He took a big bite, leaning back heavily in the chair, in a bliss.

Daniel chuckled. “It’s fine. This is for Woojin.”

With a hum, Seongwoo said, “Just tell me if you change your mind.”

The two doctors were seated at the table next to the trio. Jaehwan reached across and poked his friend on the shoulder. “Hyung, can I have some ice cream too?”

Minhyun stared at him for a bit, a half smile ghosting over his lips. “No.”

Jaehwan sighed. “I was just trying to lighten the mood.”

The smile grew. “I know, Hwannie. I know.”

Their client’s voice was now slightly louder, and the two doctors fixed their full attention on him again.

“By the way.” Daniel seemed to hesitate for a split second. “We haven’t gotten your name yet.”

A grin made its way onto Seongwoo’s face. “I’m Ong Seongwoo. Nice to meet you.”

“Hong Seongwoo?” Daniel asked.

“Gong Seongwoo,” Woojin said, mouth full.

Seongwoo laughed brightly. “No, no. _Ong_ Seongwoo. Just Ong. Ong Seongwoo.”

“Ong,” Daniel repeated, as if testing the name. “That’s a very rare surname.”

“I get that a lot.”

“You’re the first Ong that I met, hyung!” Woojin piped up.

“I get that a lot too,” Seongwoo said with a chuckle.

Daniel then held out his hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Ong Seongwoo.”

They shook hands, and Seongwoo said, “Nice to meet you too, mysterious Samoyed.”

Woojin snorted a little, which earned him a playful pinch on the cheek from Daniel.

“Am I not going to get a name?” Seongwoo then asked curiously.

After a silence, Daniel simply said, “Let’s just keep it mysterious.”

Another interested smirk from Seongwoo. “Alrighty.”

“You’re really good at the drums,” Daniel then said. “You caught Woojin’s attention even though we were far away.”

The doctors continued listening to the conversation, their eyes still on the trio. Jaehwan wished he could just see them, without thinking of the events that would happen afterwards— he wanted to just see them in this moment, without knowing that Daniel was going to lose them.

Jaehwan’s feelings must have shown on his face, because it was at that moment that Minhyun began to speak, touching upon the confirmation that neither of them wanted.

“Jaehwan. You understand what happened, right?”

“Yes. It’s really sad, isn’t it?”

Minhyun was silent. Seongwoo had just made a joke, causing both Woojin and Daniel to burst out laughing.

“I felt that something was off,” Jaehwan then said, “with the memory of Daniel at 30 years old. Maybe it wasn’t noticeable at first. But in that certain memory, some of Seongwoo’s actions and the things he said were... weird.”

“They were.”

Jaehwan remembered the little details. For a bit, he let himself think of that certain previous memory— of Daniel and Seongwoo in that café while the rain poured outside. Daniel had introduced himself to Seongwoo— and Seongwoo had stared at him, analyzing him. Jaehwan had thought Seongwoo was simply curious of the man in front of him, or perhaps the introduction itself confused Seongwoo.

Because why would you introduce yourself to someone you already knew?

Rubbing his eyes, Jaehwan remembered what Daniel and Seongwoo had said— that little bit of conversation that was the oddest part for him.

 

_(“What were you reading?”_

_“Oh, this. It’s poetry.”_

_“You like poetry too, hyung?”_

_“Of course I do. Wait. Did you just call me ‘hyung’?”_

_“You— You’re older than me, right?”_

_“Yeah, but...”)_

  

“In that memory of Daniel at 30 years old...” Jaehwan then said. “Seongwoo must’ve been so confused. Daniel suddenly introduced himself. Asked Seongwoo if he liked poetry when Daniel should have already known. Called him ‘hyung’ when Daniel already dropped the honorifics a long time ago.”

Minhyun nodded. “We assumed that it was their first meeting. In that memory. But that’s not the case. Their first meeting... Their _real_ first meeting is right here.”

“A part of me wanted to believe that they were just keeping up an act,” Jaehwan muttered. “After I saw the memory of them at the sea with Woojin, I thought that perhaps Daniel and Seongwoo simply already met before. And they just had to keep their relationship a secret— had to act as if they were strangers when they met at the café when Daniel was 30 years old. But no. That’s not the case either.”

Jaehwan hated to say it. He really did. But he steadied himself, glancing at his client again.

“X-Corp... They didn’t just erase Woojin from Daniel’s memory. They erased Ong Seongwoo as well.”

 

 

 

 

For a while, Jaehwan and Minhyun just let the revelation hang in the air. Just for a little while, they watched Daniel talking excitedly about how his interest in dance started, with Seongwoo and Woojin listening intently. The smile on Seongwoo’s face continued to grow brighter and warmer.

Minhyun was resting his chin on his hand, elbow on the table. “I wished it wasn’t true,” he said. “Having to forget two people...” He trailed off.

“I guess X-Corp didn’t care about that,” Jaehwan muttered.

“Woojin is somebody very important to Daniel,” Minhyun said. “Somebody who had known Daniel for years. Daniel’s father even confirmed that fact to the X-Corp employees. So we can just imagine how many memories of Woojin had to be erased from Daniel’s mind. Years and years of it. They all had to be erased.”

Seongwoo was then talking about how he helped out his friend at the café, mentioning about his drumming skills here and there.

“Most of the memories we saw of Woojin...” Minhyun continued, “...Seongwoo was in them. And we can assume that he’s in more than the ones we saw, somewhere in between the memories that the Sigmund Corp machine showed us. And this...” He nodded towards their client who was laughing at something funny Seongwoo said. “...This is the first time Daniel met Seongwoo. His very first memory with Seongwoo.”

“And Woojin is in it,” Jaehwan finished.

“Yes,” Minhyun confirmed. “We know how strong the memories of first meetings are. We learned it before during those Sigmund Corp lessons. The first meeting with a person is like the core memory— it’s the root of all the memories that’ll follow after it. You take that away and the rest can become shaky. When X-Corp erased this memory of Woojin, they erased Daniel’s first memory with Seongwoo as well.”

“And this is definitely their first meeting,” Jaehwan said.

“Yes. It all lines up. Back at the wedding, I talked to Doyeon. She told me that Seongwoo’s first encounter with his ‘mysterious boyfriend’ was _five years_ before he met Daniel. She, and us, assumed that Seongwoo had an ex before meeting Daniel. But, it turns out... that ‘mysterious boyfriend’ was Kang Daniel himself.”

Jaehwan nodded. “Daniel is 25 years old in this memory. He’ll be 30 when he introduces himself to Seongwoo for the second time— after the memory wipe. They’ll meet at that café to talk about their music video.”

“So your theory was correct all along. In the end, Seongwoo was someone that was erased from Daniel’s memory. And Daniel really is Seongwoo’s ‘ex’. Well, not exactly an ex, but you get the point.”

Jaehwan sighed, sounding defeated. He slumped back in his seat. “I didn’t want to be right.”

With a solemn nod, Minhyun said, “Neither of us wanted to be right.”

Jaehwan then suddenly sat up. Something had occurred to him. “Hyung.”

“Yes, Jaehwan?”

“Right before Seongwoo... passed away—” Jaehwan’s voice had lowered. “Seongwoo asked Daniel, _‘do you remember when we first met?’_ Daniel had answered that he remembered... But he answered by describing the memory of how he met Seongwoo at 30 years old.”

“He did.”

Jaehwan tried not to think about it—

_That it could have been Seongwoo’s last attempt at trying to make Daniel remember their real first encounter._

Too late. The thought triggered other recollections as well. Seongwoo’s words of _“I really missed you”_ seemed to carry a heavier weight now that Jaehwan knew exactly how long Seongwoo had waited for Daniel.

Jaehwan couldn’t help but laugh. There was nothing at all funny about the situation— the noise that escaped his lips sounded more like a choked sob than a laugh. “Hyung. When Daniel confessed to Seongwoo... the second time, that is—”

“When Daniel was 30 years old?”

“Yes. Daniel said to Seongwoo something along the lines of _‘when we first met, everything clicked.’_ ”

Minhyun continued it. _“‘It was as if I’d known you for years and years’._ Oh...”

“It’s because Daniel _did_ know Seongwoo for years,” Jaehwan could feel his hands slightly shaking. “But all those memories... Every single memory that has both Woojin and Seongwoo in it... They were all erased. All those years Daniel spent with them both, all gone.”

“Let’s say that Daniel had some memories with _just_ Seongwoo.” Minhyun was now leaning against the chair, still watching Daniel making large gestures with his hands as he spoke. “Even if Daniel had some memories with Seongwoo _without Woojin in them_ , X-Corp must have realized that Daniel’s life wouldn’t make sense. The memory of Daniel’s first meeting with Seongwoo was gone. So how could Seongwoo just appear out of nowhere in Daniel’s life?”

“There would be too many gaps,” Jaehwan said.

“Exactly. To erase a person completely from someone’s memory, X-Corp would need to construct fake memories to fill in those gaps. They would replace the real memories with fake memories of mundane things— maybe they made Daniel believe that he had spent a whole day at home when in fact, he had spent the whole day with Woojin. Something like that.” Minhyun paused for a bit, letting the information sink in. “X-Corp could have attempted to construct a fake memory of Daniel meeting Seongwoo _without Woojin._ They could have done that with every memory that had both Seongwoo and Woojin in it. But X-Corp didn’t do that.”

Jaehwan glanced at his friend. Minhyun’s normally calm demeanor was fading. The younger doctor could see a flash of anger in his friend’s eyes.

“Maybe X-Corp simply thought it was more simple and faster to erase Ong Seongwoo completely from Daniel’s memories— rather than having to come up with fake memories to fill in the gaps.”

“So in the end,” Jaehwan said quietly, “both Woojin and Seongwoo were erased from Daniel’s memory. And then we have Seongwoo, who of course remembers everything.”

“Yes. That’s how it went.”

In front of them, Woojin was telling a story. With the ice cream spoon in his hand, he made swinging motions in the air as if it was a sword. Seongwoo was absorbed in the story, urging Woojin to tell him what happens next.

Jaehwan noticed how Daniel was looking back and forth between Woojin and Seongwoo— his stare lingering a little longer on Seongwoo whenever the older man showed a positive reaction to Woojin’s story.

There were too many thoughts running in Jaehwan’s mind. He could feel his defenses falling as he said, “Can you imagine loving someone so much, spending so many years with them— but that person you love doesn’t even remember those years? Doesn't even remember who you are?”

Minhyun was silent as Jaehwan continued.

“Daniel— He... He loved Seongwoo and Woojin so much. But the times he spent together with them— They’re all gone. Just like that.”

Maybe he was putting too much emotion into his words. He knew he needed to focus. Jaehwan cleared his throat.

“Hyung, let’s summarize what we know so far.”

Minhyun nodded. “Alright.”

“Starting from this memory,” Jaehwan began. “Daniel and Woojin meet Seongwoo for the first time.”

“They spent time together for years. At 27 years old, they went to the sea together. Daniel wished that he could stay with them.”

“Just one year after that... Daniel lost Woojin.”

“Daniel’s hiatus began there,” Minhyun said. “He was 29 years old when X-Corp erased both Woojin and Seongwoo from his memory.”

“Starting from here, Jisung-hyung couldn’t get ahold of Daniel.” Jaehwan’s voice became quieter and quieter. “The X-Corp doctors had said that the memory wipe would take approximately a week. Daniel’s phone must have been deactivated by his father. After the memory wipe, Daniel must have been moved to an isolated place for a while, because Jisung-hyung said that Daniel couldn’t be found at his home. With his new fake memories, Daniel was isolated for two months. During those two months, he prepared for his comeback.”

“At 30 years old, just two months after the memory wipe, Daniel then met Ong Seongwoo at the café. In Daniel’s mind, it would be the first time he met Seongwoo. But for Seongwoo... It must’ve been so confusing for Seongwoo.” Minhyun paused, lost in thought. “Now that I think about it, Seongwoo looked really confused at the things Daniel said.”

“He probably thought ‘why is Daniel acting as if he doesn’t know me?’” Jaehwan said.

“Yes. Did you notice how Seongwoo was alert when all the customers in the café started whispering about him and Daniel?”

“Not that you mention it...”

“Maybe he was trying to avoid any weird rumors spreading,” Minhyun explained. “They had kept their relationship a secret, after all. If they had shown signs that they knew each other... knew each even long before Daniel’s hiatus... Well, you never know what sort of gossip people can come up with. They were in a public place with people’s attention on them. Maybe Seongwoo was trying to protect Daniel’s image.”

“That’s really sad,” Jaehwan said.

“It is. But Seongwoo might have thought _‘Oh, Daniel’s pretending like this is the first time we met. So I should play along._ ’ Well, it’s either that or...”

“Or what, hyung?”

“Or perhaps Seongwoo thought Daniel was acting. Acting as the character in the music video that he’ll be in with Seongwoo. Maybe Seongwoo thought that the whole meeting is a chance for them to get into character and prepare themselves for the shoot.”

Jaehwan wondered for a bit before Minhyun said, “The second one is just a little wild hunch. Whichever is correct, what’s clear is that Seongwoo was confused by Daniel’s words and actions, but Seongwoo would then act as if it was their first meeting. Also—” Minhyun tapped his own wrist. “—In that memory, Daniel was wearing the watch that Seongwoo had given him years ago. Daniel himself didn’t know where the watch came from. Maybe his father or X-Corp convinced him that he got it from somewhere else. Eitherway, Daniel was wearing it. And Seongwoo knows exactly where it came from.”

“Oh,” Jaehwan said, seeing where Minhyun was heading. “Because Daniel was wearing the watch, Seongwoo must have felt reassured. _‘Even after all this time, he’s still wearing the watch I gave him’._ The watch meant a lot for the both of them. The thought that Daniel had his memory wiped must not have even crossed Seongwoo’s mind.”

With a nod, Minhyun continued. “Seongwoo would find out eventually about the memory wipe. We don’t know exactly when Seongwoo found out. But he must’ve asked about Woojin, or talked about a previous memory of him and Daniel. None of the mementos led us to that moment— most probably X-Corp’s doing. But we know that moment’s there somewhere. Now, we all know what happens if a direct attempt is made to bring back erased memories.”

Jaehwan visibly shivered as he said, “X-Corp had planted a reaction in Daniel’s brain— so whenever anyone directly tries to make him recall Woojin or the fact that he knew Seongwoo before, it’d cause immense physical pain on Daniel. The reaction must have kicked in at that moment. Seeing Daniel in pain, Seongwoo must’ve realized that something was wrong, so he stopped.”

It hurt to image it. Jaehwan bit his lip as Minhyun continued.

“After realizing that Daniel didn’t remember both him and Woojin, Seongwoo also found out that Daniel’s father was the one behind it all.”

“So Seongwoo would hate Daniel’s father.”

“Daniel’s father only wanted to erase Woojin,” Minhyun said. “It’s clear from his conversation with Daniel and also the X-Corp employees. He only mentioned _one_ person. Only _one_ target to be erased. Seongwoo being erased was something unintended by him. But it happened.”

“Right.”

“After losing Seongwoo, Daniel went back to the sea. Back to the place where he saw the shooting star with Seongwoo and Woojin. He didn’t know exactly why he needed to go back there. He just knew that he _had_ to— and that he felt calm there.”

 _“The subconscious has many ways of telling us what we want_ ,” Jaehwan said, quoting his friend. “He still wanted to be with Seongwoo and Woojin, even if he didn’t remember the times he had spent with them before— even if he didn’t even know that Woojin existed. And the moon... the three of them had imagined a kingdom up there where they could live happily together. So he told Sigmund Corp—”

 _“‘I want to go to the moon,’”_ Minhyun concluded.

“And here we are now.” Jaehwan felt like he had run miles and miles— he felt tired, as if the energy was drained from his body.

“I just remembered something Jisung-hyung told me,” Minhyun said.

“What is it, hyung?”

“On the day Daniel proposed to Seongwoo, Daniel called Jisung-hyung. He told Jisung-hyung of what Seongwoo said to him that day.”

“What did Seongwoo say to Daniel?”

Minhyun was silent for a bit. “He said, _‘Niel-ah, you have no idea how long I waited to hear you say that’.”_

Jaehwan felt even more drained now. “Daniel really had no idea.”

Daniel was smiling widely as Seongwoo finished another story of his. Woojin had emptied his bowl, patting his tummy. It was then that a loud ringing noise pierced through the air, and Seongwoo suddenly dug into his pocket, taking out a phone.

“Sorry,” he said quickly before answering it. Daniel’s eyes were still on him as Seongwoo held the phone to his ear.

A few seconds passed when Seongwoo said, “Alright.” He then hung up and turned to Daniel and Woojin with an apologetic look. “Sorry, guys. I need to head back to my friend’s café. There’s quite a crowd there so he needs some extra help.”

“Oh...” The reluctance was clear on Daniel’s face. He must have tried to cover it but easily failed. “Well, thanks for the treat again. It was really nice to meet you.”

Seongwoo winked. “Likewise.”

“Don’t go!” Woojin said.

“Sorry, I gotta. It was great meeting you, Woojin.”

“Wait—” The volume of Daniel’s voice rose. Seongwoo turned to look at him, detecting the urgency in the younger man’s tone. “Will you be at the café tomorrow?”

Seongwoo continued to stare, as if surprised by the sudden question.

“Or— Or maybe you’ll be there some other day?” Daniel asked. The nervousness was evident in his voice.

A grin broke out on Seongwoo’s face. “I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“Okay...” It was clear that Daniel was smiling behind his mask. “That’s great to hear.”

“Please drop by anytime you want. Although...” Seongwoo then laughed. “I don’t think I’ll be able to recognize you. Unless you plan on being mysterious again.”

“Actually... I think it’s time to stop being mysterious” Daniel’s hand was on the mask. As he lowered it from his face, Seongwoo’s eyes slightly widened, lips slightly parting in surprise.

Woojin was looking back and forth between Daniel and Seongwoo. Then he fixed his attention on just Seongwoo, as if gauging his reaction.

Seongwoo looked calm. Surprised, yes. But calm nonetheless. He finally found his voice. “So I just performed with _the_ Kang Daniel himself?”

“You know Daniel-hyung?” Woojin asked curiously.

“Of course, I do. He’s a pretty famous guy.” Seongwoo laughed, eyes on Daniel. “If I’m not mistaken, I’m older than you.”

Daniel was smiling at Seongwo’s composed reaction, but at the mention of age, he immediately became flustered. “So— Sorry, I didn’t mean to come off as rude by the way I addressed you—”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Seongwoo quickly said. “It’s fine, really. I just assumed you were older because you were bringing a kid around and all.” He leaned forwards a bit, resting his arms on the table. “And here I was wondering how you were such an amazing dancer. I guess it all makes sense now.”

“Can we do our introductions again?” Daniel held out his hand. “I’m Kang Daniel. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Seongwoo shook his hand, the grasp firm. “I’m Ong Seongwoo. Not Hong Seongwoo. Not Gong Seongwoo. Just Ong Seongwoo.”

“Again, thanks for treating us.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Till we meet again.”

Although reluctantly, Daniel ended the handshake.

“You’re an interesting person, Kang Daniel,” Seongwoo said with a grin. He then stood up, straightening his coat. He flashed another grin at Woojin. “How was the ice cream?”

“It was really yummy!” Woojin answered. “I really like the pink ice cream!”

“Ahh, that’s the peach flavor,” Seongwoo said. “There were chunks of real peaches in there too. I’m glad you liked it.”

“So you like peaches, huh?” Daniel ruffled Woojin’s hair affectionately. Woojin nodded repeatedly.

“Well.” Seongwoo gave them a little bow. “Time for me to take my leave. I hope to see you boys later.”

Woojin waved him goodbye, still waving even after Seongwoo disappeared down the stairs. He then rushed to the window to see Seongwoo below. With a hand on the glass, Daniel looked down as well.

For a while, they stared at Seongwoo’s back as he exited the parlor. Just before he disappeared into the crowds, Seongwoo turned around, smiling when he saw their faces. He waved at them.

Daniel and Woojin waved back.

 

 

 

 

“I like how he didn’t freak out when you revealed your face,” Woojin was saying, playing with the spoon in the empty ice cream bowl.

“Yeah, me too.” Daniel was smiling widely. Woojin then stared intently at his face.

“Hyung, your face is really red.”

“It— It’s because I’ve been wearing the mask for a long time.”

“Ohh, so that’s why.” Woojin picked up the spoon and twirled it in his little hand. “He’s a really fun hyung!”

“Yeah...” Daniel then suddenly flinched, as if suddenly remembering something. “Wait a sec—” Fishing out a flickering phone from his pocket, he glanced at it for a split second before letting out a sigh. “Oh no, it’s already this time. Woojin, we should start heading back.”

The bright smile melted off Woojin’s face almost immediately.

“Can’t we stay here a little longer?”

“Woojin...”

“I don’t wanna go back!”

“I’m sorry. I promised them that I’d take you back before 3 o’clock.”

“I wanna stay here with you.” Woojin was pouting, clinging onto Daniel’s arm.

With his free arm, Daniel wrapped the little boy in a hug. “Me too. I wish we could stay together longer too. But I promise that I’ll come see you again soon.”

“I— I wanna visit Seongwoo-hyung at the café too.”

Daniel smiled. It was a warm yet sad smile. “Hopefully I can talk to them and persuade them to let us go out like this again. Then we can go to the café together. Okay?”

Woojin sniffled. Daniel patted him softly on the back. Finally, the little boy nodded. “Okay.”

 

 

 

 

_The picture was almost complete. Just a little bit more. They just needed the last puzzle piece._

“There is still one thing we don’t know,” Minhyun said quietly. “Who is Lee Woojin?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the minhwan balcony scene is a continuation of the jaehwan birthday fic: [a light in the dark ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957130)
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> you can find me on twitter: [@myday_blackrose](https://twitter.com/myday_blackrose)
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> See you guys in the next chapter! ❤


	19. a complete picture

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_Kang Daniel – 25 years old _ **

 

Woojin had gotten ice cream on his hands. Staring at his palms, he said, “I’m gonna go wash my hands.”

“I’ll accompany you,” Daniel said.

“Nooo, I’m a big boy. I can go by myself.”

Letting out a chuckle, Daniel watched Woojin as he climbed down the stairs. The sinks were on the first floor, next to the restroom.

After a few seconds, Daniel followed. His hand found its way into his pocket. When he reached the staircase, he was holding onto something.

 _“Pause memory,”_ Minhyun said immediately.

Jaehwan climbed to his feet, legs feeling a little shaky. Minhyun did the same, already striding towards Kang Daniel with a purpose in each step.

Their client was holding onto a piece of paper that both flickered and shined. Upon closer inspection, Jaehwan realized that the shine was due to the parlor lights reflecting on the slightly glossy material of the paper.

Daniel was looking at the object with a small smile on his face— too many emotions put behind just one smile. There was a hint of hope on his lips, of a certain longing. Jaehwan’s eyes flitted over the words on the paper, widening a little when a sense of understanding emerged.

It was a colorful pamphlet. On it were the smiling faces of children and bold words of promises... and a familiar looking building and a familiar name of a street.

“Hyung,” Jaehwan said, his hand finding its way to the sleeve of Minhyun’s lab coat.

The same understanding filled Minhyun’s gaze before he mumbled, “That explains a lot.”

“Let’s go.”

“Right.”

The pamphlet was made of a thick and glossy paper, yet it felt fragile to the touch when Jaehwan placed his hand on it.

Maybe that was how the next memory would be— fragile. Fragile and easily breakable.

And Jaehwan’s intuition, just like before, wasn’t wrong.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 25 years old _ **

 

They were back in that room again.

Jaehwan realized that he had developed a distaste for the room. It reminded him of how X-Corp easily altered memories. It reminded him of how the events that occurred in that room were not as great and happy as how he had been tricked into believing.

It reminded him of Kang Daniel being knocked unconscious, of Kang Daniel being dragged across the floor by men in lab coats.

Once his eyesight had returned and Jaehwan saw where he was, he tensed up immediately.

The couch, the desk, the walls. They were all the same.

Ahn Junyoung’s office was exactly the same. All except for the bookcase that would be used to cover the hidden door. The hidden door that led to the room where Daniel would be kept in. The bookcase was gone, the wall bare.

“I hate this place,” Jaehwan whispered. He felt fingers wrapping around his hand, and he glanced to his side to see Minhyun right next to him.

“I don’t like it either.” Minhyun held onto his hand, giving it a tiny squeeze. Jaehwan could feel himself relax, just a little. “There they are again.”

Daniel was seated at the couch, a serious expression on his face. Junyoung was behind the desk again, his gaze just as serious as he stared at his son.

The air was thick with an uncomfortable atmosphere. Remembering the pamphlet from the previous memory, Jaehwan could almost guess what the conversation would be about. He had noted how Daniel was still the same age as before, which meant that not much time had passed between this memory and the memory of Daniel’s first meeting with Seongwoo.

Jaehwan waited, willing his heart to calm down. Seeing Daniel and Junyoung at such close proximity, in that certain room again, made Jaehwan want to rush forwards to Daniel, to tell him _get away from this man. Get away from your father because years from now, he’ll make you suffer. And not only you, but Seongwoo will suffer as well—_

“What is it that you came here to tell me, Daniel?”

Flinching at Junyoung’s voice, Jaehwan found himself gripping tightly onto Minhyun’s hand. He needed a constant reminder that a calm mind is what they needed at the moment. A constant reminder to be professional.

Daniel didn’t say a word at first, as if taking the time to collect his strength and courage. For a few seconds, his gaze was unsteady, his mouth opening and then closing.

But then he pulled on a firm gaze, eyes fixed on Junyoung.

“Father,” Daniel said. “Do you remember Woojin?”

Junyoung raised an eyebrow. “You mean the child at the orphanage?”

Jaehwan drew in a sharp intake of breath.

“Yes,” Daniel answered. “Lee Woojin.”

With a small nod, Junyoung leaned back in his chair. “You’ve told me about him quite a lot of times. While I think it’s noble for you to visit the orphanage, don’t forget that I’ve told you that your visits should never get in the way of your schedules.”

“Don’t worry, father. I make sure to only visit on my free time.”

“That’s good to hear.” Junyoung sounded uneasy, as if knowing where the conversation was going and not liking it. "By the way, Daniel, your manager will meet you soon after this to discuss a few events that you'll be attending. So please be prepared."

"Of course. Father, can we go back to the previous topic, please?"

Junyoung sighed. "What is it, Daniel?"

Daniel seemed to hesitate for just a split second. But he was back again, as sure as ever. His hand slipped into his pocket, afterwards pulling out the glossy pamphlet. “Woojin is five years old right now. And he’s a really good boy.”

“And...?”

Taking the plunge, Daniel pulled on a smile. “Father, I want to adopt him.”

The following silence was deafening.

Junyoung’s eyes were wide, the shock clear on his face. Daniel’s composure had weakened, and he bit his lip in nervous anticipation.

After overcoming the shock, Ahn Junyoung smoothed out his features. His eyes were serious again, a frown on his face. “We've had a similar conversation before. Many times, actually. I was hoping you'd stop, but here you are asking the same thing again."

Daniel nodded. “I’m old enough right now— 25 years old being the minimum age to adopt. I’ve already thought it through and—”

“No.”

The smile faded from Daniel’s face, the disappointment evident. But it wasn’t of surprise. It seemed that Daniel had expected a similar response from his father— had prepared himself for it. But he could not mask his disappointment. It was as if there was hope and he had clung onto that hope.

“But...” he began.

“No,” Junyoung cut him off. “Absolutely not.”

The words were like bullets to Daniel. They struck him and dealt a heavy blow, knocking the wind out of him. For a while, Daniel just sat there, breathing in and out. In and out.

Finally he spoke. “Why?”

"Hm?"

"You would always say 'no'. But you never explained why. You'd just give me vague explanations..."

“You’re still young, Daniel,” Junyoung said. “Adoption takes a long time. It could take over a whole year. It’s true that single parents are allowed to adopt now, but there’s a reason why they only permitted it now. Because there’s too much uncertainties. And you’re an idol. To have a child...” He then stopped, as if willing Daniel to fill in the blanks himself.

“Like I said before, I’m old enough to adopt.” Daniel’s hand was on his thigh, over the pocket. There was something in there, something other than the pamphlet he had pulled out, and his fingers tapped on it. He drew in another breath. It seemed to calm him down. “As for my career, I’ve thought it through. I need to support him too, after all. I’ll still work as an idol. I can manage my schedules so that I can work and also be there for Woojin. As his father. I’ll be there for him... I’ll pick him up after school, we'll have meals together, I’ll tuck him in bed every night. Everything. I’ll be a good parent to him... and he’ll be happy.”

At the last sentence, Daniel was smiling, fondness in his eyes.

“We’ll be happy,” he finished.

“Daniel... You need to think about this. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you.”

“I’ve planned this for a long time. This isn’t just some random or fleeting urge. I’ve wanted to for years now. And...” Daniel pulled on a shaky smile. “And Woojin wants this as well.”

“You have to realize that you’re an idol, Daniel.”

“I said that I’ll be able to manage the schedules. I could be an idol and a parent at the same time—”

“It’s not about the schedules.”

Daniel blinked, confusion clouding his eyes. “Then why...?”

“It’s not about you having enough time or not. It’s about your _image._ Can you imagine what sort of things people would think about you? What they might say about you?” Junyoung let out another sigh, a tense silence filling the air before he continued. “People might think that Woojin is your illegitimate child. They might wonder who the mother is. And even if we prove to them that he isn’t, people would refuse to believe, especially people who wish to do harm to you. Even though it’s rumors and gossip, but it could ruin a person’s entire career.”

Daniel’s gaze was wavering.

Junyoung continued. “That’s just one of the many negative scenarios that will most likely occur if you were to adopt. Think about the public’s view of you. About your fans’ view of you. How would they feel knowing that Kang Daniel, a famous idol loved by many, has a child?”

“Th-They would be happy for me,” Daniel said. Just like his gaze, his voice slightly shook as well.

“Are you sure about that?” Junyoung’s voice was quiet now, but it was by no means weak. “How can you be sure that they would feel how you hoped they would feel? What if they think you’ll become an irresponsible adult, juggling between raising a child and a hectic career? How can you ensure that no one will turn their backs on you?”

“That’s a terrible thing to say,” Daniel mumbled.

“Yes. It is terrible but it is also a possibility.”

“I want to believe that they’d be happy for me.”

“And they might be. But you also need to weigh the negative consequences that might occur.” Junyoung’s expression then slightly softened. “You know how people view adoptions. I just want to protect you, Daniel.”

“You adopted _me_.”

“Yes. And it wasn’t an easy process, nor was I free from any harsh rumors or gossip. But I was willing to take the risk because I care about you. Because I love you. And in the end, we managed to pull through.”

Daniel’s expression was raw with emotion now. His hand was still on the object in his pocket. “And I care about Woojin. I love him.”

“I won't allow it, Daniel.”

“I’m old enough to make my own decisions. I’m an adult and I’ve supported myself and I can definitely support Woojin as well—”

“And you’re an artist under _my_ agency, and you must abide by the rules of the agency.” The soft expression was gone from Junyoung’s face. “I even suggested that if you were ever to date anyone, you would keep it a secret until you turned a certain age. You have to think of your career, because you never know what people would say or think about you. And that’s _just_ for dating. You’re now talking about _adopting_. Could you imagine having to keep your child in the shadows, in secret, away from the world?”

“But...”

“How would you feel if you had to keep your child a secret? To not be allowed to be seen with him?”

“But would I still be able to adopt him...?” Daniel said, voice barely a whisper.

A silence. Junyoung stared at him, speechless.

Daniel’s eyes were slightly glazed, tears forming at the corners. “But I won’t be able to tell anyone that he’s my child... and I can’t be seen with him... and he won’t be able to tell anyone that I’m his dad...?”

Junyoung didn’t say anything, still at a loss for words, as if Daniel had found a loophole that he had not expected. He watched as Daniel’s eyes became more watery, how the young man’s shoulders started to shake.

“If I have to do all that... Would you let me adopt him, father?”

“That would be a horrible life,” Junyoung said quietly.

“But I could announce him as my son later, right?” A shaky smile made its way to Daniel’s lips. “What was the age that you suggested before? When I’m thirty years old, right...?”

“Daniel...”

“Is that right, father?”

Junyoung seemed to falter, just a little bit. He then let out another sigh. “That is correct.”

“Then I’ll do it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not. I’m being serious.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“I’m sure.” The tears were cascading down Daniel’s face, the hurt obvious in his voice and eyes— at the thought of having to hide his relationship with the child he loved and cared for, at the thought that Woojin wouldn’t be able to openly enjoy time with his own father just like any other kid, that they would always have to be alert anytime and anywhere...

But Daniel nodded.

“If that’s what it takes. Then I’ll do it.”

A last sigh from Junyoung. This time it was heavy and full of burden.

“Okay, Daniel. Okay. Under those conditions, you may adopt him.”

Daniel let out a shuddering breath. It sounded both painful and full of hope.

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun was holding Jaehwan back.

The younger doctor had lunged forwards and Minhyun had only a split second to react and grab onto Jaehwan by the arms, pulling the doctor against his chest.

“Let go, hyung,” Jaehwan said through gritted teeth, thrashing weakly against the hold. With Minhyun behind him, Jaehwan couldn’t see his friend’s face. Maybe Minhyun was panicking. Maybe Minhyun was just as angry as him.

Jaehwan didn’t know. His eyes were on Junyoung, on Junyoung’s unapologetic face as Daniel continued to cry.

“Jaehwan, _don’t._ If you harm anyone in memories, you’ll get fired—”

“Let me go, hyung. Let me go—”

Jaehwan wasn’t sure what it was that made him snap. Maybe it was the bottled-up emotions ever since seeing Daniel getting his memory wiped. Maybe it was seeing Daniel suffer throughout all these years, and seeing Daniel suffering _now_ under Junyoung’s control and so-called “power” and manipulation _—_ and the root of all of the suffering was right in front of the doctor’s eyes.

He never snapped like this. He was a good person... He was a good doctor... He knew how to act and what should and should not be done.

But seeing everything unfold like this caused all the emotions to boil to an exploding point.

So he exploded.

Jaehwan had no idea what he wanted to do. He wasn’t the type to take out his anger with physical violence. That wasn’t him. But maybe he would get in Junyoung’s face, maybe grab his collar, and just yell at him and ask _why? Why did you do all this and how could you?_

But with his vision all blurry with anger and his heart pounding painfully, Jaehwan really had no idea what he was capable of. It was so unlike him to be like this.

Thankfully, Minhyun was there. Even when he was falling apart, Minhyun was always there for him.

“It won’t change a thing!”

The older doctor’s words made its way through the muffled noises in Jaehwan’s ears.

Jaehwan struggled, weaker than ever, against his friend’s arms. But he had lost most of his energy already.

Hwang Minhyun was a person that barely raised his voice. He was always composed, always so calm.

So his words and the way he said them helped pierce through the haze in Jaehwan’s mind.

“It won’t change a thing,” Minhyun continued, slightly choked up. “Whatever you’re planning to do to Junyoung right here... It won’t change what happened. It won’t change the fact that Daniel had to keep Woojin a secret— that Daniel would lose all memories of Woojin and Seongwoo— that Seongwoo had to suffer through it all— It won’t change a thing, Jaehwan.”

Breathing heavily, Jaehwan thrashed out one last time, weaker than ever, before slumping forwards. He would have fallen if Minhyun had not kept ahold on him.

Jaehwan’s vision was blurry. As his hands dropped to his side, he realized that he was crying.

Minhyun must have realized as well. Jaehwan felt the arms that held him loosen the grip, sliding around his shoulders and pulling him into a small comforting hug.

Jaehwan cried. He cried together with Daniel, even if the latter did not even know he was there.

Even if Daniel did not know that someone there was hurting with him, feeling his pain and burdens.

Jaehwan had gotten attached. Even without interacting with Daniel at all, Jaehwan had gotten attached. He had tried so hard not to, but it happened anyway. He was repeating his past mistakes that he promised himself not to do again. Maybe, as a doctor, he was caring too much. Too much empathizing... Maybe... no, _surely,_ he was being unprofessional.

But Daniel had suffered throughout the years and all Jaehwan wanted was to see him happy. Daniel deserved to be happy.

“I know it’s bad,” Minhyun said. He had bent his head down a little, his voice clear in Jaehwan’s ear. “I know it’s really bad. But we can’t help Daniel if we don’t think clearly.”

“Hyung... Did you realize...?”

His voice was so soft, so quiet, that if Minhyun was not mere inches from his face, the older doctor would not have heard him.

“What is it?” Minhyun asked gently.

“On the day Woojin died,” Jaehwan said, feeling a pang in his chest right away. “When Daniel cradled Woojin in his arms... Woojin was trying to say something. I _thought_ Woojin was trying to say something. I thought— I thought he was struggling to say Daniel’s name. But I thought he couldn’t even do that, couldn’t say Daniel’s name even once, because he was in so much pain.”

It was all playing in Jaehwan’s mind— the sight of Woojin on the ground, blood dripping from the wound on his head, Daniel desperately holding onto him. _And the word that Woojin had struggled to say._

It wasn’t a name. It wasn’t the name “Daniel” that Woojin was trying to utter in the last seconds of his life.

Jaehwan wanted to shut his ears, as if doing so would block out Daniel and Woojin’s voices that were echoing in his head.

_It h-hurts._

_You’ll be okay. I promise. We’ll go to the hospital. You’ll be okay._

_Da..._

_Woojin, please. You’ll be okay. I promise._

_Da... D— Da..._

Woojin didn’t fail in saying what he wanted to say. With the last bit of strength he had left, Woojin had succeeded.

 _“‘Dad’.”_ The word poured out of Jaehwan’s mouth, just like it did for the little boy that died far too early. “Woojin was saying _‘Dad’_. Daniel wasn’t just like a father to Woojin. He _was_ Woojin’s father.”

Minhyun was resting his chin on Jaehwan’s shoulder. The younger doctor felt his friend nod before he continued.

“Kang Daniel was Lee Woojin’s father.”

 

 

 

 

 

The next couple minutes passed by in silence. Junyoung’s eyes were cast downwards, on the surface of the wooden table, all the way until Daniel’s tears had dried up.

“Feeling better, son?” Junyoung asked.

Wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, Daniel nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry for getting emotional.” Shakily, he began to stand. “I’m— I’m going to tell Woojin.”

“Make sure he understands the conditions of the adoption,” Junyoung said. "I will also speak to the orphanage so that they understand not to spread the information either."

“Ri-Right...” Daniel then gave a small bow. “Thank you. I’m leaving the pamphlet here just in case you want to read about the adoption process. I’ll be leaving now.”

Jaehwan had calmed down as well, his eyes red from crying. But the tears were all dried up as too. He felt exhausted as he steadied himself on his feet. “Sorry for exploding, hyung.”

“It’s alright, Jaehwannie.”

After giving Minhyun a pat on the arm, the older doctor let him go.

Taking in a shaky breath, Jaehwan followed after Daniel. He wiped his eyes as he walked.

Daniel left the room and so did the two doctors. Out in the hallway, their client leaned against the wall, staring at the ceiling.

A smile making its way to his face, Daniel pulled something out from his pocket— the object that he had held onto during the meeting with his father.

It was a hardcover book barely the size of the palm of Daniel’s hand. It was small enough to fit into a big pocket.

Daniel flipped the pages over, his smile growing when it landed on a certain page.

The book was flickering. Minhyun paused the memory. 

After seeing the contents of the pamphlet, both doctors were pretty sure of where the next memory would take them.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**_ Kang Daniel – 24 years old _ **

 

“Woojin, why are you so interested in learning English?”

“I just want to!” Woojin replied. “You promised to teach me.”

Daniel grinned, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Alright. But after this, you need to go sleep, okay? Everyone else is sleeping.”

They were in an empty room full of tables. It was a sort of lounge area of the orphanage with posters filled with words of encouragement plastered on the walls.

It was far from being a fancy place. There weren’t even any chairs, the tables being short enough to reach if you sat on the floor. But in that simple room with its simple everything, Daniel and Woojin had formed a special bond.

The building was quiet, albeit for a few noises coming from the other rooms. But it was well in the afternoon, time for the children to sleep, but Woojin had gotten permission to spend time with Daniel before his naptime.

“Let’s start with the English alphabet,” Daniel said. He set a book on the table— the small, hardcover book. He opened it to the first page. Woojin’s eyes twinkled with excitement. “The first letter is ‘A’.” He pointed to the drawing of a fruit, right next to the large bold letter. “Here’s a word that starts with ‘A’. _Apple.”_

“Apple,” Woojin echoed, slowly. He clutched at the scarf around his neck, pulling it up to his chin. Even though they were indoors, he also wore an oversized jacket. It _was_ a little cold.

Daniel grinned. “Whoa, you’re already a master at this!”

Jaehwan and Minhyun watched from a few tables away. “The address of this place...” the younger doctor began.

“Yeah,” Minhyun said. “It’s right next to the park that Daniel goes to a lot. The one he went to with Seongwoo and Woojin too.”

“Right across the street,” Jaehwan said. "Daniel has a lot of memories that takes place in that park. When I did my research last night, I memorized the names of the streets near the park. I thought they might hold some importance somehow. And remember when Seongwoo talked to Daniel about adopting a child? Seongwoo mentioned an orphanage to Daniel. I naturally looked around and saw the building from afar."

Jahewan had the weirdest feeling. He had realized, upon entering the memory and glancing at his wristwatch, that Daniel was 24 years old. Which meant that he was the same age of Jaehwan.

It was a silly thought, really. But Jaehwan couldn’t help but ponder over it for a bit.

He couldn’t help but wonder if, in another universe... someplace, somewhere... he and Daniel could have met as same-age friends. Maybe they could have joked around with each other, could have played with each other, hung out, shared their dreams, became close. Something like that. _Wouldn’t that be nice?_

But he quickly relinquished the thought. It was just a fleeting thought. His...  _their world_ was right here— in this orphanage in Kang Daniel’s memory, while their real bodies were at a small house by the sea.

_This was their world._

_Right here._

After teaching the letter ‘B’, Daniel moved onto the next page. “Ooh, I like this one. ‘C’!” He then let out a tiny meow sound, making Woojin giggle. “‘C’ is for cat! I love cats.”

“C.” Woojin repeated. “Cat.”

“That’s right. And now...”

“Oh, I know this letter! It’s the letter ‘D’!” Woojin then added brightly, “‘D’ is for Daniel!”

A little surprised at first, Daniel then burst out laughing. Touched and happy, he clapped his hands. “Yes, that’s right.” As Woojin smiled proudly, Daniel added another example from the book. “Another English word that starts with ‘D’ is dog.”

He then made a barking sound, causing Woojin to squeal with laughter again.

“Another word!” Woojin then said.

“Um...” Daniel seemed to think it over. “Oh, I know. _‘Dad’_.” He then repeated the word in Korean, and Woojin’s eyes widened.

Woojin then stared at the table, tiny hands touching the book absentmindedly. “I wish I had a dad.”

Maybe it was an unexpected thing to say. But Daniel had given the little boy a pat on the head, to comfort him.

“I wish you were my dad,” Woojin then said, and Daniel’s hand stopped.

Nobody said anything for a while. Woojin then glanced up to see Daniel grinning at him.

“I’m going to tell you something that’ll surprise you,” Daniel said.

“What?”

“What if I were to make that wish come true?”

“Wh-What?”

“What if I were to become your dad? Would you like that?”

Another silence. Then Woojin’s eyes quickly filled with tears.

Daniel was panicking, already glancing around the room for a tissue. But Woojin wiped his own eyes with his tiny fists. Although the little boy continued to cry, he was smiling.

Through his emotional hiccups, Woojin managed to say, “Do you re-really mean th-that?”

“Of course. Every word.”

“Da-Daniel-hyung as my d-dad—” Woojin said through his small sobs. “Th-That would be a-amazing!”

“I’m still too young right now,” Daniel said, offering his sleeve for Woojin to use as a tissue. The little boy did just that. “But next year, I should be old enough to adopt you. To be a dad. And then we can go home together. Live together.”

Woojin let out another happy sob.

“We won’t have to wait for the visiting days to see each other,” Daniel continued. “We’ll see each other every day. Won’t that be great?”

Woojin nodded, tears still falling down his chubby cheeks. “Dad,” he called.

“Hey, I’m not your dad yet,” Daniel said, though he was smiling widely, already liking the sound of it. “Soon, Woojin. Everything’s alright.”

 

 

The memento was the scarf that Woojin wore. Daniel had wrapped it comfortably around Woojin’s neck after realizing that the boy was a little cold.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

_**Kang Daniel – 21 years old** _

 

Daniel had fallen asleep in the park.

He was sitting on the bench right next to the playground— the same bench that he would sit on for many years to come. On the bench was a small, gray backpack. And across the street was the orphanage that he would visit for many years to come.

He wore a cap to hide his hair, but a few pink strands still managed to stick out. Hands covered in the pocket of his jacket and half of his face covered with a scarf, he had been staring at the sky for a bit. The weather _was_ pretty chilly, the trees starting to turn their brown and red colors.

Daniel’s eyes began to flutter close, and he fell asleep right there.

He stayed like that for a bit, unaware of the two invisible doctors that were sitting on the playground’s swings.

“Not a very safe place to sleep,” Minhyun said, concern in his voice.

“He can’t help it sometimes,” Jaehwan explained.

“This is the year Daniel made his debut, right?”

“Right.”

“He’s so young here.”

Jaehwan gripped onto the chain of the swings, though he made sure not to make any big movements. He did not want Daniel to wake up to the swings moving by themselves. “Younger than us.”

“Yeah... It’s a funny feeling, isn’t it? We saw him a whole lot older than us, and now here he is.”

“Feeling old, hyung?” Jaehwan then asked, cracking a smile.

The fact that he had recovered enough to make a joke must have made Minhyun feel relieved.

“Perhaps,” Minhyun answered with a grin.

Jaehwan didn’t get the chance to make another silly remark. Because at that moment, Lee Woojin appeared.

Woojin was _tiny._ The boy seemed barely over one year old, his little legs shaky and as he took step after step towards the playground. His tiny body was enveloped in a small hoodie that was too big for him, almost reaching his knees.

“Oh my gosh,” Jaehwan breathed. “He’s so adorable. Look at him go!”

“What is he doing all the way out here?” Minhyun glanced around. “All by himself?”

“It looks like he just learned to walk. What if he falls?”

Minhyun had glanced to his side to see an empty swing. Jaehwan had dashed over to the toddler, holding his arms out.

“Just in case, hyung!” Jaehwan said over his shoulder. “I’ll only catch him if he falls!”

“Okay, Jaehwan.”

He didn’t spare another glance in Minhyun’s direction. Jaehwan had caught up with Woojin, now walking side by side with him.

An uncomfortable and rather desperate feeling had made its way to clutch at Jaehwan’s heart. The doctor knew what would happen to Woojin afterwards, years and years later. He had seen it himself with his own eyes, and it pained him whenever he thought of it.

Even though whatever happened in this memory wouldn’t change the future events, Jaehwan didn’t want to see Woojin get hurt here. He wasn’t going to allow even the smallest of bruises on Woojin’s knees if the toddler were to fall.

Jaehwan simply wanted to keep Woojin safe.

Thankfully, Woojin had enough control of his legs, though his steps were unsteady.

The toddler’s eyes had been fixed on the playground, but the closer he got to it, the closer he got to Daniel as well.

And when he realized that there was a person fast asleep on the bench, Woojin halted in his steps.

For a few seconds, he stared at the sleeping man.

Then he let out a squeal of joy (or perhaps curiosity) and changed course, heading for Daniel instead.

Tiny legs making tiny strides, it took a while for Woojin to reach the bench. But he succeeded, letting out a loud giggle as he bumped into Daniel, immediately latching onto the man’s ankle.

Daniel stirred in his sleep. Up close, Jaehwan could see the glee on Woojin’s face.

“Wh-What—” Daniel’s eyes fluttered open this time, and he blinked a couple times. “What the—”

“Sleep!” Woojin said.

“Oh...” Having regained his senses, Daniel blinked again. “Oh! Hi— Be careful—!”

He quickly placed his hand on Woojin’s back when the toddler began to tip to the side, steadying him.

Woojin then laughed.

Although looking confused at first, Daniel began to smile. “I’m awake now.” He then looked around, brow furrowed with worry. “Where are your parents?”

When Woojin didn’t answer, Daniel decided to try another question. This time, he spoke more slowly, his gaze fixed on the boy in front of him.

“What’s your name?”

Woojin’s eyes seemed to light up. “Oojin!”

With a grin, Daniel answered. “I’m Daniel.”

The foreign name must have been hard to pronounce. Woojin looked at him for a bit, testing the name. “Da...”

“Da-ni-el”

“Dadiel.”

Daniel laughed. “Are you having trouble with the “ni”? It’s Da- _ni_ -el.”

“Dad...iel.”

Another laugh. “I’m not your dad, kid.” He then let out another “oh!” when an idea sprung up in his head. With his free hand, he opened his backpack. “I have something cool.”

Woojin looked at him curiously as Daniel drew his hand out, fingers clutching around what seemed to be white confetti.

It _was_ confetti. With a chuckle, Daniel threw the confetti in the air, letting it float down towards them.

Woojin was clapping his hands at the little spectacle. He whirled around, trying to see and touch as much confetti as possible.

Suddenly, another voice joined them.

_“Woojin! Lee Woojin!”_

Daniel glanced up, and so did the two doctors. Woojin was still clinging onto Daniel.

In the distance, a young woman was running towards them, long black hair bouncing as she ran.

“Is that your mom?” Daniel asked. Woojin didn’t answer. The confetti was all scattered over the ground.

The woman reached them, her cheeks red from all the running. She then bent down to Woojin’s height, wrapping her arms around him. “Oh thank goodness, you’re safe!”

“Safe,” Woojin repeated.

Her pretty features full of worry, the woman picked up Woojin. Holding him in her arms, she turned to Daniel.

Not wanting to look suspicious, Daniel quickly tugged the scarf down, revealing his face. “I woke up and he was already here,” he tried to explain.

“It’s fine,” the woman quickly said. “Woojin likes to run off like this. If anything, I should be apologizing to you for the bother.”

“It was no bother at all.” Daniel seemed relieved. Apparently the woman didn’t recognize him as an idol. He just made his debut, after all. “It was just for a bit. Are you his mother?”

The women shook her head. “No, I just help out at the orphanage. The kids are going outside today for a little picnic. Over there.” She pointed to a spot in the distance, an area of the park covered by tall bushes. “I let my guard down for just a couple seconds and Woojin disappeared from my sight.” She let out a guilty sigh, her eyes on the boy in her arms. “I’m so sorry, Woojin.”

Woojin replied by giving her a hug.

“He’s cute,” Daniel said with a chuckle. He then furrowed his brow again. “Did you say ‘the orphanage’?”

“Yes. The one across the street, to be exact. Woojin lives there.”

“I see...”

Daniel looked a bit sad, as if remembering a million things in the course of just a few seconds. He then pulled on a smile again and stood up. “Well it was nice meeting you and Woojin.” He then looked thoughtful. “The orphanage right across the street?”

The toddler shifted, turning his head to look at Daniel.

“That’s right,” the woman answered. “You should visit sometime. Maybe help around if you want.” She let out a small, bright laugh. “Maybe when you’re all grown up, you could become a potential parent.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Daniel said with a grin.

“By the way, what is this all over the ground?”

“Oh, just some confetti. I had an event a couple days ago and confetti was flying all over. I decided to save a handful, for memory’s sake.”

“Was it a birthday party?”

Daniel just smiled. “Something like that.”

“Interesting.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to pick it all up. Littering sucks.” Then he was addressing both the woman and Woojin. “I hope you both enjoy your picnic.”

“Will do.” The women then poked Woojin on the cheek. “Say thank you, Woojin.”

“Thank!” Woojin said brightly.

“He’s still learning to talk,” the woman explained. With another smile, she gave Daniel a little wave. Woojin did the same. “Goodbye.”

“Bye.” Daniel waved back.

The woman began heading back to the direction of the picnic. Over her shoulder, Woojin continued waving at Daniel.           

And Daniel continued to wave back. It was like a promise.

 

 

 

 

Jaehwan had returned to the swings, sitting down next to Minhyun again.

“There we have it,” he said.

“There we have it,” Minhyun agreed.

“Hyung, I can’t exactly say when, but... But I’m sure that Daniel succeeded in adopting Woojin. Somewhere in between the memory of him at 25 years old and 27 years old. That is, between the memory of him meeting Seongwoo for the first time... and the memory of him at the sea with Woojin and Seongwoo. There’s no way that the orphanage would have allowed Daniel to take Woojin out to such a far location if he was just a visitor.”

“I think so too,” Minhyun replied. “That place by the sea is hours and hours away from the city. And in that memory of them at the sea... not once did Woojin call Daniel using ‘hyung’.”

“Right. The adoption process takes a long time, but we can assume that Daniel was Woojin’s father for at least a year.”

“Daniel managed to do it,” Minhyun said with a small smile. “He managed to care for Woojin, in secret, while keeping up with his idol schedules.”

“It’s possible that he had at least a little bit of help.” Jaehwan wondered about it for a bit.  “Someone to take care of Woojin during the times he’s swarmed with work.”

“Maybe Ong Seongwoo himself. We saw how much Seongwoo loved Woojin as well. And how much Woojin trusted and loved Seongwoo.”

“Oh.” Jaehwan paused. “You’re right, hyung.”

“It must have been difficult for all of them. But they were happy.”

“They really were.”

There was a slight breeze that blew in their direction.

“You know... I thought about a lot of things,” Minhyun then said. “A lot of previous details popped up in my mind. I connected the dots. Things that other people may find as little things... As scattered, separate, unconnected little details. Those things are actually much more important than we think.”

“Yeah...” Jaehwan was gripping onto the chains again.

“I dunno why, but the first thing that I thought hard about was the story that Doyeon told me.” Minhyun was glancing at the sky. “She told me how she and Seongwoo played with each other a lot when they were kids. Doyeon’s mom would prepare bowls of peaches for them. Wanting to be polite, Seongwoo ate those peaches. Even though he hated them.”

“Ong Seongwoo hated peaches,” Jaehwan said, more like a question than a statement.

“He sure did. But afterwards he would keep bowls of peaches around his and Daniel’s house. Now why would he do that if he hated peaches so much?”

It didn’t take Jaehwan long to figure it out. “Because Woojin loved peaches.”

Minhyun nodded. “It was one of Seongwoo’s many ways of trying to make Daniel remember Woojin. Because he can’t directly tell everything to Daniel, Seongwoo tried to do it subliminally. He’d put peaches all over the house, trying to trigger _something_ within Daniel’s subconscious.” Minhyun then glanced down, his eyes on Daniel now. “It was just one of Seongwoo’s many attempts.”

Jaehwan’s grip on the swings tightened. His knuckles were turning white. He then spoke in a quiet voice. “Throughout his whole life, even right before death, Seongwoo tried to trigger Daniel’s memories of Woojin. Tried to trigger the memories of the three of them together. He talked about the moon often, even brought Daniel to the sea— to that one place where they dreamed of a kingdom up there on the moon. The place where Daniel told Seongwoo that one day, he would reveal everything to the world. I guess he was talking not only about the fact that he was Woojin’s father, but also his relationship with Seongwoo.”

“Thirty years old...” Minhyun muttered. “Daniel would reveal everything at thirty years old.”

Jaehwan was staring at the ground. It hurt to look at Daniel, knowing everything that would happen to him, in his entire life. _Daniel didn’t get the chance. Because before he turned thirty years old, he..._

“And thus, Daniel yearned for the sea,” the younger doctor said, cutting off his own thoughts, not wanting to finish the sentence. “It’s why Daniel wanted to live there. Did you realize that the house Daniel built is exactly according to how Woojin and Seongwoo had imagined the little kingdom on the moon?”

“Oh.” There was a sort of raw emotion in Minhyun’s eyes, the realization making its way to his features. “Now that you mention it...” He trailed off for a bit. “Woojin didn’t want a castle. He was fine with just a small house made out of bricks... a house with just two floors.”

“With a chimney and a cozy fireplace,” Jaehwan finished, remembering Seongwoo’s suggestion. “Woojin would have loved that house.” The doctor wasn’t just talking about the imaginary house on the moon, but he was also talking about that small house by the sea as well.

Minhyun seemed to understand. His eyes glazed over. “He would.”

Daniel was staring at the sky, smiling to himself.

“Jaehwan.”

“Yes, hyung?”

“Don’t panic, but...”

Jaehwan knew the tone of his friend’s voice. He turned to Minhyun, who was pulling something from the pocket of his lab coat.

Willing himself to stay as calm as possible, Jaehwan said, “The heart monitor.”

“Yeah,” Minhyun confirmed. He held the small device in his hand. The screen had been a neutral green color, but now it was a blinding yellow. And on the screen, the lines were no longer moving in steady beats. Now, they moved erratically. “It started being like this just a minute ago, while Daniel was talking to Woojin, in this memory.”

It was a slap to reality, clearing Jaehwan’s muddled thoughts. The urgency of everything became prominent.

Kang Daniel’s condition was no longer stable.

In the memory, Daniel was smiling, looking completely healthy and fine. But in the real world, he was lying on a bed, the beeping of a cardiac monitor next to him. And no doubt, Sungwoon and Jisung had their eyes on that monitor, the beeping noise filling their ears.

“We’re running out of time,” Jaehwan said. “How long do you think we have?”

Minhyun’s tone was as grave as ever. “Hopefully enough to grant Daniel’s wish.”

“Then we have to hurry.”

The two doctors climbed to their feet. Scattered all over the ground by Daniel’s shoes were the rectangular pieces of confetti he had thrown. Each piece flickered, as if beckoning them over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_The final puzzle piece was in place. The picture was complete._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story, I tweaked some Korean adoption rules. Alternate universe, indeed.
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> Things are gonna get really intense, so prepare yourselves! ㅠ_ㅠ
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> Also! Don't forget to check out the stories of the [Gapyeong Lovers' Ongniel fic fest!!](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/gapyeonglovers/works) Everyone did an amazing job ❤
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> me twitter: [@myday_blackrose](https://twitter.com/myday_blackrose)


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